


Have You Tried Turning it Off and On Again?

by anyrei, mugglerock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A Lot of Tech Talk, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst, Any’s the IT Nerd, Bottom Dean Winchester, Clients From Hell, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dean/Cas Pinefest 2019, Depression, Dom/sub Undertones, Don’t Come Crying, Epic Blue Labes, Epistolary, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Hey Don’t Look at Me, Holy Shit Dean Shouldn’t Be Allowed Near a Computer, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Partner Loss, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rimming, Romance, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, That’s No Joke, This Ain’t Pinefest for Nothin’, Top Castiel, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unsafe Sex, Wall Sex, You Have Been Warned, like slow burn, sort of enemies to friends to lovers, the dulcinea effect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 10:46:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 119,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17938355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyrei/pseuds/anyrei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugglerock/pseuds/mugglerock
Summary: Cas Novak has spent a majority of his adult life escaping his past, hopping from job to job and city to city in six months or less. Seattle, Washington was supposed to be no different. A pretty standard systems admin job for a company filled with a hilarious variety of Clients from Hell. Dean Winchester being a prime candidate (and almost worth a submission). The big, bad marketing director who had been known to make employees cry, if he wasn’t dumping iced coffee on their heads.He might have been content in assuming such things of the company, “Mean Girl,” had they not accidentally bonded over some trash TV in the breakroom one workaholics Saturday. As they say, it was, “the start of a beautiful, bizarrely satisfying, if sexually frustrating, friendship.” And somewhere between building a living room fort out of moving boxes and dog sitting his Baby, Cas quickly realized he had stopped trying to outrun his past.Can two broken puzzle pieces fit together to make a brand new puzzle?Only one way to find out.[Part of the Dean Cas Pinefest 2019][Fantabulously Awesome Art made by thevioletcaptain a.k.a Imogenbynight]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Any here:** Our first Pinefest! We are sooooo excited and we seriously couldn’t wait to get this fic online! (on a personal note, I also signed up as an artist for pinefest, so you really need to check out saltnhalo’s fic for pinefest too. Cuz it’s just amazing!) Speaking of art: Our jaws dropped when we read the name of the artist who picked us and we had a super hardcore fangirl moment. It's nothing other than [Imogenbynight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imogenbynight/pseuds/imogenbynight)!!!!!! (aka [thevioletcaptain](http://thevioletcaptain.tumblr.com/)) DEAD!!!!
> 
>  _Frankie here:_ For real, it’s a friggin’ honor to be working with her. I can’t even. Is this real life? Or is it just fantasy. (and I swear to Chuck, Any if you don’t pick up where I left off, DIVORCE).
> 
>  **Any here:** *mumbles* caught in a landslide, no escape from reality (It’s not fun when it doesn’t happen naturally, FRANKIE!!)
> 
>  _Frankie here:_ I’m SO PROUD *wipes tear* and you’re right, it would’ve been better if it was natural, but you’re so goddamn Cas like, I couldn’t be sure.
> 
>  **Any here:** WHO SAYS I DIDN’T GOOGLE THE LYRICS CUZ I ONLY KNOW THE MELODY CUZ WHEN I HEARD THE SONG I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND A WORD IN ENGLISH HENCE WHY I DON’T KNOW THE WORDS LOL (yes the caps were not optional cuz second cup of coffee)
> 
>  _Frankie here:_ Then my demand that you pick it up was right and just and at least you’re pretty. <3 <3 Anyway, goddamn, we loved this fic. It was our first, real legit slow burn and we truly hope you suffer… er, I mean, enjoy it. 
> 
> **Any here:**  
> 
> [ahem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thyJOnasHVE).
> 
> And also *cough cough*, yeah well we didn’t suffer at ALL writing all the UST and pining. We also didn’t write smut in a parallel doc to help us through the dry spell. Not at all. You guys will be fine! *cough cough*
> 
>  _Frankie here:_ I can’t remember if we actually did so I have no idea if any is being sarcastic right now. But yeah it was rough on us, so hopefully it’s worth the payout! Also Wayne’s World is accurate to how we felt finding out Imogen was our artist.  
>   
> And you can see her gorgeous freakin' art [here](http://thevioletcaptain.tumblr.com/post/183100754078/art-for-have-you-tried-turning-it-off-and-on)! GO SHOWER HER WITH LOVE!
> 
>  **Any here:** I was not being sarcastic but I get why you would forget. We're writing soooooooooo many fics at the moment!!
> 
>  _Frankie here:_ and we have what? Four or five fics getting ready for beta?
> 
>  **Any here:** It feels like I’m forgetting something, yeah, I think probably five lol.
> 
>  _Frankie here:_ And no, none of them are the IAMD sequel or the PWF prequel (which have both been started and periodically get worked on!) So yeah, we hope you like our Pinefest fic!! <3<3<3
> 
>  **Any here:** Have fun and leave us comments, cuz we love them like Cas loves bees and Dean.
> 
>  _Frankie here:_ Even if we’ve fallen behind on replying to them! <3<3 P.S. we love comments like Dean loves Cas and cheesy 80’s horror movies.
> 
> P.P.S. Massive thanks, love, kudos, cookies, naked angels for an amazingly quick beta job to the fantasmic [son_of_a_bitch_spn_family](https://archiveofourown.org/users/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family/pseuds/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family)! We friggin' love you, kid!
> 
> P.P.P.S. You can follow us on our joint tumblr [here](https://the-real-anyrock.tumblr.com/)!

**Chapter 1**

 

* * *

 _To: ITS Service Request <itservice_request@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: HELP ASAP!_

 

_My stupid computer did your dumb update thing right in the middle of a very important project deadline and I lost all of my damn work. This needs to be fixed. Immediately._

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

"Holy frakking toaster. Dean Winchester just sent another one." Charlie – the redheaded programmer with a personality as bright as her hair – groaned and leaned back into her chair, sharing a self-pitying look with Kevin, who was working on repairing a motherboard.

 

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. It was his first day at Smith and Wesson, a high profile consultant company, and his short introduction round as new head of IT by HR had been exactly that. Short.

 

"Who’s Dean Winchester?" he asked, looking up from the documentation his predecessor had left him.

 

"Head of marketing," Kevin muttered before he smirked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "You should go, boss. You know, introduce yourself."

 

Charlie's eyes widened in glee. "That's a fantastic idea! First day and you’ll have already saved the company damsel in distress. You will be a hero."

 

Cas squinted his eyes at Charlie. "Is this a Clients From Hell situation?" Every company had one. Or ten.

 

“Is there a worse place than Hell? Because that would be closer to what you’re dealing with,” Kevin said with a groan.

 

Charlie threw her susuwatari at Kevin's head. It bounced off of his forehead and landed under a pile of boards. "No," she drawled. "He is _such_ a nice guy."

 

Cas knew she was lying. He plucked her plush toy from the floor and sighed. "Whatever, I mean, I have to start somewhere."

 

"That's the spirit," Charlie cheered as Cas handed it back to her by setting it on top of her screen again. “He’s on the sixth floor.”

 

“Should be six-six-six,” Kevin grumbled under his breath.

 

"It's good that you don't work in sales, Kevin," Cas snorted as he quickly replied to the email, telling the guy that he was on his way.

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: Re: HELP ASAP!_

 

_On my way!_

 

 _Castiel Novak_  
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5377_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

He grabbed his phone and emptied his coffee in one go before he asked, "So what level of knowledge am I working with?"

 

Kevin snorted into his cup of tea. “Can you imagine what would happen if you found a frozen neanderthal, thawed him, and placed him in front of a computer?”

 

Cas stared at Kevin for a moment as he shrugged his jacket on. "You're being hyperbolic, right? It can't be that bad?"

 

Kevin just quirked his brow at him, expression unreadable. Charlie merely offered him a sympathetic smile. “Like you said, you gotta start somewhere, right?” she said in a feigned hopeful tone.

 

"Yeah," he replied with a sarcastic nod. "It can only go uphill from the lowest point."  
  
Charlie gave him a thumbs up before he left the basement to go to the elevator. He had sworn to himself to make the best of his first day.

  
New city, new apartment, new job, new start. He wouldn't let his day get ruined. He was a professional... and how bad could this guy really be? He was sure the guys down stairs were just exaggerating. The man was head of marketing. He couldn't possibly be that bad.  
  
A tiny voice in his mind reminded him that he had probably experienced worse. It came with the job description.  
  
When the elevator stopped at the sixth floor, he walked down the clearly expensive carpet and searched for Dean Winchester’s office. He didn’t have to look long. It was the biggest one at the end of the hallway. He knocked on the door and heard a gruff,

 

“Come in.”

 

Taking a steeling breath, he opened the door and forced a half smile. All he was greeted with was the back of the man. He was staring out of his window, barking at whatever poor sap was on the other line. “I don’t give a shit what excuses he’s feeding you, Bela! He promised the analytics on the trends for business expansion for the Harvelles by noon and if he doesn’t, his excuse is irrelevant because he won’t have a job anymore. Uh, huh. Get it done.”

 

He ended the call on his bluetooth headset and finally turned around.

 

Cas raised an eyebrow in surprise when he was met by a rather handsome, freckled face with captivating green eyes – not at all how he had imagined Dean Winchester to look. He nodded and drew closer, extending his hand out in greeting. "We haven't met, yet. My name is Castiel Novak. New head of the IT department."

 

Dean took his hand and gave him a firm, brief handshake. “Dean Winchester. Director of marketing and about five seconds away from throwing the damn computer out of the window.”

 

Cas gave him a charming smile, hoping to get the guy to calm down as he rounded the man's desk to get to his computer. "I'll do my best to resolve this without bloodshed and murder. You said you lost–" Cas stopped talking the moment he saw the guy’s desktop. It was a disaster.

 

On a 4K screen the guy had managed to completely fill his desktop with files. The standard windows wallpaper wasn't even visible anymore. He swallowed down his shock before he opened the control panel and asked, "When did you start the security update?"

 

He knew from his predecessor that the new security update was uploaded on the server two weeks ago. Dean must have ignored the pop up request and accidentally pressed it in the middle of his work process. He probably also hadn't read that the update was prompting a reboot and just clicked it without saving his work. Although seeing his desktop now, he wondered how the guy found anything he was working on.

 

“I didn’t,” he growled as he folded his arms over his chest. “Stupid thing did it on its own.”

 

Cas frowned at him. "Okay... that's not possible. It's not an automatic process, that's why my predecessor wrote an email two weeks ago to inform everyone about the importance of this security update and the bugfix it was about. Can you tell me exactly what happened? Did the computer just reboot?"

 

Dean scoffed. “Well, maybe if your people did these stupid ass updates after hours, you know… when people _don’t_ need to use their computers, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. And yes. I was entering revenue numbers in a spreadsheet and it just shut down on me.”

 

Cas closed his eyes for a moment and counted to ten before he rubbed his fingers over his forehead and opened the recovery center, the task manager, and the explorer. He noticed immediately that the security update hadn't been touched and the computer was reacting incredibly slow.

 

Unable to hide the sigh, he said, "Okay, first of all, Mr. Winchester, the security update hasn't even been touched yet. It needs to manually be installed and the email two weeks ago should have informed you why it wasn't an automated process. Second, your computer shut down because your..." He cursed under his breath as he peeked at the running task before he continued, "PC's RAM is flooded and your drive is full. If you tell me the name of the file you were working on, I can try to recover it for you, but your PC needs an overhaul and... a virus check... What the hell! I haven't seen this task since 97'. Do you get a lot of dubious emails and click on the links in them?"

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Well, _Mr. Novak,”_ he practically spat, “I understood about every other word you just said and it’s no business of yours what I do with my emails. It’s the revenue for our biggest client, Roman Enterprises. The name of the sheet was Dick Money. So, do your job and find it.”

 

Everyone had a breaking point and Cas only had one coffee that morning, which was two coffees less than his usual consumption by this time of day. He stood up and raised his eyebrow at Dean. "It _is_ my business if you infect our network with viruses because you think you need a penis enlargement. And I need the file name. Not the content."

 

“Trust me, I don’t need a penis enlargement. And I have no idea. I get a lot of emails from a lot of people.”

 

Well, the guy obviously didn't have an ego problem. Cas sighed and started a search for files that were edited today. Windows was probably faster at getting him an answer he could work with than Dean. And that fact in and of itself was kind of sad. "Emails with just links for example. Pretending to be your bank, checking for account passwords. If you click these links, you infect your computer with viruses. Since your computer is way too slow, I suspect you installed a bunch of them without realizing." The search came to a stop and Cas raised his eyebrow again. "Is the file you worked on an excel file called dickmoney.xlsx by any chance?"

 

“That’s what I said. So you gonna fix it, or just lecture me the rest of the day?” he clipped as he sighed and started tossing and catching a baseball.

 

Cas cleared his throat and waved Dean over to his desk. "Let me show you something."

 

Dean quirked his brow and moved to stand beside him, bracing his palms on the desk as he leaned over. Far closer than he was used to from short-tempered and arrogant clients. Cas slowly slid further away from him, as he felt his body going tense from the proximity.

 

Dean shook his head and shrugged. “What the hell am I lookin’ at?”

 

"This is your desktop." Cas double clicked on the excel file on Dean's desktop from Hell, finding the recovery file had saved right next to it. "The file you were looking for was right on your desktop and see? Everything is still there because Excel makes a recovery file if the computer shuts down suddenly. So, next time, before you write a support request to IT, how about you just look where you save your files?" He rolled his eyes and got up, making his way to the other side of Dean's desk. "I'm getting you a replacement laptop from IT for the next couple of days. Please do me a favor and send me an email before you leave the office. I’ll grab your PC then and scrub it clean.”

 

“Hey!” Dean shook his head and moved to meet him on the other side of the desk. “Not all of us know shit like that, so how about you can the condescension?”

 

"Says the guy who yelled at me twice to do my job," Cas retorted with a glare. "I came up here to help you, and all I hear are accusations for problems you've created yourself." He took in a deep breath and continued, in a calm voice, "I get that IT isn't everyone’s forte, but if you have questions, you can ask me and I’ll try my best to explain them."

 

Fully anticipating another angry accusation, perhaps an expletive or two, he was entirely unprepared for Dean to sigh and relax his shoulders. “Alright. You might have a point, but don’t even pretend you didn’t freeze up in judgement when you saw my desktop. Already prepared to have to talk down to me like the idiot you think I am, based solely on the fact that I’m not a computer nerd.”

 

Cas held up his hands and chuckled. "Well, seeing your desktop was a shock, I admit." He looked up at Dean with another charming smile, hoping they could get on the right foot again. "Has anyone ever explained to you why you should clean up your desktop?"

 

He shook his head noncommittally. “I’m sure they’ve tried. It’s just… It’s easier to find everything on the desktop, just out in the open.”

 

_Well clearly it isn't, otherwise you would have found your file yourself._

 

He didn't say that out loud though, just went back to the computer and waved Dean over. He opened the system panel and pointed at the RAM on Dean's computer as he stood next to him. "Imagine this is the working part of a brain. Now, you have four gigabytes here and it isn't a lot. When you start your PC, you also start Windows and all the programs down here," he said as he pointed to the quick start menu, "and everything on your desktop also gets loaded into that tiny space. So the more you load into it, the less your computer has to work with. It's a little like me without coffee, alright? It just slows down." He closed the window and looked at the mess. "You can optimize your work process by taking all the files you don't need anymore and putting them into a folder, somewhere here." He showed him the other partition of the PC and where he could save his files. The data partition was (unsurprisingly) empty. He turned to Dean with a raised eyebrow. “Does that help?”

 

Dean’s brow was furrowed, and he stared at the computer for a moment before he asked, “How is moving it to another part of the computer any different? Same amount of space, right?”

 

Cas shook his head. "RAM and disk space are two different things. A bit like... your brain and your stomach, okay? RAM is your brain and disk space is your storeroom for pie." He opened the explorer to show him his two partitions. "See you have two different spaces to save data. C and D. You should save your work on D like data, alright? Because on C we have windows. If something happens to your computer, for example a virus attack, and we have to reinstall windows, all your data on C could get deleted. So it's very important that you seperate your data from windows."

 

With a deep sigh, Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and squinted his eyes at Cas. “Why doesn’t it just automatically go to the one with more space that can save everything?”

 

In his mind Cas just wanted to sit Dean down and comfort him for a moment, maybe offer him a nice cup of tea and tell him not to think about it anymore.

 

But instead he just calmly answered, "Because we don't live yet in a time where a computer can read our minds. I'm afraid until then, you have to tell it where you want to store your data... Don't worry though. Most programs remember the path. Once you start saving your files here on this disk, it will always go there by default." He looked up at Dean with a sympathetic smile. "If this is too much information for one day... like I said, I’ll grab your PC when you're done for today and then I’ll clean it. I'll help you."

 

Dean nodded and took a step back. “Yeah, alright. I’ll shoot you an email.”

 

Cas nodded and took a screenshot from Dean's task manager before he copied it into the network folder to work on it later. "Alright. Just one more thing. If there’s a pop up box in the right corner, reminding you of that update, don't click it. I'll update everything when I scrub that thing."

 

“I had no intention of it,” he said with a smirk as he sat down at his desk and leaned forward to grab his mouse.

 

Cas walked around the desk with a nod and to Dean’s office door. “Should there be anymore questions, you know where to find me.”

 

Dean looked up at him and feigned an innocent expression, the only thing ruining it was his arched eyebrow and crooked smile. Now that he thought about it, his expression wasn’t even close to innocent. “What? And _not_ put fear and dread in the hearts of all the tech elves when I email the group email thing?”

 

Cas bit his lower lip to keep himself from laughing. "Did you really just say group email thing? You're adorable. See you later." Cas winked before he left Dean's office with a grin.

 

The guy wasn't that bad. He had no idea what his colleagues’ problem was. Okay, well Dean was a little exhausting and a complete tech noob, but other than that… He had worked with…

 

He stopped himself. Not that he was superstitious, but he still didn’t need to jinx it. Probably best if he took heed of Charlie’s and Kevin’s opinion. He made his way back to the basement and returned to his desk with a long and deep sigh, ignoring the looks from his two work muppets.

 

“You’re back,” Charlie stated in surprise.

 

Kevin quirked his brow. “And not wearing iced coffee or in tears, so… he wasn’t there?”

 

"Your power of deduction lacks a certain faith in my abilities, Watson," Cas stated dryly as he opened the network and went over Dean's suspicious task manager entries. "He was there. And I solved his problem. You weren't kidding though... the guy is a disaster with his computer. I was close to bursting into that Enya song when I saw it."

 

Kevin and Charlie held hands and started swaying as they sang in unison, _“Who can say where the road goes…”_

 

Cas leaned back in his chair with a bright smile, watching them continue the song before he said, "Guys, I think I’m really gonna like it here."

 

And he meant it. Starting a new life always sucked, but for the first time he felt hopeful and good about it. Maybe here, two thousand miles away, he had finally managed to run away from his problems. Maybe this time everything would work out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 

* * *

_To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Hey RAMbo! Get it?_

 

_ Headin’ out. Come get her. _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Dean cracked his knuckles as he sank back against his chair after hitting send. Castiel was an interesting character. Any time one of the tech elves had to come to his office, they were in and out. Granted, Dean was a dick to them most of the time, but he hated feeling stupid, and computers made him feel stupid. And then someone who understands those things like their ABC’s comes in and makes him feel even dumber.

 

And he wasn’t really all that stupid. While he wasn’t as smart as his brother, Sam, he had it where he needed it and he could hang. He sighed as he thought back on the whole interaction. Castiel wasn’t at all scared to go head to head with him. Dean wasn’t sure if he liked or hated that about him. Time would tell. They’d likely either end up at each other’s throats or avoiding each other, but he braced himself for both. 

 

Bela poked her head into his office. “Henrikson finished the graphs you asked for.”

 

Finally! Some fucking good news. Dean nodded to her and waved his hand dismissively. “Alright, you get to keep your job another day.”

 

“Remind me to send a thank you card to your parents for bolstering and coddling you so much you actually believe you’re funny,” she returned with a patented bitch face. He had to give it to her, Bela even gave his brother a run for his money.

 

Dean gave her an over the top smile. “I think I’m adorable.”

 

Bela rolled her eyes. “I’m going home to drink and apply for other jobs.”

 

“You do that!” he called out as he pulled up his email to download the graphs Vic finished. Dean was going to have to buy him a good scotch for this. 

 

There was a knock on the open door and the new IT guy stood there with a smile, carrying one of the loaner laptops under his arm. "Hey there, is this a good time? You look like you're still working."

 

“Shit! Sorry, no I’m done.” Despite Castiel’s advice, Dean saved them to his desktop and moved to stand. He stepped away from the desk to let Castiel in.

 

The guy knelt behind his desk to pull out a transparent cable that he connected with the back of the laptop, before he vanished under Dean's desk again to plug in the power cable. "So, here’s the thing," he started as he came up again, "tomorrow, when you come in, you start the laptop here on the side. Just a quick press to this button and when you see the windows login screen, you will just do what you always do. Login with your password and username, alright? Everything will look like your PC, just a little smaller."

 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up, unable to mask how impressed he was by that. The last time IT had to take his computer, he was given a shitty blank laptop without any of his files. “Has the tech improved that much in the last two years?”

 

Castiel frowned as he came up again from his position behind Dean's desk where he had started to unplug Dean's computer. "Um, no, your company has been saving work profiles in the network for ages. Why?"

 

Dean let out a soft snicker and shook his head.  _ Unfrigginbelievable _ . “Looks like I got played. Tell your elves they won a round.”

 

"Elves?" Castiel chuckled and shook his head. "I only have muppets down there." He let out a soft groan as he lifted the huge black box part of the computer in his arms. "Would you get the door for me?"

 

Dean rolled his eyes and held his arms out expectantly. “I’ll carry it. You lead the way.”

 

For a moment Castiel looked perplexed. "It's... not your job."

 

“I’m not planning on trying to fix this. Pretty sure I can carry something to an elevator and another office.” Dean reached out and took the box, rather effortlessly, and he tried to not look smug about it. Tried being the operative word.

 

Castiel seemed to get over it pretty fast because he just shrugged and cleared his throat. "Alright, follow me.” 

 

He held the door open for Dean, and he nodded to him as he stepped through to the hallway. Castiel went to shut his door, and Dean furrowed his brow. “Wait, don’t you need to grab the monitor?”

 

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "Why? Is there a problem with it?"

 

“Yeah, you’re trying to fix my computer, right? Don’t you need  _ all _ of my computer?”

 

Castiel gave him another confused look. "Dean, you're carrying all of your computer... Oh." Castiel suddenly widened his eyes at Dean. "Um, you believe the monitor is part of your computer, don’t you?"

 

Dean repressed the urge to groan at himself. Here he was, yet again, looking like a grade A moron. He shook his head. “Alright, drop the act. If you’re gonna laugh, just do it.”

 

Instead of laughing his ass off though, Castiel gave him a long look before he shook his head. "You know how many icons there are on the web that use a monitor image to symbolize a computer? It's not an uncommon mistake.” He gave Dean a soft smile. “I work with people everyday who know as much as I do about IT. So sometimes it’s hard to get that something that is common knowledge for oneself isn’t obvious to other people. I bet there are a lot of things about your work that I wouldn’t understand.”

 

“Amazing,” Dean breathed out in exaggerated amazement.

 

"And yes..." Castiel grinned and rolled his eyes at Dean. "I'm laughing on the inside and trying to not let it show, because I'm a professional. But that was hilarious."

 

Dean nodded and smirked. “That’s more like it. I was about to accuse you of being a hippie undercover as a nerd.”

 

Castiel walked in front of him and pressed the elevator button when they reached the end of the hallway. The office was already empty and the deep blue night sky enveloped the huge glass windows. Another late night.

 

“No, I’m nerd through and through,” Castiel stated dryly, rocking back and forth on his dark converse shoes.

 

Man, the tech elves really had no sense of style. Dean quirked his brow and shrugged. “At least you’re not a hippie.”

 

“What‘s your problem with hippies?” Castiel asked as the elevator stopped and the doors slid open.

 

Dean stepped into the elevator and waited for Castiel to follow. “I’m a director of marketing in a city on par with places like New York and London, in which my sole purpose in life is to convince people to buy shit. Think hippies and someone like me get along?”

 

Castiel suddenly got quiet, but like he was far away, as he followed Dean and pressed the button for the basement. After a beat, he cleared his throat and said, "Yeah, I bet that's hard."

 

“Damnit, you  _ are _ a hippie, aren’t you?” Dean took a deep breath and recited, “On behalf of my mandatory sensitivity training provided by HR, I have to say I’m sorry if I offended you.”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes and glared at Dean. "Can it, Dean. I'm so not a hippie. Stop saying that."

 

As he leaned against the back wall of the elevator, he smirked. “So it’s, ‘Dean,’ now? What happened to, ‘Mr. Winchester’?”

 

Castiel smirked back at him. "I will be opening up and looking into your computer. I think we should go by first names."

 

“Shit. And how much will it cost to pretend you never saw my German dungeon porn?” Dean quipped with an eyebrow waggle.

 

For a moment, Cas looked pale. "Please tell me you don't have porn on a company computer."

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “Joke, dude. Besides, those sites are blocked.”

 

“There are other ways. You would be amazed what shit I have already seen in my career." Castiel rubbed the back of his neck. “So, do you always stay this late?"

 

“Do you always ask hypocritical questions?” The elevator dinged and the doors opened. He followed Castiel out and if he thought the upstairs floors were creepy at night, the basement looked like something out of a nineties slasher flick.

 

"Do you always answer a question with another question?" Castiel asked as he unlocked an office and flicked on the neon light, revealing a room with desks, that were piled with computer stuff. He pointed at a free space. "You can put it down there."

 

Dean shook his head in amazement as he placed it in a space that barely contained it without him accidentally moving other equipment. It looked like something out of a sci-fi movie and an episode of  _ Hoarders _ got together and made a Netflix original. “So, a cluttered virtual desktop is worth your scorn, but it’s okay for you guys to have  _ literal _ cluttered desktops.”

 

Castiel sighed and braced his hands on his hips. "It's my first day. Give me some time to work through the issues here."

 

“Fine, but I don’t want to hear a damn peep from any of you elves about my desktop ever again. Or I’ll take pictures and… what was it called? Dog shaming? I’ll do that to you. Only, you know, about your messy office.”

 

Castiel raised his eyebrow at Dean. "Well, you can try. One of my first tasks will be to get order in this chaos and then, when everything is cleaned up down here, your desktop will probably still look like a librarian vomited on your desk."

 

Dean folded his arms against his chest, enjoying this back and forth more than he normally would. Which was weird. “That doesn’t hurt my feelings. You get that, right?”

 

"Well, that wasn't my goal. My end game here is to have less work. So if you learn to keep your PC clean, I have more time for other projects."

 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t count on that,” he quipped. Dean snapped his fingers and clapped his right hand over his closed left fist. “So, uh… where’d you come from?”

 

"Is it the moment we play twenty questions?" Castiel asked with a dry smile as he led Dean out of the messy office. "I'm sure you want to go home."

 

Dean nodded.  _ Right. _ Message received loud and clear. “Well, have a good night.” Castiel kept keeping up with him, going head to head. He was starting to lean more towards not liking it. Dean turned and reached for the door handle to the stairwell. He wasn’t going to get gym time tonight, so six flights of stairs would have to suffice.

 

"Have a good night, too," Castiel replied softly before he added, "Dean? Um, it was nice meeting you."

 

Dean turned back and gave him an affirmative nod. “You too, Cas.”

 

“Cas?” Castiel asked with an amused smile.

 

“Would you prefer I called you Tee or El?” he challenged with a smirk.

 

Cas shuddered and shook his head. "Cas is fine. As long as you don't call me Cassie."

 

Dean snorted. “Sounds like Lassie. Should be a dog’s name. Not a nerd’s.”

 

Cas leaned against an office door. "And you would never doubt my whole nerdiness if you saw my apartment. Hippie…” he scoffed and changed course, “although it's more packed boxes at the moment, so that wouldn't prove anything."

 

Now  _ that _ was interesting. He was getting seriously mixed signals. Cas seemed to be doing a see-saw back and forth with whether or not he wanted to talk to Dean. It was starting to get hard to keep up with him and Dean definitely didn’t like that. “So, your place looks like your office. Yeah, never again about my desktop.”

 

“That wasn’t my office.“ Cas pointed to the other room. “That is our workshop.” He knocked against the door behind him. “This is my office. And no, it doesn’t look like my apartment, cause I share it with two nerd muppets.”

 

Dean smirked. “Bunsen and Beaker?”

 

“How did you know?” Cas chuckled.

 

“I’ve definitely seen a bald dude with glasses, but it was the petite redhead who speaks so fast she sounds like she’s squeaking the word, ‘meep,’ that gave it away.”

 

“Charlie and Kevin. They are actually pretty cool. Made me feel like family in the first five minutes. But I think that's an IT thing,” Cas replied with a smile that seemed reminiscent.

 

Dean nodded. “Right. And which one’s which?” he asked with a cocky grin.

 

Cas rolled his eyes, but Dean could see the amusement in them. “Charlie is Beaker.”

 

“Good to know.” Dean smiled and opened the stairwell door. “I better let you get to work. Last thing you want to deal with is more angry emails from the asshole in marketing demanding his computer.”

 

Cas looked down and licked over his lips. "Yeah, don't expect it back tomorrow. But you'll be fine with the laptop for a day."

 

“Better make sure she’s there and purring like a kitten by Wednesday. Remember, I know where you live now,” Dean said as he grabbed the door handle.

 

Cas shook his head playfully. "Tsk. I knew you guys upstairs thought we actually live here. Unbelievable."

 

Dean shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, well… which one of us is leaving?”

 

Cas chuckled. "Just another hour longer. First day and all. There is still a lot I need to work through. It's easier without the constant cries for help."

 

“Now I’m just tempted to shoot a service request to you before I leave.”

 

“Since you’re going home to the wife and kids, there is nothing I need to do about it today anyway,” Cas replied smoothly.

 

Dean couldn’t stop the bark of laughter. “You’re a really bad psychic.”

 

"A dog?" Cas asked, "a cat?"

 

“Black lab named Baby, and she’s the only woman in my life,” he returned.

 

Cas looked insecure. "Not sure if that’s a good thing..."

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Considering I bat for the other team, yeah. It’s a good thing.”

 

Cas didn't bat an eyelash before he amended, "So, home to the boyfriend and the dog, Baby, then?"

 

“Nice try, Casanova. Trying to ask if I’m seeing someone?” Dean teased. He was flattered, but… he would never fool around with someone from work. It was stupid to shit where you eat, no matter how blue the guy’s eyes were.

 

Cas's eyes widened in shock. "Um, no. Oh, god no, sorry, I was just being curious."

 

Dean let out a relieved laugh. “Alright. And to answer your question, no. Just Baby.”

 

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “Dogs are pretty cool. It’s nice to have someone all happy when you get home.”

 

“Boyfriends could technically provide the same service, but you can’t drop a boyfriend off at a kennel for the weekend.”

 

Cas was oddly quiet and tense then before he cleared his throat. "I shouldn't keep you from getting home to her then."

 

Dean nodded. There it was again. Pushing him out. “And I won’t keep you from whatever it is you elves do.”

 

"Work for the Christmas guy and tech support for the red nose reindeers," Cas replied dryly.

 

“Figured as much,” he said as he opened the door to the stairwell. Dean turned back to him and added, “Oh, and, uh… welcome to the family, Cas.”

 

Cas smiled up at him, a smile that made his eyes look even more blue. "Thank you, Dean. Have a nice evening."

 

He answered with a half smile and nod as he closed the door behind him. Dean sighed and chuckled to himself as he made his way back up to his office. Cas was a dorky little guy, but Dean had a feeling he would end up growing on him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 

It was already ten pm when Cas finally got home. He used that word loosely for any place his bed was kept. It was a big apartment, warm wooden floors and an open kitchenette. His sofa, TV, and game consoles were already set up, as well as his desk and PC. His bed... not so much. He had simply thrown his mattress on the floor, most of the boxes were still packed and piled in their respective corners and rooms, silently judging him for not unpacking them.  

 

Cas poured a water glass full of whiskey and sat down on his couch, starting Netflix as he took a huge gulp from his glass. He closed his eyes as he let the alcohol calm him down.

 

His phone rang, causing him to startle, his body tense as he pulled the phone from his pocket, relaxing slightly when he recognized the number. He picked it up and held it against his ear. “Anna…”

 

“Hey.” He hated hearing the pity in her voice. “How was your first day?”

 

Cas snorted. “No one wanted to sit with me at lunch. And I think my math teacher hates me.”

 

“Funny,” she replied dryly before she asked, “did you unpack?”

 

Cas rubbed his fingers over his forehead, taking another large sip from his whiskey. “Yep.”

 

His sister sighed deeply, and Cas knew she didn’t believe him. “You said you would try this time. You promised me. Come on, Cas, unpack at least one box.”

 

“Anna, I'm tired. I had a long first day.” The truth was that the conversation was making him tired. Repetition was boring, and they had the same talk every time he moved to a new place.

 

Anna’s voice sounded clipped, “Have you heard from him?”

 

Cas closed his eyes and sank deeper into his couch. “No… I guess he’s pissed at me… or maybe he's happy that I'm gone again. I don’t know.” 

 

He stood up and went over to his bedroom when Anna replied, “I'm worried about you. This is wearing you down, Cas. You can't go on like this. Can't you just come home?”

 

Cas pulled the phone away from his face and ended the call. He drank the rest of his whiskey in one go before he face planted his mattress.

 

_ Fuck everything. _

 

Tomorrow was another day. He would do his job and try to keep it as long as possible without letting anyone close to him.

 

Maybe he would unpack one box tomorrow. Or maybe not.

 

When the alarm from his phone went off, it didn’t feel like he had slept at all. He went through his morning routine in a daze; showering, putting on clothes, coffee and Cheerios, brushing his teeth before he took off, taking the bus to work. It was only three stops. 

 

He was the first one in the basement, so he just grabbed another coffee before he slid over to the workshop, starting to unscrew Dean’s tower to vacuum it, and gently clean the motherboard. When he was done cleaning, he carried it over to his office and plugged it in, starting the diagnosis. 

 

It was then that Charlie came in, looking as tired as he was feeling. She blinked owlishly at him and Cas couldn’t stop himself from reading her shirt.  _ I read your emails.  _

 

“Are you still here or did you come back?” she asked, slumping down in her chair.

 

“It feels like I stayed, but I'm pretty sure I was home at some point,” Cas murmured, starting to deep scan Dean’s PC for viruses.

 

“I know that feeling. I felt like that every day your position hadn’t been filled,” she explained, starting her computer as she put down her pink unicorn backpack.

 

_ Altered Carbon, _ his mind supplied.  _ Nice, I really like it here.  _

 

Cas cleared his throat before he looked at his screen again, trying not to think of how much he wanted to stay this time. But he knew it probably wasn't realistic. “Maybe you’ll change your mind about my position in a minute. I ordered boxes for the workshop. So our first project will be to clean that room and turn it into an efficient workspace.”

 

Charlie gave him a pained look. “But… it's a growing structure. I can’t find anything when we clean up and… A genius conquers chaos.”

 

Cas squinted his eyes at her. “The chaos has to go. Do you know how hard it is to explain the necessity of a clean desktop to a noob when our RL desks look like that?”

 

“I don’t get how it correlates. Those are two different things,” Charlie replied dryly.

 

_ “I _ know that, and _ you _ know that, but I’m trying to teach Dean Winchester something about PCs and this would help,” he explained, noticing (in horror) that Dean’s PC was infected with multiple viruses. How did that even happen? Did he close his antivirus program every time he started his computer?

 

Charlie chuckled suggestively as she moved to straddle her desk chair and leaned forward, giving him a pointed look. “So you want to clean our workspace to prove something to Dean Winchester?”

 

“Not to prove, but to make basics easier to understand.” Cas sipped his coffee before he leaned back in his chair. “My grandmother knows more about computers than he does.”

 

Not that he had a grandmother.

 

“That’s probably true. I have no idea how he made it through college,” she murmured as she started slowly spinning her chair.

 

“Or how he manages to work at all? Damn, look at this, Charlie! I haven't seen this virus since the nineties. Does he somehow close his antivirus program when he starts his computer? How is that even possible?” Cas complained. This was going to be a lot of work.

 

Charlie leaned in and let out a low whistle. “I’d blame porn, but I don’t think he’d know how to use a proxy to bypass the block.”

 

Cas snorted before he shook his head. “He installed them from spam emails. I'm sure of it. And he must have done it with his virus scanner closed.” Cas rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “He seems to ignore and hate update prompts, I’d bet my signed  _ Deadpool  _ poster that he just closes the virus scanner. How do I teach the guy not to do that? Has someone ever talked to him about it?” He knew he was rambling, he did that every time he felt tense. Usually working on a computer calmed him down, but his conversation with his sister still rang in his ears.

 

“Maybe we should just tell him if he doesn’t click on the updates, evil gnomes will come in the night to steal all of his work,” Kevin quipped as he leaned against the open doorway. 

 

Cas pursed his lips and nodded at the young man. “That’s actually not a bad idea and good morning to you, too.”

 

Kevin chuckled as he draped his jacket over the back of his chair. “So, how much pain are you in, right now? Dealing with Winchester’s mess of a PC?”

 

“I'm trying very hard not to cry.” Cas fake wiped tears from his eyes. “But I like the challenge. Speaking of challenges. You two will help me organize and clean the mess next door. We need a clean workspace.”

 

“Did you give him the genius chaos line?” Kevin asked Charlie.

 

She let out a deep sigh and nodded her head dejectedly. “He’s immune.”

 

Kevin groaned and dropped to his chair. “You know that even if we clean that space up, in two months it’ll go right back to chaos, right?”

 

“That’s why I ordered boxes for our department. We can sort the stuff that way we can be consistent.”

 

Both muppets grumbled and turned to face their computers, muttering under their breaths.

 

He shook his head in amusement before he remembered his conversation with Dean from last night. “So what's the deal with you guys never giving Dean a laptop where he can load his profile?”

 

Kevin laughed, and Charlie chewed on her lip before she confessed, “It’s just… it’s nice to go a few days without getting constant emails from him about when his computer will be back. We have a laptop that isn't connected to the intranet, so it's more complicated for him to write an email. We just usually give him a stick with his files, and he can't do a lot of damage."

 

"I see. I can't imagine how often you guys needed to reinstall Windows after him having it in his paws for a week." He got up and decided to get another round of coffee. "But anyway. I know clients like this are a pain in the ass, but it's still our job to provide them with an alternative they can work with. I'll talk to him, see if we can't find a way so he doesn't disrupt our work schedule that often. Who wants another coffee?"

 

Charlie raised her hand. “Me! I do!”

 

Cas grinned before he turned to his other muppet. "And you?"

 

“I’ll grab some tea later, thanks,” Kevin murmured as he was bent over, pulling a granola bar out of his backpack.

 

"Wow, you work on tea?" Cas asked in surprise. That probably explained the calmness that Kevin radiated. Like a fucking Buddha statue.

 

Kevin shrugged as he opened the granola bar. “Not a fan of coffee. Drank it too much in high school.”

 

Charlie snickered behind her screen. "There is no such thing as too much coffee."

 

"Ramen to that sister," Cas added before he waved at her. "Okay, I’ll get you your coffee with…”

 

"Milk and a lot of sugar."

 

Cas nodded and grabbed the door handle. "Sweet blonde. Got it. Oh, and, Charlie, would you make a backup and set up a new server, today?" He turned and looked over at Kevin. "And there was a new java update last night, Kevin."

 

“I’m on it,” he said as he turned to face his computer.

 

Cas left the office feeling good. Even though they were both still kids in his eyes, they were both brilliant at what they did and hard working. He knew he could count on them. At his last job he had a few guys with an ego problem and that hadn't worked out very well. At least here they seemed to be professional. 

 

He quickly took the flight of stairs and went out of the building to the coffee shop across the street. The company had a breakroom, but the coffee there was... not good. And that was the most diplomatic description he could muster about the coffee situation. 

 

Heavenly Coffee. That was the name of the coffee shop and the name wasn't exaggerated. It also didn’t hurt that the guy behind the counter looked like someone Cas would want for breakfast… and dinner. Longer, dark hair, rough stubble, intelligent blue eyes and a nice lithe body. 

 

He gave the guy a charming smile as he ordered his and Charlie’s drinks. The barista – his name tag said Inias – smiled back at him. “This is the second time I’ve seen you today.”

 

Cas shrugged. “I’m a coffee addict and the breakroom coffee… sucks.”  _ Fuck diplomacy. _

 

Inias chuckled and paused while writing his name on a cup. “Well, now I don’t feel special.”

 

"Okay, alright." He grinned and leaned against the counter. “Your coffee is not only heavenly, but it's also nice to be greeted by your lovely smile."

 

“Aren’t you smooth…” Inias smiled and waved the pen he was holding. “Wanna give me your name, handsome? You know. For the coffee.” He hadn’t asked for his name the first time he came in, but – in the cute guy’s defense – it was dead when he came in earlier. 

 

Cas looked around the shop, it was just as dead as it had been earlier.

 

"Castiel, or Cas for short," he replied with a nod to his name tag. "Seems like we were both named after an angel."

 

Inias hummed and smirked. “Does that make this destiny?”

 

"Depends, if you're looking for a destiny like in a romcom or an adventurous night with no strings attached," Cas replied with a calculated look.

 

After pouring his coffee in the cup, he picked it up again and wrote something else. Inias handed him his coffee and said, “I’ll see you next time.” He winked and turned his attention to the customer now standing behind Cas.

 

Cas looked down at the cup and Inias had written:

 

_ 555-6953 gimme a call if you still want an answer to that question. -Inias _

 

Cas grinned and watched Inias for a moment as he talked to other customers. He was exactly Cas's type of guy and he hoped he could persuade him for a fun night in bed. His original plan had been to be more careful with relationships that could get too close, but he was also just a guy. He missed sex.

 

When he left the coffee shop to return to the basement, he caught himself whistling the opening melody of  _ The Expanse. _ He noticed that he wasn't as tense anymore. The distraction was working.

 

He put the coffee in front of Charlie with a wide smile. She returned it before it turned sickly sweet. "Guess who got fan mail while he was away on a supply run?"

 

Cas couldn't help but chuckle. "Dean again? Any takers?"

 

Kevin snorted and barked, "Java update!"

 

Charlie gave him a fake sweet smile. "New server."

 

Cas chuckled and leaned back into his chair, opening his mail program to see what Dean needed this time. "Alright, alright. I got it."

 

* * *

_To: ITS Service Request <itservice_request@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Stupid laptop won’t print to printer_

 

_ What the subject says. I’m not repeating myself.  _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Cas snickered and took a sip from his coffee. "If I don't come back in thirty minutes, you know who murdered me."

 

He got up and took the cup with him. Cas was sure he would need it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 

Dean leaned back in his desk chair, glaring at the damn printer. He’d had a crappy night’s sleep, and he wasn’t in the mood for technology trying to fuck with his routine. Letting out an aggravated sigh, he grabbed his baseball and started tossing it in the air.

 

A knock came on the door and he barked a gruff, “Come in!”

 

The door opened enthusiastically as his buddy Benny strode in with a big smile on his face. "Guess who just got the Westminster accounts? I hope you’re free tonight, because we’re going out to celebrate."

 

Dean moved to stand, a mirrored grin on his face and reached out to shake his hand. “How’d you manage that? Seduce the widow?”

 

Benny took his hand, tight grip under strong fingers. "I pulled all the stops, Dean-o. I wanted that shit so bad. Maybe this’ll finally get me that damn promotion."

 

“I’d say you earned it, but you basically slept your way to the top,” he quipped as he waved for Benny to take a seat. 

 

Benny slumped down in the chair and drawled, "Speaking of fun times, what are your plans for tonight?"

 

Dean tossed Benny the baseball. “Probably whatever you force me into doing with you to celebrate.”

 

"I love that you’ve already folded and I don't even have to try. You're just playing coy, but you look like you’re itching to get out again," Benny replied, tossing the ball back to him.

 

He shrugged him off as he caught the ball. Staring at it for a moment, shaking his head, he replied, “Nah, not like that yet. But I could use a drink. The guys in copy are about to find out what a mass layoff looks like.”

 

"What's wrong, brother?" Benny asked after a moment. "What's really bugging you?"

 

It was five weeks before the anniversary. Some years it hit him earlier than others. Some years were harder than others. It was crawling up on the fourth year and it seemed to be hitting him harder than last year. Dean shrugged and forced a laugh. “Four years. I was just hopin’ it’d be easier.”

 

Benny nodded and gave him a soft smile. "Then distraction might be a good thing."

 

“I think so. So what’re you thinking? Strip club kind of sleazy?”

 

"Oh, hell yeah. I haven't been to one in... no wait... last week." Benny shrugged with a grin. It looked like he wanted to say something else when there was another knock on the door.  

 

Dean rolled his eyes and called out, “Come in!”

 

It was Cas, wearing a black leather jacket, a blue t-shirt with a Pac-Man on it, and a smile. "Got your SOS." He turned to Benny with a nod before he reached out his hand. "Hi, I'm Castiel Novak. Head of IT."

 

Benny smirked at he guy with his patented wolf grin. "Benny Lafitte, Sales."

 

Dean refrained from rolling his eyes at Benny and focused on Cas. “Yeah, I’ve got contracts to print and the stupid printer won’t work.”

 

Cas went over to the printer with a frown before he walked around it and knelt there for a moment, doing something. "Try it again, please," he murmured.

 

He shared a look with Benny as he pulled up the contract and hit print. The damn machine started printing. “Thanks, Cas.”

 

"No problem. The cleaning personnel might have unplugged it. They do that sometimes. Anything else? Laptop’s okay so far?"

 

Benny laughed outright, and Dean narrowed his eyes at him. He shook his head and focused on Cas. “Laptop’s fine.”

 

"Good." Cas smirked. "I talked to my coworkers about your profile today, and I wanted to make an appointment with you. Preferably before I give your computer back. Do you have time for a meeting this week?"

 

“Check in with Bela, she’ll know better than I will.”

 

Cas frowned at him before he shrugged. "Alright." He turned to Benny with a smirk. "It was nice meeting you."

 

"Likewise." Benny wolf-grinned in return, watching as Cas left the office again. When he turned around, he gave Dean an amused smirk. "New IT guy wants some private time with you, huh?

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Stop.”

 

Benny gave him a pitying look. "You're no fun, brother. And I'm saying this as your friend. But you seriously need to get laid."

 

“He seemed more interested in you,” he quipped.

 

"Or in the number on his coffee cup from that place across the street." Benny grinned and leaned forward. "Which tells me he’s single and obviously available. So, why don't you have fun for a change?"

 

Dean scoffed and grabbed the contracts off of the printer. “Even if he was interested, I’m not. And you gotta stop pushing, Ben. I’m not ready.”

 

"I'm not talking about diving into a new relationship, Dean. Just clean out the pipes. Live a little."

 

“I live plenty. Just drop it, or I won’t buy you a lap dance tonight.”

 

Benny lifted his hands in defense. "Alright, alright! I'm getting out of your face. But at least smile from time to time. Seriously, you're getting wrinkles from frowning so much."

 

“Actually smiling is what causes wrinkles. Ever seen a person who’s had botox? They ain’t smiling.” Dean winked at him as he grabbed some paperclips and a manila envelope.

 

Benny stood up from his chair and rolled his eyes. "You're a lost cause, but I love you no matter what. I’ll pick you up at nine."

 

“You do realize it’s a Tuesday night?” Dean instantly felt old for asking that question, but… he wasn’t in his twenties any longer. And he had to grow up pretty damn fast when he hit thirty. Weird thing to think you’ve been an adult for twelve years only to find out how wrong you were about that.

 

Benny rolled his eyes as he went over to the door. "Alright, I’ll grab you at eight. Don't say I never do anything for you, man."

 

Dean nodded to him and followed Benny out of the door as he stuffed the papers in the envelope. “Who else are you dragging along?” 

 

“A few guys from Sales... and Andrea wanted to come too, but... I don't want to drag her to a strip club with us. I mean, she said she would be cool with it, and she probably is..." Benny let that hang in the open before he shrugged. "So yeah, the usual crowd."

 

“I’ll text Andrea, convince her to come. That way I have someone fun to talk to. Torturing you is just a bonus,” Dean said with a smirk as he stopped in front of Bela’s desk.

 

“I hate you,” Benny retorted before he walked in the direction of his own office. "Be ready at eight," he yelled over his shoulder before he disappeared into his office, without waiting for an answer.

 

Dean dropped the envelope on Bela’s desk. “Get these to Gordon.”

 

Bela fixed him with a bored arched brow. She was filing her nails and didn’t stop. “Well, get your ass back in your office. You told me to pencil Novak in and your only available time slot is in…” She looked down at her iWatch. “Ten minutes. You’re booked the next two days.”

 

Dean took a deep breath and exhaled in a derisive snort. That wasn’t true, she was just trying to punish him for treating her like a damn secretary. Hence the nail filing. Last time he did that, she started acting like Allison from  _ Mad Men.  _ “If you’re pulling this bit again, at least use it to play dress up.”

 

“Get back in your office, Draper wannabe. You’re more like Sal, anyway.”

 

_ Damn.  _ He let out a surprised laugh and shook his head. “You’re lucky that was a decent reference. Otherwise, you’d end up in the same mandatory sensitivity training I had to go to.”

 

Bela gave him a falsely pleasant smile. “Anything else, Mr. Winchester?”

 

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, get that envelope to Gordon.” He ignored her annoyed smile and went back to his office. He wanted to fire Bela about five or ten times a day, but she was damn good at her job and knew how to use her appearance to keep some of their more skeevy clients happy.

 

He stepped back into his office and grabbed his cup of coffee, taking a sip before bracing his elbow against the window, staring out at the compacted and congested streets of downtown Seattle. Dean sighed and tried to not think about him. Benny meant well, but he really needed to ease up on the whole getting laid, moving on thing.

 

The whole point of moving on was to do it at your own pace, right? Dean didn’t see any point of it. Trying again. While he missed sex, he would eventually look into something, but for the time being, hooking up with a stranger once every couple of months was enough. He didn’t want (or need) anything more than that. 

 

A knock on the door ripped him out of his reverie. It was Cas, who gave him a smile when Dean invited him in, a smile that vanished immediately. "Are you okay?"

 

Dean nodded and moved to sit in his chair. “Yeah, just taking advantage of the little bit of time I had to myself,” he said with a chuckle.

 

Cas gave him a quick smile as he sat down on the other side of the desk, putting his coffee on Dean's desk. "I'm glad you could make this happen so quickly."

 

“That’s Bela fucking with me. But the sooner we do this, the better, right?”

 

"Yes," Cas replied hesitantly. "But if this is not a good time for you, we can reschedule."

 

Dean shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “Now’s fine, Cas. If it wasn’t, you’d have gotten a rescheduling request from Bela on behalf of Dom Draper.”

 

Cas gave him a confused expression. "Who is Dom Draper?"

 

“Forgot. Nerd. You probably only watch  _ The X-Files.  _ The show  _ Mad Men? _ Critically acclaimed?” Dean said with a chuckle. 

 

"Drama?" Cas asked hesitantly, barely hiding his disgust.

 

Dean grabbed a paperclip and threw it at his chest. “Don’t say it like that. It’s a good show.”

 

The disgust and skepticism was on full display as Cas nodded. “Yeah, um, whatever. So you’re probably wondering why I’m here, Dean.” He pulled a tablet out of his jacket pocket and slid his fingers over it.

 

“So it isn’t to insult my taste in TV?” Dean challenged with a smirk.

 

Cas returned the smirk for a moment, not looking up from his tablet, before he shook his head. "No, I'm here to talk with you about strategy and time management. I went over the statistics from just this year and you have over four hundred support requests more than everyone on this floor combined.” That was when Cas looked up and the smile on his face was gone. “I just came up here to plug in your printer. You can imagine that this is a situation that has to change.” 

 

Dean folded his arms against his chest and quirked his brow. “So basically, I’m being punished for annoying you? Is that what this is? Because I could think of better things you could be doing, like, oh… I don’t know… Fixing my computer?”

 

Cas leaned forward in the chair with a deep sigh. “I could also think of better things to be doing with my time than fixing your computer, which is just a tiny fraction of the things we’re doing down there, by the way.  I do system architecture, networking, and security.  I prevent cross-site scripting, I monitor for DDoS attacks, emergency database rollbacks, and faulty transaction handlings. Every minute, half a petabyte gets transferred over the internet, so you can surf through it, writing your emails and you can work from your bedroom if you wanted to. It's not magic, it's us IT guys working our asses off. People like me, ensuring your packets get delivered, un-sniffed. So yeah, still thinking that plugging in your printer is more important than me concentrating on my actual work, making sure that one bad config on one key component doesn't bankrupt the entire fucking company? I’m not here to punish you, Dean. I’m here to make a suggestion to clear up a situation that has become a problem for my department.”

 

_ Unbelievable. _ He’d never been talked to like this by one of the tech elves. Dean clicked his tongue and barked, “You think  _ I _ have all the time in the world, you think I fucking like having to stop mid job because of bullshit issues with the tech? I’m constantly on the clock, monitoring and analyzing trends, trying to stay ahead of the competitors to bring in profit. I have to constantly look at sales figures, assess marketplace standing, while sucking up to some of the biggest assholes in the universe. And if I didn’t do that, you wouldn’t be getting paid to do all the shit you techies do. So, why don’t you show me what I need to learn so we can stop wasting each other’s time?”

 

Apparently, the getting along thing was only going to be temporary. Dean knew that he and Cas would end up butting heads.

 

"Alright. Now we're getting somewhere," Cas replied before he stood up and rounded the desk, standing next to Dean. "I had an idea for the next few weeks of learning the basics, alright? So I let Charlie set up a server today where we store your profile separate from the others. Your computer was infected with seventy-five viruses and that is something we can't allow to keep happening. When you start your computer and you login, is there a pop up in the right corner down here that warns you about viruses?"

 

“No idea, a lot of shit pops up when I turn it on. I just hit the x.” 

 

Cas nodded and looked up at him. "Alright. Okay, This has to stop. You're not only actively destroying your computer if you close the virus program, but you're also infecting the network and other computers. So if you see a pop up from this program..." Cas hovered the mouse over an umbrella icon before he continued, "Don't close the program. Read the information and click okay the next time."

 

“That it?” Dean asked, unable to mask how annoyed he was.

 

"No, but it's a start," Cas murmured before he opened Dean's email program and clicked on the junk folder, which was full with mails. "These emails get filtered out from the system mostly, but there are still mails like this that find their way through." He clicked on one that looked like it was from his bank, telling him he should login to his account to confirm a transaction. "Like this mail. At first glance it looks like a serious mail from a respected company. Just that it's not. If you click on this link, you instantly install viruses on your computer without realizing it, or you just type in your account passwords and a hacker can steal your credit card information, for example. So if you get mails with links, never click them!”

 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and took a steadying breath. This was the last thing he needed to deal with. “I don’t know what crawled up your ass this morning, but I’m gonna go ahead and cut this meeting short. Come back when you don’t feel like bitching  _ at  _ me instead of talking  _ to  _ me.”

 

Cas stopped and gave him a confused look. "What?"

 

“You’re being a condescending dick, and I’m really not in the mood.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes and leaned back. "I'm not condescending. I'm trying to explain something to you. You're treating me like some cheap repair service, disrespecting my work and my department from the start, so excuse me for being annoyed with you. Especially since you seem to think you're my boss and I have to be at your beck and call twenty-four-seven. Because newsflash, I don’t. So, if you want to work this out, you should start with a little bit of respect.”

 

Dean licked his lips and exhaled through his nose. He tongued his cheek and shook his head slightly. “You might have a point, but I think I’m too annoyed to actively listen to you right now.”

 

"Alright." Cas looked away and shook his head, scrubbing his hand over his face. "I just... You’ll get your computer back tomorrow."

 

Cas left the office without saying another word, or even looking at him. 

 

After a few moments there was a quick knock and he came right back in, grabbing the coffee he had forgotten on Dean's desk. "Sorry, I forgot this. I'm... I'm off now."

 

“Look… don’t take it personal. This is a bad time of year for me.” Dean had no idea why he easily let that slip. He was usually more guarded. Hell, only three people in the whole company knew what happened. Benny, Bela, and his boss. And he really wished that asshole didn’t know. 

 

Cas looked away from him for a moment before he quietly said, "Alright. Well, when you feel better, you know where to find me. Maybe we can try this again and start on the right foot." He pinched the bridge of his nose before he looked up. "Look, Dean, I'm not the enemy here. I just want to help and do a good job for as long as I'm in Seattle."

 

Dean quirked his brow. “Not plannin’ on staying?”

 

Cas shrugged. "Haven't decided yet. I need to see how my life works out here first."

 

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “Well, make sure you hit up the mystery soda machine before you leave if it doesn’t work out.”

 

Cas tilted his head. “The what?”

 

“Exactly how it sounds. In Capitol Hill there’s an old vending machine, like one from the eighties, that dispenses random sodas no matter the button you press. Why visit the space needle or Pike’s Place, when you can hit up the mystery soda machine?”

 

"You're shitting me," Cas replied with wide eyes, a smile tugging at his lips.

 

Dean shook his head. “I shit you not. If you want, I’ll take you there before you move on to the next company.”

 

Cas looked down for a moment before he cleared his throat. "Yeah, that would be nice. The longest I stayed at a place was six months, so I guess I’ll see you then."

 

“If you make it to seven months, I’ll take you to the pinball museum. Nerds like stuff like that, right?” Dean smirked at him. 

 

Cas chuckled and looked up at him. "Yeah, nerds like that stuff. But seven months sounds like a long time to live out of boxes."

 

Dean shrugged. “Could always do this thing called unpacking. I hear it’s all the rage.”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose. "Yeah, no, not doing that." He gave Dean a quick smile. "So what should we do, Dean? Want me to reschedule until you feel better?"

 

“I dunno, it sounds like I have a time limit with you. And I doubt your replacement will try to help with lessons, or whatever it is you’re trying to do here.”

 

"I wouldn't call it lessons. More like optimizing yours and my respective work times. And you might be right. My replacement will probably get you a blank laptop every time you wreck your PC." Cas stepped closer to him, looking serious for a moment. "But if you say you have personal issues this time of the year, I'm the last person who wouldn't respect that."

 

Dean chuckled. “Fine. Then teach me, Yoda.”

 

"To do this today, are you sure you want?" Cas replied in Yoda-speak. 

 

Such a little nerdy guy. Dean rolled his eyes and nodded for Cas to come back to his side of the desk. “You know, Yoda, you’re shorter than I imagined.” 

 

"Not in every capacity," Cas replied smoothly as he rolled the other chair around the desk and sat down next to him, putting the now empty coffee cup on Dean's desk again.

 

Dean smirked. “If I called you cocky, would that be an awesome pun, or a terrible one?”

 

Cas was clearly undecided for a moment. "The jury is still out on that." He folded his fingers and cracked them before he looked at Dean. "Okay, show me what files you worked on today." 

 

Dean leaned forward to point at the monitor to the graphs he was comparing and contrasting, the contracts he printed that morning, and the database he was pulling numbers from. “These so far.”

 

Cas touched his mouse and their hands brushed over each other’s before he drew back again, murmuring, "Sorry, um. Can I?"

 

Scooting his chair back, Dean nodded. “Go for it.”

 

Cas navigated to the menu in the top left corner where it said "file" and then down to the point "save as". A window opened. "So this is what I was going to show you. Usually you save everything to the desktop, like you did with this file. The program you're using remembers the path where you saved your last work. But we want to get the desktop free of files because it makes your computer slow." Cas created a folder and named it “contracts” before he saved his file in there. "So obviously you can call this folder whatever the hell you want. The important thing is that all your data that you create doesn't get saved here on this disk, but on the other. Do you have any questions so far?"

 

Dean blinked and started to shake his head before he stopped. “What made you want to do this?”

 

Cas turned to him and the screen illuminated his already blue eyes in a bright way. "What?"

 

“Computer-y crap. What made you decide you wanted to spend the rest of your life fixing the internet or whatever shit you guys do.”

 

"Why did you want to do this boring marketing shit?" Cas replied with a shrug. It wasn't an answer.

 

Dean fixed him with an incredulous expression. “Because I’m fucking good at it. And I get paid well to charm people into doing what I want.”

 

Cas bit his lower lip and looked back at the screen. "Well, I'm good at this. I can lose myself in my work, forget about everything around me. And it pays really well."

 

Dean grabbed his coffee cup and held it up in salute. “To settling for what we’re good at.”

 

Cas chuckled and grabbed his empty cup to bump it against Dean's. "I'm not going to say, 'to settling,' ‘cause that’s depressing. But here’s to, ‘finding things we're good at'."

 

His eyes followed the trail of the note on the wannabe Starbucks cup. Dean waggled his eyebrows and nodded. “Inias, huh? Met a guy with a name almost as weird as yours and you’ve been here, what? Two days?”

 

Cas grinned as he looked at the cup. "Yeah, just my luck to meet a hot guy who also makes a great cup of coffee and we have our freakin’ angel names to bond over."

 

“Ah, that makes sense. So is it blasphemous that I call you Cas?” 

 

Cas turned the cup in his hand and smirked at Dean. "If that guy is interested in a casual, no strings attached situation, I bet I will blaspheme a lot more tonight."

 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up, and he pursed his lips, unable to hide how impressed he was. “If you need a wingman, feel free to take Benny off my hands.”

 

“Is he bothering you about getting out there?” Cas asked with a curious look.

 

“Yeah, he means well, but…” Dean shook his head and shrugged, brushing off those thoughts.

 

"You know for yourself when you're ready, Dean. Don't let other people push you into something just because they think they have it all figured out and think your way of coping isn't healthy or normal. You gotta do things at your own speed." Somehow Dean got the impression Cas wasn’t just talking about Dean’s coping mechanisms.

 

Dean chuckled. “You forgot to invert your sentences, Yoda.”

 

"Well, you're a terrible jedi." Cas shrugged with a wink.

 

“Alright, let’s cut the chit-chat so you can tell me why I shouldn’t help that Nigerian Prince.”

 

“Alright, back to spam.” Cas chuckled and opened Dean’s email program again. 

 

The laptop made a noise for a new incoming message with the subject line, “Re: Invoice.” Cas chuckled and hovered the mouse over it. "Okay, what do you think? Dangerous spam or something legit?"

 

Dean leaned forward and looked the email over. It had no weird links and was from Gordon’s address. “It’s legit.”

 

“Why do you think that? Did you send this… Gordon an email with the subject line: invoice?”

 

“Yeah, last week, see?” Dean leaned forward and pointed to the date.

 

“Good, now if you click on it, you’ll see that this was written by someone you know. Your original mail is even attached to it. See?” Cas hovered his finger over the area under his email and turned around to him. His knee accidentally bumping into Dean’s, but it didn’t seem like Cas noticed, even when it stayed pressed lightly against him. 

 

“Now the tricky part is that spam mails use a lot of those indicators to look like a legit mail. The subject line for example often starts with the, ‘re,’ so it looks like the sender had just replied to your email. Ask yourself if you really did send a mail with that subject line to the person who is responding. It gets really evil when the mail appears to be from someone in your address book. Viruses and Malware steal information from your address book and appear as those people to lure you to click on links or open archives that they sent to you. So don't open it unless you're one hundred percent sure it is a file you're waiting for.” Cas gave him a soft look. “You still with me? I know it sounds like a lot.”

 

Dean nodded his understanding, but he wasn’t really still with him. He was getting about every other word and while he would try to pay closer attention, he was a busy man and there was no way in Hell he was planning on having to Sherlock his way through every damn email. 

 

“It's not as complicated as it sounds. Rule of thumb, if you don’t know the guy who sent you something and the content is full of grammar and spelling mistakes, and a link for you to click, that mail goes into the trash.” Cas patted Dean’s shoulder. “And I think we’ll leave it at that and see how it goes over the next few days.”

 

“You know I’m not uneducated, right? I just never got computers.” Dean sighed and nodded. He had no idea why he was even trying to justify himself to a guy who probably wouldn’t be around next quarter. “I’ll wait for your next lesson, Yoda.”

 

“Dean.” It was weird how much meaning Cas could put in the way he pronounced Dean’s name. “I know you're not stupid. But I'm also aware that the things I'm trying to teach you sound like a different language and how frustrating that can be. So, how about we call it a day? I'll bring up your computer in the early morning, and I cleaned your C disk of all data because I had to reinstall windows. All your files are on a backup disk, and I'm going to put it into a structure that makes sense to work with. I’ll show you tomorrow where to save your work again, so you'll get used to it, alright?”

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

 

“You look very tired,” Cas remarked quietly. It almost sounded like he was worried about him.

 

He couldn’t put his finger on what Cas’s deal was. Dean snorted and shook his head. “You see, I’m thinkin’ more and more that you actually are a hippie.”

 

Cas let his forehead fall on Dean’s desk with a loud, whiny sigh. “Why?”

 

Dean chuckled and pulled his head up by a gentle grasp in his hair. “‘Cause you’re being all touchy feely, sayin’ chick-flick type shit like: ‘You look tired’.”

 

Cas shot him an almost predatory look. ”You're into pulling hair? How’s that for not being a hippie? Seriously, I'm like the farthest thing you can be from a hippie. I don’t even believe in love.”

 

“Hippies can like hair pulling, I’m guessing. But not believing in love… That’s pretty non-hippie.” Dean shrugged. “Wish I didn’t.”

 

"Maybe you're the hippie then," Cas retorted.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Thinking love exists doesn’t make me a hippie, it makes me a sucker.”

 

Cas looked away from him. His voice was quiet. "Is that the reason why this is a bad time for you?"

 

“Don’t you think that’s a personal question considering you don’t plan on being here in six months?” Dean challenged with a half smirk, hoping he would take the bait, because he really didn’t want to talk about that. Not with a guy he barely knew.

 

"Sorry, you're right." Cas gave him a little smile before he grabbed his coffee cup and stood up. "Okay. If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to call or write."

 

Dean nodded and smirked. “But you know, if that changes, if you decide to stick around and find you’re just dying to know my backstory, you know where I am.” His smirk turned into a smile. “See you later.” 

 

Cas shook his head and walked to the door, not looking at Dean. "I try to avoid getting to know people, so that's probably not going to happen. But thank you."

 

Man, this guy had the weird and mysterious thing down pat. Dean shrugged and gave him a genuine half smile. “Well, as an offer strictly as a single-serving friend, if you want to go to the mystery soda machine, I’ll still take you.” Dean raised his hands in surrender. “No strings attached.”

 

Cas turned around with a surprised smile. "Thanks, that's... actually very nice of you. Usually people give me a, 'fuck you,' by now."

 

“Why? ‘Cause you don’t want to be my friend? I promise, despite the arrogance, I’m not Dorian Gray.”

 

Cas shook his head and gave him another smile. "No, it's just... people always expect things, you know? They share their life stories and everything, and expect you to do it too. Relationships aren't one way streets. And I can't do that. So I keep my distance. It's nothing personal, I just don't want people to be disappointed with me, so I’d rather be upfront about it."

 

Dean let out a soft huff of surprise. “That was pretty honest, Cas.”

 

"Don't sound so surprised," Cas replied, sounding annoyed.

 

_ Wow. _ And Dean thought he was bad. He folded his arms over his chest and sank back in his chair. “And I wasn’t insulting you.”

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head. "Damn, I think we will probably butt heads pretty often while I'm here."

 

“Especially if you keep my computer any longer. Off you go, Kitten. Get back to work,” he said with a wink.

 

Cas purred at him before he winked back and left his office with a chuckle.

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. Unfrigginbelievable. The damn smile stuck around for about an hour. Until Bela asked what was wrong with his face and he told her to make copies. Which meant the  _ Mad Men _ act would last an extra week. But it was worth it. He needed to snap out of it anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised to include the first piece of gorgeous art!! Eeeeek! Shower our awesome artist with LURRRVVVVEEE!!

**Chapter 5**

 

Cas needed all day to finish up Dean's computer, constantly being interrupted by other responsibilities, and by chatting with his muppets when they got into a heated discussion about the final episode of _Battlestar Galactica._

 

He quickly checked his clock. When both of them said their goodbyes at the end of the day, Cas decided he would leave a little bit earlier today too. On the other hand…

 

He glanced at the empty coffee cup that he had carried around all day and smiled before he pulled out his phone. A part of him still screamed not to do it, that it could get messy, and he wanted to keep the place as his coffee dealer. But then his self-destructive and sabotaging voice was so much louder.

 

So he dialed the number.

 

“Hello?” Inias answered after two rings.

 

"Hey, Inias. It's me, Cas." He had no idea why his heart suddenly started to beat so fast. Maybe he was just out of practice.

 

That was met with a warm chuckle. “My angel friend from earlier. Wondered if you were ever gonna call.”

 

"Yeah, I have crazy long work hours, but I couldn't stop wondering all day what your answer would be," Cas practically purred in the phone.

 

Without missing a beat, Inias replied coolly, “Well, considering you practically picked me up not knowing more than what my name tag says and that I’m a barista, you clearly only want one answer. And you seem like you’d be a good lay.”

 

Cas tried to not make a fist pump and jump up and down in his office. But he did in his head. "Perfect. You want to see my super new apartment full of unpacked boxes? I could pick you up."

 

Inias chuckled. “Sure. I’ll text you my address.”

 

"Does in an hour work for you?" Cas asked, feeling excited as he shut down all the servers and searched for his keys to lock up the office.

 

“Sure. Gives me time to prep.”

 

 _Don't make me fall in love with you._ He chuckled and rolled his eyes over his own thought.  "Fuck, yes. Can't wait to see you."

 

“See you soon, angel.”

 

Cas quickly ended the call and locked up the office. On his way home he picked up some snacks and drinks, and unloaded everything in the kitchen before he took a quick shower and changed into different clothes. He chose his N7 t-shirt because this night would hopefully be epic and adventurous, and it was one of the only geek shirts in his wardrobe that showed off his body.

 

A quick check in the mirror told him that his hair was a mess… again, and his attempt to at least straighten it a bit failed epically because his hair obeyed a different law of gravity. It was just something he had to accept.

 

He grabbed his car keys from the kitchen counter and checked his phone for Inias's address, noticing that it wasn’t that far away when he searched for it in google maps. He sighed deeply as he looked up. His bed frame was still leaning against the wall, determinedly not being assembled yet. _Whatever_ , Inias sounded pretty laid back.

 

Cas left his apartment, unlocking his minivan that was still parked right in front of the building. It was weird to sit in it again after the long drive a few days ago from New York to Seattle. He didn’t like driving that much, but it was nice to know the van was there so he could use it to escape again, if he felt the need to.

 

The drive to Inias was only ten minutes, but he was still a little late. When he left the car, his heart was racing again, and he felt stupid, trying to calm himself down. It was just sex. No strings attached. The guy was obviously cool with it.

 

And still Cas felt tense as he walked up to the door of the apartment building, searching for Inias's name.

 

His hand was shaking when he pressed it and consciously breathed out to calm himself down. His mind occupied with talking himself away from the ledge of an upcoming wave of panic.

 

The buzzer went off and the automatic door unlocked. That’s when he heard Inias call out over the intercom, “Come up, I’m running a little behind schedule.”

 

At least him arriving late didn't seem to be a problem. He knew his heart was beating faster now with the prospect of having sex and not because of his anxiety. So he grinned as he pushed the door open and quickly ascended the stairs, finding an open door on the third floor.

 

When he reached the doorway, he swallowed dryly at the sight before him. Inias was standing in his living room, holding a pretty obvious purple bottle and a buttplug, completely naked. He smirked when he saw Cas. “Got sidetracked talkin’ to my brother on the phone. Figured you wouldn’t mind waiting a couple minutes.”

 

Cas closed the door behind him and walked up to Inias, taking in his perfect body with a long, appreciative look. “Man, I wouldn’t mind waiting even longer for you. But if you want to, I can prep you.”

 

Inias's lips curled up in a hungry smile. “Much better idea.” He wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and licked along Cas’s bottom lip. “Any location preference? Bed? Couch? Kitchen counter?”

 

"You wanna stay here?" he murmured, biting softly at Inias's lips.

 

“Well,” he breathed out, arching his hips up and against Cas, grinding his erection against Cas’s jeans, “I figured since you want this to be a no strings deal, probably best I don’t know where you live.”

 

It would make things easier, but the way Inias was dealing with this already made him feel incredibly good and calm about the situation. "That's alright," he groaned out, grabbing a handful of his firm, naked ass and kneading it. "You seem to be a pretty cool guy. I just didn't want to give you the wrong impression." He walked him back against the couch, rubbing his thumb roughly over the man's lips. "Bend over the couch."

 

Inias sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down as he nodded. He pulled away and spun around, spreading his legs as he leaned over the back of the couch. “You’re cute. Thinking people fall in love with you right away or something.”

 

Cas snorted and started massaging Inias's ass, spreading his cheeks to look at his pretty hole. "That's not it. Believe me. But some people get weirdly attached after sex and start to ask questions. And I just don't want that." He grabbed the lube from Inias's hand, but didn't use it yet, instead he leaned over and started teasing him with his tongue.

 

Inias groaned and bucked into it. “Only question I’ll ever ask is if you maybe want to grab some chinese after to give us the energy for another couple rounds.”

 

"Damn, you're perfect," Cas moaned against his hole, licking into it. Meeting Inias felt like winning the lottery.

 

“Shit, you’re good at that,” Inias half moaned as he started rocking against his tongue.

 

Cas smiled and licked deeper into him before he blindly opened the lube and poured it on his fingers. "I love doing this," he murmured before he started to work a finger into Inias. "And you sound sexy when you moan."

 

“Just wait until you fuck me, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet,” he breathed out in between moans as he tried to fuck himself on Cas’s finger.

 

Cas started to work a second finger into him, scissoring him before he searched for the guy’s magic spot. He was rewarded with a beautiful moan when he found it. "Fuck, I love how tight and hot you are. Can't wait to fuck you."

 

“There’s condoms in the jar on the shelf behind you.” Inias whimpered as he started undulating his hips, desperately trying to get Cas’s fingers against his spot again.

 

Cas looked over his shoulder and pulled out his fingers, lightly slapping Inias's ass. "Stay just like this."

 

He quickly pulled off his shirt and opened his jeans as he went over to the jar and grabbed a condom before he returned to Inias's waiting hole. He put the condom on the sofa before he spread more lube on his fingers. "You gotta take one more finger before I take you, sexy," he groaned as he worked his fingers inside of Inias again, this time immediately teasing his prostate.

 

Inias cried out as he almost thrashed against the couch to chase the sensation. “Oh, fuck, fuck…”

 

Cas's cock was throbbing against his jeans just from listening to Inias, so he quickly pulled them and his boxers down with his free hand, all while fucking Inias harder with his three fingers.

 

“Come on, I’m ready,” he groaned.

 

"For what?" Cas grinned as he fucked him harder with his fingers, teasing Inias's hole with a fourth finger.

 

“For you to stop being a goddamn tease and fuck me already,” he growled. “The really good Chinese place closes at eight.”

 

Cas couldn't help but chuckle. He really liked Inias. Bossy little bottom. He pulled out his fingers and ripped open the condom, groaning when he pulled it over his hard dick. He spread lube over it with one hand, teasing Inias hole with the other before he lined himself up and pushed inside, grabbing both sides of the guy's lean hips. Damn, Inias was tight, and Cas was pretty damn sure the guy wasn't inexperienced with casual sex. "Fuck," he cursed as he bottomed out, taking a moment before he started to fuck Inias. He didn't go slow. He got a feeling the guy liked it rough.

 

“Pull my hair,” he begged as he started thrusting back against him.

 

Cas slid his palm over Inias's back before he buried his fingers into Inias's hair and pulled him upright, his other hand snaking around his body to pinch his nipple. "Fuck, I'm gonna wreck your hole tonight, baby. Gonna fuck you on every surface here."

 

Inias let out a chuckle that quickly became a needy moan. “Put up or shut up.”

 

Cas pushed Inias's head down against the couch and angled his ass so he could fuck him deeper, using his other hand to tease his leaking cock. Fuck, the guy was perfect. "You gonna come on my cock, like a good little cockslut?" He asked with a smirk, hammering into him, slamming against the guy's prostate with every thrust.

 

Inias cried out an ardent, “Yes!” Bucking against him almost wildly, knuckles white from how hard he gripped the couch for purchase.

 

 _Dirty talk, check._ Cas grinned as he teased Inias's balls, biting down hard on his lower lip so he wouldn't come. "Yes, let me hear you. Come on, show me how much your needy hole needs to get fucked."

 

Inias was whimpering and groaning. “Fuck me as hard as you would’ve over the counter at work. Make me scream your name,” he begged.

 

"Fuck," Cas cursed before he pulled the guy up from how he was bent over the couch. Before Inias could complain that he had stopped and pulled out, Cas drew him into a rough kiss, biting at the guy's lips and lifting him up into his arms, carrying him over to the kitchen counter.

 

He let Inias down and turned him around, crowding him against the counter, grabbing the guy’s cock in his hand and stroking him as he growled, "This what you want?" He pressed Inias's torso against the counter, bending him over before he pushed into his tight hole again. "For me to fuck you like my little cockslut, on your counter at work?" He wasn’t gentle as started to slam fuck Inias before he continued, "Letting everyone see how you get your needy hole stuffed with cock?" He accentuated every word with a hard and deep thrust.

 

“Yes, yes, fuck yes!” Inias cried out as he slammed himself back to meet Cas’s bruising pace before suddenly he was clenching around him. Inias moaned outright as he painted the counter with his come.

 

Cas gasped when the tightness pushed him into orgasm too. He roughly grabbed Inias's hips, pushing in as deep as he could, filling the condom with a deep groan.

 

“Fuck,” he breathed out, trying to get his breathing under control as he pulled out of Inias. He wrapped an arm around Inias to draw him close and turn him around, burying his fingers into his longer, shaggy hair and kissing him gently. “I hope you're up for a lot more sex, because you're perfect.”

 

Inias let out an exhausted chuckle. “Well, considering I was right about you being a good lay, I’m definitely down for it. But… Chinese first. I need some protein after that.”

 

Cas gave Inias a bright smile before he kissed him again. He enjoyed kissing because it gave him the illusion of an intimacy and closeness he couldn’t afford in his life. It also didn’t hurt that Inias was an excellent kisser.

 

He stripped off the condom and tied it up before Inias took it from him and threw it in the trash. Inias grabbed a towel to clean off the come from his dick and kitchen counter.

 

“How far is that chinese place?” Cas asked as he pulled up his pants, admiring Inias's ass before the guy put some pants on.

 

“About a block away, it’ll be easier to walk it than trying to find parking,” he said as he grabbed a bottle of water from his counter and took a swig. Inias wiped his chin with the back of his hand and held the bottle towards Cas. “And I promise, it’s worth it.”

 

Cas took a large swig from the bottle and handed it back with a charming smile. “Even if not, you’re already making it worth it.”

 

Inias grinned and chuckled. “So, when you said a lot more sex, did you mean tonight or…” he let the question dangle between them.

 

“This doesn’t have to be a one night thing.” He would be stupid to let Inias slip away. He was perfect, laid back and everything he wanted in the sack. “We can do this as long as you want to… or until I have to leave town again.”

 

“So, one night stand with benefits?” he asked with a teasing smile.

 

Cas chuckled and drew Inias closer, leaning in to kiss him behind his ear. "Exactly. What do you think?"

 

“Sounds good to me,” he purred as he trailed his tongue down Cas’s neck.

 

Cas growled and pulled at Inias's hair to get him into a nice position for another deep kiss. "Seriously, I love how pliant you are," he breathed out as he leaned back to look at the other man. "If you tell me about your kinks, I can make this a lot better for you."

 

Inias quirked his brow and smirked. “It’s no fun if I have to tell you.”

 

Cas chuckled and pulled him close for another kiss. “I see, you like getting explored and to be taken apart.”

 

Inias waggled his eyebrows. “Maybe,” he teased.

 

Cas carded his fingers through Inias's hair before he growled, "Okay, get ready so we can go. You’ll need the energy when I fuck you against the wall when we come back."

 

Inias leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Make yourself at home, I’m just gonna clean up real quick and get dressed.”

 

Cas used the opportunity to softly pinch Inias's ass with an innocent look on his face before he sat down on his couch and waited for the guy to be ready. There was a short moment where he thought about looking through Inias's DVD and CD collection, but then he decided to read through some work related articles on his phone instead. It was better not to get invested. Who knew how long they would have sex? Maybe Inias would get weird tomorrow and this would stay a one time thing. Sometimes those things happened. And that was okay.

 

He just hoped he would get to keep Inias for a while because he seemed pretty damn perfect in a lot of ways. He didn't ask questions, or appeared to be clingy. He was an awesome kisser and the best part, he loved to be dominated. It was hard to find all those qualities in someone who didn't want to get romantically attached.

 

After ten minutes he came out of, what Cas assumed was a bedroom, fully clothed in a form fitting _Deadpool_ t-shirt and jeans. He leaned over the back of his couch, gently turning Cas’s head up to press a brief yet needy kiss to his lips. “Come on, I’m hungry.”

 

Cas cleared his throat as he got up and took in his appearance. "Fuck, can you get any more perfect?"

 

“Probably? But that’s crossing the getting to know each other line,” he quipped with a wink.

 

Cas wrapped his arm around Inias and pulled him closer. "See? And that's what makes you as perfect as it gets. But the _Deadpool_ shirt certainly is the cherry on top."

 

Inias shrugged. “What can I say? A snarky, foul-mouthed, pansexual anti-hero played by Ryan Reynolds? Pretty sure he’s everyone’s dream hook up. Even lesbians.”

 

"That was a very accurate description." Cas grinned and winked as he grabbed Inias's hand and intertwined their fingers before they left his apartment.

 

As they reached the street, Inias curled into Cas, making it a little difficult to walk, but rather cozy apart from that. “So, can I ask when you’re leaving Seattle? Or does that count as too personal?”

 

Cas shook his head. "I don't know, yet. I usually stay like six months. I hope this time it'll be longer. I like this new job. They pay pretty well." He squeezed Inias's hand before he gave him a soft smile. "And you can ask me stuff. Just not like... I don't know, personal crap."

 

Inias smiled and nodded. “Good to know. So what do you do?”

 

"I'm the head of the IT department at Smith and Wesson." Cas grinned, enjoying how close Inias was walking. It was nice to pretend he could have an actual boyfriend. “And yes, it is as nerdy as it sounds."

 

“So, if I called you Jen?” Inias chuckled as he urged Cas to turn left at the end of the street.

 

Cas laughed and shook his head. "No, I'm more like Roy... Minus the Irish accent."

 

Inias pouted. “Well, now I’m sad.”

 

Cas tickled his side and leaned in for a playful kiss. "I'll make it up to you."

 

“Could just always speak in an Irish accent. That’s all I’ll need,” he murmured, chuckling lightly as he playfully pushed Cas away.

 

"I can only do a Russian accent," Cas replied in a horrible Russian accent.

 

Inias shook his head and laughed. “No. Just no.”

 

He then changed into a totally made up accent that sounded like a mix between an Indian and Russian accent, as he wrapped his arm playfully around him. "What is it? Is this accent not sexy enough?"

 

Inias snorted and shook his head even more emphatically. “You’re getting less and less sexy. Keep it up.”

 

"You, on the other hand, are cute when you laugh," Cas replied with a smile, reverting back to his normal voice.

 

“You like my laugh, you like my moans. I wonder what else you like?”

 

Cas gave him a teasing smile. "I'm sure you will find out pretty soon." It had been quite a while since he had so much fun with someone. Inias made it very easy for him.

 

Inias quirked his brow. “If you were any more mysterious, I’m pretty sure you’d be twirling a handlebar mustache.”

 

"Do you want me to spoil the fun?" Cas replied, quirking his eyebrow back at him.

 

“Not even a little bit,” he murmured as he leaned in and playfully bit his earlobe.

 

Cas pulled him closer and grabbed Inias's chin to pull him into a deep, breathless kiss before murmuring against his lips, "Stop teasing me. It's difficult to walk with a hard on."

 

Inias chuckled and shook his head. “Already? I’m gonna be sore tomorrow, aren’t I?”

 

Cas grabbed Inias's ass and patted it. "Do you want me to go easy on you? Fuck you nice and gentle?"

 

“I don’t think you could even if I wanted it,” he returned as he nudged Cas to take a left.

 

Cas gave him a surprised look. "No, I can. I actually like to fuck slow from time to time. Dragging it out, you know."

 

Inias shrugged noncommittally. “Let’s see how the night goes.”

 

Cas rubbed his hand over Inias's hip and gave him a smile. "The fucking you against the wall though... that is going to happen the minute we get back."

 

“Not even gonna let me eat first?” Inias slowly pulled up his shirt and patted his stomach before letting his fingers sensually travel down to the hem of his jeans.

 

Cas licked over his suddenly too dry lips and hummed, "Yeah, not if you continue to tease me like that. Sorry, I think you have to starve."

 

Inias smirked. “Man am I glad you came in today and not the skeezy bald guy.”

 

“What skeezy bald guy?” Cas asked with a confused head tilt. There was a weird spark of possessiveness that he ignored.

 

“He works at your company too. Older white guy, hits on me all the time,” he said with a shudder.

 

"Zachariah Fuller?" He was the only creepy bald guy Cas knew from the company. The guy was the head of legal.

 

Inias nodded. “I think that’s him.”

 

Cas pulled him a bit closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "If he bothers you, tell him you already have a boyfriend."

 

“Oh, I do tell him that. His response is usually, ‘bet he can’t buy you nice things like I could.’” Inias shrugged. “Comes with the territory though. Baristas probably get hit on as much as waitresses.”

 

Cas rubbed his thumb over Inias's lips. "Especially when they are as sexy as you are." He shook his head. "Tell him you're my boyfriend. And if he bothers you again, I’ll have a talk with him."

 

Inias's eyebrows shot up. “And what do I tell him after you leave?”

 

Cas chuckled and shrugged. "It's a long-distance relationship and we're planning on getting married as soon as I work in the area again."

 

Inias barked out a laugh and shook his head. “Sadly, I doubt any of that will stop him. It didn’t when one of your coworkers offered me the same deal.”

 

"Someone you've been with?" he asked quietly.

 

“I wish,” he breathed out with a laugh. “Every time he comes in, all the girls fall all over themselves. Your company has some weirdly attractive men,” Inias said as he pointedly looked at Cas with a small smile.

 

Cas chuckled and carded his fingers through Inias's hair. "As long as I'm here, I’ll do my best to protect you from that creep. I know I don't look like it, but I can be intimidating if I want to." He pressed another kiss to Inias's cheek. "So who’s the heartbreaker from my company?"

 

Inias ducked his gaze, clearly trying to hide the blush. He shook his head and shrugged. “Think his name’s Dean. He rarely ever buys for himself, but Hannah, one of the supervisors, caught a sight of his ID badge once.”

 

Cas grinned knowingly. "Freckled face, green eyes, cute smile and short hair?"

 

“That’s the guy. The girl’s switch off which one of them will be brave enough to ask him out, but they all chicken out. That’s been going on for over a year now.”

 

Cas pulled Inias closer again and grinned. "They won't have a chance with him. Dean Winchester is totally gay."

 

Inias's eyes widened and he laughed. “No. Seriously? My gaydar _sucks.”_

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head. "I was surprised too. He looks more like a womanizer to me, with his expensive suits and the brooding and all."

 

“Seriously.” Inias smirked at him and let out a soft, breathy laugh. “So, how do _you_ know he’s gay?”

 

"He told me actually, when I met him." He nudged his nose behind Inias's ear, kissing him there. He couldn't get enough of the guy and couldn't wait to get him naked again. "He’s a bit of a pain in the ass to work with, but otherwise kind of nice... I guess."

 

Inias chuckled fondly as he gently pushed Cas back. “You keep distracting me from Chinese food.” He grabbed Cas’s hand and held it as he started pulling him down the street. “Come on.”

 

"Sorry, you're right." Cas grinned as he walked a little faster. "But you're very irresistible."

 

“Said the walking sex god.” As they reached the entrance for a tiny, hole in the wall, Mom N’ Pop Chinese food place, Inias pulled Cas close and breathed against his lips, “Buy me a mooncake and I’ll show you my toy collection.”

 

Cas leaned against the counter with a grin, studying the menu. "Anything else you want, baby?"

 

“Mu-shu pork and beef fried rice, please,” he said with a sweet smile and exaggerated batting of his eyelashes.

 

Cas ordered the food from an old chinese man, who seemed to have a tiny smile frozen in place on his lips. He ordered rice with vegetables and some dumplings for himself, and pulled Inias closer as they waited for the guy to fry up the ingredients in his wok. It wasn't exactly cold outside, but he still couldn't get enough of the warmth Inias was radiating. Maybe he was just lonely.

 

He kissed along Inias's throat, trying to think of something else. He knew he was lonely, but it wouldn't do him any good to mope around about it. It wasn't something he would or could change. So he just tried to enjoy the moment with Inias.  

 

“You’re a very attentive pretend boyfriend,” he murmured in a soft laugh, carding his hand through Cas’s hair.

 

"Do you like that?" Cas purred against his throat.

 

Inias groaned softly and gasped. He pulled back and laughed into his hand. “I almost forgot we’re in public.”

 

To their luck that was the moment the guy had finished their food. Cas took the plastic bag and paid before he grabbed Inias's hand again. "Let's get you home then."

 

“My knight in shining… leather jacket,” he quipped with a wink.

 

_Damn, this was going to be a perfect night._

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

It was the weekend and instead of unpacking, Cas was back in the office for a larger security server update. It would take some time for the refigurations and this needed to be done when no one was around.

 

He texted Inias in between, smiling every time he remembered their first night together and how the toy collection had turned out to be a collection of limited G.I. Joe and X-Men action figures instead of sex toys.

 

The guy was incredible, funny, and sexy as hell. Cas couldn't wait to fuck him again.

 

Around noon his stomach reminded him it was time to eat, and he grabbed his chinese food (from the same chinese corner restaurant because Inias had been right about the food's worth) and went up to the company's break room, getting cozy on the couch before he switched on the TV and leaned back.

 

 _Dr. Sexy, M.D._ was running and it was his super secret guilty pleasure.

 

The door to the breakroom slammed open, causing Cas to jump. He heard the bark of laughter before he turned around to glare at whoever just scared the hell out of him. It was Dean, looking weirdly normal in a pair of jeans and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. He was snickering and shaking his head. “Oh, you’re workin’ real hard on that stupid update, aren’t you?”

 

"Sorry for taking a break. What the hell are you doing here?" Cas replied, trying not to sound too annoyed.

 

Dean stepped more into the break room, hands raised in mock surrender. “Ooh, no one else could _possibly_ try to get some work done on a weekend.” He chuckled and straightened his posture. “Wanna get ahead so I can submit for copy early on the Roman account.” He proceeded to walk to the ancient coffee pot and start making a fresh pot with the bag of coffee he’d brought in with him.

 

"It's good you're telling me. The servers will be down for a while, so please save your stuff on a stick so it doesn't get lost, alright?" He murmured through a mouth full of chicken and rice before he tried to return his attention back to the TV.

 

“Well, shoot me an email before you shut it down and I will. Want a cup?”

 

Cas turned to Dean in surprise before he nodded. "Yeah sure, thank you."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded, bracing his hands back against the counter. “How do you take it?”

 

"Black like my heart and sweet like my sarcasm." Cas chuckled before he gasped when Dr. Rosanita slapped Dr. Sexy's face.

 

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d take Dr. Sexy’s side. He deserved that slap, and if you’ve been paying attention, you’d know it.”

 

“I know he did, but still.” Cas froze and looked up at Dean with wide eyes. “You watch _Dr. Sexy, M.D.?”_

 

 

Dean shrugged as he started stirring sugar into one of the cups. “Found it on accident a few years back when I was stuck at home, and it was a nice distraction. Which then became a dumb addiction. It’s like… I know it’s terrible, but I can’t stop myself.”

 

“It’s a guilty pleasure of mine,” Cas admitted with a sigh. “Never thought I would say that out loud.” He leaned back and looked up at Dean. “Actually, I'm glad I got to see you. I wanted to thank you.”

 

“For what?” Dean asked as he leaned over the couch, handing him his coffee before bracing his elbows on the backrest and taking a sip from his own cup.

 

“Well, for the coffee for starters,” Cas replied, laying his head back on the backrest to look at Dean. “And for trying to defend Inias from that creep Zachariah.”

 

Dean furrowed his brow and shrugged. “Who?”

 

“Sexy barista, works at Heavenly Coffee?” Cas clarified, wondering if Inias maybe was mistaken about Dean’s help.

 

Dean chuckled and said, “Doesn’t narrow it down. Half of legal is comprised a bunch of creepy assholes. I think I’m at least half the staff’s boyfriend.”

 

For some reason that reaction rubbed him the wrong way. Like Inias wasn’t even worth it enough for Dean to know his name. Looked like Dean was just an arrogant asshole with a hero complex. He probably enjoyed that the people he “saved” admired and lusted after him. He snorted. “Yeah, well... Inias is mine now, so you don't need to pretend anymore with him.”

 

“Okay,” he said with a shrug as he took another sip of his coffee. Dean’s attention was now on the screen, lazily sipping his coffee while impeding on Cas’s break time as he watched the TV from leaning over the back of the couch.

 

Cas awkwardly shuffled on the couch before he growled, “Can you at least sit down if you're staying? You’re making me nervous, hovering there.”

 

Dean shrugged and walked around the couch, plopping himself down unceremoniously as he put the coffee mug on the little coffee table. “So… Mr. I’m leaving soon. Isn’t it kinda fucked up to get a boyfriend when you aren’t planning on staying?”

 

“Just pretend, but at least I know his name,” Cas grumbled back. He had no idea why he felt the need to justify himself.

 

Dean quirked his brow at him and shook his head with a soft laugh. “Okay. Sorry I asked.”

 

After an awkward few minutes of silence just watching the show, Cas turned to look at Dean. “So what's Zachariah’s deal? Any weaknesses?”

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “What? You gonna defend your pretend boyfriend’s honor? When nerds attack!”

 

Cas glared at Dean. "Well, he might be my pretend boyfriend, but I care for him, alright? And I don't want that sleazy ass bothering him."

 

“Jeez. I was just messin’ with you.”

 

Cas froze for a moment. Was he getting overprotective again? Or was this a normal reaction to want to rip Zachariah's head off for even speaking to Inias? Sure Inias wasn’t his boyfriend, but the guy was awesome and deserved respect. "I just don’t like it when people think they are better than others. He thinks because he makes money he can talk like that to him... I just want to... Ugh, I don’t know, destroy all his credit cards."

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, “pretend, my ass,” before he braced his left arm along the back of the couch to face Cas. “Well, I can tell you one thing... It would be a damn shame if the IT department decided to suddenly block those bid and auction websites.” He gave him a pointed look before grabbing his coffee again.

 

Cas raised his eyebrows in surprise. Did Dean really just hand him the asshole's secret on a silver platter? He gave him a grateful smile and nodded. "Yeah, those sites are a security concern. I'm sorry to tell you this, but they have to go."

 

Dean feigned a sad sigh. “That’s too bad.”

 

"Yeah, life is hard." Cas laughed as he pointed at the screen. "’Specially for our favorite doctor at the moment."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Are you caught up?”

 

"Haven't seen the last episode yet, but I recorded it," Cas replied after swallowing his food and trying the coffee. It was pretty good.

 

“Okay, I’ll keep my trap shut. But let me tell you, it was so good,” he said with an amazed laugh.

 

"I only care if Dr. Sexy finally admits to being bisexual and fucks Dr. Dan. The heart eyes, man. They have to kiss already."

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “You know that’ll never happen. Show’s been on the air for over a decade, they’ll never have a main male protagonist come out.”

 

"It's a shame, if you ask me. There aren't enough bisexual characters on TV. And I don't mean like an alibi queer person, but like an actual main character." He knew he was ranting, but he couldn’t stop himself.

 

Dean ruffled Cas’s hair and cooed at him. “Aww, Stonewall, eat your heart out.”

 

Cas looked Dean over with an appraising expression. "Are you sure you're gay?"

 

That was met with a smirk. “I’m pretty sure takin’ it up the ass ain’t all that straight,” he quipped.

 

Cas wished he hadn’t taken a sip from his coffee in that moment. Wrong tube, he was coughing like an idiot.

 

Dean clapped his hand against Cas’s back and laughed. “You okay?”

 

"Uh, yeah." Cas coughed some more. He had tears in his eyes. "Just surprised me."

 

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “Well, gay sex is a little surprising. I could give you some pointers,” he teased.

 

Cas took in a deep breath before he gave Dean a sardonic look. "I think I have gay sex pretty well covered." He raised his eyebrow before he added, "And I don't bottom."

 

“Now that’s surprising!” Dean said with that damnable smirk.

 

Cas leaned back against the sofa after putting down his empty chinese food container with a shrug. "You wouldn't be surprised if you saw me in action."

 

Dean quirked his brow. “Big talk, little man.”

 

Cas squinted his eyes at him before he gave him a smug grin. "What? You need proof? And who are you calling little? We're almost the same size."

 

“First, I’m easily two inches taller and second…” Dean chuckled and shook his head as he finished, “You couldn’t handle me.”

 

"I'm probably a few inches bigger where it matters though." He shrugged before he added, "And you’re not my type anyway. I like them obedient."

 

Dean chuckled and finished his coffee as he stood up, grabbing Cas’s empty container as well. “Again, the cocky pun is begging to be made. And what makes you think I’m anything but obedient in the bedroom?” He made his way to the kitchenette and poured himself another cup of coffee.

 

Cas made a skeptical noise. "Are you though?"

 

Dean tsk’d him. “Haven’t even bought me dinner.” He made his way back to the couch and sighed. “I find, more often than not, when you live a life where you’re in charge, always in control, it’s kind of freeing to give that control up to someone else.”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile. "Yeah, I get that. For me it's that I like to take care of people. It’s the one thing I'm good at."

 

“I dunno, Cas. You’re pretty good at bitching me out,” he said, winking again.

 

Cas smirked at Dean. "What was it you said earlier? Who says I'm the same in the bedroom?"

 

Dean chuckled and gave him a salute with his coffee cup. “Point.”

 

"So who is your favorite character?" He nodded to the TV.

 

"Not Dr. Sexy?" Dean said with a soft laugh.

 

Cas chuckled before he concentrated on the TV again. "I like Dr. Dan. He’s sexy."

 

Dean nodded. “You’re not wrong. If I had to choose, I’d have to say Nurse Candy. She’s such a bitch. I love that about her.”

 

"I thought you were gay?" Cas asked in surprise.

 

“What? A gay man can’t like female characters?”

 

"Of course you can. It's just surprising with so many good looking guys," Cas replied with a grin. It was weird to talk with someone about this show. He liked it.

 

Dean shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the eye candy. But you asked me who my favorite character was. Not who I wanted to let pull my hair and make me scream.”

 

Cas couldn’t help the quiet gasp falling from his lips with Dean’s words. He also couldn't help imagining Dean like that now. Great. "Mmmh, okay and who would be the guy you want for that?"

 

Dean smirked. “Honestly? I don’t know what it is, but the janitor, Trev? I don’t know what it is about him. Maybe it’s because he’s so… Hmmm.” What Dean wasn’t saying was nerdy. Trev was a geeky janitor with a crush on Nurse Rosita.

 

Cas grinned at him. "You have a weakness for geeky tops?"

 

“What can I say? Little nerdy dudes really do it for me.” Dean finished his coffee and waved the cup. “You want another? Did I get the sugar to liquid ratio close enough for you?”

 

Cas gave him a charming smile, automatically switching to flirt mode with Dean’s words. "Actually you got it perfectly. And I'd love another one." And this time he would keep an eye on him, using the opportunity to check out Dean’s ass.

 

Dean grabbed his cup and deftly circled the couch as he made his way back to the coffee pot. The jeans he was wearing left nothing to the imagination. They hugged his pretty perfect ass just right. Too soon he turned around to lean against the counter, stirring sugar into Cas’s mug. Dean smirked. “You’re not even a little bit subtle.”

 

"Just enjoying the view." Cas grinned at him.

 

Dean merely shrugged and turned around again, but clearly now putting his ass on display for his benefit. He even started shaking it, swaying his hips like he was dancing to an unheard beat.

 

Cas slowly stood up from the couch to get closer, stepping behind him. "Damn, Dean," he breathed out. "Very nice view."

 

That was met with a soft laugh. He spun around and quirked his brow. “Castiel, what kind of girl do you take me for? I don’t mess around with boys with pretend boyfriends.”

 

Cas grinned at him and rubbed his thumb over his cheek. "So you only mess around with boys with real boyfriends?"

 

Dean’s expression went from playful to almost timid. He took a step back and shook his head. “No, uh... no boys at the moment.”

 

Cas nodded with a soft smile, holding up his hands. "It's alright." He went back to the sofa. "Wanna watch the rest of the episode with me? Nice to have company in a shared guilty pleasure."

 

The smile on Dean’s face was relieved. He nodded as he made his way back to the couch, holding the two mugs. “It’s nice to be able to watch it with anyone. I know no one who watches it.” Dean handed Cas his cup and moved to sit a little further away than he had earlier.

 

"Dean, I'm not going to molest you." He grinned as he leaned back. "And yeah, it's really nice. We could do this more often, if you want to."

 

Dean chuckled and scooted back to his spot. “Can’t blame a girl for wanting to protect her virtue.” He leaned back against the couch. “And I wouldn’t mind having a temporary watching buddy.”

 

"I can totally provide that service." Cas playfully bowed and winked at him. "I always record the episodes, so we could make a night out of it."

 

“Same here.” Dean took a sip of his coffee and smiled. “Thanks, Cas.”

 

"For what?" He smiled back.

 

“For not being weird about... you know...” He waved toward the kitchenette area. “That.”

 

"I'm the last person who would judge someone for keeping people away from one's life. In a way, I do the same thing," he explained quietly.

 

Dean let out a mirthless chuckle. “It’s a rare thing these days. People don’t like when a, ‘pretty guy,’” He said with the use of air quotes, “is willingly single.”

 

"Well, people can fuck off then," Cas replied with an easy grin before he gave Dean a long look. "How long has it been? You don't have to answer that."

 

Dean shook his head. “It’s fine. Everyone’s got a secret identity back story, right?” He sighed and looked down at the cup braced in both of his palms. “Four years.”

 

Cas nodded slowly before he asked, "Did it get better? Over time?"

 

“Helluva question.” Dean took a deep breath and sat back against the couch, looking up almost. “It didn’t get worse?”

 

Cas gave him a quick, soft smile. "Well, that's something, at least."

 

Dean turned to look at him with a slight shrug and half smile. “I guess.” After a beat of silence, he asked, “What about you?”

 

"What about me?" Cas returned, sipping his coffee as he tried not to look at Dean.

 

Dean patted Cas’s thigh and gave him a weirdly soft smile. Weird for him. “It’s okay, Cas. Wanna watch the start of the show’s queerbaiting? I think this is the episode when Dr. Dan gets introduced.”

 

"Sure. How long are you working today? We could go over to my place after, if you don’t have anything planned, that is."

 

Dean smirked. “Hitting on me’s like a compulsion at this point, isn’t it? Surely you’ve met prettier men,” he teased.

 

Cas rolled his eyes. "Not hitting on you. You’re pretty, but I respect a no, Dean."

 

“Huh,” he said with a thoughtful hum. “Didn’t think I’d be disappointed by those words.” Dean chuckled and finally answered the question, “Two hours at the most? So, if that’s your timeframe, then sure. I’d like to see the nerd sanctuary. No flash photography though, right?”

 

Cas was slightly confused by the mixed signals he was getting, but it was probably better to let Dean make a move if he wanted to. He was the one with the intimacy issues after all. "Yeah, and no filming, nor feeding the nerd after midnight. And two hours is doable. I'm almost finished anyway. You could come down to the basement when you're done."

 

“I’ll take, ‘things serial killers say,’ for six hundred, Alex,” he quipped as he snapped his fingers and pointed to Cas with a wink.

 

Cas waggled his eyebrows. "I probably have some candy down there too."

 

Dean feigned an innocent expression and shook his head in dismay. “But, Mister, my mommy told me to never take candy from strange men in basements.”

 

"I'm no stranger, handsome. You already know my name." Cas smirked.

 

Dean let out a soft laugh and shook his head. “Nope. Not goin’ there.”

 

"Do I need to cosplay as Janitor Trev to persuade you?" Cas chuckled, before he emptied his coffee.

 

“I thought that’s what you were doing,” he quipped with a straight face.

 

"Yeah, that makes sense." Cas nodded as he stood up from couch when the episode ended. "You probably think IT and janitorial work is the same thing." He sighed dramatically and shook his head. "Pity I can't spank you for that."

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “I’d make a joke, but I’m genuinely into that.”

 

Cas made a face that hopefully told Dean what a fucking pity it was that he was so unavailable. "You're a tease, but seriously, if you're ever interested in a totally no strings attached spanking as long as I'm here, just say the word."

 

He suddenly laughed outright, almost a little uncontrollably. Dean shook his head and wiped the mirth from his eyes. “I just imagined your elves walking in on you doing that to me ‘cause of my desktop.”

 

Cas groaned and looked at the ceiling. "It will be your fault when I dream of that tonight. Punishing you hard for every unnecessary item on your desktop before licking you open and..." He stopped himself, trying not to make his current situation harder (pun intended) than it already was.

 

“Damn, Casanova. You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Dean chuckled and shook his head in amazement.

 

Cas winked at him. "No, only well behaved good boys."

 

Dean chuckled again and murmured, “Unbelievable.” Then there was this moment, weirdly intense, where their eyes locked and they held each other’s gaze. After a beat Dean’s smile softened, like it was genuine. “You know? It’s been a damn long time since I enjoyed flirting with someone. Most of the time, it’s part of the whole being a glorified salesman gig. So... thanks for this, Cas.”

 

Playtime was over, back to business. He nodded and mirrored Dean's smile, walking up to the door. "Anytime. So, um, see you later?"

 

“Yeah. And you better not have been lying about that candy.”

  
"It's a nerd office. There is always candy." He smirked as be opened the door, happy that they were going to do this. Dean wasn’t that bad now that he had gotten to know him a little bit better. "We basically run on that stuff," he added before he winked again and slipped through the door, walking back to his office.

He was looking forward to this Saturday night. That hadn’t happened in the longest time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the second gorgeous piece of art EEEEEKKKKK!!

**Chapter 6**

 

For some reason Cas looked confused when they sat down in Dean’s car. "I don't know why," Cas started slowly, "but for some reason I pictured you in some classic muscle car and not a Prius."

 

Dean barked out a laugh as he buckled his seatbelt. “Just because I’m cool like him, doesn’t mean I’m James Dean.”  
  
It was strange, but Dean had been genuinely enjoying the time he and Cas were spending together. Maybe it was the lack of professional pressure. Maybe it was the damn flattering way Cas would hit on him. The conflict he felt about it. Whatever the reason, it had been a long time since he’d laughed this much.  
  
Years.  
  
Dean propped his cellphone on the stand and opened his Spotify app. He selected his favorite classic rock station and put his little beast into drive. The name Aaron had given the car when he got it all those years ago. Shaking his head of his thoughts, he started to pull out of the spot.

 

"It's just four streets down. That’s why I usually don't take my car." Cas explained as he nodded to Dean’s phone. "Nice music taste."

 

“Well, you passed that test.” Dean smirked and added, “And I thought nerds only listened to techno and video game soundtracks?”

 

"I hate electronic music. I do listen to gaming soundtracks though, but they’re probably not what you expect," Cas replied, looking over at him with a smile that probably usually worked to charm everybody's pants off.

 

Dean chuckled as he pulled out of the garage. “We’re both terrible gay stereotypes.”

 

"Well, I'm not gay," Cas replied with a shrug.

 

“No,” Dean said with an exaggerated gasp.

 

Cas nodded with a grin. "I know, it's a shocker. I had to make it so much worse by choosing to be pansexual. How dare me. Gay is always so much easier to explain. Now my parents get questions like, am I doing it with the greek god of the shepherds… Or if I have a Peter Pan fetish. Very inconsiderate of me."

 

Dean barked out a laugh. It was impressive to find someone just as sarcastic as himself. “Don’t lie, you have a full on Pan costume in your closet. Speaking of which, where am I going?”

 

"Straight down, fourth building on the left." Cas chuckled and looked out of the window before he said, "No on that costume, but now I wish I had one."

 

“Kinky,” Dean quipped. It was weird, but flirting with Cas was surprisingly natural. And his guilt was nowhere near its usual level. Dean didn’t want to think about what that meant.

 

"Yeah no, I don’t think tights are a good look on me. Or on anyone for that matter. Not even Robin Hood." Cas looked back at him with a grin. "And I had a big crush on Cary Elwes back in the day."

 

Dean nodded. “That I get. But I sure as hell wouldn’t kick him out of bed for wearing tights.”

 

"He wouldn’t wear them long though, and they probably would be used to tie him up to the bed." Cas made a thoughtful noise before he added, “Maybe tights aren't that bad."

 

“Unbelievable. You’re kind of a terrible nerd stereotype too.”

 

"It's my tactic to confuse people. So they have no idea what they’re dealing with."

 

Dean chuckled again as he started looking for street parking. “I get it. You’re Clark Kent and the only person who can know you’re Superman is Lois Lane.”

 

Cas didn’t reply directly and when he finally did, he sounded quiet, "There will never be a Lois Lane in my life."

 

Talk about finding common ground. Dean nodded. “Jimmy seems more your type.” Hopefully he got he was giving him an out. Dean hated when he accidentally fucked up and said something that backed him into a corner. Unable to avoid talking about that pesky, off limits part of his personal history.

 

"If I could choose it would be Deadpool, but looking like Ryan under the mask." Cas winked at him playfully.

 

Dean chuckled. “Even if he didn’t have the fucked up face, I’d still want to fuck him with the mask on.”

 

Cas shook his head before he replied dryly, "I couldn't. I have unresolved issues with raisins."

 

Dean snorted. “Not even if he kept the mask on?”

 

“My imagination would still picture it.” Cas grinned back.

 

Dean found a parking space directly behind a worn down silver minivan. “Yeah, thatˋs my car by the way,” Cas explained with a chuckle.

 

“Really? You’re not helping your hippie case here, Cas.”

 

“It’s practical when you move a lot,” Cas defended with an eye roll.

 

Dean chuckled and put the beast into park. “Again, still not helping your case.”

 

“You’ll change your mind when you see my place.” Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “I hope you won’t mind the zen atmosphere of unpacked boxes.”

 

He didn’t. It wasn’t like he’d finished unpacking after he moved out of their old place. While Dean was mostly unpacked, there were some boxes that were tucked away in a hidden corner. _His_ boxes. Dean got out of the car and nodded to Cas over the roof of his car. “I don’t know. If we arrange them into a fort, then that would be way cooler than unpacking them.”

 

Cas’s eyes widened. “That is the most brilliant idea I’ve heard in ages. You know we have to do this now, right?”

 

“If you feed me real food, not candy, then you may use me for your manual labor.” Dean smiled, actually looking forward to building a fort more than an adult man probably should.

 

“I can make a mean macaroni and cheese,” Cas offered with a smirk.

 

Dean shrugged his shoulders as he followed Cas into his apartment building. “I mean, if we’re gonna act like kids, we should probably eat like them.” With that thought, Dean corrected himself, “So, I guess candy is back on the table.”

 

Cas gave him a pointed look. “Building a fort is a very serious and manly thing to do, Dean. But you’re right about the candy. It’s easier to eat in a fort.”

 

He opened the door of the eight story building when they got out of the car and guided Dean up to the second floor and into one of the apartments there.

 

He hadn’t been kidding about the zen. It looked like Cas only unpacked what he really needed for living. And that apparently meant a big TV, gaming consoles, a desk, and computer, and that was about it. There was a couch, and Dean could see a bed frame leaning against the walls of an adjourned room. The mattress with blankets was on the floor. “Welcome to my cave.”

 

“All you need to unpack is a bean bag chair and a bong, and it’d be perfect,” Dean teased. This was how he lived in college.

 

“I don’t have one.” Cas shrugged as he walked into the open kitchen and ripped open a bag of chips before he walked back to Dean, crunching on a few and holding it out in offer. “I think we should build it in that corner. That way we have a perfect view of the TV.”

 

Dean nodded. “Good idea.” He took off his jacket and hung it over the back of the couch. When he turned back to Cas, he grabbed one of the chips out of his hand and smirked at the indignant expression that was met with. “Which boxes do you want to start with?” he asked as he crunched on the chip.

 

“We should use the heavy ones for the base. The ones that are labeled, ‘books’,” Cas suggested before he stepped closer and fed Dean another chip from his hand with a grin.

Dean chuckled as he crunched down and started clearing the space of all boxes. “You know, I’m thinking we could build it _around_ the couch.”

 

“So that the couch is inside the fort?” Cas asked, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

 

“Yeah…” The thoughts started swirling around in his brain. Dean nodded again as he stopped nudging the piles of boxes with his leg. “If we unpack one, maybe two boxes, we can break the boxes down to make a roof and overhang. That way we can build around the couch, but you can still see the TV.” Dean loved shit like this. Whenever he visited his brother Sammy, Dean would spend at least one night with his and Eileen’s rugrats and he would always come up with fun ways to keep them busy. Apparently, it worked on adults too.

 

Cas nodded slowly. “We should make the entrance in front of the couch for easier access and… yeah I can unpack some kitchen stuff, I guess. I need to do that anyway.” Cas went over to two boxes near the kitchen and opened them, unpacking pans, bowls, and some plates. “And that way I can tell my sister I unpacked and it wouldn’t be a lie.”

 

Dean chuckled as he continued clearing out the living room so they would have a nice, open palette to build. “And besides, you promised mac and cheese. I know it’s technically an easy dish to make, but last I checked, you do need some pans and shit to cook it.”

 

Cas looked up with a smile. “And you will get the first cooked meal in this kitchen.”

 

“Damn right I will!” Dean laughed as he finished shoving away the last pile of boxes. “Should I start the archway?” he called out as he looked over the more spacious living room.

 

Cas folded one of the empty boxes and carried it over to the fort construction site. “Sure. I’ll unpack the second box. Yell if you need a hand or if you need me to hold up something heavy.”

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “I swear, if there’s a box here that you can lift, that I can’t, I’m firing my personal trainer.”

 

“Hey.” Cas lifted his way too wide nerd shirt to reveal a very nicely built body and mouth watering hip bones over jeans that hung too low. “It’s well hidden, but I’m stronger than I look.”

 

Dean knew his expression was probably a dead giveaway to how impressed he was. But hey, it was only fair, right? Cas got to skeeve on him earlier, Dean was only returning the favor. “See? You’re like the worst nerd ever. You should lose your membership.”

 

“Well, I’m the kind of nerd who also likes wall sex so…” Cas winked before he pulled more plates and glasses out of a box. “Do you want a beer?”

 

“I’d love one,” he grunted as he lifted one of the boxes labeled, “books”. He aligned it with the other box he’d put on the left side, maybe six or seven inches past the arms of the couch.

 

Cas walked over to Dean and handed him a cold beer from the fridge before he lifted a book box to put next to the one Dean had pushed into place. “Soon we’ll have the perfect fort,” he remarked solemnly.

 

Dean took a swig of the beer as he stood up straight and nodded. “Not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous.”

 

“Why is that?” Cas asked with a head tilt before he went back to unpacking the second box.

 

“Dude. Fo-o-ort…” he said with a wave over the boxes. “Fort.”

 

Cas shrugged at him. “You’re always welcome in my fort. Mi fort es su fort.”

 

Dean snickered as he started pushing the heaver boxes with his foot across the floor, lining them up so he could still stand and drink. “We should decorate it like the kids’ hangout in _Stranger Things…”_ Dean held his hand out and feigned a sympathetic expression. “Wait. You probably don’t know what that is either, do you?”

 

“Are you kidding me? Of course I do. If I could, I would marry Netflix,” Cas replied in a muffled voice from somewhere inside of the box he was unpacking.

 

“Hey, you didn’t know _Mad Men._ Another awesome show. How am I to know you just aren’t averse to all critically acclaimed, Emmy winning shows?”

 

Cas looked up from his box. “That’s not the reason I watched _Stranger Things._ I would watch anything sci-fi, fantasy, or mystery related, no matter how trashy it is. Your series is probably not in the genre of shows that I watch.”

 

Dean shrugged and pulled out his phone. He pulled up Jon Hamm’s picture in one of his suits from an earlier episode and showed it to Cas. “That’s why I started watching it. And like Dr. Sexy, the story ended up sucking me in.”

 

Cas raised an eyebrow at the photo. “Is this the kind of man you fall for?” he asked with a grin.

 

Dean huffed out a soft laugh. “Gotta admit. There’s something about a man in a nice suit.”

 

Cas sighed theatrically. “I never stood a chance… if you're hungry, I could start cooking.”

 

“And I could definitely eat. Do you need a hand?”

 

"You wanna give me a hand?" Cas asked with a smirk.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Hand, Cas. Not hand job.”

 

"No, just stay where you are and hold down the fort. I have a few blankets in that box next to you. To decorate or whatever."

 

Dean nodded and knelt by the box as he opened it. He barked out a laugh. _“Star Wars_ sheets? I’ll never question your nerdiness again!”

 

Cas pumped his fist in triumph. "Finally." He danced around the kitchen before he started to cook.

 

Dean rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the smile or soft snort of laughter. Cas was a dorky little guy, but he was a helluva lot of fun to be around. He pulled out the sheets and shook them out before draping them over the armrest of the couch. Then he proceeded to start building the right wall. “How high do you want the wall?”

 

"High enough so we can comfortably hide under it," Cas said over his shoulder, starting some music Dean had never heard before on his phone while he was cooking.

 

“Okay.” He figured only high enough that they could comfortably sit on the couch would work. As the music continued Dean furrowed his brow with a bemused smile. “The hell are you listening to?”

 

"It's the soundtrack from _Witcher._ I like cooking to it. Don't ask why." Cas chuckled before taking a sip from his bottle.

 

“I don’t think I could. I have no idea what that is,” he said with a soft laugh.

 

"It's one of my favorite games. Netflix is going to make series out of it, I heard."  He looked over his shoulder. "You play a character that basically runs around and kills monsters and demons, saving people."

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “That’s weird. Why would anyone want to do that?”

 

"For the excitement, to be the hero and get all the girls?" Cas shrugged. "There’s a lot of sex going on in that game. Sadly, just with girls."

 

Wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, Dean exhaled as he started piling up the boxes. It was weirdly warm in Cas’s place, so he pulled off his shirt and tucked it into his back pocket. “Well, you’re pan, right? You like all genitals.”

 

"True, but it gets annoying if you can’t choose–" Cas had stopped talking when he turned around, staring at Dean with parted lips.

 

Dean chuckled and smirked, walking to the open doorway to the kitchen. It was pretty flattering. But even if he could let himself think of Cas in that light, he wouldn’t anyway. The guy wasn’t staying. It had taken Dean years to stop bad behaviors, like sabotaging himself. “Can I get another beer?” He dangled his empty bottle.

 

Cas licked over his lips before he nodded and handed Dean another beer from the fridge. "If you ask like that, you can get anything you want from me."

 

“Excellent! Now I know what to do next time you bitch me out for not knowing what a RAMbyte thing is.”

 

"No, no, no." Cas chuckled holding up his wooden spoon. "Your jeans have to go for that to happen."

 

“Good to know,” he murmured around the rim of his beer bottle before taking a swig. Dean winked at him before he got back to work.

 

"You're a mean tease by the way," Cas said with a laugh.

 

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “It’s fun seeing you revert to a caveman.”

 

"Me caveman, want you naked," Cas grunted lowly.

 

He blamed the warmth he felt on the fact that it’d been a long time since he got laid. If only. Dean chuckled and tugged on one of the belt loops of his jeans, barely revealing his left hip before he let go. “Nice try.”

 

"Have I mentioned that you’re a fucking tease?"

 

Dean smirked. “Maybe once or twice.”

 

"Is that your secret hobby? Teasing poor men?" Cas asked as he poured the macaroni into the boiling water.

 

“Yup, when I’m not frustrating IT elves.”

 

"I knew it." Cas sighed as he started the sauce. It already smelled delicious.

 

Dean chuckled and took a breather to lean against the kitchen doorway and drink his beer. He soaked in the simplicity of such a normal moment. Domestic. It was nice. “So what’s your favorite video game?”

 

"It's a tie between _Mass Effect_ and _Dragon Age._ Because those two are exactly what I want in a game." Cas turned around with a smile. "Do you play anything?"

 

“Nah. It was always more my brother’s thing. Last time I played a video game, they’d just come out with Super Mario three for the Super Nintendo,” Dean said with a laugh. He groaned and added, “That makes me feel old. I bet if I said that to your twelve year old elves, they’d look at me like I’m crazy.”

 

Cas grinned and shook his head. _"Super Mario_ is still a classic and cool, so you're good." Cas emptied the last box and folded it, handing it over to Dean. "Could you turn on the TV? Food will be ready in a few minutes."

 

With a muted nod, Dean put his shirt back on and went over to the couch. He grabbed the remote and dropped onto the left side of the couch with a groan. “Damn. Your couch is weirdly comfortable.”

 

"Years of sitting in it... Or sleeping on it when I was too lazy or drunk to get up," Cas murmured. "The couch is like my oldest friend."

 

Dean sank against the cushions as he turned on the TV. “How do I get to your Netflix?”

 

“Just start the Wii and then switch to HDMI two,” Cas explained before he got plates ready and finished the macaroni.

 

Dean looked down at the remote and the different controllers on the table. There was a white rectangle one and a couple of black more controller looking ones. He could do this. His brother had to show him every time he flew to California to visit him. He grabbed the white one and hit the center button. Nothing happened. Just a blue screen and mocking white letters reminding him he was nowhere near close to figuring this out. “Yeah, I’m not tech-y enough to get this.”

 

Cas turned around with a surprised look before he walked over to him and grabbed a big controller with a display. “This is the one for the Wii,” he explained softly as he stepped in front of Dean and took the remote from his hand, pressing a button that switched the screen to the starting logo for Nintendo. Cas’s fingers were warm where he had touched him. He smiled at him. “Now you just wait until you see the Netflix logo on the controller's display and use your finger to start it.”

 

Dean nodded. “Thanks. I think I got it from here,” he said with a smile.

 

“If not, I've got your back, but I believe you can do it.” He winked at him before he returned to the kitchen.

 

Letting out a soft chuckle, Dean returned his attention to the weird controller that looked more like the old Sega Game Gear than a controller. Which again made him feel kind of old. He managed to open the Netflix app and as he waited for Cas, he started surfing through his list. It was pretty much what he expected. And then he saw it.

 

Dean turned around to sit on his knees and look back to the kitchen over the back of the couch. _“You’ve Got Mail?_ Really?”

 

Cas walked over and handed Dean a plate with delicious smelling mac and cheese as he sat down next to him. “Would you believe me if I told you that I watched it with a date?”

 

“Doesn’t mean you’d have to add it to your list. I know I’m not good with this stuff, but even I know that.” Dean smirked as he dug the fork into the pasta and started stirring it.

 

“Damn it, the one time I needed you to not understand something… okay, alright, I admit it. I like Meg Ryan movies.” He growled before he started stuffing his face with food, getting comfortable next to Dean.

 

Dean chuckled before taking a bite. It had been a long time since he’d eaten pointless carbs and he was going to hit the treadmill even longer in the morning, but it was worth it. “I think I prefer the original, but that’s mostly because if you think about it, today that movie would be over with a simple google search for the other character’s name.”

 

“Original?” Cas asked with a confused head tilt.

 

Dean couldn’t even try to repress the surprised huff of laughter. “It’s a remake of a flick from the forties starring Jimmy Stewart called–“ Dean snapped his fingers in front of Cas’s face when his eyes started to glaze over. “Hey! Dick face.”

 

“Dick? Where?” Cas chuckled.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and kicked off his shoes as he got more comfortable on the couch. “So how’re you liking Seattle so far?”

 

Cas hummed and swallowed his food, nodding. “A lot. I mean, I got this awesome job, nice muppets to work with, a cute helpless co-worker, a hot guy to fuck on occasion and… a fort.”

 

“Nice list. And I’m the marketing director. Not your coworker,” he said as he shoveled a large bite into his mouth.

 

“We work for the same company in different departments, so I count you as coworker. And who says I was talking about you?” Cas grinned.

 

Dean nudged his shoulder into Cas’s. “You were.”

 

“Yeah, I was. The cute comment gave it away, right?” Cas chuckled and nudged him back.

 

“What? You think I’m gonna claim helpless?” Dean teased before he grabbed his beer and took a swig.

 

“A fault confessed is half redressed,” Cas teased back.

 

Dean snorted and shook his head. “Whatever, Shakespeare.” He stirred his mac and cheese again. When Dean looked up, he quirked his brow. “And I thought that guy was just your _pretend_ boyfriend?”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. “How did you go from hot guy who I fuck on occasion to boyfriend?”

 

“Just sayin’,” he started as he took another swig of his beer, “you’re protective of him, you fuck him, you’re now his Zachariah shield. Doesn’t sound all that pretend to me.”

 

Cas shrugged and leaned back against the couch. “I have a very bad habit of feeling overprotective and responsible for people in my life, probably to compensate for the fact that I can't have a serious relationship. Inias respects the no strings attached thing. He doesn't ask questions, and we just enjoy our time together.”

 

Sounded kind of perfect really. But things that easy never stayed that easy. And he had a feeling that Cas probably knew that as well. Dean nodded and finished the last of his mac and cheese. “It’s more than what I’m doin’... so I guess I can’t judge.”

 

“So you haven’t had sex for four years?” Cas asked in surprise.

 

Dean sighed and shook his head. “No. Every couple months I usually do something stupid, meet someone off of Grindr, and get it out of my system. Not that that’s much better.”

 

Cas grimaced. “Isn't that full of freaks and people who use fake profile pictures?”

 

“No, online dating ain’t what it used to be. Or, in Grindr’s case, online hooking up.”

 

“I only tried that once, never again. I like to pick up people I can have a real conversation with.” He shrugged and looked over at Dean. “Inias was a lucky find.”

 

Dean snorted into his beer. “Isn’t it ironic? The nerd prefers human interaction and the neanderthal prefers using an app.”

 

Cas chuckled and nodded. “You’re right. It’s weird. Maybe when you work with the internet as much as I do, you get paranoid about the people on there.”

 

“Oh, I know. When I first started using the app, I, uh… I had some bad ‘dates’.” Dean shook his head as he thought back on those terrible hook ups. He learned real quick what not to do when talking to a stranger online.

 

“What was the worst one?” Cas grinned as he shoveled the last bite into his mouth.

 

Dean thought about it for a moment. There were a couple of ringers, but he knew immediately which date story to tell him. He tucked his leg under himself and braced his arm along the back of the couch to face Cas a little more. “So, this one guy… He invites me over to his place. He’s decent enough looking, maybe a little older than his picture, but I didn’t care. We’re on his weirdly floral couch, which probably should’ve tipped me off. He barely gets my pants off before he starts blowing me and the front door opens. Five women, easily in their seventies, holding, and, I shit you not, bibles, walk in on us.” Dean chuckled as he shook his head. “He lived with his mom. And she was a hardcore homophobe. _And_ she walked in on her forty something year old son blowing me on her antique couch.”

 

Cas swallowed his bite and stared at him, a smile tugging at his lips. “What… fuck… what happened then?”

 

“A lot of screaming and me having to get dressed, in a stranger’s house, while he was talked to like a naughty child. Real Norman Bates situation, so I got the hell out of there and deleted the app for six months.” Dean chuckled. “But most of the time, it’s not a bad experience. It’s just not always great.”

 

“Oh, man.” Cas chuckled before he looked slightly guilty. “Sorry for laughing, but it's kind of hilarious.”

 

Dean waved him off. “Why do you think I led with that one? Comedy gold.”

 

Cas put his empty plate on the coffee table in front of him and shook his head with a grin before he leaned back and put his arm over the backrest, their fingers almost touching. “If you ever get that itch again, I’ll gladly provide that service for you. And I promise, no one can disturb us in this fort.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes, but his lips were still curled up in a smile. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said in a sarcastic tone.

 

Cas gave him a feigned hurt look. “I thought I was your type.”

 

“And what makes you think that?” Dean teased. Cas was absolutely his type, but it wasn’t like Dean was going to _tell_ him that.

 

“Didn't you say you like the geeky janitor in Dr. Sexy?” Cas pouted.

 

Dean smirked. “You aren’t a geeky janitor. You’re a geeky IT elf.”

 

“I thought the emphasis was on geek, not on janitor. Also, I thought you like guys that take charge.”

 

“Fine. If that was even close to being a good idea, you’d probably be my type.” Dean quirked his brow at him. “Happy?”

 

Cas smirked and leaned back against the couch. “Yes, the world is finally spinning again. Do you want another beer?”

 

“I’d love one,” Dean said as he handed his empty bottle to Cas.

 

Cas took both their empty plates and carried them to the kitchen before he came back with two new beers. “Our fort is nearly finished. It already looks cozy as hell.”

 

Dean nodded as he looked around. “Wanna finish it?”

 

“Absolutely. Watching Dr. Sexy out of a fort? It’s like a dream come true.” Cas chuckled before he lifted a box onto another one to build a higher wall.

 

Taking a sip of his beer, Dean moved to the other side to finish the other wall. “Your dreams are simple, Cas. I like that.”

 

“Simple dreams are easier to–” Cas stopped when his phone started playing the Darth Vader music from _Star Wars._ He cursed under his breath and gave Dean an apologetic look before he answered the phone, going into his bedroom.

 

Dean could still hear him talking. His voice sounded quiet and soft, Dean was sure he had never heard the man speak like that. “Hey… how are you?” After a long moment he could hear Cas sigh. “I know. I'm sorry I didn't call. I had a lot of work to do… Yes, I unpacked… Yes… No, I’ll send you the money like always, don't worry… I know, just… Just email me the bill, alright? Please, just let… I don’t know when I'll be back. It could be a while. They pay better than my last job… I know… please, don't say that. Stop. I… It’s my fault and it's my responsibility, so just…” Cas huffed out in frustration before there was silence for a while. Dean thought that maybe the call was over until he heard Cas’s voice again, just above a whisper, sounding broken, “Love you, too. Take care.”

 

And then there was silence again. Silence that was occasionally broken by a quiet sob.

 

Dean didn’t know what he should do. Even though they didn’t really know each other, he felt this overwhelming urge to comfort him. So he really shouldn’t have been surprised that the first thing that popped into his head was to go in and check on Cas, but considering how private he was, that might be completely unwanted. Instead, Dean worked on finishing the fort. Something he could do without potentially making things worse for Cas.

 

He’d just gotten all of the boxes in a sturdy three point wall around the couch and was using the flattened out and broken down boxes to form a makeshift roof over everything. He grabbed a couple more smaller boxes to keep the makeshift roof in place before he started draping the sheets and other blankets over the entire thing. Dean took a step back and admired his handy work. It was a pretty damn cool fort.

 

That’s when a thought occurred to him. Dean went to Cas’s home desk and pulled a piece of paper out of the printer and grabbed a blue marker. The door to the bedroom finally opened as he was taping the paper sign over the makeshift entryway.

 

“Hey, sorry for making you do all the work alone,” Cas said softly before he tilted his head. “Fortress of Solitude?” He stepped next to him with a soft smile. “Is it arctic cold inside?”

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Fort, dude. You can’t have a fort and _not_ name it that.”

 

Cas gave him another quick smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Damn, now it's official. We have a secret headquarter fort. Is it bigger on the inside?”

 

“It’s not a friggin’ T.A.R.D.I.S.” Dean quipped with a smirk. He’d never watched the show, but between his brother and ex, he knew way more than a non-watcher should about Dr. Who.

 

Cas seemed to be surprised by his knowledge before he smirked. “Could have been magic instead of time and relative dimensions in space. Have you ever seen Hermione’s purse?”

 

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion. “Her-what-y?”

 

“Hermione’s purse, or their tent when they go to the Quidditch World Cup,” Cas repeated slowly.

 

“I genuinely have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

 

Cas’s eyes widened as he whispered, “You’ve never seen Harry Potter?”

 

Dean shook his head with a shrug. “Not my thing.”

 

“My heart,” Cas groaned dramatically as he clutched at his chest before he cleared his throat and nodded towards the entrance. “What are you waiting for? Get in there.”

 

Dean held open the sheet and waved for Cas to go in first. “It’s your fort. You should have the honors.”

 

Cas gave him a quick grin and slipped inside, his voice sounded muffled. “Uhh, it's dark inside.”

 

Dean looked around and saw nothing he could use to remedy that, so Dean slipped inside with his cell phone flashlight on. “Better?” he asked as he looked around the pretty awesome interior. There was enough room to add even more furniture if Cas was feeling so inclined.

 

“I don’t know. Are you going to tell me a ghost story, where you shine the light on your face?” Cas chuckled before he sat down on the couch again.

 

He held the light on his face and started wailing like a ghost as he moved to sit next to Cas. Dean then dropped his phone flashlight up on the couch so they could at least see each other’s faces.

 

“Hold the fort for a moment. I'm getting our provisions. If I'm not back by sun down, don't mourn my death,” Cas said solemnly as he slid off of the couch.

 

Dean chuckled and gave him a salute. “Safe travels.”

 

Dean could hear Cas shuffling outside before he started to make sixties Batman cartoon fight noises. After a minute he came back inside with more beer and the bag of chips. “I made it back!” He handed Dean his bottle and put the chips between them before he resumed his place on the couch with a sigh. “I really like this fort. It’s cozy.”

 

Taking a swig of his beer, Dean smiled and nodded. “I’m half tempted to make one at my place, but fuck packing some boxes to do it.”

 

"There has to be some advantages to living out of boxes," Cas replied with a half smile.

 

“And a grown man with a badass fort in his living room is definitely a perk.”

 

"Right? And no one is here to judge me?" he asked with a hopeful grin.

 

“Definitely not,” he affirmed with a complimentary grin. Speaking of which. Dean took another swig of his beer and looked down at his lap for a moment. “So, I learned a long time ago that lying, no matter how good the intention behind it, can end badly, so…” Dean sighed and shifted to face Cas on the couch a little more fully. “I heard you. I wasn’t trying to listen or invade your privacy, but your walls are kind of shit. And you don’t have to tell me, you don’t have to talk about it… but… are you okay?”

 

Cas gave him a long look before he took another swig of his beer and looked away. "I'm a man living out of boxes with no personal relationships. Does that spell okay to you?" he snarked before he shook his head and murmured, "Sorry... No, I'm not." He let out a deep sigh. "What do you mean about lying? I'm not lying to anyone."

 

Dean shook his head. “I meant me. A part of me could’ve acted like I never heard you, and maybe you never would have known, but… I’ve learned the hard way how even a small lie can really fuck you over. So I was honest with you because, well… I do like you, Cas. God knows why, but I do. And I’m here, if you ever need a sound board.” Dean raised his hands in surrender. “And you are under no obligation to do that. But… on the off chance you need it?”

"I was on the phone with my brother. Well, with both of them... They live in New York," Cas answered quietly. "One of them wants me to come home, the other one thinks it's better I stay away. It's complicated."

 

Dean nodded and sighed. “Complicated I get.” He fiddled with the label on his beer before he made his next offer. “This might be overstepping, but if you need money, I don’t mind lending you what you need since we don’t get paid until the fifteenth. Strictly a no strings attached loan. You can hit me back when we get paid.” He knew money was a touchy subject for a lot of people, but Dean never saw it that way. Hell, it’d be nice for their savings to go to some good.

 

Cas shook his head. "I'm not in any money trouble, Dean, but thank you for the offer. I’ve been working to pay bills for my little brother for over ten years now. I got this covered."

 

Dean offered him an understanding smile. “Little brothers I also get. Mine looked up to me, so much so he broke his arm jumping off the roof into our pool when we were kids, after he saw me do it.” Dean chuckled and shook his head.

 

Cas took in a sharp breath and looked away before he nodded. "Yeah, you know it's one of the reasons why I don’t do relationships. Most people wouldn’t get that all my money goes into healthcare for my brother. I would do anything for him."

 

There were a million questions rattling around in his head. Part of liking someone as a person was wanting to get to know that person. But he also understood why Cas hesitated getting to know people. Dean might not be a whiz with computers, but he could tell that Cas had some hidden, tragic backstory. And he would never push anyone to cut themselves open for him. Hell, he knew how much he hated having to tell his own story. Instead, he smiled and patted Cas’s leg. “What’s his name?”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile. "Samandriel. But I call him Sam."

 

“Shut your mouth. That’s my brother’s name! Although, his is short for Samuel.”

 

Cas's eyes widened. "You're kidding me! Your brother's name is really Sam, too? How much younger is he?"

 

Dean shook his head. “I shit you not. Sammy’s four years younger than me, but he’s definitely more of an adult than I am. What about your Sam?”

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. "My Sammy is also four years younger than m–" He stopped suddenly, looking confused. "I’ve never told anyone about him before."

 

Dean couldn’t hide the smile. It was weirdly touching, especially considering how much Cas seemed to care for his little brother. “I can tell you really love him. And that’s crazy, our brothers being the same age apart from us. I wonder how much more they have in common?” He hoped that not making it into a big deal would quell any panic opening up to Dean might have caused his friend.

 

 _Friend. Huh._ Dean found he liked that thought.

 

Cas took in a deep breath. "Half of his body and his legs are paralyzed, since he was twenty. He paints with the one arm he can still use... He’s pretty good."

 

Dean braced his arm on the backrest of the couch as he leaned a little closer. “Do you have any pictures? I’d love to see one of his paintings.”

 

Cas pulled out his phone, chewing on his lip before he slid closer to Dean to show him some photos. It was mostly comic panels and one cover for a superhero Dean had never seen before. It looked very professional. "He publishes those comics with a friend of his." He swiped to another photo, showing a young man in a wheelchair smiling happily at the camera, holding up a comic book. "That's him."

 

Dean smiled and nudged his elbow into Cas’s side. “He’s cuter than you.”

 

Cas nudged his shoulder playfully. "I know, that's why I try to be sexier." He pocketed his phone and leaned slightly against Dean’s shoulder. "So what about you? Why don't you want people in your life?"

 

At that Dean froze. While on the one hand, it was only fair to share considering how much Cas opened up to him. But he hated this. He hated the look of pity, the sorrow, the uncomfortable silence because… How do you tell people that you buried your fiancé four months before your wedding? Dean swallowed dryly and sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want people in my life… I just… Fuck. You’d think it would be easier to say after four years.”

 

"You lost someone you loved?" Cas asked softly.

 

Dean nodded mutely and let out a mirthless chuckle. “Watching the man you love die. I guess there’s no normal after that.”

 

"Damn." Cas put his arm over Dean’s shoulder and pulled him closer. "We're both pretty broken, huh?"

 

“I like to think of it as fractured. Like my brother’s broken arm. Hopefully in time, I’ll heal.” Dean finished off his beer and soaked in the comfort of human touch. Something he didn’t realize he’d been starved for. He turned slightly so he was laying against Cas’s chest. “I wish I believed it when I say shit like that.”

 

 

Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean’s shoulder, sounding quiet as he said, "If you already wish for it, I think you're on a good path."

 

Dean sighed and shrugged. “I wouldn’t have to wish for it if bad shit didn’t happen.”

 

"Yeah, if bad shit didn’t happen, you would have had your happily ever after, I would have finished MIT, and we would have never built this beautiful Fort… ress of Solitude," Cas replied, nudging his shoulder before he continued to rub his fingers over it.

 

Dean chuckled softly and looked up at Cas. “MIT, huh? I knew you were too smart for your own good.”

 

Cas poked out his tongue before he shrugged. "Well, enough dwelling on shit that fucked up our lives. Let's watch some sexy people who fuck up each other’s lives for a change. What do you say?"

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Bela greeted him with an arched brow and knowing smirk as he came stumbling in thirty minutes late that following Monday. Dean hated being late, but it couldn’t be helped.

 

Saturday night he’d ended up falling asleep on Cas’s couch, on Cas actually, leaving his poor Baby cooped up in the apartment longer than she was used to. So, as an apology to her, he took her on longer walks. And the beautiful derp was still just as excited to see him, completely unaware of just how guilty he felt.

 

Dean went straight for his office and shut the door behind him, taking a deep breath as he sank into his chair. He wasn’t sure how he felt about what happened. It had been a long time since he bonded with someone as quickly as he had with Cas.

 

And when he’d find himself getting excited over the idea of making an awesome new friend, the time limit would flash like an annoying alarm clock. Cas didn’t plan on sticking around.

 

There was a part of him that hoped Cas would act like nothing happened and go back to low-key hating Dean. It would make things easier. But then Dean hoped the opposite would happen. He found he was looking forward to learning more about him.

 

Dean shook his head of his thoughts and started his computer. Work was where his head needed to be. When his desktop finally loaded all of the icons, he double clicked on the spreadsheet he’d been working on for the Harvelles when an error message stopped him.

 

“Seriously?” he grumbled at the damn computer. He was in no mood for this shit.

 

Without missing a beat, Dean pulled up his email and started his typed tirade.

 

* * *

 _To: ITS Service Request <itservice_request@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: I’m going to punch Excel in its dumb face._

 

_Excel won’t let me open my damn spreadsheet. Some stupid ass error message. It’s Monday and too early for this shit. Fix it or I’ll replace all of the coffee in the breakroom with decaf._

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure if he wanted Cas to be the one to respond or not. Which in and of itself was weird.

 

As he recalled Saturday night, building the fort, Cas showing him pictures of his own Sam, and binge watching Dr. Sexy… Dean realized he had kind of hoped Cas was the one to respond.

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Charlie Bradbury <c.bradbury@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: Re: I’m going to punch Excel in its dumb face._

 

_Can you please be more specific in your bug report? What does the error message say?_

 

 _Charlie Bradbury_  
_Database Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5378_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

Dean rolled his eyes and grumbled in annoyance. He wasn’t in the mood for computers, or IT elves that weren’t Cas apparently. He took a picture of the error message and after spending way too long trying to figure out how to attach it to his work email, he gave up with a frustrated huff and decided he already needed a break.

 

He made his way to the stairwell and out of the doors of the building with only an amused smirk from Bela. When he saw Frank on his usual corner, arranging his belongings on the blanket, he approached. Dean nodded to him and sat down on the cement block next to him. “How’s it goin’, Frank?”

 

"Alright, Dean. The sun is shining and everything is good." Frank gave him a toothless smile. The guy was always happy. "How are you?"

 

It felt disingenuous to bitch about his life to a man who slept on the streets most nights. “Just a rough start to the day.” Dean smiled and looked at the coffee place. “You hungry? I think I need a coffee.”

 

Frank nodded with a grin. "Is it those computers again? I don't trust them. They create problems that we wouldn't have without them."

 

In that moment the door to the shop opened and Cas walked out with three cups of coffee, followed suddenly by a barista who kissed him on the cheek and put a chocolate cookie in Cas's mouth before he turned around and walked into the shop again.

 

Dean looked away and focused on Frank. “I think you got the right idea. I swear they have it out for me. And whaddya say? The sausage breakfast sandwich and your espresso mocha monstrosity?”

 

Frank's eyes started to shine as he nodded quickly. "Yes, that's very generous of you, Dean. I hope the rest of your day will be better."

 

Cas had spotted him and awkwardly removed the cookie from his mouth as he drew closer. "Hey, Dean!"

 

Dean patted Frank’s shoulder and stood up to greet Cas. “Hey, Casanova. I see you’re starting your morning off right.”

 

He could have been wrong, but it actually looked like Cas was embarrassed for a moment. "Um, yeah, who’s your friend? Hey, I'm Cas," Cas greeted Frank trying to shake his hand from under the three drinks and cookie he was balancing.

 

“This is Frank. He’s the only person who understands my computer pain.”

 

Cas tilted his head. "Did something happen again?"

 

Dean sighed and nodded. “But I don’t have time to deal with it. I’ve got a breakfast date with Frank, so… I’ll catch you later?”

 

Cas hesitated, but shrugged then. "Sure, I can look at it and fix it for you as long as you're out."

 

“Double check with Beaker, I think she might have it covered,” he said with a nod.

 

“Alright, then have fun at your… breakfast date.” Cas gave him an odd smile he couldn’t quite place before he turned around and went back to their building.

 

Dean sighed and shook his head. So, awkward and keeping it professional it was. At least he knew where they stood now.

 

“You look disappointed, Dean,” Frank remarked with an attentive look.

 

He let out a soft laugh. “Nah, not disappointed. Just accepting reality.”

 

"Whose reality?" Frank asked with a soft smile. "One where the glass is half full or where the glass is half empty?"

 

Dean smiled at him. “Anyone ever tell you you’re annoyingly optimistic?”

 

Frank grinned again. “You have. On several occasions.”

 

“It’s why we make a good team.” Dean winked at him and went inside the coffee place.

 

And of course Cas’s pretend boyfriend was behind the register. Dean took a deep breath as he stepped up to the counter. “Uh, hey. Frank’s usual and a nonfat milk cappuccino for me, please.”

 

"Hi, coming right up," the guy greeted him with a warm smile and soft blue eyes as he started to get the order ready. His hair looked like someone had buried his hands in it and his cheeks were slightly red.

 

Dean instantly tensed and felt annoyed. Which was weird. He pushed the weird feelings down and handed him a twenty.

 

The barista handed him the change with another friendly smile before he gave him his coffee turned around to prepare the coffee and sandwich for Frank.

 

He couldn't stop himself noticing the guy’s ass and how his shirt wasn't tucked in on the left side. Which Dean knew meant that kiss he witnessed wasn’t the first of the day. Before he could stop himself he said, “Your shirt is untucked.”

 

The guy startled and looked down at himself before he mumbled an apology and blushed. After he righted his attire, he handed Dean his order.

 

Dean nodded and wordlessly took his order, trying to process his weird reaction to the whole morning. Maybe he just needed to take a personal day. Dean made his way back to Frank and handed him the bag and cup with his name on it as he sat down with him again. “Here you go, date.”

 

“Thank you, Dean.” Frank wrapped his fingers around the coffee cup with a smile, closing his eyes for a moment as he inhaled the aroma. “So what did Inias do to you to earn your stink eye? Anything to do with the man… Cas? We just met?”

 

“You’re way too attentive too. Too optimistic and too attentive.”

 

“It's a gift.” He shrugged, taking a huge bite out of his sandwich before he looked up at Dean with an expectant expression.

 

Dean sighed. “I don’t know why he rubbed me the wrong way. Everything’s rubbing me wrong today. You know how it goes, it’s that time of year.”

 

Frank nodded slowly. “It's the fourth year now, isn't it? Are you going to stay at home this time?”

 

“I’m thinking I’ll go to California again. It’s just… too much to be here.” Dean took a sip of his coffee and braced his elbows against his knees. He needed to change the subject, already starting to feel anxious. “You doin’ okay? Need a ride anywhere? Some cash?”

 

Frank sighed and gave him an almost pitying look. “I'm okay, Dean. I'm more worried about you. If you need someone to talk to, I'm good at listening.”

 

Dean nodded. “I know, Frank. You know I wouldn’t have gotten through the first couple of months without you.” He sighed again and looked up at his building. It looked more daunting than before. “I guess I should go be professional.”

 

“It’s only human to feel like you do, Dean. You’re not one of those computer machines.” He looked up at Dean with a soft smile. “It’s okay to think of and miss your lost ones, but don't forget to live too. Maybe spend the day with someone.”

 

It was weird that the first thing he thought of was Saturday with Cas. Dean let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. “Alright, Mr. Miyagi. Gimme a hug and I’ll get back inside.” Dean stood up and held his arms open expectedly.

 

Frank chuckled and scooped Dean tightly up in his arms. “You show ‘em, Dean.”

 

“I will, Frank.” He drew back and smirked. “Sing Amazing Grace. You’ll rake in two hundred no problem.”

 

“Always the salesman.” Frank chuckled as he started his usual good-natured rant, “What do I need two hundred dollars for? The sandwich and coffee is under five dollars.”

 

Dean winked as he said, “Splurge for a steak and lobster. If you’re gonna eat, do it well.”

 

Frank waved him off. “Nah, I like the food here. They always give us leftovers before they close.”

 

Dean let out a soft breath of amazement. Frank was truly an amazing person. “I swear, Frank. If I ever become even half the man you are, I’ll consider my life one well spent.”

 

“You’re a flatterer.”

 

“And you’re gonna call me if you give up your space at the shelters next time. I have a comfy ass couch with your name on it,” Dean chastised with a soft smile and a quirked brow.

 

"Yeah, yeah." Frank waved him off with a grin. "I’d rather see you offer this couch to the someone new in your life."

 

Dean rolled his eyes and laughed. “He’s got his own couch. Inside a fort and everything.”

 

Frank gave him a surprised look before he smiled brightly. "That sounds like someone who has his heart in the right place."

 

“It was my idea,” he said with a wink.

 

“But you found someone to build it with you,” Frank replied smoothly, and it was clear he also meant it metaphorically.

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “You really need to come work for me.”

 

“You’re funny, Dean.” He patted Dean’s shoulder. “You should maybe consider spending this upcoming day at that fort.”

 

“Pretty sure he wouldn’t be too happy to come home and find me having broken into his place to hide in his fort.”

 

“Asking wouldn’t work?”

 

Dean sighed, yet entirely incapable of quelling his smile. “Maybe another day.”

 

Frank hummed and nodded. “There’s always next year.”

 

Dean patted Frank on the back and finished his coffee, tossing the cup in the trash on his way into the building. It was crazy how refreshed Dean felt after talking shit out with Frank. He just wished the stubborn old bastard would take him up on his couch, or getting him a job.

 

Bela was barking something at him, and he waved her off, closing the door to his office and pulling up his yacht rock station on Pandora. He was determined to not let things like a weird disappointment and a hateful computer ruin what could otherwise be a great day.

 

He’d left his email up and when he finally faced his desktop again, he saw a new message:

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: Re: Re: I’m going to punch Excel in its dumb face_

 

_Your problem is solved! Do you have time for another visit to the FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE (yes, the capitals were necessary)? I have beer and pizza. :D_

 

 _Castiel Novak_  
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5377_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

Dean smiled as he sat back in his chair. Yeah. Today was going to be a great day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 

* * *

_To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Re: Re: Re: I’m going to punch Excel in its dumb face_

 

_ Definitely down for that. But I owe Baby a long walk when I get home first. You okay with it being a little late? Also, here’s my cell: 222-559-9035. _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Cas grinned at the mail and immediately programmed Dean’s number in his phone. It was nice to see Dean that morning. He was slightly confused how things would be between them after the weekend. 

 

In all of his years since the accident that had changed his life, he had never let another person get close to him. At least, not emotionally. He had no idea how Dean had managed to get behind his defenses.

 

Maybe it was the fort. Being inside those cardboard walls, it felt like being inside of a safe bubble where sharing something felt easier. Of course it was just an illusion, and he regretted it the minute they had needed to leave those walls, but still… on some level it felt easier that at least one person knew him a little bit better.

 

And, of course, Dean was safe. He wasn’t interested in anyone because he was still heartbroken over the person he had lost. He was emotionally unavailable and that would make him into a perfect friend. And having a friend, that was something he really missed.

 

Not to mention Dean seemed to be a good guy, obviously a part-time superhero, helping baristas and homeless people get through their life while at the same time liking Dr. Sexy. His lack of geek culture was appalling, but Cas could overlook it, especially since he spent enough time with other geeks at work.

 

He was about to write his first text to Dean to confirm that he was okay with everything when he got a text message from Inias: 

 

_ Inias: Hey, if you want to repeat of what we did this morning in the supply closet, I'm off at six. _

 

It was a very tempting offer. He wondered if he could do both. So instead of texting Inias, he wrote Dean,

 

_ Cas: Breaker, breaker! Later is okay, can you tell me how late we're talking? _

 

_ Dean: Thinking around eight? Or is that too late for you, Chuck? _

 

Eight would be perfect. Two hours would be enough time to visit Inias, fuck him senseless, and head back home. Cas quickly typed out a message to Inias,

 

_ Cas: I only have a little less than 2 hours. But we can make it count if you're down. _

 

_ Inias: Oh, no we’ll only get to fuck three times instead of five. Whatever shall I do? My place again? _

 

Cas grinned and typed back.

 

_ Cas: Yes, your place. And your ass is insatiable. _

 

He opened another message to Dean.

 

_ Cas: Eight is perfect!  _

 

_ Dean: Okay. I’ll text when I’m on my way. If that pizza has nothing but meat on it, I’ll pledge my undying servitude to you. _

 

_ Cas: What else would there be on a pizza? _

 

_ Dean: My brother only orders veggies. *shudder* _

 

_ Cas: On a pizza? What’s wrong with him? _

 

_ Dean: I blame California.  _

 

"Cas? Did you read that email from accounts about secure transactions?" Charlie asked before she smirked at him.

 

He rolled his eyes and threw a ball of paper at her head. "Don't make me come over there. I know you're just updating your minecraft server."

 

Was he really smiling that obviously that Charlie noticed that he wasn't working? He hid behind his wide screen and typed back. 

 

_ Cas: The poor guy. He doesn't know what he’s missing. _

 

_ Dean: Ah, well, more meat for me. *insert sausage smoking gay sex pun here* _

 

Cas chuckled and held his hand in front of his mouth to stifle it. Both of his muppets looked up at him. He shrugged at them. “What? I’m reading that email. It’s very… entertaining.”

 

“And the Oscar for cheap excuses goes to-o-o-o...” Charlie laughed and high-fived Kevin.

 

Cas ignored them and opened his mail program, so he would at least get a look at the mail that… didn’t exist and Charlie had totally made up. “Yep, you guys suck and I’ll get you back for that.”

 

“How?” Charlie chuckled, exchanging amused looks with Kevin.

 

“You need to take over Dean Winchester’s support tickets for the rest of the month,” he replied smoothly.

 

Charlie’s eyes widened comically. “The punishment does  _ not  _ fit the crime!”

 

“I’m chaotic evil. Look it up.” Cas shrugged before he typed back to Dean.

 

_ Cas: *insert dirty gay comeback* that I can't come up with cuz I have to fight off 2 rabid muppets. _

 

_ Dean: They’re made of felt and Battlestar Galactica references. Pretty sure you can take em. _

 

Of course Cas had to think of that one episode of _ Angel  _ then, where Angel got turned into a muppet. He had no idea if Dean would get the reference, but he couldn't stop himself from typing back,

 

_ Cas: They are made of felt and their noses comes off. It's tragic. _

 

_ Dean: I don’t understand that Angel reference. ;) _

 

_ Cas: My mistake.  _

 

He sent it before he typed another message, his thumb hovering hesitantly over the send button before he pressed it.

 

_ Cas: Looking forward to tonight. _

 

_ Dean: I bet. What are we making tonight? Treehouse? Underground bunker in case of nuclear war? _

 

_ Cas: I think we need to upgrade the fortress with a new light system. I found christmas lights in one box. _

 

_ Dean: Oh definitely. Let’s hardcore Stranger Things this bitch. _

 

_ Cas: Any other ideas how to upgrade the fortress? _

 

_ Dean: Velcro to hold back the sheets when we’re watching Dr. Sexy and a no girls allowed sign. _

 

_ Cas: The sign won't be a problem. I don't know if we still have velcro at the workshop. _

 

_ Dean: I can hit a hardware store on my way over. _

 

_ Cas: Perfect. See you at 8 ;) _

 

It was time he got some real work done. For a quick moment he almost regretted that he had a “date” with Inias beforehand. He told himself it was just because it was a lot for one night, but there was a spark of defiancé inside of him, that he needed to prove to himself that Dean was just a friend and nothing more, and that he just wanted to have sex with Inias because that was who he was. The no strings attached guy. And Inias was exactly what he needed. 

 

“You really like that guy, huh?” Kevin asked with an amused chuckle.

 

"Yeah." Cas shrugged. "He’s surprisingly nice, and it's fun to hang out with him."

 

Kevin and Charlie shared a bemused look before Charlie asked, “Why is it surprising? Didn’t you basically pick him up?”

 

"I wouldn't say I picked him up, we – " Cas stopped with a thoughtful head tilt. "You're talking about Inias." 

 

“Yeah,” Charlie said with a bemused laugh, “who did  _ you  _ think we were talking about?”

 

"Um..." Cas looked down at his screen and wondered if he had sounded like he was interested in Dean. Maybe a little bit. "No one," he murmured.

 

Kevin snorted into his tea and rolled his eyes. “Oh, that was totally believable.”

 

Whereas Charlie practically squealed as she moved to kneel on her chair, bracing her hands against the back of it, leaning in with a cat who ate the canary grin. “Who’s making you smile like that?”

 

"Smile like what?" Cas frowned at her over the screen. "I'm not smiling. Not even a little bit."

 

In that moment, his phone dinged with a text message.

 

_ Dean: Also, I’m looking forward to tonight too. See you later. _

 

“That smile!” Charlie barked. “Exactly that smile that you’re doing right now!”

 

Cas quickly looked up and sucked his cheeks into his mouth, looking like a fish. "Whut mile?"

 

Charlie quirked her brow and gave him an incredulous look. She sighed and turned back around to face her desk. “You suck.”

 

“Is it Dean?” Kevin asked with a smile. “Because you said we would be surprised and you’re the only one who likes going up to fix the damage he causes on a daily basis.”

 

Cas glared over his screen. “So what if I’m… friends with Dean. The guy isn’t so bad once you get to know him.”

 

_ Oh, fuck. _ He was friends with Dean, wasn’t he? When did that happen? How did that happen? 

 

Kevin scoffed and nodded to Charlie. “Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.”

 

“I'm in awe of your sleuthing talents, Master Tran.” Charlie bowed to Kevin with a chuckle.

 

_ “Just _ friends,” Cas repeated, feeling the need to defend himself. He tried to not think about that need too much.

 

“So a friend makes you smile like that?” Charlie teased. 

 

“Yeah?” Cas glared over at Charlie. “So?” So Dean made him happy… as a friend. Nothing wrong with that.

 

Charlie shrugged. “Nothing,” she remarked in a higher pitch.

 

Kevin started humming quietly, "Cas and Dean, sitting in a tree. K-I-S – "

 

Cas threw another crumpled-up paper directly at his head. "Okay, showtime's over."

 

Cas shook his head and pouted for a moment behind his screen, wondering if those muppets were right. He squinted his eyes at the screen without seeing anything before his gaze fell back to his cell phone. 

 

_ Also, I’m looking forward to tonight too. See you later. _

 

He caught himself smiling again.  _ Fuck…  _ He decided that meeting Inias beforehand had been a brilliant idea. Maybe he was just horny and Dean was hot. He just needed it to get out of his system because he was starting to confuse emotional closeness with something more. 

 

Yeah, that was it. Two hours with Inias and he would be as good as new.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas startled when he glanced at his phone and realized that Dean would be in front of his door in probably ten minutes and he was still naked, holding Inias in his arms  –  who was barely conscious anymore. There was even a message from Dean, telling him that he was on his way.

 

“Fuck,” he cursed and nearly pushed Inias from the bed as he jumped up and texted back. 

 

_ Cas: On my way back home. Sorry, I might be running a few minutes late. _

 

Inias shook his head and blinked tiredly. “Where’s the fire?”

 

"Sorry, handsome." He leaned over to press a kiss to Inias's forehead. "I have to go. Meeting up with someone from work and I'm running late, because some bad boy made me forget the time."

 

His phone made another noise for an incoming message that he read while quickly pulling up his pants.

 

_ Dean: No worries. Need me to grab anything else? To keep me busy? _

 

_ Fuck. _ Did he have enough beer? He had wanted to grab some on his way home. He scrubbed his hand over his face before he typed,

 

_ Cas: Beer? I might not have enough at home. _

 

Inias chuckled and sprawled himself out tantalizingly. “You sure? I bet he can’t do for you what I can?” he teased. 

 

_ Dean: Any particular beer? Or go in blindly and grab at random? _

 

Cas already felt torn with where to look first. "You're a siren." He leaned over to draw Inias into a deep kiss, murmuring against his lips, "And he definitely can't do for me what you can. But I still have to go." 

 

He leaned back and texted,

 

_ Cas: Whatever you like. _

 

"Have you seen my shirt?" Cas looked around Inias's bedroom with a frown.

 

Inias leaned over the bed and grabbed Cas’s shirt from the ground with a chuckle. “Here.” 

 

He didn't give it to Cas though, instead he used it to lure Cas back on the bed. Cas chuckled and crawled over him, pushing him into the bed with a deep kiss before he stole back his shirt and pulled it over his head. "You're insatiable. Did I tell you that?"

 

“And you’re no fun,” he said with a pout.

 

Cas tapped Inias's nose with his finger. "Pretty sure you don't mean that when I distinctly remember how much fun you had, three times today.”

 

He pulled Inias up from the bed and pulled him into his arms, burying his fingers into his hair before he kissed him again. “Are you free tomorrow night?”

 

“Depends,” he purred against his lips. 

 

“On what?” Cas licked over Inias's lips and lightly pinched his ass.

 

Inias batted his eyelashes and moaned softly as he cupped Cas’s cock over his jeans. “On if you’re going to ditch me for a boring, old coworker again.”

 

It was not very likely Dean would want to spend two days in a row with him. "No way, handsome. You get my full attention... all night long," he purred back.

 

Inias licked along the seam of his lips and gently shoved him away. “Okay. I get off at eight, working the mid shift. Go hang out with your boring coworker.”

 

Cas tilted his head and raised his eyebrow. "Careful there, handsome. You almost sound jealous."

 

“No, just horny.” Inias chuckled and pressed a kiss to Cas’s lips again and moved to lay down. “So, tomorrow?”

 

Cas let his gaze wander over Inias's naked body with a wistful sigh. "Yeah, definitely tomorrow."

 

He grabbed his jacket and winked at Inias before he quickly left his apartment and jogged down the stairwell. He hated being late. When he hopped into his car and checked the rearview mirror, he froze slightly. Not only did his hair look like he fought off a tornado and lost, but Inias had left a fucking hickey on his throat.

 

He sighed and rolled his eyes. He could already hear his muppets teasing him for it tomorrow. Wearing a scarf would probably make it worse. 

 

Cas didn’t speed on his way home, but it was close. Dean’s car was already parked on his street when he arrived.  _ Damn it. _

 

He parked behind him and quickly walked up to the car, knocking on Dean's window to get his attention, because he seemed to be focused on something on his phone.

 

Dean smiled and put his phone away as he opened the door. “Just got here. Didn’t see your creeper van so I was about to text you. Are – “ He stopped mid sentence as he appeared to take in Cas’s appearance. He quirked his brow and said, “Dude, if you had plans, we could have done this another night.” He chuckled.

 

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "What? No, no. I... um... Let's just go inside."

 

_ Smooth, Cas.  _ Cas rolled his eyes over his own sarcastic brain.

 

Dean hip checked him as he handed Cas a six pack of a beer he’d never seen before. “Sinner,” he teased.

 

Cas quickly tried to change the subject as they walked up to his apartment. "Never seen this beer before."

 

“Me either. But it’s named after Eliot Ness, so I couldn’t pass it up.”

 

Cas smirked at him as he let Dean inside of his apartment. "You got a weakness for  _ The Untouchables?" _

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “You don’t even know.”

 

“Why am I not surprised?” Cas chuckled when he made his way over to the kitchen and opened two beers for them before he threw his jacket over his chair. He scrunched up his nose as he smelled himself. "Make yourself at home, I’ll just change my clothes quickly."

 

“I’m gonna get the velcro thing situated,” Dean affirmed as he took a swig of his beer and pulled the velcro out of the hardware store bag. 

 

"Perfect," Cas mumbled before he put his beer down and quickly walked to his shower and undressed. It was probably the quickest shower in human history, but he really didn't want to smell like a sex addict, sitting next to Dean on the couch. 

 

When he pulled up his jeans again he noticed that he had forgotten to take a new shirt with him from his bedroom. How high were the chances that Dean wouldn't look up and see him with scratches and bruises all over his chest from Inias going all wildcat on him?

 

Well, he had to be really quiet then. He carefully opened the bathroom door to step out, already trying to sneak through the living room and to his bedroom when Dean looked up.

 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he chuckled, shaking his head. “Either you have a cat I don’t know about or…”

 

Cas looked down at himself and sighed before he quickly vanished into his bedroom to throw on a shirt. "Yeah, cat is pretty accurate," he replied dryly as he joined Dean in the living room again, admiring the work he had done. "You're already finished."

 

“Yup, get the work done first so I can eat pizza and drink beer inside a friggin’ fort.” 

 

"Oh, I forgot about the lights." Cas suddenly remembered and went back to his bedroom to get the christmas lights he had found. "Maybe we can tape it under the box roof?"

 

Dean nodded. “I bet that could work.”

 

Cas gave Dean the lights to untangle before he went over to the kitchen to put the pizza in the oven. When he returned to Dean he couldn’t help but laugh at Dean’s indignant face, trying to untangle the cable. He tried to help him, their fingers brushing over each other, and he grinned at him. “If we end up bound together it's not my fault.”

 

Dean chuckled as he swung a string around Cas’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “I’ve heard of bonding, but this is ridiculous.”

 

Cas chuckled before he wrapped the lights around Dean’s waist. “Not sure if I'm ready to get tied.”

 

Grabbing another handful of the twisted cord of lights, Dean wrapped it around the crown of Cas’s head. “Bet if we plug you in, you’ll look like an angel. Halo and all.” 

 

“I’m no angel," Cas replied as he pulled Dean close and growled in his ear. "And I'm the one who does the plugging." He waggled his eyebrows at Dean before he started to untangle the lights for real. 

 

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Oh, I can tell,” he said as he flicked the hickey on Cas’s neck.

 

Cas scrunched up his nose and rubbed over the area with his hand. "I swear a little bit longer and he would have cut me into little Cas-pieces. Then you’d need to glue me together again."

 

“Yeah, I saw those scratches. Didn’t think people did that in real life,” Dean teased as he grabbed the duct tape and started ripping off little strips. 

 

"I didn't even notice he used me as a scratching post until much later. And yes, people do that." Cas finished untangling the last part of the christmas lights and held it up triumphantly. "Tada!"

 

Dean chuckled and nodded for Cas to follow him into the fort. “Hey, man. Whatever floats your boat. I’m more into biting.”

 

"Yeah, me too." Cas grinned as he followed Dean into the fort, handing him the lights section by section for him to tape along the roof. "But I take the scratching as a compliment."

 

“I’ll remind Benny of that next time Baby accidentally scratches him.”

 

Cas laughed at that and shook his head. “Not sure he will see it that way.”

 

Dean shrugged. “He should, it’s only because she gets stupid excited when she sees him and doesn’t realize she’s an eighty pound lab mix, not a goddamn chihuahua.”

 

“How long have you been friends with Benny?” Cas asked curiously.

 

That was met with a contemplative hum before he said, “Maybe six years? Not long after I started working at Smith and Wesson. He’s a good guy. Kind of a manwhore, but he’s got a good heart.”

 

“A manwhore?” Cas chuckled before he squeezed the cable through the boxes and outside, so he could plug in the lights.

 

Dean followed him out of the fort. “Yeah. It’s ‘cause… Okay, I’m about to get gossipy, so please ignore that aspect of what I’m about to tell you…” He chuckled and continued, “He’s got a thing for Andrea at work, she’s an HR rep, not sure if you’ve met her yet? But yeah, so he’s too chickenshit to ask her out, so he bangs anything that moves to cope or something.”

 

Cas plugged in the lights before he gave Dean a skeptic look. "The same Benny that I met in your office?"

 

“The one and only.”

 

"But that guy is a real looker! I seriously didn't peg him as having a confidence problem," Cas replied in surprise.

 

Dean shrugged. “Pretty men can have confidence problems too.”

 

"That's true." Cas started the TV and found his latest recording of Dr. Sexy. "The pizza will be ready in another ten minutes. Wanna cuddle on the couch and chill with Dr. Sexy as long as we're waiting?"

 

“Sure, but I’m the big spoon this time.”

 

"We both know that's not what you want." Cas chuckled before he flipped the entrance open so they could watch TV and sprawled himself out on the couch.

 

To his surprise, Dean managed to slide him up enough to get under him, his legs bracketed around Cas’s hips as he wrapped an arm around Cas’s chest. “Big, bad tops can be little spoons. No need to not embrace it.”

 

Cas chuckled and started the episode, leaning back into Dean's warmth. "Who said I can't embrace it? You're pretty cozy as a couch pillow."

 

There was a pleasant reverberation against his back as Dean chuckled. “Good to know.”

 

Actually it was so cozy, he knew he needed to be really careful to not fall asleep again. "You’ll wake me up if I fall asleep, right?"

 

Dean leaned over to look down at him. “Do you want me to go? So you can get some sleep?”

 

Cas turned slightly on the couch to look up at him.  _ Huh, were Dean's eyes always so green?  _ "No, if I sleep now, I’ll wake up at three in the morning and I really looked forward to this."

 

That was met with a warm smile. Dean nodded. “Alright. You’re gonna have to get up and get the pizza soon anyway.”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose again. "But I just found the perfect position," he whined.

 

Dean chuckled. “I have a geek attached to my chest, so I can’t get it.”

 

Cas snuggled closer and smiled up at him. "That sounds like a serious condition."

 

“It is. But my health insurance doesn’t cover geekectomies.”

 

“What a shame. I guess you’ll have to live with it then.” Cas grinned, resting his head on Dean’s arm. This was really nice. While he hummed the opening melody of Dr. Sexy along with the TV he wondered if this was what happiness felt like.

 

Dean let out a surprised sounding huff of breath. “Shit, I can’t remember the last time I cuddled with a human.” He chuckled.

 

“For a moment I thought you usually cuddled with an alien before I remembered you have a dog.” Cas chuckled and turned to Dean. “I really want to meet him at some point.”

 

“Her,” Dean corrected and he smiled down at Cas. “If your fort is dog friendly, maybe next time I won’t have to come as late if I bring her with me? You’re welcome at my place, but I don’t have a fort.”

 

“Then just bring her with you next time,” Cas suggested. He liked dogs. But mostly he wanted to spend more time with Dean.

 

Dean smiled and nodded. “Okay, I will. Oh!” He shuffled slightly as he pulled something out of his pocket. It was a folded piece of paper that turned out to be a flyer for some sort of art show. “Saw this and I thought of you. There’s an art show this weekend and all of the artists are local people with disabilities. Thought you might want to check it out, maybe send some pics to your brother.”

 

For a moment Cas didn't know what to say. Sam was a touchy subject for him and he still had no idea why he had told Dean about him. 

 

He took in a shuddered breath and nodded tersely. "Yeah, thanks, that's a nice thought." He took the flyer and looked up at Dean. "Would you go with me?"

 

“You want me to?” he asked with a sweet smile.

 

"Yeah," he breathed out before he wondered if it sounded like a date. No, Dean wouldn't think that. He knew Cas didn't do dates and Dean didn't either. They were just two friends going to an art show.

 

To his luck the alarm for the pizza went off and he sighed. "Ugh, and there goes my cozy spot."

 

Dean chuckled and gently helped him sit up. “Feed me, Seymour!”

 

"Creepy ass plant." Cas laughed as he tried to tickle him before he left the fort to get the pizza. It was super hot and of course he stupidly burned his fingers on the oven as he divided the pizza on both plates. He carried the plates back over with one hand, sucking the injured finger of his other hand in his mouth as he sat down on the couch again, awkwardly handing Dean his plate.

 

“Dude, I know it’s only been half an hour since you got to suck a dick, but there’s probably better substitutes than your finger,” he teased as he sat up and took his plate. 

 

Cas gave him a pointed look. "I burned my finger on the oven... and I didn't suck any dick," he mumbled around his finger.

 

Dean chuckled and leaned forward to grab him by the wrist, gently wrestling Cas’s finger from his mouth. He looked it over and grabbed his beer, pressing the cold bottle to his finger. “Gotta use cold on a burn. Not a warm tongue.”

 

Cas gave him a playfully pained look. "Are you playing Dr. Sexy with me?"

 

Dean rolled his eyes and let him go to grab his food. “If I was,  _ I’d  _ be the one sucking on your finger.”

 

Cas waggled his eyebrows and purred at Dean before he chuckled and started to eat his pizza as the episode started. Dr. Dan was heavily featured and he was already liking it a lot. "I hope we get a shirtless scene."

 

Dean did a half shrug-half nod and said, “I heard someone’s gonna die this episode. Although, who knows how long that will last with this show.”

 

Cas turned to Dean with wide eyes. "It's not Dr. Dan, right? Tell me it's not Dr. Dan."

 

“No idea, I haven’t seen it yet. I waited to watch it with you. But they  _ are  _ going more into his backstory in this episode. You know how that works.”

 

Cas gave him a pained look and slid closer to Dean. He felt colder now that they weren't cuddling anymore. "Don't say that."

 

Dean clapped a hand on his knee and gently rubbed. “It’s not like he’d stay dead if it was him. They never keep the main cast dead longer than an episode or two.”

 

Cas looked down at his knee, biting his lower lip. "I don't feel that, Dean. The other one's okay, but I don't have any feeling in my right knee."

 

He furrowed his brow and retracted his hand. “You okay?”

 

"Yeah, it's an old injury. It's nothing bad, I just can’t feel it if someone touches me there," Cas explained quietly, trying not to think of the accident and instead focus on the episode.

 

“Oh,” he breathed out. Cas braced himself for the litany of unwelcome questions that usually followed.  _ What happened? Why not? What kind of injury?  _ Instead Dean leaned over and patted his left knee, a little awkwardly. “Like I said, if they kill Dr. Dan, he’ll be brought back,” he said with a smile as he drew back and grabbed his beer.

 

Cas leaned against him. "I hope it's just that and not the actor of Dr. Dan quitting the show 'cause he found something better." Cas sighed and bit his lower lip for a moment before he said, "It was a car accident. The same one my brother got injured... It was a long time ago."

 

What was up with this fort that he felt the need to tell Dean this stuff? But he knew he didn't regret it because Dean was still next to him, close and warm. And not going anywhere.

 

“Shit, man.” Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’s shoulder and gently rubbed his arm. “I’m sorry, Cas.”

 

Cas leaned against him and closed his eyes. "It was almost ten years ago... It's weird how just a few seconds can ruin someone's life forever."

 

Dean let out a mirthless laugh. “Too fucking true.”

 

It was then that Dr. Dan got into a car accident. Cas just stared at the TV before he shook his head, murmuring, "Fuck, no."

 

Dean leaned forward and turned the TV off. He pulled Cas against him, gently rubbing his shoulder, not saying anything. 

 

Cas let it happen for one weak moment before he leaned back, not looking at him. "Um, do you want another beer? Or maybe something stronger?"

 

“I can grab it,” he offered as he moved to stand. “Need another slice too?” Dean held his hand out for Cas’s plate. 

 

Cas shook his head and handed Dean his empty plate before he leaned back against the couch. "Whiskey is in the cupboard over the sink." 

 

“Straight? Or do you want a chaser?”

 

Cas stood up and left the fort to join Dean in the kitchen. “Straight,” he mumbled before he stepped behind Dean and rested his chin on his shoulder.

 

Dean tilted his head slightly to rest it against Cas’s. “Hey,” he murmured softly.

 

He wrapped his arms around Dean to pull him closer. “Thank you,” he murmured against his shoulder. “For being here.”

 

Dean held Cas’s arms against his chest, almost standing up spooning. “Anytime.”

 

Cas nudged his nose against the nape of Dean's neck, taking in the smell of his shampoo, sandalwood and something else, before he stood up straight to get his glass of whiskey from him. "We should watch something non dramatic..."

 

Dean turned and smiled. “Have anything in mind?”

 

“Something animated and funny?” he suggested, grabbing Dean’s wrist to pull him back to the fort. 

 

_ “Archer _ it is,” he said as he gently took Cas’s glass from him to take a sip of the whiskey. Dean’s grin was a little cocky.

 

"Are you stealing my whiskey?" Cas asked with a predatory grin before he walked Dean back inside of the fort with a few playful, gentle pushes.

 

Dean shook his head, lips pursed. “Never. You’re imagining things,” he said as he took another sip.

 

Cas gasped before he pushed Dean down on the couch and sat down on his lap to trap him, taking back his glass of whiskey to take a sip. "And I would have shared it with you if you would have asked nicely."

 

“I didn’t need to ask, I already took,” he returned with a smirk.

 

"Shameless thief." Cas smirked and took another sip from his glass before holding it towards Dean. "Whatever should I do with you now that you're caught and confessed?"

 

“Let me have another sip?” he suggested.

 

Cas grinned and carefully held the glass to Dean's lips to feed him another sip of the whiskey. "Does that mean you’ll behave now, or are you going to steal my glass again?"

 

Dean chuckled and quirked his brow. “I always behave.”

 

"My half empty glass says otherwise."

 

Without missing a beat, Dean took the glass and finished it in one gulp. He offered the empty glass back to Cas. “Now it’s completely empty.”

 

Cas gasped at him before he pouted. "Now I have to get up again." He shook his head. "That was not nice."

 

“You  _ know _ I’m not nice.”

 

"Yeah, whoever said that didn't know you at all." Cas shook his head before he glanced at his glass. "Well, except for when it comes to petty whiskey thievery."

 

Dean chuckled. “Don’t you dare tell anyone. I like that people at work think I’m mean.”

 

“Why?” Cas asked with a head tilt.

 

“Well, I  _ do _ like yelling at people, but it’s mostly because… well… it’s easier,” he confessed.

 

Cas touched Dean's cheek and rubbed his thumb over his skin before he nodded and got up from his (very comfortable) position on Dean's lap. "Yeah, I totally get that. I’ll bring the bottle over here, alright?" 

 

Dean gave him a soft smile. “Sounds good.”

 

Cas more or less stumbled out of the fort on his way to getting the bottle from the kitchen. What the fuck was he doing? They were pretty handsy with each other, and Cas knew this was a bad idea, but he hadn’t felt this good in forever. And it was nearly impossible to make healthy life choices when you found yourself tipsy and in a mood where your life and consequences of your actions were stashed deep in the darkest dungeon corner of your mind.

 

When Cas crawled back into the fort he chuckled and waved the bottle at him as he joined him again on the couch, sitting so close that at least half of their bodies were pressed together. “Do you still have the glass?”

 

Dean looked around and shrugged. “No idea where it went.”

 

“That’s weird,” Cas murmured and leaned over Dean, bracing himself on his leg to look on the other side of the couch. It really was gone. “Huh, well I'm not leaving the fort again.” He gave Dean a smirk as turned to look at him. When did they get so close? “Guess you have to steal the bottle from me,” he whispered breathlessly.

 

“I planned on doing that anyway.” Dean winked at him.

 

“Oh, yeah, how are you going to do that?” Cas asked before he hid the bottle behind his back, sliding slightly away from Dean until his back came in contact with the armrest.

 

Dean didn’t move a muscle. He arched his brow and shrugged. “You’ll end up giving it to me,” he said with the same confidence he’d seen him exude at work when yelling at his subordinates.

 

Just that Cas wasn't Dean’s subordinate, and he was neither easily intimidated, nor impressed. He slowly pulled the bottle out and drank some of it with a raised eyebrow. “You want some, come and get it.” Cas smirked.

 

Dean stretched his arms over his head, causing his shirt to ride up, revealing his lower abdomen. He arched his back as the stretch got deeper, the shirt riding up more as his hips bucked up. Dean let out an almost indecent groan as he continued to put on this show. Which is what it was. A show. But if Cas was honest, it was a damn good one.

 

When the stretching was done, Dean looked up at him through dark blond lashes, lips curled up in a hopeful smile. “Thought you liked giving it, not getting it?”

 

He had no idea how many dirty thoughts and ideas passed through his brain. Most of them had something to do with licking up whiskey from somewhere off of Dean’s body. Cas licked over his lips and crawled closer to Dean. “That’s true… and you look like the sexiest honeytrap I have ever seen.” He hovered over Dean, carding his fingers through his hair before he handed him the bottle. “And that show you just did deserves a reward.”

 

Dean took it with a satisfied grin, making it a point to hold Cas’s gaze as he drew the bottle to his lips. He took a large swig and a pink tongue darted out to capture the droplets that escaped. He held the bottle out again and said, “Sex sells. Case in point.”

 

Cas only wanted to taste the whiskey from Dean’s lips. He still held his gaze as he took the bottle and made a show of drinking a sip too. Slowly licking over his lips to chase the taste. “You’re the expert in marketing,” he murmured.

 

“Exactly. If you want people to buy shit, whether it’s a burger, a bottle of whiskey,” he said as he leaned up, drawing closer and taking the bottle back, his fingers grazing Cas’s in the process, “or your own bullshit, you gotta use sex. Because deep down, we’re all still animals.” Dean took another sip, a little of it dribbling down his chin and neck, almost reaching the hollow of his throat.

 

Cas leaned closer, breathing shallow as he used his fingertips to sensually and slowly wipe away the wet line of whiskey, tracing it over Dean’s skin before he pressed his fingers against Dean’s lips. “You’re a messy drinker,” he murmured.

 

Dean licked the pad of Cas’s thumb and smirked. “I know.”

 

Cas pressed his thumb against lips for a moment before he retracted his hand and leaned back. "Damn, you're like a siren."

 

That was met with a chuckle. “No, I’m a marketing director.”

 

“Are you sure?” Cas squinted his eyes at him with a chuckle.

 

“Just because they’re basically the same thing. Sirens lure sailors to their deaths, marketing and advertising execs lure unwitting consumers to purchase shit they don’t need. Tomato, tomahto. Doesn’t mean I am one. Besides, I’m not a very good singer.”

 

“And you hopefully don't wanna lure me into an untimely demise.” He held the bottle out for him after another sip. “You just want this.”

 

Dean smirked, he grazed his fingers again over Cas’s as he took it. “Exactly.”

 

Cas smiled at him before he switched on the TV and selected  _ Archer,  _ like Dean had suggested. He slid next to Dean and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close, before he took the bottle again for another sip. He used his thumb to rub soft circles on the back of Dean’s neck, humming, “Do you have anything planned for the coming weekend?”

 

“Thought I was invited to see an art show?” he said with a chuckle.

 

“Yeah, but technically you never answered my question… so I just wanted to be sure,” he finished awkwardly, sighing deeply before he leaned his head against the top of the backrest.

 

Dean tapped his arm. “What’s up?”

 

Cas turned his head to face Dean. “I think I'm tired.” He wasn't really, but Dean was giving him mixed signals and all he could think about was undressing the man and having him on the couch, inside of their cozy little fort. Because apparently what happened inside the fort, stayed in the fort.

 

“Want me to head out?”

 

“You shouldn't drive anywhere.” He blinked at Dean. “Do you want to sleep here?” he asked, not knowing why he was torturing himself.

 

Dean smiled and shook his head. “That’s why they invented Lyft.”

 

Cas hummed and wrapped his arms around him to pull him close. “Inconvenient for my pillow and warmth supply situation, but I guess you have a point.”

 

“So am I leaving or…” 

 

Cas pressed his face against Dean’s throat with a mixed whiny and frustrated noise before he leaned back and set Dean free, looking away. “I guess.”

 

Dean chuckled and gently tugged Cas’s hair. “Come on. You got one hell of a work out before I got here. You need rest.”

 

Cas chuckled lowly, leaning into Dean’s hand like a cat starving for attention. “A work out that was for nothing since you obliterated my contentment with your sexy teasing.”

 

Dean shook his head, smile still on his lips. “Your stamina is impressive.”

 

Cas shook his head with a grin. “It helps a lot when it's someone…” He rubbed his thumb over Dean's bottom lip. “Attractive.”

 

“I don’t know. I think you hit on everyone. You  _ are _ pan.” Dean gently bit Cas’s thumb.

 

Cas slid his other hand to the back of Dean’s neck, caressing him as he slowly shook his head. “I’m not choosy about gender, but for all the rest I'm actually very picky… You just tick a fuck ton of boxes.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Like what?”

 

Cas closed his eyes for a moment and took in a deep shuddered breath before he leaned back and shook his head. “Not going to answer that unless your intention is to let me fuck you up against the next wall or bend you over this couch.” He slid away a little bit further. “And I'm pretty sure that's not what you want.”

 

Dean sighed and sat up a little more. “It’s not that it’s not appealing.”

 

Cas gave him a half smile. “But you're not looking for someone and even if you were, I doubt it would be someone with a no strings attached policy.”

 

“No. In both cases. But… I don’t know, I have fun hanging out with you.”

 

“I have fun, too. I actually can't remember the last time I really talked to someone… you make things easier somehow.” Cas looked down at his lap. “So we shouldn’t mess this up.”

 

Dean nodded. “And you don’t plan on staying.”

 

“You look disappointed,” Cas stated with a soft smile.

 

“What can I say?” Dean said with a shrug, “I haven’t enjoyed spending time with someone like this in a minute.”

 

“You have other friends. Like Benny.”

 

Dean nodded. “He’s great, but… I don’t do shit like this with him.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I couldn’t imagine trying to get him to build a fort.”

 

“I'm sorry, Dean.” Cas bit his lower lip with a frown. “I… I'm not sure what to do. I never had someone like you in my life.” He took in another deep breath. “I'm not going to stay… Maybe it's better if we don't see each other too often. I already care for you, and I don't want to hurt you.”

 

That was met with a soft sigh as Dean drew back. “And you wouldn’t want to try and stay in contact after you move?” he asked as he leaned forward, bracing his elbows against his knees.

 

Cas looked down and bit his lip, shaking his head before he whispered, "I'm not good luck, Dean. It's better if you don't keep me in your life. I only end up hurting the people around me."

 

“That’s not what I asked.” Dean sighed and turned to look at him. “If you don’t want to continue this friendship because of your own preferences, your own wishes, that’s fine. I can respect that. But don’t make decisions for me. Besides,” he said as he gave Cas a pointed look, “I don’t believe in curses.”

 

Cas looked away again. “Well, I don’t want to hurt any more people… Just believe me on this... You will end up hating me.”

 

Dean gripped his chin and drew his focus and attention back to him. “Cryptic comments about how all you do is hurt people without any explanation as to why doesn’t make you  _ less _ interesting.”

 

His eyes were burning and he hated being so emotional. Why had he decided getting drunk with Dean was a good idea? “Because it was my fault,” he whispered. “The car accident with my brother… was my fault. And I only made things worse after that. Until my brother told me I should go… and leave Sam in his care.”

 

There was a beat of silence before Dean finally spoke, “Can I ask you something?”

 

Cas nodded slowly, swallowing dryly before he bit his lower lip to keep his emotions in check.

 

“Did you intentionally cause the accident? Whatever happened, however it happened; did you intentionally crash the car?”

 

Cas looked down. “Of course not, I didn’t want this to happen, but I was reckless. My brother… Gabriel told me to wait for him, that he would pick up Sam from the train station, because he told me I should sleep. I hadn’t slept in over a day… but I really wanted to get Sam, because I couldn’t wait for him to see my dorm at MIT… And Gabriel was right. I… fell asleep on the way back home.”

 

Dean furrowed his brow and shook his head. “I can’t imagine me telling you it’s not your fault isn’t something you haven’t already heard over and over and over. That’s how guilt works, but I can tell you this:  _ I _ don’t think it’s your fault, I only see a man who loves his brother so much, he’s sacrificing his own happiness because he thinks it’s the right thing to do. So if your reason for not wanting to be friends was because you assumed I’d want nothing to do with you if I knew the truth… you are way off fucking base.”

 

Cas shook his head slowly. "I tried having a girlfriend once… a year after, you know. She dumped me because my brother always comes first in my life. People start like they can understand the situation and blah blah, but after a while they become selfish… and tell you not to mope around and… spend all your money on your brother’s bills.”

 

Dean let out a soft huff of laughter. “Fuck people like that. You don’t have to choose between friends and family. At least, you never would with me.”

 

"Yeah, she said the same thing... I guess I just stopped trusting people at some point. It's easier being alone... where I don't have to justify myself." He shrugged. "For acting out from time to time for example... or when depression hits too hard again."

 

“Well, if you’re convinced I’m just like some insipid girl in regards to understanding and being supportive, despite the fact that I’m an almost widower, then I can’t convince you.” Dean sighed and moved to stand. “If you ever change your mind, you know how to get ahold of me.”

 

Cas grabbed his wrist to hold him back. “So what you’re telling me is, that you would never judge me? Because you don’t want another committed relationship either?” 

 

“What I’m telling you is, you never have to choose between your brother and me. Do with that what you will,” Dean said with a shrug.

 

Cas hadn't trusted anyone in forever. And it was hard to just believe Dean's words. But there was something inside him that, for the first time, wanted to believe in someone again.

 

He sighed and looked away for a second before he murmured, "Okay..." He rubbed his thumb over Dean's warm wrist (that he hadn't let go of the whole time) before he looked up at Dean and pulled him closer. "Would you stay a little bit longer?"

 

Dean smiled as he moved to sit on the couch. “If you want me to.”

 

Cas nodded and leaned back with him on the couch. “I really do… Although it’s maybe not a great idea, cause I feel… drunk.”

 

That was met with a soft chuckle. “I promise I won’t take advantage of you.”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow with a chuckle. "Not worried about you... although you don't make this very easy with your mixed signals."

 

Dean smiled and shrugged. “Trust me, if I didn’t have my hang ups and we didn’t work together, they wouldn’t be mixed.”

 

“So you don’t want to have sex with me because…” Cas scrunched up his nose. “We work together? Because random sex is still something you do from time to time, right?”

 

Dean gave him a pointed look. “I associate random sex with people I don’t give a damn about. And for some reason, you don’t qualify.”

 

“I’m not sure if I should be happy or disappointed by that,” Cas replied after a moment with a grin.

 

“Go with happy.”

 

"You say that..." Cas tapped Dean's lower lip with his thumb. "But then you don't have to look at those every day, wondering how they feel."

 

Dean chuckled. “For all you know, I could be a  _ terrible _ kisser.”

 

“I doubt that very much,” Cas replied without thinking, carding his fingers gently through Dean’s hair.

 

“I might lick your face. Only kissing experience I’ve had over the past couple years has been with Baby.”

 

"If you’re worried that you can't kiss anymore, I offer myself as a test subject," Cas teased.

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

"It was worth a try. Even if you just lick my face," Cas replied, slightly disappointed before he winked at Dean and wrapped his arm around him. "So what are we going to do with this weird evening?"

 

“Watch  _ Archer _ and pretend there isn’t sexual tension between us?” Dean suggested with a chuckle.

 

"I'm good at repressing." Cas chuckled before he leaned against Dean's shoulder.

 

“Something else we have in common.”

 

“You wanna talk about it?” Cas asked after a while, only half watching the animated series.

 

Dean quirked his brow when he looked down at him. “Talk about what, exactly?”

 

Cas looked up at him, caressing Dean’s arm. “You never told me what happened… I mean you don’t have to… just you know, you had to listen to my bleeding heart.”

 

Dean’s breathing seemed a little ragged as he took a few slow, deep breaths. After a beat he said, “His name was Aaron. He was… unlike anyone I’d ever met. That’s such a friggin’ cliche, but they’re called cliches for a reason, right? Anyway, three years into living together, I pop the question. For some reason he says yes and our wedding is planned for September twenty second, four years ago. And you know why? It’s friggin’ Hobbit day apparently.” Dean laughed fondly and shook his head. “He loved those damn books.”

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him, giving him a soft, encouraging smile to go on. He would never admit it out loud, but talking about his past with Dean had helped him. In a way he felt less tense.

 

“And a couple weeks before the wedding, I’m on the phone with him as I’m getting ready to come home. He’s asking me to pick up something when…”

 

With a steeling breath, Dean looked up at the ceiling as he finished, “He starts making this awful gurgling sound, and he’s not answering me. I had to choose between keeping him on the phone or hanging up on him and calling 9-1-1. So I hung up and tried to get an ambulance to him. If I’d have known it was the last time I was gonna get to talk to him…” Dean let out a mirthless chuckle and shook his head.

 

“You would have felt guilty for the rest of your life if you hadn't called an ambulance. You did everything you could, which is probably also something you hear a lot from your friends,” Cas replied softly, carding his fingers through Dean’s hair.

 

“And I know that. I know. But… yeah. Turned out he had some undiagnosed cardiomyopathy and that was it. The man I loved was gone.”

 

“I’m sorry this happened to you,” Cas murmured against Dean’s hair. He never loved anyone in his life except for his family. Imagining that Sam could have died in that car accident… No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t imagine how this must have felt for Dean.

 

Dean sighed and wrapped his arms around Cas. “Not your fault.”

 

Cas gave him a pointed look. "I know, that's not why I said it. It's just... I could totally imagine you, already being married and having the perfect life. I'm sorry life sucks. You deserve better."

 

“So do you,” he whispered.

 

Cas shrugged and leaned closer to Dean, pressing his nose against his hair. “Do you think it will get better for you at some point? That you’ll find someone to love again?”

 

Dean sighed again. “I’m not thinking about it to be honest.”

 

Cas nodded slowly. “Plus you already have a Baby in your life. What else do you need?”

 

“I don’t know. Having something like this,” he said as he waved between them, “is a helluva lot better than loneliness.”

 

Cas closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Dean's head. "Well, you got me," he murmured.

 

“For now,” he returned quietly.

 

Cas sighed deeply, biting his lower lip. “I might stay this time… actually, I’m seriously considering it for the first time.”

 

“I’ll believe it when our fort gets smaller,” he teased.

 

“I’m serious. They pay really well. I doubt I’ll find something where I earn more money,” Cas told him, which was only one of the reasons he would love to stay. Also because he liked his muppets and he really wanted to keep Dean as a friend. Even though it still felt risky to open himself up to any kind of relationship again.

 

Dean smiled. “And dealing with hopeless coworkers?”

 

“I like my muppets. They’re already like a little family.” Cas smiled when he thought of their faces and smiles everytime he brought back coffee for them.

 

“I meant more the cute, helpless coworker variety,” he said with a chuckle.

 

"Oh." Cas chuckled and shook his head as he grinned. "You're a whole new category, Dean."

 

Dean quirked his brow. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ll pretend it’s good.”

 

Cas rubbed his thumb over the back of Dean's neck, gently massaging his skin. "I think it's a very good thing, actually." 

 

Dean groaned and leaned forward to give Cas more access. “Yeah, until I download something that fries the memory thingie and you make good on your spanking threat.”

 

Cas winced slightly from Dean’s lack of knowledge before he slid behind him and started to use both hands to massage his neck and shoulders. “The way you just said that… I’m not sure if I’m not rooting for you to fry something again.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Was it wrong?” he asked innocently, clearly indicating he knew it was.

 

"If you really think something in IT is called thingie... maybe you really need a good old spanking," Cas teased back.

 

“It’s a universal catchall for objects that are unknown or unidentifiable, in theory, my use of the term thingie should be rewarded, not punished,” he countered with a soft groan as he almost melted under Cas’s touch.

 

"They aren't unidentifiable though." Cas leaned forward and growled playfully in his ear, "You could just ask."

 

Dean chuckled as he craned his neck to look back at Cas. “Why bother? When I see how much it makes you and your elves cringe? In fact, maybe I’ll start submitting all my requests with the word thingie. My thingie isn’t working, get up here and fix it ASAP.”

 

Cas slid one hand down Dean's back and grabbed his hip to pull him closer. "In reality you just want me to come up to your office, bend you over your desk, and punish you for the bad language in your emails."

 

“Man, am I that transparent?” He whined as became more and more pliable.

 

"You’re already making these irresistible noises and I'm not even doing something fun with my hands." Cas chuckled lowly, pressing his fingers into Dean's back as he worked them down. “I think you really need this.”

 

Dean groaned again. “I can’t remember the last time I had a massage.”

 

“And damn you needed one.” Cas stroked down Dean’s back, feeling all of the knots and tension. “You have all the deskjob knots.”

 

“Fuck, Cas. You missed your true calling,” he practically moaned, the sound slightly muffled from the way his face was pressed into the couch cushion.

 

"I learned how to do it from a physical therapist, who helped me and my brother after the accident." He went back to Dean’s shoulders with a sigh before he added teasingly, “It works better without clothes.”

 

Dean didn’t miss a beat, he sat up enough to rip his shirt off, tossing it to the floor before he laid down on the couch again. 

 

For a moment Cas raised an eyebrow, his hands hovering over Dean, slightly perplexed. He had never thought Dean would do it. It was like the oldest trick in the book to get someone naked and he just hadn’t expected it to work. Not that he was complaining.

 

He grinned before he gently started massaging Dean’s smooth skin. “Shirtless is a nice look on you.”

 

Dean chuckled. “You should see me pantsless.”

 

“Yeah, I could massage your ass too… Though that would be a very different massage with a very happy ending.” Cas chuckled, working his fingers down Dean’s back.

 

“One of these days I’m gonna say yes and you’re not gonna know what to do,” he quipped as he turned his head to look back at Cas.

 

Cas leaned over Dean with a soft smile. "I know that you wouldn't mean that 'yes'."

 

“Like I said, one of these days…” Dean threatened and laid his head back down.

 

"Yeah, not gonna fall for that. No matter how much you tease me. I know you're not gonna follow through." Why was that so disappointing?

 

Dean chuckled and said, “Who knows? Maybe you’ll fall hopelessly in love with me and get over your playboy,  _ Great Gatsby _ deal.”

 

Cas snorted and shook his head. "What would I gain with that, if you don't even want it?"

 

“I guess you’re right. Star crossed, never  _ quite _ lovers.”

 

"And back to repressing sexual tension," Cas joked before he started to gently stroke out the tension from his muscles. It was barely there now though. Dean almost had the same consistency as Jell-o.

 

That’s when he heard some light snoring.

 

"Guess that answers if you’re gonna sleep over, huh?" Cas murmured softly, caressing Dean's skin for a few more moments before he carefully got up and pulled the blanket on the couch's backrest over Dean. 

 

He slowly slid from the couch and looked at the sleeping man with a smile, taking in all of the freckles before he switched off the TV. Dean was really... something.

 

He wasn't sure yet what it was that he felt for the guy. Attraction... definitely. Friendship... yep. But he also started to trust Dean and that was a weird feeling he wasn't used to.

 

"What have you done to me?" he whispered, "breaking through my well-constructed walls just like that."

 

“Mmm?” Dean grumbled sleepily as he turned over onto his side to face Cas, eyes barely open, less than half. “Happy ending over?” 

 

Cas chuckled quietly and carded his fingers through his hair. "You fell asleep. Do you wanna stay?"

 

Dean shook his head and moved to sit up. “I know you want me out of your hair.”

 

"Not true." Cas shook his head with a smile. "I'm happy if you stay. You don't need to sleep on the couch though. My mattress has memory foam."

 

Dean smiled. “Honestly, that sounds awesome, but Baby won’t be too happy if I crash here again, leaving her alone all night.”

 

“You really need to bring her along next time.” Cas grabbed Dean’s hand to help him up. If he pulled him much closer to his body on purpose, well, no one needed to know.

 

That was met with a soft laugh as Dean steadied himself. “You sure about that? She makes people fall in love with her and that might fuck with your no love thing.”

 

“I don’t have a no love rule for dogs, so that will be totally fine.” Cas wrapped his arms playfully around Dean and pulled him even closer. “But what if she falls in love with me and wants to stay?”

 

Dean shook his head. “Don’t you steal my Baby. I’ll sabotage all your computers at work if you try.”

 

Cas slid his fingers up Dean’s back and grinned smugly. "You sabotage every computer on a daily basis, how is that a threat?"

 

Dean pursed his lips and flicked Cas’s cheek. “Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you should rub it in my face.”

 

"But you've got such a pretty face to rub things in," Cas teased.

 

Dean smirked. “And come on.”

 

Cas’s smile widened before he rubbed his thumb over Dean's lip again. "Fuck, Dean. If I have a sex dream starring you tonight, it will totally be your fault."

 

“Well, make sure you bite me here,” he said as he pointed to his pulse point, “and don’t be afraid to get a little rough with dream me.”

 

Cas groaned and gave Dean a pointed look. "You're a fucking tease... and you should really go before I do something stupid and really start to bite you."

 

Dean chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, alright.” He followed Dean out of the fort as Dean grabbed his jacket. “Still on for Saturday? Unless you’re seeing your pretend boyfriend instead?” Dean asked with an eyebrow waggle.

 

Cas shook his head. "No, I'm seeing him tomorrow." He furrowed his brow, thinking about how weirdly jealous Inias had sounded today. Maybe it was nothing. "And yeah, Saturday is still on. I'm actually looking forward to it."

 

Not for the first time, he wished Samandriel could be there too. Not seeing him for such long periods of time really bummed him out. But he knew Gabriel was right when he had told him to move away.

 

“Me too. Figured we could make a day of it? I could show you random sights of Seattle before hand and we could grab dinner after?”

 

“I would love that.” And he meant it.

 

Dean grinned. “Great, be prepared to fall in love with Seattle,” he warned as he grabbed his keys and headed towards the front door.

 

"If it's as charming as you are, what can go wrong?" he replied smoothly as he accompanied Dean to the door. Fuck, he wanted to kiss him so badly. And why the hell did this feel like the end of a date? Probably because the fuck ton of sexual tension between them… well, he knew what he would be doing before sleeping.

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Goodnight, Casanova,” he said as he pressed a chaste kiss to Cas’s cheek. “See you Saturday, unless more stupid shit happens with my computer.”

 

Cas chuckled and gave him a playfully begging look. "Please don't make me work through the weekend."

 

“Hey, can’t blame me for your poor time management skills.”

 

Cas raised an eyebrow before he pulled Dean closer again. "You really need a good spanking."

 

Dean smirked and said, “I don’t think you’d see it as a punishment though.”

 

“I suspect neither would you,” Cas lowly teased back. Why was it so hard to say goodbye? 

 

“Point. Alright, I better get back to Baby.” Dean smiled and pulled him in for a quick hug. “See you later.”

 

"Yeah," Cas breathed out and patted Dean on the shoulder before he let him out. "See you tomorrow."

 

He watched Dean leave and sighed deeply before he closed the door and went to "bed" pretty much immediately.

 

He pulled out his phone and wrote a quick text message to his brother though, because for the first time he felt weirdly happy. 

 

_ Cas: Going to some special art show on saturday. Expect a lot of pictures! Good night, Sam. _

 

_ Sam: I can’t wait to see them. And what kind of show? _

 

He was surprised to get such an immediate response from his brother, especially since they had a time difference and he should be sleeping.

 

_ Cas: Local art show of people with disabilities. Co-worker suggested it. Why aren’t you asleep? _

 

_ Sam: That’s cool, now I’m really excited to see the pictures. And I’m up because Anna is taking me to see a specialist in Cooperstown. We have to leave in an hour. _

_ Sam: I miss you. _

 

Cas sighed and rubbed his hand over his eyes before he typed back.

 

_ Cas: I miss you too. _

_ Cas: I might stay a while. In Seattle I mean. _

 

Before he could think about it, he added,

 

_ Cas: Do you think you could visit me? Maybe if Gabriel allows it? _

 

_ Sam: That’s great, I’d like to see you settle down somewhere. And I want to. I’ll talk to Gabe, see if he would allow it. _

 

Cas sighed and smiled down at his phone. They all wanted him to settle down, but he still wished he wasn’t so far from his brother. He wished Sam could live with him, but he knew that wasn't possible.

 

Not only because he didn't have enough time to take care of him, but also because he had never handled it well.

 

He knew Gabriel just wanted what was best when he told him to move away. His brother was just worried about him. Cas's depression had always been worse when he was closer to home.

 

He knew that Gabriel probably wouldn't allow Sam to visit him without Gabriel watching over them like the big brother he was.

 

_ Cas: It's a good job I got here. And I met a few nice people.  _

_ Cas: Tell Gabe he can come with you. Chances are higher he will say yes to a visit then. _

 

_ Sam: I will. That might convince him! _

_ Sam: And are you making friends? _

 

Cas smiled and turned around on his mattress.  _ Damn _ , he should really assemble the bed frame... tomorrow.

 

_ Cas: Yes. His name is Dean. He's the head of marketing and horrible with computers. _

 

_ Sam: And you’re FRIENDS with him? He must be cute. _

 

Cas gaped at his phone and chuckled. 

 

_ Cas: What are you implying? lol _

 

_ Sam: I’m implying nothing. Stating outright. Your tolerance for computer ignorance is nonexistent. If you consider him a friend, he’s either cute or you’re my brother’s evil twin. _

 

Damnit, the kid knew him too well.

 

_ Cas: Okay I admit, he is super hot. But he is totally unavailable so my reasons for being his friend are innocent and pure. And we built a fort out of my moving boxes. _

 

_ Sam: An actual fort? Where the hell are the pictures? _

 

_ Cas: I’ll send them if you promise to not show them to Gabe or Anna. I already told them I unpacked. _

 

_ Sam: SMH. I won’t, but if you’re staying a while, maybe you should try to unpack? _

 

_ Cas: And ruin a perfectly good fort? It has christmas lights inside! _

 

_ Sam: Again! I need pictures. Ugh. Anna says I need to start getting ready. I love you. I’ll tell you how it goes.  _

 

_ Cas: Love you too! And please do. _

 

Cas got up with a sigh to take a few nice photos of his fort and how cozy it looked inside with the lights on before he sent it to his brother and went back to his "bed". 

 

He was exhausted. He knew he needed to get up to at least brush his teeth.

 

But that thought quickly went down the drain as other thoughts of touching Dean's naked body got mixed in and he fell asleep thinking of how nice it would have been to have Dean sleeping beside him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 

It had been one hell of a week since his mini reprieve with Cas on Monday. Between stupid deadlines, the guys in copy trying his damn patience, Bela still pulling her  _ Mad Men  _ bullshit, and Benny bugging him about going out with them, Dean had reached his breaking point. Usually the normal stressors of his job were easily ignored, but as the days of Aaron’s anniversary drew closer, he found himself less and less tolerant.

 

So, to avoid having his ass hauled to HR for making half the staff cry… again… Dean called in sick on Friday. Which made Baby happy, not having to be alone. And that was how he found himself, mid-morning, still in his pajamas, cuddled up with Baby on the couch.

 

“You know, this isn’t as much fun without a fort around us,” he said as he scratched behind her ears. Baby just looked at him expectantly, quietly demanding more scratches and less talking. 

 

Dean sighed and proceeded to pet her with one hand as he used the other to flip through his Netflix queue, trying to find something relatively mind numbing to watch. It was weird, but vegging out on the couch had almost lost its appeal without the addition of a fort. And that was all he was disappointed in. He refused to accept that it had anything to do with the person who owned said fort.

 

Cas was… something else. Dean couldn’t remember the last time he clicked with someone so thoroughly. Well, that wasn’t true. The last time had been with Aaron and Dean was in no way prepared for what that could mean. So, like a tried and true Winchester, he pushed any and all thoughts of those implications to the darkest corner of his mind to gather dust, just like they should. 

 

It didn’t help that Cas hit on him constantly, but he found more and more that it was getting difficult to turn Cas down. Which was a little terrifying. Dean was a man, he had needs and urges, which were usually quelled with a night of bad decisions and Grindr. But Cas was different. And everytime he began to look at what  _ made _ Cas different, guilt would consume him and he’d take a step back.

 

Too often, he’d easily forget about his guilt, his emotions, and flirt back with the guy. Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t like the fact that Cas was so upfront and, if he gave the word, he’d be in Cas’s bed, learning first hand if his cocky attitude reached the bedroom too. And then he’d think of Aaron, think of the fact that it wasn’t right. Having sex once every couple of months to scratch an itch was understandable, but… to potentially sleep with someone he found he liked more and more with the time they spent together felt far too close to something resembling a relationship.

 

And even if Cas was interested in something like that, Dean just couldn’t. It was ridiculous, it was illogical, but Dean felt that was cheating on Aaron. And as long as that was where his head was at, it wouldn’t be fair to try and have a relationship with anyone. But Dean was happy to make a new friend, one he had an almost instant connection with. 

 

Dean gave up on his queue and switched back to Hulu. He decided it was a binge watch  _ Bob’s Burgers  _ day. Something he wouldn’t necessarily have to pay attention to. 

 

When his phone went off, he rolled his eyes at the text from Bela, asking for the location of the Walker account budgets. Even when he called in sick, he was still being harassed by work. Dean sighed and told her where to look. 

 

As he got up to grab another beer, because it was five o’clock somewhere, his phone went off again. Friggin’ Bela couldn’t find the damn file on his desktop and he groaned. Beer temporarily forgotten, Dean got up and logged onto his work email from the remote portal and figured if anyone could find it for her, Cas could.

 

* * *

_To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: My secretary (and yes I’m calling her that) needs your help_

 

_ Sorry to do this to you, but if you have the time, can you locate the Bud Walker excel spreadsheet for Bela when you get a chance? Yes it’s saved to my desktop. No, I’m not sorry I didn’t listen to you. _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Satisfied with the email, he shot it off, grabbed his beer, and got comfortable on his couch again. Especially now that he had it to himself since Baby was chewing her favorite stuffed moose toy in her doghouse. 

 

His phone made a noise of an incoming message after a few minutes.

 

_ Cas: Your secretary says you called in sick. _

_ Cas: Are you okay? _

_ Cas: Do you need chicken soup? _

 

Dean chuckled as he looked down at his phone and shook his head. 

 

_ Dean: Now who’s the adorable one? No, I’m okay. Thank you though. If you could get that harpy off my ass by finding that damn file for her, I’d appreciate it. _

 

A few minutes later he got another text message from Cas.

 

_ Cas: Done.  _

_ Cas: So you wanna tell me why you’re not at work? Are we still on for tomorrow? _

 

Considering he’d been looking forward to it, barring loss of limb, he had no intention of missing out on dragging Cas around Seattle. Taking a large swig of his beer he finally replied,

 

_ Dean: Yes, still on. And some days are just harder than others. So I’m taking a self care day so I don’t make people cry. _

 

_ Cas: I get off in five hours. If you are in need of a distraction. _

 

That was an amazing offer and one he really wanted to take Cas up on, but he also sort of didn’t want to leave his couch. 

 

_ Dean: I am, but I’m stuck to my couch I fear.  _

 

_ Cas: You could txt me yr address and I come & rscue u _

 

_ Dean: You have to face down a slobbery dragon to reach me. _

 

_ Cas: I bring mmm _

_ Cas: My horse and lance 2 defnd msef _

 

Dean barked out a laugh, imagining Cas in full knight in shining armor get up. It was probably a bad idea, considering where he was at mentally, but… He found he really liked spending time with Cas.

 

_ Dean: Alright, fair knight. I shall impart a favor for your rescue. _

 

He shot Cas his address and settled a little more against his couch. Dean proceeded to nurse his beer while he clicked on the pilot of  _ Bob’s Burgers  _ and tried to become one with the couch again.

 

After the first episode his phone indicated he got another message.

 

_ Cas: Have I discovered a kink there? You wanting to get rescued by a handsome prince. _

_ Cas: Also sorry for the almost unreadable messages before. I had to fend off a curious muppet invasion. _

 

Dean shook his head and chuckled.

 

_ Dean: I was wondering if you’d gotten a lobotomy. And you know how to deal with nosy muppets, right? _

 

_ Cas: Oh yes. I think I found the perfect solution to shut them up. _

_ Cas: And you didn't answer my question about your princess kink. _

 

Dean rolled his eyes at the text, hoping Cas could feel it. 

 

_ Dean: As pretty as I would be as a princess, no. I don’t have a kink for that. But don’t let that stop you from showing up here on a steed, in a full suit of armor and a lance. _

 

_ Cas: Where would I even park a horse? _

 

_ Dean: Bring her up. Baby would lose her damn mind and that alone would be worth it. _

 

_ Cas: Have you ever tried to get a horse up a stairwell? _

 

_ Dean: Not since that last party when I almost got evicted. _

 

It was strange, even through text he enjoyed talking with Cas. Hell, he was already starting to feel less mopey, less guilty. But Dean knew it would be short lived. Dean was fucking good at three things. Kissing. His job. And letting guilt consume him. More of a gift than a talent really. 

 

_ Cas: You go to weird parties. _

_ Cas: Damn it, my armor is at the dry cleaner. And my horse was shrunk in the dryer. _

 

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. Damn, he liked this guy.

 

_ Dean: Guess you’re just gonna have to come over naked, riding a unicorn. _

 

_ Cas: Naked I can do. My unicorn is made out of plush. And it doesn't like to get ridden.  _

_ Cas: Why does that sound weirdly dirty and wrong?  _

 

_ Dean: Because you’ve never encountered someone who doesn’t want you to ride them? _

 

_ Cas: Oh I did. I'm currently texting the guy. _

 

_ Damnit.  _ Dean didn’t like the way that comment left a bad taste in his mouth. Reality was bound to strike again. Of course Cas was talking to the guy he was banging. Or maybe even a new guy.

 

_ Dean: Maybe get this one to wear protective gloves, save your skin. _

_ Dean: Anyway, I better let you get back to abusing your muppets. _

 

_ Cas: Any preference on the color of the gloves you want? Hot pink? Although I'm not sure why I need protection if you don't want to sleep with me. Wouldn't gloves make more sense if you did? _

_ Cas: Also I don’t abuse muppets _

_ Cas: I want that as a bumper sticker _

 

Dean furrowed his brow at the texts. Cas meant him? He was only talking to Dean? The warmth he felt was bizarre and he finished his beer before replying.

 

_ Dean: I’ll get you that bumper sticker. _

_ Dean: And I told you, I’m a biter, not a scratcher. _

 

_ Cas: I could get you a muzzle. :)  _

_ Cas: But I like to be bitten. _

 

_ Dean: Good to know. _

 

What the hell? Dean couldn’t stop flirting with the guy no matter the means. He shook his head at himself and got up to grab another beer. Baby followed him into the kitchen. He patted her head and smiled. “Hopefully you’ll hate him and then I can get over this weird…” he couldn’t even bring himself to say the word crush out loud.

 

Dean made it back to his couch, beer in hand as he dropped onto it. Back to  _ Bob’s Burgers. _

 

His phone chimed again with a new message. He picked it up and smiled. It was Sammy checking in. Dean shot him a quick reply and settled back against the cushions, keeping his phone on his thigh so he wouldn’t have to move again if there were any follow up texts.

 

He kind of hated how much he wanted Cas to text him again.

 

_ Cas: Does Baby have a favorite snack? _

 

“Goddamnit, Cas. Stop making me like you,” he said to the empty room.

 

_ Dean: She loves anything with peanut butter, Zuke’s is always a safe bet. _

_ Dean: So now the plan is to bribe the dragon instead of slaying her? _

 

The reply came instantly.

 

_ Cas: It's handy to have a dragon as a friend. _

_ Cas: You never know when you’ll have the opportunity to take over another country. _

 

_ Dean: So I have to ask, which country is on the domination list? _

 

_ Cas: Every country. I'm aiming for world domination. I’ll start with Canada though. _

 

_ Dean: Picking the easiest country first. I’m disappointed. _

 

Dean chuckled and took another swig of his beer, feeling a little too much like a teenager texting their crush. Baby hopped up onto the couch with him and Dean shook his head at her. “What am I supposed to do about this, huh?”

 

Baby simply tilted her head before placing her right paw on his forearm. As if to say: silly human, stop talking and just pet me.

 

_ Cas: It's all tactic, start little before you go for the difficult countries. I only have one dragon after all. _

_ Cas: What are you doing? _

 

_ Dean: Binge watching Bob’s Burgers and trying to teach Baby to fetch me beer. _

_ Dean: It’s not really working. She keeps bringing me her damn moose. _

 

_ Cas: Maybe you're saying it incorrectly. _

_ Cas: Do you need anything for when I rescue you from the couch monster? More beer? _

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. He didn’t need beer, but if Cas was in pizza delivery man mode, he might as well take advantage of it.

 

_ Dean: No, I’m good, but since I’m completely ignoring my health today, you should pick us up a couple of burgers from Dick’s. Double bacon cheeseburger with extra onions and a chocolate malt. _

 

For a few minutes nothing happened, which was weird since Cas had responded almost immediately before. But then he finally got an answer.

 

_ Cas: Okay. I can't wait to come over to you. What are you wearing?  _

 

Dean furrowed his brow at the text. While Cas’s flirting was pretty blatant, he didn’t think he’d go quite so far with it. Maybe it was innocent and he was just reading too much into it?

 

_ Dean: Ratty old t-shirt and boxers. Pretty standard lazy attire. _

 

The answer was immediate. 

 

_ Cas: Why don't you start by losing the shirt? Pretend I'm already there with you. Because all I can do is think of you and I can't stop smiling or concentrate on my work.  _

 

Apparently he was way off base. Maybe Cas thought he was texting Inias.

 

_ Dean: You might want to check who you’re texting, Kitten.  _

 

For a long while there was no reply before he got a string of messages.

 

_ Cas: I'm going to kill them! _

_ Cas: I'm so sorry, Dean. The muppets got my phone. _

_ Cas: They thought I was texting Inias. _

_ Cas: And they are a pain in my ass today _

_ Cas: Is it murder if I chop their felt bodies into a million pieces? _

 

Dean barked out a laugh. Feeling weirdly relieved, in more ways than one. But he decided to ignore that and focused on texting Cas.

 

_ Dean: Well, if it counts as murder, I can always be your alibi. _

_ Dean: And for a bunch of computer nerds, you’d think they’d be able to read my name in your contacts list. _

_ Dean: Good thing I didn’t send a dick pic, huh? _

 

_ Cas: First of all now I'm disappointed you didn't send a dick pic. Second, you're not saved under your name in my phone. I see now how that could have been misleading. _

 

_ Dean: Well now you absolutely have to tell me what I’m saved under in your phone. _

 

For a long minute there was no answer and Dean started to wonder if Cas would fess up.

 

_ Cas: Handsome Disaster _

 

The way he laughed caused Baby to startle and he proceeded to apologize for scaring her.

 

_ Dean: I laughed so hard I scared Baby.  _

 

_ Cas: Make fun of it all you want but I think it's a very accurate description. _

 

Well, Dean had to give him that. It was pretty accurate.

 

_ Dean: Well, I’ve been called worse. _

 

_ Cas: I also just wanted to emphasize that I’m not distracted from work by texting you, because unlike my muppets I can multitask. _

 

_ Dean: Figured as much. Besides, we both know who you’re really thinking about and smiling over. _

 

_ Cas: It's not Inias if you're implying that. _

 

Dean wasn’t sure what to make of that comment. And he definitely didn’t want to think of the implications or the ramifications of said implications. He decided to go the safe route and give Cas the out that they probably both needed.

 

_ Dean: Look at you, Casanova. Already got a full dance card. _

 

_ Cas: It's interesting that no one considers that I'm just smiling because I'm happy for no specific reason. _

 

_ Dean: Point. God forbid someone be happy for no apparent reason! _

 

_ Cas: Okay, I might be happy cuz I'm looking forward to saturday. :) _

 

Dean chuckled and said, “Me, too.” Baby looked up at him in curiosity and he quirked his brow at her. “Don’t judge me, dog.” Which was met with a lick to the face before she hopped off the couch to go to her toy box.

 

_ Dean: So am I. Looking forward to dragging you to some of my favorite spots in Seattle. _

 

_ Cas: Like the mystery soda machine? Or is that for a special occasion? _

 

_ Dean: Oh, no. You’re definitely gonna see the mystery soda machine. Wear good tennis shoes, you’re gonna get a work out. _

 

_ Cas: Alright. See u in a few hours. My muppets require my full attention now :( _

_ Cas:  They still think I'm texting Inias. _

_ Cas: So weird. _

 

_ Dean: Tell your muppets they need to work on their sexting skills.  _

_ Dean: And I don’t know how well I could pull off the skinny jeans look, but I guess I’ll take that as a compliment? _

 

_ Cas: First of all their sexting abilities can't be that bad if you thought about sending a dick pic. _

_ Cas: You don't need skinny jeans to looks sexy. You would look sexy in a potato sex. _

_ Cas: Sack. Potato sack. The fuck phone? _

 

_ Dean: I don’t even want to know what a potato sex is. _

 

_ Cas: It sounds like a weird vegetable kink _

_ Cas: And just for future reference. If I sexted you there would be no romantic crap in it. _

 

Dean chuckled again and finished his beer. The urge to ask him to prove it was overwhelming. But he knew better than to open that Pandora’s box. Their flirting was outrageously inappropriate as it was. There was no need to add sexting to the confusing mix.

 

_ Dean: I’m not even a little surprised. _

_ Dean: Alright, go back to your muppets, see you tonight. _

 

Instead of answering Cas sent a string of weird and random emoticons that made no sense at all. Dean chuckled again and looked at Baby, who was presently murdering a stuffed fox. “Baby. Fetch me a beer.”

 

She simply ignored him in favor of her toy. He sighed and reluctantly got up to grab his own beer. Trying to ignore the weird sensation in his stomach after that exchange with Cas. Hopefully beer would fix it.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean had just gotten out of the shower when there was a knock at his door, which caused Baby to lose her shit. “Dude! It’s not a murderer! Calm your tits,” he chastised as he grabbed her by the collar to hold her back.

 

He pulled open the door and smiled when he saw Cas, holding a couple of bags. Dean took a few steps back with Baby to let Cas in. “Hey, sorry. Come in.”

 

Cas stared at him open-mouthed for a moment before he replied, "Not that I'm complaining, but I seriously didn't write that text, telling you to undress and pretend I'm here."

 

He looked down at Baby with a smile and held out his hand with his palm up. "Hey, beautiful."

 

Dean chuckled as he let her go and she proceeded to dart for Cas. “I thought I had enough time to grab a shower before you got here. I underestimated the speed of your serial killer van. Baby!” 

 

Baby had jumped up on Cas and he clapped, getting her attention. He looked at her and did the sign language command for sit. When she did, he nodded to her. “Good girl. That’s how we greet people.” He grabbed one of the bags from Cas and nodded for him to follow. “Come on, let’s put this stuff in the kitchen so you can greet each other properly.”

 

"Are you going to greet me properly too?" Cas grinned.

 

Dean quirked his brow and pointed down at his half naked torso, clad only in a towel. “Thought I did?”

 

Cas put his bag on Dean's kitchen counter, next to where Dean had put the other one and stepped closer to him with a smirk. "It was a good start, but I really want a hug."

 

Without missing a beat, Dean closed the distance between them to hug Cas. “I swear, if this is just a ploy to remove my towel…”

 

Cas pressed him tightly against his body, his hand sliding gently down his back, but not low enough to be anywhere near his ass. When he leaned back his lips brushed against Dean's ear. Cas's voice was ridiculously deep. "Or maybe it was just a ploy to feel your naked skin against my body? You will never know."

 

Dean chuckled and pushed Cas away. “Let me get dressed. It’ll give you time to be cuddle attacked by my dragon.”

 

"Is it okay if I give her one of the treats I bought?" He winked at Dean. "Just so she doesn't eat me while you're gone."

 

“Of course. Make her sit for it, though. She knows nonverbal commands.” Dean cupped his hand and turned it. “That means sit.”

 

Cas nodded and gave his body one last long and obvious look. "You don't need to dress for my sake though."

 

Dean rolled his eyes and flicked his arm. “Down boy!” He stepped out of the kitchen before Cas could respond, but he could hear Cas greeting Baby as he closed his bedroom door. He threw on a pair of sweatpants and nicer t-shirt. He spent the day comfortable and he intended on spending the evening that way too.

 

When he came out of his bedroom, Cas was playing with Baby, valiantly tugging on one end of her favorite rope toys as she growled and tugged back. Dean watched them for a moment, unable to hide his smile.  _ Damnit.  _ Cas wasn’t supposed to be good with her on top of everything else. 

 

After a beat, Dean cleared his throat to make his presence known. “The dragon is winning.”

 

"Yes." Cas sighed dramatically. "She already ate my shrunken horse and my unicorn." He let go of the toy and Baby celebrated her triumph by throwing it away, only to hunt after it. Cas quickly walked up to Dean and, before he could react, swooped him up into his arms. "We have to be quick, before the dragon comes back." He laughed as he carried him over to the couch.

 

Dean laughed and shook his head as he wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck. “Not gonna lie, wasn’t expecting you to be able to lift me.”

 

“I told you, I’m stronger than I look. And I work out regularly,” Cas replied before he sat down on the couch with Dean still in his arms. "Saved you." He smirked.

 

“You were supposed to save me from the couch, not bring me to it,” he argued as he allowed himself to enjoy the ridiculous intimacy for a little longer. He didn’t realize just how starved he’d been for it. 

 

Cas looked around with wide shocked eyes. "Oh no, you're right. The couch is an evil trap. Where do you want me to rescue you to then?" he asked curiously, pressing him closer to his body before he stood up with him again.

 

To say Dean was impressed with that move would be an understatement. He laughed and  –  ignoring the voice in the back if his mind whispering the word, “bed,”  – said, “Kitchen. I’m starving.”

 

Cas walked over to the kitchen, but he purred, "Are you sure the bedroom isn't the safer choice?"

 

Dean rolled his eyes and smacked his arm. “Put me down, Tarzan.”

 

Cas didn't put him down, but sat him on the kitchen counter next to the bags. "You Jane?" he asked with a grin before he nodded to the bags. "Brought food and drinks. Everything for a chill couch distraction night."

 

He smiled and leaned over to grab one of the bags, taking in a deep inhale, enjoying the smell. Dean didn’t often let himself eat crap food, but when he did… He groaned in appreciation. “How much do I owe you?”

 

"A hug and ten files that you will move from your desktop to your D partition." That answer came so immediately that Dean got the impression Cas had been waiting to find the right time to say it.

 

Dean chuckled and nodded in acquiescence. “Fine.” He hopped off of the counter and opened his arms. “Here’s part of your payment.”

 

Cas instantly and playfully crowded him against the counter before he pulled him close, wrapping both of his arms around him.

 

He soaked in the warmth, surreptitiously smelling Cas. Dean was going to have to ask him what aftershave he used, because it was incredibly subtle and weirdly manly. He really liked it. As he drew back, he smiled and moved to grab them a couple of plates. “How was work? No muppeticide?”

 

Cas chuckled and rubbed his hand over his neck. "The floor of IT is full of felt snippets now. I just had to throw them into the file shredder. Don't have an alibi though."

 

Dean shrugged as he started putting their food on the plates. He groaned when he saw there were fries too. “I’d offer you whatever you want for bringing fries too, but I’m sure you’ll give me a predictable answer.” He winked at Cas and added, “And your muppets should know better than to fuck with their supreme leader and his texts.”

 

"Yeah, they don't have a sex life that isn't virtual so they’re like mosquitos, sucking on my barely there one." He shrugged before he grinned. "So fries are your weakness?"

 

“Carbs in general, but yeah.” Dean handed Cas his plate and a beer as he nodded for him to follow. “Also, barely there my  _ ass.” _

 

Cas followed him to the couch where they sat next to each other, much closer than was maybe practical. "Well, I haven't seen Inias since Tuesday, so that counts as barely there for me."

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Oh, no. A whole three days without being scratched and sexually satisfied,” he said in a sardonic tone. 

 

Cas hummed and gave him a pointed look. "Which wouldn't be such a big deal if there wasn’t this co-worker, who is a very handsome disaster by the way, opening his doors barely clothed. It's basically your fault that I'm sexually frustrated, so shut up."

 

_ Welcome to the damn club.  _ Dean shook his head and stuffed a fry in his mouth as he leaned forward to grab his remote. “Don’t blame me because you chose to rescue me over getting laid by your pretend boyfriend.”

 

Cas shrugged. "Well, real friend beats pretend boyfriend."

 

Dean couldn’t help but smile at that. “Way to make a damsel in distress feel special.” In that moment, Baby came up on Cas’s side, sitting and staring at him. She knew better than to beg with Dean, but she always tried it with new people. “Don’t look now, but you have a stalker.”

 

Cas looked at Baby with a grin. "Yeah no, those puppy eyes won't work with me, honey." He took a fry and slowly munched on it before he added, "No chance in hell I share my food." 

 

Baby barked at him and Dean shook his head. “You had your dinner and a treat. Go play in your house.” She stared at Dean, completely ignoring him until he clapped and said, ”Go to bed!” Baby finally listened to him and grabbed one of her toys on the way to her doghouse.

 

Cas gave him a wide eyed look. "Can you teach me how to do that? I have these muppets..."

 

Dean chuckled. “Lots of treats and praise. And I’d pay to see you pet Bunsen’s head after you give him a treat and call him a good boy.”

 

“I might get an invitation to HR then,” Cas murmured with a chuckle before taking a sip from his beer.

 

“Tell Andrea I say hi.” Dean smiled and turned on the TV. “Anything in particular you want to watch?”

 

"Do you have to visit HR often?" Cas asked curiously before he leaned back against the couch and added, "And anything you want... I hope I won't regret I said that."

 

Dean chuckled and decided on something silly and likely along the lines of something Cas would watch, considering the game he told him about. Some stupid fantasy show about two brothers who hunted monsters. “Not as often as I used to. But yes, if you’re wondering if I’ve had to take any mandatory classes, the answer is: yes.”

 

Cas shook his head and smiled at him. "It's so weird. When I started at Smith and Wesson I heard a few stories about you, but for me it's like they are talking about a whole different person."

 

“Let me guess, I make people cry and throw iced coffee at them?”

 

"And your office number should be six-six-six," Cas added with a grin.

 

Dean nodded as he took a sip of his beer. “I swear, you throw iced coffee on someone once and suddenly you’re the bad guy.”

 

“What happened that made you so angry?” Cas asked before taking another sip.

 

“One of the assholes from copy was harassing one of the female interns, I pulled him aside, he got shitty with me, and when he shoved me, I dumped my coffee on his head,” Dean said with a noncommittal shrug. It was worth the three day suspension. 

 

Cas raised his eyebrows. "So why don't people tell more stories like that about you? Like how you constantly seem to be the knight in shining armor for the weak and weary? Pretending to be in a fake relationship, dumping coffee on assfaces...  sounds pretty Robin Hood to me."

 

“Come on, that’s not how office gossip works. You should know that by now. And bonus? People tread carefully around me now. I don’t give a fuck if they like me.”

 

"Inias is a fan of yours," Cas replied after a moment, sounding weird.

 

Dean chuckled. “You have nothing to worry about, I promise. He’s all yours.”

 

"I'm not worried," Cas replied quietly. "Actually I'm thinking of... I don't know. Ending it with Inias. Not that we are in a relationship, but you know, the sex."

 

“Really? Can’t handle the scratching?” Dean teased. 

 

"He's gotten kind of weird lately. Clingy." Cas shrugged before he carried his empty plate to the kitchen and returned to Dean, sitting down even closer than before.

 

Dean finished the last of his fries and nodded. “Well, you’re  _ kinda _ cute, I’m sure you’ll find someone else to hook up with,” he said with a wink.

 

Cas gave him a quick smile that didn't quite reach his eyes though. "Do you think I'm overreacting with him? Just because he sounded a little jealous doesn't mean anything, right?"

 

“I’m not sure I can answer that. You know what’s right for you and if you aren’t looking for anything serious and you don’t want him to get hurt ‘cause he caught feelings… I don’t know, you know? Maybe talk to him?” Dean suggested as he grabbed his plate and got up to take it to the kitchen.

 

Cas crossed his arms behind his head and it really showed off his biceps in his short sleeved t-shirt. Biceps that were a lot more defined than Dean would have imagined under his usually, not very form fitting, geek wardrobe. He sounded thoughtful as he said, “Yeah, I’m not sure if he’s being honest with me at the moment. He says he’s fine with how we handle things, but… I get the impression he’s not. But then, I could be wrong and end up throwing away a perfectly good thing I’ve got.”

 

“I don’t get not being up front. If he wants more, he should tell you, not pretend shit’s hunky dory in the hopes you’ll change. That’s dumb.” Dean took the plate to the sink and called out, “Want another beer?”

 

“Yeah, thanks,” Cas replied, running his fingers through his hair and messing it up even more in the process. “And you would be surprised how many people are in a relationship with others hoping their partner will change.”

 

Dean shook his head. It was one of his favorite things about Aaron. He never wanted Dean to change, he loved him exactly how he was. Warts and all. Dean sighed, really missing him in that moment as he grabbed two more beers and made his way back to the couch. “It seems self defeating. If you don’t like the person you’re with, trying to change them seems harder than moving on. People are strange.”

 

"Yeah," Cas replied thoughtfully before he whined, "Ugh, I should really end this before it gets messy and I can't buy my coffee there anymore."

 

Dropping Cas’s beer between his legs, Dean ruffled his hair. “I could always get your coffee for you, you baby.”

 

“Actually you make pretty perfect coffee too.” Cas smiled up at him before he wrapped his arm around him to pull him closer. "That last cup you made me at work was perfection."

 

Dean chuckled. “See? You got nothin’ to worry about as long as I’m around.”

 

Cas looked at him, caressing his hair at one side with a soft smile. "Yeah, I'm beginning to see that."

 

It was weird how such a simple act, with such tenderness, filled him with warmth. Dean didn’t want to think about what that meant. There were too many reasons, too many obstacles. Cas’s no dating policy, the fact that he may or may not leave, and ultimately, Dean still had feelings for his dead fiancé. But if he could feel something for someone else, he had a sneaking suspicion it would be this man.

 

Talk about shitty timing. Dean returned the smile and patted Cas’s knee before he remembered he couldn’t feel anything and leaned in closer to pat his other knee. “If you want, I’ll take you to where I buy my coffee tomorrow, so you’ll know my secret.”

 

"I would very much appreciate that." Cas leaned against him and chuckled. "Especially if a certain barista decides to piss in my coffee when I 'break up' with him."

 

Dean chuckled. “That sounds suspiciously like there’s a story there.”

 

Cas looked slightly embarrassed then. "I’ve often met cute little bottoms working in coffee shops. And it usually ended in drama and I ended up needing a new coffee dealer. Did I learn from my experience? The short answer is: nope, I didn’t.”

 

“So, _that’s_ your type? Scrawny, pretty little baristas in skinny jeans?”

 

Cas rolled his eyes and shook his head with a chuckle. "Yeah... stop judging me."

 

“No judgement,” Dean defended, leaning back with his hands up in surrender, “Just trying to figure out how I fall into this weird category of yours.”

 

"Well, you don't," Cas replied slowly. "You're a different category."

 

Dean quirked his brow at him, lips curled up in a half smile. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

 

Cas never broke their eye contact and the weird tension between them started rising again. "It's a category I didn't know existed anymore."

 

“The handsome disaster category?” he asked, hoping his heart beat wasn’t as loud as it was fast. The energy between them was kind of electric, in that stupid, cliche way. But Dean found he liked it, even though he shouldn’t. 

 

"More like the, 'I really want to keep you in my life in whatever capacity I can get' category," Cas  answered quietly before he swallowed dryly. "And this is pretty new to me."

 

Dean couldn’t hide the smile on his face even if he wanted to. He ducked his head and let out a soft laugh. “Good.”

 

Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean's chin for a second. "You're cute when you're shy."

 

“Shut up,” he chastised, but his tone and inflection was hardly chastising. Kind of the opposite.

 

Cas gently touch his cheek. "You're even blushing a little," Cas teased, but it sounded more charmed than mocking.

 

Dean gently shoved him away. “I am way too old to be acting like this,” he breathed out in an awed laugh.

 

Cas playfully shoved him back. "You can never be too old for a little bit of teasing and flirting, Dean. And may I remind you that you built a fort last week?"

 

“Point,” he said with a laugh. “What can I say? You bring out the immature teenager in me.”

 

“That reminds me of something. I might need your help with our fort.” Cas took in a deep breath. “My brother might visit me.”

 

The fondness he felt was probably conveyed in the way he smiled at Cas. “Of course. We can  _ definitely  _ make it wheelchair accessible.”

 

Cas gave him a quick smile and shook his head. "He wants me to unpack my household. Do you think I will need a substitute for the weight? It might become unstable without the content."

 

Dean was taken aback. He was actually going to unpack? He nodded and said, “Got a good friend who owns a hardware store in Tacoma. Bet he would have a few ideas.”

 

Cas leaned against Dean with a smile. "Cool, that might help. I actually already started unpacking strategically and..." He drummed his fingers on Dean's knees. "I assembled the bed!"

 

Dean shook his head in amused confusion. “What the hell were you sleeping on?”

 

“My mattress was on the floor. But sometimes I just slept on the couch.” He shrugged before he chuckled. “Depending on my blood alcohol level and/or exhaustion.”

 

Dean chuckled and grabbed his beer. He held it up in a toast. “To sleeping in a bed like a grown up.”

 

Cas clinked his bottle against Dean's before he winked at him and added, "Or doing other things."

 

“Needle point?” Dean teased as he took a swig of his beer.

 

Cas leaned forward and growled in Dean's ear, "Or spanking naughty bottoms."

 

The growl reverberated through him and for the first time since they’d started this weird version of gay chicken, Dean felt a spark of arousal. That was definitely new. He laughed a little breathlessly and shoved Cas away by bracing his palm over his face. “You’re like a broken record.”

 

Cas licked over his palm in retaliation and waggled his eyebrows at him. "Just because I know you secretly would love that."

 

“Stop using my kinks against me,” he warned, but there was no heat in his tone.

 

“Or what?” Cas teased as he wrapped his arm around his shoulders again, resting his fingertips on the base of his skull. Apparently Cas liked to massage him in that area.

 

Dean quirked his brow and said, completely deadpan, “Or else I won’t show you my satin pink panty collection.”

 

He did not expect Cas's breathing to hitch, his lips parting as he breathed out, "Please tell me you're not kidding me right now."

 

“Sorry, I can’t answer either way. Someone keeps trying to use my kinks against me,” he said in a over the top-innocent tone.

 

Cas's eyes widened. "Dean, you can't do this to me.  You can't just drop something like that and never tell me if I arrived in porn heaven or not. That's just cruel."

 

Dean shrugged noncommittally. “I warned you.”

 

“Okay, there must be something I can do,” Cas pleaded with wide eyes. It was really funny. “Can I get a hint?”

 

“What kind of hint could I possibly give to a yes or no answer to your question?”

 

"A resounding yes and a runway show would be a nice hint," Cas suggested with a playfully innocent look.

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “If you can go a whole two weeks without trying to use my kinks against me, I’ll tell you if I was lying or telling the truth.”

 

“But that’s two weeks... fourteen days. 336 hours. You can’t expect me to not die of curiosity in that time!”

 

Well, this was just too much damn fun. Dean smirked and shrugged. “If you die, then you’ll never know the answer.”

 

Cas sat a little bit more upright on the couch. "Okay, alright. I can do that. I just need a detailed list of your kinks so I don't accidentally use one against you."

 

“No, if you bring one up you don’t know, you get one pass. Fair?”

 

“Dammit.” Cas chuckled before he looked thoughtful. “I only know the spanking and that you like to bottom for sure. Oh, and biting.”

 

Dean feigned an innocent expression. “Maybe that’s all there is.”

 

Cas shook his head. "I don’t believe that for a second." He leaned back again, his fingertips wandering down Dean's back. "So to sum this up, for the next two weeks I'm not allowed to tease you with phrases like, ‘coming to your office, blah blah, bending you over your desk and spanking you before I fuck you into it, all while I'm biting your shoulder or your ass’? What if I do this to someone else and tell you about it? Does that count as teasing too?"

 

_ Well played,  _ Dean thought. He chuckled and shook his head in disapproval. “Now how would that be fair? No. Nothing. For two weeks.” Dean held up two fingers and repeated, “Two.”

 

“I’m sure there is a Geneva law you’re breaking,” Cas gave him a puppy eyed look. “What about flirting?”

 

“Flirting is fine. You keep me sharp for all of the pervy, rich executive assholes I have to charm.” Dean winked at him.

 

“I feel used.”

 

Dean chuckled as his lips curled up in a smirk. “You like it.”

 

“I like flirting with you,” Cas admitted as he pulled him slightly closer. “But I prefer to use yo–” Cas stopped himself and bit down his lower lip. “It's hard to flirt with you when I can't tease you. Two weeks is an eternity.”

 

“You can handle it.”

 

“You have too much faith in me.”

 

Dean shrugged and smiled. “And I thought  _ I  _ was a cynic,” he teased. Casting a cursory glance at the TV, Dean realized what it was they needed to watch. “Did you ever finish that episode of Dr. Sexy?”

 

Cas shook his head and shrugged. "I didn't want to watch my favorite character die."

 

The thing was, that wasn’t what happened. Dean couldn’t wait and he finished the episode the other day. He knew it would make Cas freak out in the best way. “I don’t want to spoil anything for you, but I promise… you’re gonna want to watch it.”

 

Cas looked intrigued but hesitant. "Promise?"

 

Dean drew an invisible X over his chest with his index finger. “Promise.”

 

“Alright,” Cas breathed out. “But if this episode makes me cry in front of you, I’m going to skin you alive.”

 

“I don’t know what’ll make you cry, so… Need another beer? Some liquid courage? And not  _ at all  _ as a means of slowing your reflexes.” Dean teased as he finished off his beer.

 

“Do you want to make me drunk?” Cas waggled his eyebrows before he added, “Yeah, liquid courage sounds perfect.”

 

Dean chuckled and grabbed Cas’s empty beer bottle on his way to the kitchen to grab more booze. “I think I’ve got some rum, if you want something stronger?” he called out as he looked through his pantry. 

 

“Sure. Don’t complain if I get handsy with you though.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes as he found the bottle he had. It was coconut rum. “How down are you for a girl drink?”

 

"I don't believe in assigning a gender to drinks. So, I'm very down," Cas replied as he smoothly pushed himself up from the coach and approached him. "You found rum, Captain Jack?"

 

“Yeah,” he said with a chuckle as he showed him the bottle, “I’ve got orange juice, figured the two would work well together.”

 

“You figured?” Cas teased as he stepped behind him and put his chin on his shoulder. “Have you ever mixed a drink before? Because I haven’t, so I will be in your hopefully capable hands.”

 

Dean shrugged. “Can’t be hard, right?” He grabbed two glasses, the orange juice, and some ice cubes and proceeded to start making the drinks.

 

Cas watched him with a flirty smirk, leaning over the island counter across from him after he gave up his spot behind him. "Looks pretty good," he commented with a smile.

 

Grabbing the first glass, Dean took a test sip. He couldn’t even taste the alcohol and he filled half the glass. Dean handed it to Cas to try. “What do you think?”

 

Their fingers brushed and lingered when Cas took the glass from him, never once breaking eye contact as he took a careful sip. "Are you sure there is alcohol in this?"

 

“A lot. Half the glass. Apparently, I missed my true calling.”

 

“Your true calling is to create dangerous drinks?” Cas chuckled.

 

Dean nodded as he topped up the first glass and grabbed the second. He held it up in a toast again. “To living dangerously.”

 

Cas toasted back with a wink as he slipped closer and purred, "Dangerous sounds good."

 

“Come on,” Dean said with a chuckle, unable to hide his smile, “let’s go back to the comfortable couch monster.”

 

"You were right about the couch being a monster. It's so hard to get up. I'm sorry I failed saving you, but at the same time I'm not," Cas replied pulling Dean close when they sat down again and got comfortable. 

 

Dean nodded and grabbed the remote before settling against Cas again. He switched to his Prime account to pull up the episode. “It’s alright, at least I have someone to talk to other than the slobber dragon.”

 

"Let's see if you still think that way when I become one with the couch and you can't get rid of me," Cas replied with a half smirk before he looked up at the TV, looking slightly tense.

 

Dean chuckled and moved slightly, leaning against the armrest as he draped his legs over Cas’s lap. He used his right foot to gently rub Cas’s good knee. “I’ll fast forward to where we left off, so you don’t have to watch the scene again.”

 

"Thanks." Cas gave him a quick smile before he snatched Dean's foot and started to massage it.

 

He couldn’t hold back the appreciative groan. “Now I’m glad I can’t get rid of you.”

 

"You're liking the massages, huh?" Cas smiled at him with a wolfish grin.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s not a kink. I just enjoy being massaged. Doesn’t have to be sexual.”

 

"You're right, it doesn't have to be." Cas massaged along under his foot and Dean really believed that Cas might have magic hands. "And I enjoy doing it, making someone feel better," he explained before he smiled. "Just saying, I can and like doing both."

 

Dean smiled and said, “Good to know.” He reached the point just after the accident and hit play. Pretty much watching Cas’s face more than the television.

 

Cas didn't look happy when they wheeled in Dr. Dan. He even stopped the massage, looking incredibly tense with a frown on his face. "Oh, man," he murmured.

 

Without hesitation, Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. “He’s okay. Well, he’s alive. Just in a coma.”

 

"Not sure how that is comfo –” Dr. Sexy had entered the room and Dean grinned because he already knew what was going to happen. Cas stared at the screen, holding his breath. His eyes widened when Dr. Sexy took Dr. Dan’s hand in his. Cas squeezed Dean’s hand, muttering,“Oh, my fucking… holy shit… What?”

 

“Keep watching,” he whispered, squeezing back.

 

_ “You stupid son of a bitch. You better not die on me, I need you. I… Come on, Danny. Please.” He pressed a kiss to Dr. Dan’s hand and whispered, “If you pull through, things will be different. I promise. I promise. _ ”

 

Cas’s chin dropped and he just stared at the screen with wide disbelieving eyes before he muttered, “No way… they didn’t… just… what?”

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Didn’t I tell you? And now we have to wait three weeks until the next episode.”

 

"What?" Cas stared at him. "But... I mean, did they really just make Dr. Sexy bi? Is that what's happening? What's happening?"

 

“They did. They actually fucking did. I think it broke Twitter,” Dean said with a huff of laughter.

 

"Do you know if the actor for Dr. Dan is continuing? He will wake up, right?" Cas sounded like an excited school girl now, not his usual self assured personality. It was funny to see him geek out.

 

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “No idea. I don’t usually look that kind of stuff up. I like to be surprised.”

 

Cas pulled out his phone and obviously googled it before the tension left his body. "Okay, now I know. Oh, man... I'm so excited to see where they’re going with this! Why do we have to wait so long? It's torture. Is this the new thing now? Why didn't I get the memo? First you, then them."

 

“Oh, yeah. You’re gonna be all squirmy for the next couple of weeks.”

 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Cas replied, sounding playfully miffed before he tickled Dean under his foot.

 

Dean quickly slipped his feet under Cas’s legs and quirked his brow at him. “What gave me away?”

 

“The glee in your voice when you told me how much I would be squirming over the next couple of days,” Cas replied with a smile, trying to find Dean’s feet under his legs again. He gave up after a few moments and instead started to gently stroke over his leg.

 

It was nice. A kind of intimacy he hadn’t shared with another human in a long time. Years. Dean smiled and, braver thanks to the amount of alcohol he had imbibed throughout the day, said, “Thanks for this, Cas.”

 

Cas looked up at him with a surprised raised eyebrow. "For what?"

 

“I wasn’t lying about it being a rougher day today. You made a shitty day into a nice one. So… thank you.”

 

Cas gave him a serious look and nodded. “Of course. Anytime you need me, Dean.” 

 

Dean smiled and offered his hand in a low-five. “That goes both ways, Kitten.”

 

Instead of taking the low five Cas grabbed Dean's hand to pull himself up and over Dean, trapping him on the couch as he braced his palms on either of Dean's sides. "Who are you calling a kitten?" he growled with a wolfish smile.

 

Dean rolled his eyes, completely incapable of hiding his smile. “You,” he said as he booped Cas’s nose.

 

Cas playfully tried to bite his finger. "You know that kittens scratch, right? Wouldn't you rather have a tiger that bites?"

 

“Dude, you didn’t even last an hour.” Dean laughed and shook his head.

 

Cas rested his forehead against Dean's chest with a frustrated sigh. He was basically lying on top of Dean now. "Damn it."

 

Dean carded his hand through Cas’s hair and chuckled. “I thought you’d at least last until tomorrow.”

 

Cas basically melted against him with a hum. "Yeah, I always had this problem. Speaking before thinking."

 

“I can tell. Figured that out the first day we met, when this weirdly confident nerd tried to put me in my place,” he teased as he started massaging Cas’s scalp.

 

Cas chuckled lowly against Dean's chest. "I noticed your surprise. You don't get back talk very often, huh?"

 

Dean shook his head. “Other than Bela, no. Especially not from sweet, little IT elves.”

 

Cas pushed himself up on his elbows to look at Dean with squinty eyes. "I'm neither sweet, nor an elf."

 

“Yeah, I completely disagree with you,” he teased with a sly smile.

 

"Well, as long as you don't want to have sex with me, you're not allowed to judge." Cas growled back teasingly, nipping at his shirt with a grin.

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. Again, it wasn’t like it wasn’t appealing, but… Dean only fucked people he didn’t give a damn about and Cas, somehow, someway, didn’t fall into that category. Not since that night they bonded over Dr. Sexy and built the damn fort. “You’re a broken record, Kitten.”

 

Cas folded his arms over Dean's chest and rested his chin on them. "You have to stop teasing me if you want me to stop offering, handsome."

 

Dean nodded. “Point. It’s just so much fun to tease you,” he said with a wink.

 

Cas sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, I feel the same. I love flirting with you. Even though I know it doesn't lead to anything."

 

“Probably a good thing. If we ever crossed that line, god help Smith and Wesson,” Dean said with a chuckle.

 

Cas grinned at him. "You mean because we would totally fuck on your desk?"

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “And yours. And Bela’s, your muppets’, the CEO’s, blah blah blah.”

 

"Probably also the copier. And every wall... and corner... Yeah, I see where this is going." Cas gave him a charming grin. "I wouldn't be able to keep my fingers off you for even a second."

 

“Well, until you saw the next pretty little barista,” he said with a wink.

 

Cas gave Dean a long look before he touched his cheek and rubbed his thumb gently over it, shaking his head. "No, it would be different with you."

 

“That’s sweet of you to say, Cas.” Dean gave him a half smile. He was really appreciating the level in which Cas was willing to try and make Dean feel better, especially considering the shitty time of year. He still couldn’t believe how easily he spoke about that with Cas. Hell, there were some people he’d known for years at work who had no idea about what he’d been through.

 

"I mean it, Dean. You're the first person I would trust to have more with than just sex. I don't say that lightly." Cas shook his head with a sad smile. "I mean hypothetically speaking. If there wasn’t those other reasons, like working together and you not being ready, or my life being in shambles."

 

Dean let out a mirthless chuckle. “Two ships passing in the night, huh?”

 

"Yeah," Cas breathed out. "I thought for a while that we should have a one night stand to maybe get it out of our system, but I'm not sure it would work in our case."

 

“Besides, you might be a terrible lay, and then how can I look you in the face after that?” Dean teased. Because he needed to. Because this conversation was becoming too real for his taste. Cas was supposed to be a safe fantasy, not a risky possibility.

 

"I'm very confident that I would rock your world," Cas replied with a sassy grin.

 

Dean pursed his lips in a disbelieving smirk. “And I’m more than a thousand percent sure that if you had my ass, you’d never want another barista.”

 

"That could be very true." Cas leaned closer before he pushed himself up from Dean and sat up on the couch at a safe distance again, letting out a deep breath. "Damn, every time," he murmured, shuffling slightly on the couch. "Do you mind if we cut the evening short?"

 

Dean furrowed his brow. “You okay?”

 

Cas nodded and gave him a quick smile. "Yes, just that I'm dying of a case of blue balls. How can you be so unaffected? It’s seriously unfair."

 

Dean chuckled, relieved that he hadn’t caused Cas to want to run away from him. “Marketing director. You’ll never know how affected I am unless I show you.”

 

Cas gave him a lopsided grin before he shook his head. "Yeah, well thanks to you, I need to text my barista and see if he has time later tonight. Maybe I thought of breaking up with him too early if this flirting with us won't stop anytime soon."

 

“Gotta admit,” Dean said as he shifted away slightly to let Cas up, “it is pretty flattering that I haven’t even gotten naked and you’re in this level of distress.”

 

"You did open the door bare chested," Cas reminded him as he got up and wrote a text. "And the fact that I know how good you feel under my hands doesn't help either."

 

“Oh, Kitten… you have no idea how good I really feel,” he teased. If Cas was going to run off and fuck his pretend boyfriend, Dean wasn’t going to make it easy on him.

 

Cas's breathing hitched as he pocketed his phone and walked over to Dean, kneeling next to him on the couch before he leaned over to Dean's ear and growled, "Just say the word and I’ll gladly find out."

 

Dean let out a soft, slightly shaky breath as he played with Cas’s earlobe with his index finger. “Don’t tempt me.”

 

Cas nudged his nose against Dean's ear, his breathing shallow. "Says the temptation on two legs."

 

“Says the walking, talking siren,” he growled.

 

"Fuck, I want you so badly," Cas breathed out against Dean's cheek, lips ghosting over his pleasantly warm skin.

 

“Me, too,” Dean breathed out with a nod. He drew back and braced his hands on Cas’s chest and gave him a smile. “So, you probably should go have sex with your pretend boyfriend.”

 

Cas stared at him for a moment, breathing heavily before his eyes fell to Dean's mouth and he pressed his thumb against Dean's lower lip. "Are you sure?"

 

The urge to suck Cas’s thumb into his mouth was overwhelming. Dean let out a mirthless chuckle as he said, “No. And that’s why you should definitely go. Besides, you deserve better than a broken man.”

 

Cas shook his head slowly. "I'm as broken as you are, so that isn't really an argument for me." His thumb gently traced Dean's lips. "I don't want to push you into something you're not comfortable with." He closed his eyes for a moment before he pulled back. "I should go."

 

Dean gently grasped his wrist to halt him. He couldn’t be what he wanted to be for Cas. For anyone really. But he could be a friend and he found, in that moment, that he had forgotten how much fun it was to do that. “Are we still on for tomorrow?” Dean hated how much insecurity was in his tone.

 

Cas gave him a bright smile before he carded the fingers of his free hand through Dean's hair. "Of course. Not going to miss it for the world." He leaned in closer again. "Walk me to the door?"

 

Dean nodded as he reached his arms out. “Help me up?”

 

Cas grabbed his arm and pulled him close, so close that he wrapped his arms around him for a moment, pressing his nose against his throat. "Have I told you that you smell amazing? What is that?"

 

“The blood of a virgin,” he quipped as he held on a little tighter, not quite ready to let him go yet.

 

Cas chuckled against his throat. Dean could feel his lips and stubble against his skin. "Fuck, Dean," he murmured, his hands sliding down his back.

 

“I know,” he said reluctantly as he drew back, unwillingly. “Go get laid, you’ll feel a helluva lot better and all thoughts of me will fade away, so all that’s left is memories of my desktop.” Dean gave him a small smile.

 

Cas pulled him to the door with a sigh before he leaned closer, kissing his cheek quickly. His voice sounded rough. "I hope you know that I will picture you, so thoughts fading away probably won't happen."

 

Dean chuckled. “If it’s any consolation, my evening jerk off will probably star you.”

 

Cas nudged his nose under Dean's ear, growling, "It is. Imagine me pulling your jeans down, opening you up with my tongue before I finger you."

 

At that, Dean’s composure started to crumble, completely unable to hold back the groan that escaped. He playfully pushed Cas away. “And  _ I’m  _ the tease.”

 

Cas bit his lower lip and looked up at him with a rueful smile. "Sorry. Just wanted to give you a helping hand."

 

“Oh, trust me. I’ve got plenty of material to work with,” he said as he allowed himself to look Cas over. Even if he was broken, he could appreciate a genuinely sexy man.

 

Cas lifted his t-shirt with a teasingly raised eyebrow. "Does this work better?"

 

“Be nice, or I’ll take my pants off,” he warned with a smirk.

 

Cas lifted his shirt even more with one hand, revealing his tattoo and his nice six pack. His other hand pulled at the hem of his jeans, showing off his hip bones. "Nice like this?" he teased, trapping his lower lip between his teeth.

 

Dean let out a slightly frustrated groan. “You’re not playing fair here.”

 

Cas slipped a hand behind Dean's back and pulled him closer. "Yeah, well you're not playing fair either," he breathed out before he kissed his cheek again, letting his lips linger. "I’ll see you tomorrow."

 

Dean swallowed dryly and moved to open the door for Cas. “I’ll text you in the morning when I wake up?”

 

“Sure. Wanna do breakfast together? You could come over and make some,” Cas suggested, leaning against the door.

 

“Well, I do make a mean pancake,” he quipped as he flattened out Cas’s shirt before tilting his chin up to give him a nod of approval of his appearance.

 

"Well, you're in luck. I got the ingredients for a mean pancake in my kitchen and we could have a fort breakfast," Cas replied, playing with the hem of Dean's shirt.

 

Dean chuckled and nodded to Cas. “It’s a breakfast date. Now go get you some hot, barista ass.”

 

Cas nodded, giving him a quick smile, that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Will do. See you tomorrow."

 

He winked at Dean before he turned around with a sigh and left the apartment, walking down the stairs.

 

“Hey, Cas!” Dean called out.

 

"Yeah?" He turned around with an almost hopeful look.

 

And because, deep down, he was a relatively competitive creature, with the maturity level of his dumbass frat boy college years, Dean found himself doing something he hadn’t done since his early twenties. Mooning. Dean pulled his pants down and flashed Cas his ass. Quick, brief, before he turned back with a smirk. “I warned you.”

 

The way Cas was gaping at him was totally worth it. "Okay," he breathed out and nodded. "I can totally work with that. Uhum." He cleared his throat and nearly stumbled down one of the stairs as he waved again and finally vanished.

 

Dean chuckled and turned around to find Baby looking up at him with a tilted head and curious eyes. “What?” He asked.

 

She simply stared at him. With a sigh he closed the door and practically collapsed against it, his back pressed against the aged wood. Baby approached him and he shook his head at her. “What the hell am I supposed to do about that, huh?”

 

Baby barked at him. He nodded and moved to stand up right again. She approached and he started scratching her behind her ears. He knelt, now eye level with her. “Did you like him?”

 

Her response was to lick Dean’s face.

 

He chuckled and let out a wistful sigh as he looked at his door again. “Yeah. Me, too.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 

The title melody of  _ Battlestar Galactica _ slowly woke him up. Cas growled and clumsily grabbed his phone from his nightstand to shut it the fuck up. 

 

Someone groaned next to him when suddenly he felt arms around him and a warm body pressed to his naked skin. He hummed and turned around to the warmth, burying his nose into the other man’s hair. "Morning," Cas mumbled sleepily. 

 

_ Right.  _ Inias didn’t go home last night because it was too late. Cas was lucky the guy had time at all for him, so he wasn’t complaining.

 

Inias turned around, immediately drawing Cas in for a kiss. He hummed in contentment. “Mornin’, sexy.”

 

Cas blinked his eyes open before he carded his fingers through Inias's hair. "Sexy yourself. Did you sleep well?"

 

“Your bed is like a cloud,” he groaned in appreciation. He stretched out slightly, making it a point to “accidentally” brush his hand against Cas’s groin. “You were such an animal last night,” he murmured in a soft laugh as he cupped Cas’s cock.

 

Cas growled and pushed Inias on his bed, sliding over him as he bit at his throat, licking over the mark he had already left there. "Well, you're a cat yourself, scratching me all the time. You need an animal to mount you, fuck you senseless."

 

Inias moaned, arching up against him. “Oh, fuck yes. Please, fierce animal, mount me,” he begged.

 

Cas immediately regretted wanting to break up with Inias. What a stupid idea. He would need this guy now more than ever to get over his sexual frustration from every minute he spent with Dean.

 

Thinking of Dean instantly reminded him why he set an alarm on a Saturday in the first place. “Oh, fuck,” he cursed, pulling back from Inias. “I can’t, baby. I don’t have a lot of time this morning. A work colleague is coming over.”

 

Inias whined, sucking Cas’s finger into his mouth. “I’m still wet, a real quick fuck. Please?”

 

Cas quickly checked his watch and calculated the time in his head before he groaned. "Fuck, you fucking siren," Cas growled and drew him into a fierce, deep kiss as he spread Inias's legs apart to push his finger inside of him. And yep, still wet and ready. "Fuck, kitty. You make me crazy."

 

“Fuck, oh, fuck yes!” Inias cried out as he started undulating hip hips, fucking himself on Cas’s finger. “I need your cock.”

 

Cas quickly reached over to his nightstand and grabbed another condom out of the box, unwrapping it and pulling it over his already throbbing dick. "You’ll get it my little kitty. Get you all filled up with my cock." He grabbed Inias's hips and pulled him close, pushing his cock into him.

 

Fuck, Inias felt awesome. Just so open for him, so ready for Cas to fuck him. He almost felt guilty that he imagined Dean writhing beneath him as he started to thrust into Inias, leaning down to draw him into a deep, passionate kiss.

 

Inias wrapped his legs around Cas’s waist as he bucked against him, groaning and mumbling Cas’s name. His nails raked across Cas’s shoulder blades as he cried out, “Fuck! Please, please fuck!”

 

Cas groaned and pulled Inias's hips up to get a better angle to fuck him deeper and harder. He growled against his lips as Inias raked his nails down Cas’s shoulders. He chuckled. “My little kitten. Fuck, love fucking you.”

 

And it was true. While it was easy to not think about Inias when they were apart, every time Cas was with him, he would suddenly be reminded why it was pretty awesome to have him. The sex with him was incredible. 

 

And he gave up trying to imagine he was with Dean. First, because Dean probably wouldn't scratch him and second, Dean was just so completely different. 

 

Cas moved his lips down Inias's body, licking over his nipple, where he bit him gently. 

 

“Castiel!” Inias cried out, twisting his fingers in Cas’s hair as he yanked him into another needy kiss. 

 

Cas kissed him back eagerly, panting against his lips, his hand buried in Inias's hair. "Fuck, Nias. You feel so good."

 

Inias nodded against him, bucking up as he met his thrusts. “I love your cock, best fuck ever,” he groaned out as he grabbed his cock and started pumping in time. His breath started coming out in shallow pants between moans and groans.

 

Cas grabbed his hand and pried it away from Inias's cock, pinning both of his wrists over his head and holding him down with one hand before he used his free hand to tease Inias's leaking dick. "That's mine," he growled against the other man's lips before he fucked him harder and started to stroke him.

 

“Yours!” he cried out. “Please, may I come?” he begged.

 

Fuck, he loved fucking this man. So beautifully obedient. "Yeah, baby. Come on my cock." He really hoped Inias would come soon because he was so embarrassingly close.

 

Inias nodded, panting as he angled his hips so that Cas was hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. He could actually feel as Inias crumbled, clenching around his girth as he came, crying out Cas’s name and a string of unintelligible words. 

 

Cas bit his lip as he fucked him through it before he let himself go and pumped his load into the condom. He panted heavily, dragging his lips over Inias's, murmuring, "Fuck, you're amazing."

 

Inias let out a breathy chuckle as he drew Cas in for a softer kiss. “Damn, am I grateful I picked up that shift that day.”

 

Cas drew him into another soft kiss and gave him a smile. "And I'm grateful you had time so quickly. Want to hop in the shower with me?"

 

Inias nodded and smiled. “Yeah, you made your kitty all dirty.”

 

Cas chuckled and scooped Inias up in his arms bridal style, carrying him over to the bathroom. "My poor little kitty. Guess I’ll have to wash you then."

 

“Seriously? You’re so fucking hot. I didn’t think nerds could fuck like you, let alone carry me,” he teased.

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head. "Well, first of all, you weigh nothing, and second, nerdy is the new sexy."

 

He put Inias down and drew him into another soft kiss before he started the shower and waited for the water to get warm. When the temperature was ready, he pulled Inias under it and close to his body before he started to gently wash him.

 

Inias chuckled and smiled, shaking his head in almost awe. “Damn, I’ve had boyfriends that weren’t even half as attentive as you,” he said in a teasing tone as he caressed Cas’s chest. 

 

Cas raised an eyebrow at him in surprise. "Seriously? Well those guys didn't deserve you then." He kissed along Inias’s throat and carded his fingers through his hair. "Especially after such a rough fucking. I think it's only normal to share some nice time afterwards, don't you think?"

 

“I do. It’s nice to have my ass taken care of in every way possible.” Inias drew him in for a more gentle kiss.

 

Cas chuckled against his lips. "You deserve this, Inias. I hope your next boyfriend knows how to appreciate you."

 

Inias gave him a shy smile and nodded. “Me, too.”

 

Cas kissed his nose, trailing his lips gently over Inias's before he drew back. "Are you free on Sunday?"

 

Inias grinned and nodded. “I work the morning shift, but I’m free after one.”

 

"Awesome." Cas knew he would probably need it after spending the whole day with an unavailable Dean. 

 

When they were both ready, he shut off the shower and playfully wrapped Inias in a big, fluffy towel before he kissed him again. "I would have breakfast with you, but I don't have the time this morning. I could offer you a coffee though, although it's probably horrible in comparison to what you create with your coffee magic."

 

Inias chuckled and nodded. “I’d love one.”

 

Cas smiled and toweled himself dry before he slipped into his boxer shorts and jeans. He still felt too warm from the shower and the sex to put on a shirt as he made a coffee for the both of them. 

 

His phone blinked with a message and he quickly opened it, wondering if it was from Dean. It was and apparently he was on his way and would be bringing a surprise.

 

Huh. He wondered what the surprise might be. Well, Dean certainly would be surprised when he saw his apartment. It didn't look as empty anymore. He hadn't unpacked everything, but a lot of stuff now had a place outside of the boxes.

 

Suddenly he was wrapped in warm arms as Inias braced his chin on Cas’s shoulder. “It’s not often someone makes  _ me  _ coffee.”

 

Cas closed his eyes and leaned back against Inias with a smile. "I'm pretty sure you will understand why in a moment. I can't make coffee for shit."

 

“It’s okay,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to Cas’s cheek, “it’s the thought that counts.”

 

"You could show me how you like it," Cas murmured back with a smile.

 

Inias waggled his eyebrows. “Thought I already did.”

 

Cas chuckled and grabbed Inias by the hips, lifting him onto the counter before he pulled him into a kiss. "Milk, sugar?"

 

“Black. I know, I’m boring.” Inias kissed him again, wrapping his legs around Cas’s waist. 

 

In a weak moment he pulled Inias closer and lost himself in the soft taste of his lips. He loved kissing. The intimacy that he was longing for, he felt it every time he was with Dean. But it just wasn’t enough. He couldn’t kiss Dean. Inias, on the other hand, was more than willing to share this intimacy with him.

 

When he drew back, he gave him a soft smile and carded his fingers through his hair before he handed Inias his cup. “You’re the opposite of boring, kitty.”

 

Inias chuckled and shook his head. “Of all the pet names I’ve had, I’ve never had one for an actual pet.”

 

“Well, did you see what you did to my back? I think it’s a very appropriate pet name,” Cas replied before taking a sip from his own coffee. Which tasted horrible, but at least it woke him up.

 

“I kinda lose control with you.” Inias blew on his coffee and quirked his brow as he said, “Maybe you should tie me up next time.”

 

Cas smirked at him, letting his fingers wander over Inias's legs. "That sounds like an excellent idea.” He leaned closer to Inias's ear, murmuring, “I could fuck you real slow then, drag it out for as long as possible, until you lose your mind.”

 

Inias chuckled and licked a swipe up Cas’s ear. “Why wait? Blow off your coworker and you can do whatever you want to me. All day.”

 

“Although that is a  _ very  _ tempting offer, I just can’t reschedule this,” Cas murmured against Inias's cheek. Also, he had been looking forward to this since Dean had told him about it. He didn’t tell Inias that part because it somehow felt wrong. Which was weird. It wasn’t like Inias was his boyfriend.

 

Inias pouted and nudged his nose against Cas’s cheek. “Boo your job.”

 

Cas chuckled and kissed his cheek. "It's not my job, Inias. I'm going to have a city tour today and visit an art gallery. That's why I can't reschedule this, the art show is this weekend." It wasn’t technically a lie.

 

Inias furrowed his brow. “You can totally blow it off. I’ll go with you to the art show?” he offered.

 

"I was invited," Cas replied slowly before he tilted his head. "Where’s this coming from, Inias?"

 

“What?” He asked with a bemused smile as he finished his coffee. 

 

"I thought you weren't interested in my life outside the bedroom. We're still on the same page with everything, right?" Cas asked, starting to feel concerned.

 

Inias rolled his eyes and put the now empty mug in the sink. “I just figured you’d want to spend the day finding different ways to fuck me if your plans weren’t that important.”

 

"Well, they are and we still have tomorrow?" Cas asked, wondering why Inias was being so petulant about it.

 

“Yeah, of course,” he said with a small smile as he rinsed out the cup. Inias turned around and wiped his hands off on his pants. “I guess I better go.”

 

Cas grabbed Inias’s hip and pulled him close. "Hey, Inias. What's up? You know you can talk to me about this, right? If you’re going to start having trouble with this... I don't want to hurt you."

 

Inias shook his head and gently pushed Cas away. “I get it. You give off mixed signals and I thought… but it doesn’t matter. I read you. Loud and clear. I promise. I’m just here for you to fuck.”

 

Cas frowned, now he was really worried. "Nias. What do mean by mixed signals? Because I care for you? I mean, yeah I don't want a relationship, but that doesn't mean I want to treat you like a whore. I like you. And I enjoy spending my time with you."

 

“Castiel. Seriously,” he said with a laugh as he made his way to the living room to grab his jacket, “you don’t have to serenade me with bullshit sonnets. I still plan on responding to your booty calls. You’re the best lay I’ve had, I’m not about to let that go. But I’m a big boy, you don’t need to fake romance your fake boyfriend just so I’ll keep sucking your dick. Alright?”

 

Cas rolled his eyes and followed Inias to the door. Before he opened it, he pulled him close and into a kiss. "I'm serious, Nias. I don't want to give this up either." 

 

Inias gave him a pointed look. “You aren’t doing it on purpose, are you? You seriously can’t see how much what you say comes across as a mixed signal.”

 

Cas had no idea what Inias was talking about. "I don't know what you mean. I'm just being honest with you."

 

He shook his head and let out a soft laugh. “Most guys who want a no strings situation don’t say the sweet shit you say.” Inias opened the door and almost ran directly into Dean, who was balancing a paper bag in one arm, the other arm poised and ready to knock, all while Baby was jumping around excitedly, causing Dean to sway.

 

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t realize…” Dean gave him an apologetic look. “I can come back?” he offered.

 

Inias quirked his brow and said, “No need. I was leaving.” He whirled around and yanked Cas in for a rather filthy, albeit brief, kiss. It was almost possessive, like he was doing it for show. “See you tomorrow.” He swept by Dean, petting Baby on her head as he nodded to Dean and disappeared down the stairs.

 

Dean shook his head in apology. “Dude, I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?” Cas replied, still feeling slightly stunned by what just happened. He let Dean into his apartment and greeted Baby by ruffling her fur. "Hey, you. Are you the surprise?"

 

“Yeah, she is. Hope that’s okay?” Dean chuckled and his eyebrows shot up as he looked around. “The fort looks smaller, but your place looks great, Cas.”

 

Cas grinned up at him. "I told you you can bring her over.” He walked up to Dean to pull him into a hug before he realized he still wasn’t wearing a shirt. “And yeah, I unpacked a lot of stuff. I even finished assembling my bed.”

 

“I can tell,” he said with an eyebrow waggle. Dean started moving towards the kitchen with the paper bag. “Also, nice show. I was half tempted to flirt with you to see if he’d piss on your leg,” he teased.

 

"You think that's what that was? That he was marking his territory?" Cas asked thoughtfully as he went over to his desk chair to grab a t-shirt. 

 

Dean scoffed and nodded. “Pretty obvious. But seeing as I interrupted you guys, I guess I can’t blame him. Sorry about showing up without waiting for you to text back. But I found my waffle maker and couldn’t wait to make you the best breakfast.” He pulled out a waffle iron with the Death Star on it and smiled proudly as he showed Cas. “Huh?”

 

"Where have you been all my life?" Cas breathed out as he walked back to Dean, grabbed his head and kissed his forehead. "That's awesome, Dean. Who knew there was a little nerd in you?"

 

He gave Dean a cup with coffee before he sighed. "And you didn't interrupt anything. He was just on his way home anyway." Cas was really confused by all of it. He had no idea what to do with Inias.

 

Dean took a sip of the coffee and coughed, shaking his head. “No. I’m glad I brought my coffee.” He pulled out a bag and handed it to Cas. “And I’m glad you got your blue balls taken care of,” he said with a wink.

 

When Cas started to make new coffee, he realized that Inias had drank the coffee that Cas made him without any complaints. He was even happy about the fact Cas had made him one. Cas took in a deep, thoughtful breath, wondering what that meant. If it meant anything at all. Did he really give Inias mixed signals? And if yes, maybe... did that mean something? He looked up at Dean with a confused look. "Sorry, what?"

 

Dean chuckled and took the coffee back, heading to Cas’s machine to make a new pot. “I was just giving you shit. You need more sleep? I could take Baby for a nice, long walk?” he offered.

 

"No, I'm alright. Sorry." Cas scrubbed his hand over his face. "Just a very confusing morning. Nothing a good cup of coffee can't fix."

 

“Wanna talk about it?” Dean asked as he dumped Cas’s coffee in the sink. 

 

Cas rifled his fingers through his hair. “I'm not sure about my feelings for Inias,” Cas admitted after a long moment, leaning against his counter. “He said I'm giving him mixed signals. I thought I was just being nice.”

 

Dean gave him a sweet smile and said, “Well, maybe you like him more than you thought?”

 

Cas shrugged thoughtfully. "I do like him, but... I don't know, I think Inias isn't used to people being nice to him. He told me a few things about his past relationships and..." Cas shook his head. "I mean, just because I make him a cup of coffee in the morning instead of point blank throwing him out of my apartment, doesn't mean that I have subconscious feelings for the man, right?"

 

“Can’t answer that for you, but you’d think something like a cup of coffee wouldn’t be a big deal. Especially if you gave him the poison you tried to give me.” Dean winked at him as he started rifling through his cupboards without asking, clearly looking for supplies to make the waffles as the coffee started brewing.

 

"Well, he’s a barista and makes awesome coffee, and he still drank mine without complaining, so yeah... I don't know. Am I making a big deal out of it?" He rolled his eyes at himself. "Sorry," he grumbled as he rubbed his hands over his face before he opened another cupboard to give Dean all of the ingredients he was looking for and a bowl to mix them in.

 

Dean shrugged. “Want me to pretend that was the best coffee I’ve ever tasted?” he teased as he poured a cup for both of them. “And you know it’s okay if you like him, right?”

 

Cas drew closer to Dean and grabbed the cup with a mumbled thank you before he rested his forehead on Dean’s shoulder for a moment. "Yes, I know that, but I didn't know I wasn't allowed to like him in a no strings attached relationship." He reluctantly looked up, shaking his head. "Usually I would have called it off by now. But I need an outlet. I know it's selfish."

 

Dean ruffled Cas’s hair. “You’ve been up front with him, right?”

 

“Yes, of course.” Cas closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the closeness. “I told him from the start that this is just about sex and will never be more.”

 

“Then it’s on him if he caught feelings, Cas. So, whether you end it now or later, either way it’ll suck.” Dean turned around and drew him in for a hug. “Don’t let it ruin your day.” As he drew back, he added, “And if you want, I’ll cool it on the teasing.”

 

Cas sighed and nodded. "Yeah, that would be nice."  He had no idea why he was suddenly so emotional. He pressed his forehead against Dean's shoulder again, murmuring, "Fuck, I hate hurting people."

 

“With the exception of assclowns like Trump, most people don’t like hurting people.” Dean pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. “If it makes you feel better, I think you’re a dick sometimes and I still like you.”

 

Cas looked up with a frown. "It doesn't, but thanks." He shook his head. "Sorry for being such a downer this morning. I shouldn't be really. Don't know what's up with me either."

 

“How about I make you some awesome Death Star waffles and you can cuddle with Baby in the fort? She’s almost as good at cuddling as I am.”

 

That sounded like the most perfect idea of the century. "Okay, Darth Waffle." He chuckled before he pressed closer, whispering a quiet thank you against Dean's shoulder before he went to his fort. He didn't even need to do anything. As soon as he lied down on the couch and looked at Baby, she jumped on it and rested her muzzle on his leg, watching him. He stroked over her head and scratched behind her ears as he started to drift away in his thoughts. 

 

He asked himself a lot of questions. He had started to unpack, started to build a life. Maybe he should rethink other aspects of his life too. Like letting people get closer. Try a relationship again. Maybe he should ask Inias if he wanted to try a date. Of course there was his confusing feelings about Dean. But Dean and him... Who was he kidding? It would never go anywhere other than friendship, especially with Dean still not being over the loss of his fiancé and having a strict rule against dating people he worked with. 

 

And that’s when he heard it, Dean was singing  _ Africa  _ by Toto while tinkering in his kitchen.

 

It felt so weird. So domestic and intimate and he had no idea why. He just laid there on the couch, cuddling with Dean's dog, feeling happy all of a sudden. In that moment, everything felt so right and real. Like exactly something he wanted to have in his life. With Dean things were just easy, clear. With Inias… it was fun, but he didn’t feel this warmth in his chest, telling him everything was alright.

 

Which led him back to the start. He wanted more with Dean. Not with Inias. But Dean wasn't available. He gave Baby a pained look, whispering, “Any helpful tips?”

 

She barked and licked his face. 

 

He chuckled and held his hand in front of his face. "Hey, I just showered, thank you very much."

 

“How many waffles do you want?” Dean called out from the kitchen.

 

“Three, my sith lord," Cas replied with a chuckle. "Baby thought I needed another shower."

 

He could hear Dean laugh. “She does that. Lick her back! That’ll show her!”

 

“She looks very fuzzy. Not sure if that’s a good idea, Dean!” He grinned at the dog who started to crawl higher on the couch, putting her paws on his stomach because Cas had dared to stop petting her.

 

She nudged her nose against his hand and practically ended up laying on top of him.

 

"I think we have to stay here, Dean. I'm trapped." Cas sighed theatrically as he closed his eyes. This was really cozy, especially with the smell of coffee and waffles in the air.

 

Dean’s chuckle grew closer as he ducked his head in through the fort entrance and smiled. “I’d say it sounds like a plan, but I promised you a day of falling in love with Seattle.” He pet Baby’s head and pressed a kiss to her snout. “What do you want on your waffles?”

 

"You naked," Cas said without thinking.

 

That was met with a pursing of lips and amused chuckle. “Your stamina is porn star level.”

 

Cas pursed his lips in response. “Only had sex once this morning. Did you bring chocolate syrup by any chance? I think mine is empty.” No, it was definitely empty because he had used it for something other than waffles. 

 

Dean nodded. “Yup. Brought caramel, fudge, whipped cream, and chocolate chips. In case you wanted the most ridiculously unhealthy breakfast in the world.”

 

"Uh, then I’ll take chocolate, and chocolate, and caramel, and did I mention chocolate?" Cas grinned, trying to pull Dean to him on the couch, but Baby was pretty effective in pinning him down with her weight.

 

“Good, ‘cause you’re gonna need the energy.” Dean ruffled Cas’s hair again. “And only once,” he said with a scoff and amused eye roll.

 

“Yes, mother,” Cas replied before he turned to Baby. “Did you hear that? Do you think he means I need energy for sex?"

 

Baby barked excitedly and Dean groaned, pushing himself up off of the couch. Cas was pretty sure he heard Dean mutter, “Traitor,” to Baby as he made his way back to the kitchen.

 

“You’re a good dog.” Cas scratched her behind the ears again. “I think I’ll keep you when Dean isn’t looking. What do you say?”

 

Baby licked his face again.

 

Cas rubbed his wet face against his t-shirt sleeve. "Yeah, you're right. My shower wasn't good enough. Now that we're friends, you're allowed to say that."

 

“Chocolate chips in the waffles, or on? Or both?” Dean called out.

 

“Both! The more the better,” Cas yelled back. His leg was falling asleep. He would probably need to stand up soon, but it was damn cozy.

 

Baby tilted her head at him, as if asking if he was okay. The dog was weirdly intuitive.

 

“You’re getting heavy, Baby,” he said with a sigh before he added, “your Daddy is better at cuddling, no offense.”

 

The dog nudged his knee with her nose. That’s when Dean called out, “Yours are almost done. Want me to bring them to you?”

 

“I could try to crawl over if you give me a minute,” Cas replied, trying to carefully pull his legs out from under Baby. He successfully freed himself and stood up only to stumble to his knees because both of his legs were asleep. “Ouch,” he groaned from the floor before he crawled out of the fort.

 

Suddenly Dean was at his side. “Shit, Cas. You okay?”

 

“Yeah.” He looked up at Dean. “I just need blood flow in my legs again.”

 

“Dude, you can push her off next time. She won’t be mad. I do it to her all the time,” he said as he helped Cas up.

 

Cas braced his weight against Dean, looking at him. “I didn’t realize until it was too late. You‘re much more comfortable to cuddle with.”

 

Dean smiled and wrapped his arm around Cas’s waist. “Yeah, but I’m nowhere near as cute.”

 

“You’re a pretty close second though,” Cas remarked playfully as he got lost in Dean’s green eyes again. That was happening a lot lately, but it was hard to look away from something so beautiful.

 

Dean chuckled and walked him to the kitchen. He braced Cas against the counter as he presented his plate. Three Death Star waffles were piled and completely smothered in fudge, caramel, and whipped cream. “Here you go, kitten. This’ll make you feel better.”

 

Cas probably smiled like a kid at Christmas. “This is awesome, Dean.” He sat down and gave him a quick smile. “Can you please choose a different pet name for me?”

 

“Huh?” Dean chuckled as he poured more batter onto the waffle iron.

 

“I call Inias, ‘kitty,’ because he scratches me. It’s weird when you call me basically the same thing,” he explained before he bit into his waffle. It was so heavenly, pretty much an orgasm in his mouth. A mouthgasm.

 

Dean quirked his brow and shrugged. “I called you kitten first. Doesn’t seem fair that I have to change,” he argued.

 

“Can’t you choose something that matches me, at least? I have no similarity to a kitten. I’m not sweet, I don’t scratch, and I don’t leave my fur everywhere.”

 

Dean turned to face him after closing the iron. He braced his hands against the counter, leaning his back against it. “What’s your deal, Cas? What’s this really about?”

 

Cas looked up in confusion. "What do you mean?"

 

“Is this actually about the pet name?”

 

Cas furrowed his brow. “Um, yes. What else would it be about? I’m a pretty straight forward guy, Dean. I don’t have hidden agendas.”

 

Dean shrugged and turned back around. “Alright.”

 

"What do you think it was about?" Cas asked, wondering what had prompted Dean to ask in the first place.

 

“No idea, it’s why I asked.”

 

"It reminds me of sex with Inias." Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean. "And I try not to think of sex when we spend time together. Which will probably work for a few more minutes before I have nothing else on my mind again."

 

Dean chuckled. “See? Was that so hard?”

 

"I thought me trying not to think about sex today was obvious. I mean... yesterday was really hard." Cas stood up and walked over to Dean, wrapping his hands around his waist. "Pun intended."

 

With a sigh, Dean turned in his embrace, pressing his forehead against Cas’s. “You literally just got laid,” he chastised, but there was no bite to it.

 

Cas gently carded his fingers through Dean's hair, whispering, "Yeah, but not by you."

 

Dean let out a soft laugh and shook his head. “Thought we were gonna cool it on the teasing?”

 

“Easier said than done though.” Cas sighed deeply before he sat down again and revisited his waffles. “These waffles are amazing. How can I persuade you to make me breakfast everyday?”

 

“Pretty sure you couldn’t afford me,” he quipped as he pulled open the iron and used a fork to place the waffle on a plate.

 

“I pay in awesome kisses and sex?” Cas suggested with a grin.

 

Dean chuckled. “See? I don’t know that.”

 

“You could kiss me and see for yourself,” Cas replied with a playfully evil grin.

 

“That right?” he challenged.

 

“Yep.” Cas grinned as he waved him closer with an eyebrow waggle.

 

To his surprise, Dean drew closer, stepping right up to him. He crossed his arms over his chest and quirked his brow.

 

“Alright, alright.” Cas held up his hands in a mocking defensive gesture. “I’ll stop flirting with and teasing you.”

 

Dean smiled and reached out, gently rubbing some chocolate from the corner of Cas’s mouth with the pad of his thumb. He then proceeded to suck it off of his thumb with a smirk. “You and I both know that ain’t true.”

 

That was so unfair. Dean wasn't even trying. He squinted his eyes at him. “You’re a fucking tease.”

 

“Why? ‘Cause of that?” Dean chuckled and shook his head. “If I’d wanted to tease you, I would’ve licked it off directly.”

 

Cas scrubbed his hand over his face with a groan. “Seriously?  I thought you wanted to go easy on me today?”

 

“I am,” he countered, “still haven’t licked your face.”

 

Cas smeared some chocolate purposefully over his lips before he teased back, “Are you going to?”

 

Dean laughed and shook his head. “You win this round.” He leaned in, slightly hunched over as he invaded Cas’s space. Dean was suddenly impossibly close and just as he was about to close the distance between them, he laughed again and hummed. “Now  _ that  _ is teasing.”

 

Cas licked the chocolate from his lips and shrugged. “You have no idea what you’re missing.” Damn, did he wish Inias was here right now. Just the few minutes with Dean had already caused his dick to fully wake up again.

 

“I’m sure I don’t,” he said as he made his way back to the waffle iron.

 

Cas decided it was high time they talked about less dangerous topics. For his own sanity. "So what are we going to do fi – "

 

His phone interrupted him and he frowned when he looked at it. It was Charlie, telling him that there was a problem with the servers. "Fuck," he murmured. "I'm sorry, but I think we’ll need to make a quick stop at work."

 

“What’s up?” Dean asked as he started smothering own own waffles in chocolate and whipped cream.

 

“Charlie said there’s a problem with the server. I have to get in and take a look,” he replied thoughtfully as he typed back his response to Charlie.

 

_ Cas: Can’t you do it? I’m in the middle of something. _

 

_ Charlie: No can do. I’m in Vancouver for the weekend and Kevin’s in Portland. _

 

“Damn, I really need to go. Both my muppets aren’t anywhere near home.”

 

“Do I have time to finish my waffles?”

 

"Of course." Cas quickly finished his last waffle before he went into the bathroom to get ready, brush his teeth and tame his hair. It was a lost cause, but at least he tried. 

 

He hoped the server problem was just a quick fix, so he could enjoy the day with Dean without any interruptions. When he returned to Dean, his gaze fell on Baby on the couch. "Can we take her to work with us?"

 

Dean nodded. “I figured as much. I’ve done that occasionally when I had to go in on the weekend, I’ll bring her with me.”

 

“Okay, sorry about that. I hope it’ll be an easy fix,” Cas murmured while he wondered where his jacket was.

 

“I’m not worried,” he said with a mouthful of chocolate waffle.

 

Cas raised an eyebrow at him. "Have you ever heard of Murphy's law and computers? It's Saturday, everything that can go wrong,  _ will  _ go wrong."

 

Dean waved him off, swallowing his food before he said, “Just use your elf magic or whatever it is you people do.”

 

Cas sighed and shook his head. "At some point you have to tell me why you would think IT has anything to do with elf magic."

 

He just shoveled another large bite into his mouth and gave him a cheesy grin, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

 

He still looked incredibly endearing and cute, and Cas wondered what was wrong with him. He knew he had started to develop a big crush on Dean and that was terribly inconvenient. "Stop looking so cute." He pressed his palm over Dean's face. 

 

Dean chuckled and finally swallowed. “Whose car do you want to take?”

 

“Yours?” Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “I might still have some, um, boxes in the back of my car.”

 

“Sure,” he said with a smile as he took another big bite.

 

For some reason, he felt the need to defend himself, mostly because he didn't want Dean to get the wrong impression. “It's not that I still think of leaving. It’s just… a process. It's the first time in years I’ve started unpacking and it still feels weird.” He fiddled with his thumbs before he admitted, ”And it keeps the panic at bay to know I still have boxes in the car.”

 

Being pulled in for a hug was the last thing he expected. Dean had been out of the chair and in his arms before he could blink. “You don’t have to explain yourself, Cas. I promised you no judgement,” he whispered before drawing back and giving him an earnest smile.

 

Again Cas felt incredibly safe with Dean. The usual panic that always set in when people got close, he didn’t have that with Dean. Just the opposite. He couldn’t remember a time when he had felt so safe and understood by someone. He knew he trusted Dean, he just couldn’t explain how that happened. “Thank you.” He gave him a quick smile. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

 

Dean nodded and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “What are friends for?”

 

“Yeah...” Cas gave him another quick smile, thinking that he would like to be more than friends with Dean. He cleared his throat before he sat down, waiting for him to finish his breakfast.

 

“Did you ever block those sites to piss off Zachariah?” Dean asked around a mouthful of waffle.

 

“I did.” Cas grinned when he remembered the angry mail from that asshole. “Thank you for that tip, Dean. Those sites were a huge security risk.” He snickered before he shook his head. “For some reason he already knew about me and Inias, and he started to talk shit about him. I told him if he goes anywhere near him again, I’ll put bitcoin related websites up on the no-fly list.”

 

“No idea what that means, but I’m sure it’s terrifying,” he quipped.

 

“That’s alright. He knew what it meant.” Cas grinned when he remembered Zachariah’s horrified expression. “I hope it means he’ll keep his distance from now on.”

 

He still felt worried about what Zachariah had said about Inias and what Inias basically had admitted that morning. He couldn’t believe the man let other people treat him that way. He felt angry on Inias's behalf, that even his boyfriends treated him worse than Cas did.

 

Dean chuckled as he shoveled more food into his mouth. He had pretty appalling table manners. “That guy’s such a dick.”

 

“Yeah,” Cas replied thoughtfully, as he pulled out his phone and wrote Inias a text message.

 

_ Cas: I could pick you up from work tomorrow? You said 1 right? _

 

_ Inias: How about we meet at my place at two? _

 

Dean tapped Cas’s forehead to get his attention. “Put that away,” he chastised with a chuckle.

 

“And watch you murder that waffle in cold blood?” Cas chuckled before he typed back with a frown.

 

_ Cas: Sure. _

 

Before he could stop himself he added,

 

_ Cas: Any particular reason? _

 

_ Inias: You’re cute. See you tomorrow. _

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cas mumbled before he pocketed his phone with a headshake.

 

“Degrassi High, what’s up?” Dean asked with a wink.

 

Cas shrugged. "Inias just called me cute for no reason and didn't answer my question. He’s hard to read sometimes."

 

Dean chuckled and leaned forward with his fork, gently tapping some chocolate on Cas’s nose. “He’s right about one thing, you’re damn cute. I mean, what is this, Cas? Really?”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose and ignored the question. "Really, Dean? Chocolate on my nose? You know you have to clean it up now, right?"

 

“Stop using sexual innuendo to distract me,” he warned as he pressed a dollop of whipped cream on Cas’s cheek.

 

"Stop putting food on my face if you don't intend to lick it off," Cas instantly shot back.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and stood up, leaning over as he quickly licked the chocolate off of his nose, then whipped cream off of his cheek. He sat back down and said, “Now tell me what’s going on.”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose again and rubbed his sleeve over his face. That hadn't been sexy in the slightest. "I don't know," he admitted after a moment. "Maybe I've been out of the relationship game for too long."

 

Dean leaned back in his chair and waved his fork expectantly. “Read me the texts.”

 

Cas pulled out his phone and opened his messages, but instead of reading them out loud, he handed his phone to Dean.

 

Dean looked it over before handing the phone back to him. “You said he doesn’t get why you’re being nice to him, right?”

 

"Yes, his past relationships seemed to have been pretty shitty," Cas explained with a sigh.

 

“And he said you were giving mixed signals. He’s drawing a line because you don’t know how to.”

 

Cas leaned back against his chair with a sigh. "You know what? A few days ago I still knew where that line was. And I thought I was just being a decent human being. But now... I don't know. I miss being intimate with someone, you know? I miss having a real relationship. And maybe I'm ready to try it again. But... I don't know. I like Inias. But I don't have a crush on him. I don't think of him when I'm at work or at home. When I'm with him it's amazing and I'm happy, but... shouldn't it be more?" He scrubbed his hand over his face and looked up at the ceiling.  "Yeah, maybe I'm giving him mixed signals."

 

Dean leaned over to pat Cas’s good knee. “Hey, slow down. Take a deep breath. And focus on one thing, let it be anything you want. Just focus on that.”

 

Cas took a deep breath and realized how fast his heart was beating. He looked at Dean, focused on his green eyes and the almost worried look in them. He slowly exhaled and nodded, already feeling calmer again. "It's alright. I'm okay," he murmured.

 

Dean smiled and leaned back again. “Good. Now ask your kitty what type of beer he likes. If his goal is to block your kindness, find a way around it.”

 

Cas took his phone back and typed,

 

_ Cas: What type of beer do you like? _

 

_ Inias: I’m actually more of a hard cider kinda guy. I will hear no judgement. _

 

Cas smiled and showed the answer to Dean. "He answered." Why was he sounding like a giddy schoolgirl? He cleared his throat before he forced his voice into a more manly pitch, "I mean, um, what should I write now?"

 

Dean chuckled. “Ask him what his favorite hard cider is then.”

 

Cas hoped his face wasn't showing the embarrassment he felt when he typed back,

 

_ Cas: No judgement. What’s your favorite hard cider then? _

 

_ Inias: Smith and Forge.  _

_ Inias: And don’t you have a coworker you should be spending time with? ;) _

 

Cas held up his phone to show it to Dean. "You said earlier he was marking his territory when he was leaving. Do you think he’s jealous of you?”

 

Dean nodded emphatically as he swallowed his last bite. “Oh, yeah. He likes you, Cas. Whether or not he sees me as a sexual threat, I’m definitely competition for your time.”

 

It was a nice feeling to know that Inias liked him too. Now he just needed to decide what to do with that information. He gave Dean a longing look before he glanced down at his phone again. Dean wasn't an option. He had fun flirting with him, but that was it. It wasn't going anywhere and he would be wise to stop it before his crush got any bigger.

 

Inias was a realistic alternative and maybe the feelings would come if he spent more time with him. He stared at his phone, wondering how to respond. With Dean it was always so easy. He never had to think.

 

Dean chuckled as he stood up to take the plate to the sink. “Just be casual about it. Be honest if you want, even.”

 

Cas nodded and looked down at his phone. Well, that cemented it really. Dean was actively supporting him with Inias. Cas got the hint. 

 

_ Cas: Doesn't mean I can't talk to my kitty in between ;) _

 

_ Inias: You’re weird. _

_ Inias: But a good weird. See you tomorrow. _

 

Cas frowned at the phone before he chuckled and put it away. "I went from cute to weird in one conversation."

 

“Sounds about right,” Dean said with a nod.

 

"Of course that makes sense to you," Cas replied with a chuckle before he looked around his living room again. "Where the hell did I put my jacket?"

 

“Just ‘cause I made you breakfast, doesn’t mean I’ve become your mother,” Dean said as he pressed a kiss to Cas’s cheek. “I’m gonna walk Baby up and down the street while you look.”

 

Cas rubbed the back of his head with a smile. "I’ll just get another one... since I unpacked a lot more clothes." He quickly went over to his bedroom and grabbed a dark leather jacket from behind the door. 

 

When he got back to Dean at the door, he suddenly realized where his jacket was. "Oh... Inias took my jacket this morning. He was wearing it before he left."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Cute.”

 

"What?" Cas asked him with a frown as he grabbed his keys and opened the door.

 

“Nothin’,” he said as he led Baby out.

 

“It’s not nothing. Come on.” Cas nudged his shoulder.

 

Dean smiled and said, “This is the fun part. When you don’t even realize what it is you’re feeling yet.”

 

Cas pursed his lips before he murmured, "It doesn't feel like fun. More like confusion. And..." Disappointment that he couldn't go for the person he really wanted to date.

 

“Don’t worry, it’ll start getting fun.”

 

Cas didn't only doubt that, he was seriously contemplating going two steps back in his life and building up his walls again. It was safer behind them. He couldn't hurt anyone as long as he was behind them. “What am I doing?” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t even think about trying a relationship again. I’m obviously not ready. This shouldn’t be so hard.”

 

Dean looped his arm with Cas’s and smiled. “If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. That’s okay, too.”

 

"I'm mostly torn," he admitted as he gently pulled Dean closer on their way down to the car. 

 

“About?”

 

Before they reached the entrance door Cas pushed Dean gently against it, kissing his cheek. "This thing we have... it feels pretty good. I should at least feel something similar with someone who is actually available before I throw myself out there." He pulled back again before he shook his head. "But I never gave myself a chance to get to know Inias. Maybe I could have this with him too at some point. Maybe not." He shrugged again, turning towards the door. "But is my curiosity and selfishness worth hurting him over? I think not."

 

“What if your curiosity and selfishness works out?” Dean countered. 

 

Cas opened the door and shook his head. "What are the odds, though?"

 

“I don’t know, I don’t have the spreadsheets in front of me,” he quipped.

 

Cas chuckled and as he held open the door for Dean and Baby. “Good one.” 

 

The truth was that he wasn’t sure if his urge to make more out of Inias and him wasn’t just plain out self-sabotaging. It wouldn’t be the first time. He started to set roots again and it scared him. He was just waiting for the moment when everything would fall apart again.

 

Dean released his hold on Cas’s arm and walked through the door, giving Cas a sweet smile as he said, “It’s okay, Cas. Whatever you’re feeling.” 

 

Baby barked and Dean laughed. “See? Baby agrees with me.”

 

Cas shook his head. “Actually it’s not, Dean,” he murmured as he followed Dean to the car. “I have a tendency towards self-destructive behavior and depression. So I’m not sure if I should always trust what I’m feeling.” 

 

“Then how about we make a deal? If you’re feeling like that, come get me, and you and I will go grab ice cream or something stupid.”

 

Cas tilted his head as he turned to Dean. “What if I don’t realize I feel like that?” Dean had parked right in front of the building and Cas got closer to him when they reached the car. “I haven’t unpacked and tried to have a life in over ten years. The truth is… I’m afraid.” 

 

Dean reached out and grasped Cas’s hand. “And that’s understandable, to be scared. But I have a Batman night light if you ever need to borrow it.”

 

Cas gave him a pointed look. “I’m serious, Dean. What if my urge to change my relationship to Inias is just an act of self-sabotage? I’ve done it before. I burned all my bridges just so I could move on to the next city.”

 

“Then don’t let it. Are you honestly telling me if things didn’t work out with you and Inias that would make you want to leave?”

 

“It might,” Cas answered honestly before he added, “but then... I’ve never met someone like you.”

 

Dean sighed and looked down at Baby before he looked up again. “Look, Cas. This thing between us; this weird, sexually charged friendship? I honestly think it can go the long haul. I don’t know why, but this connection we have is weird and awesome. And I’d like to keep it.”

 

“It  _ is  _ awesome,” Cas replied quietly without looking at Dean. “I haven't felt a connection like this with anyone in a very long time.” But at the same time his relationship with Dean was so much more dangerous than the one he had with Inias. If he destroyed this relationship he would have to quit his job.

 

“Good. Then I won’t let you sabotage it,” he said with a smile.

 

Cas took in a deep breath. “Promise me that you won’t give up on me, even if I get weird and push you away.”

 

Dean spit into his palm and held his hand out to Cas. “Deal.”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose. “Ew, Dean. We’re not in a western with guns and tuberculosis.”

 

“Don’t leave me hanging,” he said, waving his hand expectantly. “Besides, how is it any different from swapping spit if we kissed?”

 

“We haven’t kissed though,” Cas pointed out. 

 

“Well, no, but that isn’t the point.” Dean quirked his brow. “Spit in your palm and shake my hand, or I’m wiping my hand off on your hair.”

 

Cas spit in his own palm and shook Dean's hand with a serious expression. "If you wipe your hand on my shirt or hair, I’ll kill you." 

 

Dean smirked. “You get that’s probably the exact way to get me to do it, right?”

 

“I thought you _ wanted _ to spend the rest of the day with me,” Cas countered with squinted eyes. 

 

When Dean let go of his hand, he pointedly wiped it on his jeans. “I do. Alright, let me get Baby in the backseat and we can go to the office.”

 

Cas wiped his hand on his own jeans before he nodded and made space for Dean to get his dog in the car. His mind was partially already at work and partially worrying about their day. He had no idea how he had gone from looking forward to the day to dreading it in such a short amount of time. So much could go wrong.

 

What if the sexual tension between them got unbearable again? He wondered if that would kill their friendship at some point. Because sexual teasing was nice, as long as it was going somewhere.

 

He tried to banish those thoughts in a far away corner of his mind as he settled in the front seat. That would have to be a problem for future!Cas.

 

After Dean restrained Baby into the backseat with a leash buckle, he slipped into the driver’s seat and gave Cas a smile. “You seem tense.”

 

Cas gave Dean a hopefully reassuring smile. "Sorry, I'm already at work in my head." At least it was a half truth.

 

“I have faith you’ll work your elf magic and we’ll get down to our day of falling in love,” he said as he started his car.

 

_ Falling in love. _ Cas started to cough as he gave Dean a wide eyed look before he remembered that Dean meant the city. Not him. He cleared his throat, sounding raspy. “Yeah. Um, the city, right.”

 

Dean furrowed his brow as he cast a bemused glance in his direction before he focused on backing out. “You okay?”

 

"Yeah, sorry. For a moment I thought you were talking about us." He chuckled and it even sounded false in his own ears before he looked out of the window in embarrassment.

 

Dean ducked his gaze and let out a breathy laugh. “Sorry, guess I should word things better.”

 

Damn, he looked cute like that. "It's alright. It was a stupid assumption on my part,” Cas replied with a wistful smile.

 

“And you don’t do love,” Dean added.

 

Cas tilted his head. “I told you that I’m thinking of trying it again.”

 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “I just thought you meant relationships in general.” He turned to look at Cas when they pulled up to a stop light. “Cas… what are you saying?”

 

Cas shrugged, unsure what he had been unclear about. "Yeah, I meant relationships in general but also, lately, I wondered if I should try dating again."

 

“Oh, and the assumption was I was saying you’d fall in love with me?” he asked in a chuckle and shook his head. “Don’t worry, I like you, Cas. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, let alone a friend.”

 

"Why?" Cas asked after a moment. "Because you're unavailable and it only ends in heartbreak?"

 

There was a beat of silence and a deep sigh before Dean, while keeping his eyes on the road, finally answered him, “Because I’m terrified.”

 

Cas reached over to him and put his palm on his knee, squeezing it. "Understandable. That’s what's holding me back, too. Obviously not for the same reason, but... what if I fuck up again? Do something stupid and ruin another person's life? I can't deal with that again and it would break me. So is it really worth the risk?"

 

Dean grasped Cas’s hand and held it. “Maybe you and I should just run away together. Go live on a beach somewhere, just you, me, and Baby,” he offered in a soft laugh.

 

“Is there internet at this beach?” Cas asked with a smile.

 

“Oh, yeah. We wouldn’t live like total cavemen.”

 

"Okay, I’ll pack the equipment and you the food and drinks." Cas smirked at him.

 

Dean grinned. “Done.”

 

“So what other three things would you take to a lonely beach?” Cas asked as he mirrored Dean’s smile.

 

That was met with a contemplative hum before he said, “I don’t know. I mean, if I had you, my dog, and food, I don’t really know what else I’d need. Other than my cell phone, so I could call and brag to my brother.”

 

Cas chuckled and nodded. "Good choice. I have a stuffed frog, don't judge me. It's on my bed and I can't sleep without it being there."

 

Dean smirked at him. “Now that’s just about the cutest damn thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

"At least you think it's cute. I’ve heard people describe my relationship to my frog as, ‘weird’, ‘super weird’, and ‘I should consider growing up’." Cas shrugged with a smile. Not that he cared what other people thought, but for some reason he hoped Dean would like him as he was.

 

“Fuck that. If a stuffed frog helps you, no one gets a say in that but you.”

 

"It's a great way to test if I should invest time in people. If they judge Frog they're out." Cas shrugged before he added quietly, "Sammy gave it to me for my birthday when I was a kid."

 

Dean smiled and nodded as he pulled into the office building’s parking garage. “Then no one gets to judge Frog.”

 

"I've never been on a vacation before in my life," Cas admitted quietly. "Or to a beach."

 

“Seriously?” Dean sounded dumbfounded and as he pulled into a parking spot, he said, “That’s changing one of our next weekends.”

 

Dean had parked the car and after they both got out, Dean helped Baby out of the backseat. Cas raised his eyebrow at Dean. "You wanna drive to the beach with me?"

 

As he successfully got Baby out of her harness, he smiled. “Hell yeah.”

 

For a moment Cas didn't know what to say. Because driving to the beach together sounded a little too romantic for it to not be a date. "I’ll think about it, alright?"

 

“Sure,” he said as he locked his car and started heading to the elevator. “Washington has some awesome beaches.”

 

"I never pictured it like that. I always imagined people doing whale watching in windbreakers," Cas replied with a chuckle as they entered the elevator and Cas swiped his card through the security pad before he pressed the button for his level.

 

Dean shrugged. “That’s always an option. But there’s so much more you can do than that. Hell, if we go to a dog beach, we can test fate and throw sticks in the water for Baby and hope Jaws doesn’t get her.”

 

Cas covered Baby's ears with a playfully shocked expression. "You didn't hear that, cutie."

 

Dean chuckled. “She likes messing with people just as much as her Daddy, ain’t that right, precious?” he cooed at her, causing Baby to start jumping around in excitement.

 

Cas couldn’t help but smile at them. He knew he would be content watching them interact for hours. He shook himself out of his reverie when they reached his level. “So you wanna watch me work?”

 

Dean shook his head. “Fuck no. That sounds boring as hell. No offense.” He winked at him and pressed a kiss to Baby’s snout. “I’m gonna follow up on a few emails since I’m here. Want me to take Baby with me?”

 

“She can stay with me,” Cas replied with a smile as he started his computer. He liked having the company.

 

“Alright,” Dean said as he handed Baby’s leash to Cas, scratching behind her ears. “You be a good schmoopsie.” As Dean made his way to the door, he turned back and said, “You be good, too, Baby.” He winked before he ducked out of the room. 

 

_ Schmoopsie? Seriously?  _ Cas chuckled and shook his head before he concentrated on his work, scratching Baby’s head as he waited for everything to boot up. “Well, girl, now you’re stuck in IT with me.”

 

Baby panted and licked his hand before resting her head on his knee.

 

"You're nearly as cute as Dean, you know that?" Cas chuckled as he scratched behind her ears. 

 

He looked over the server log files, noticing that the servers had stopped working, so he started to reboot all of them.

 

"Pretty stupid of me to start crushing on your Daddy, right? Do you think you could talk to Dean? Tell him that he should stop being so irresistible?"

 

Baby tilted her head at him before she jumped up to lick his face. 

 

Cas chuckled and cuddled her. "It's nice that you're trying to comfort me here. It's a lost cause, hm?" He scratched Baby's soft ears again. "Do you think I should ask Inias for a date? It's not like I have a chance with Dean anyway."

 

She growled and darted after something under Kevin’s desk. 

 

"Is that a no?" Cas asked with a grin before he bent over to see what she had found.

 

Baby had found Charlie’s susuwatari from her desk and she was happily chewing on it.

 

"Oh, fuck," Cas cursed before he tried to call her over. "No, Baby. Stop eating that."

 

Which she thought was a game as she pulled away from him, now trying to get Cas to chase after her.

 

“Baby, no! Come here.” Cas tried to convince her to come back and bring him the toy. 

 

Baby came to him, but she kept ducking his hand every time he tried to grab the toy.

 

Cas was already buying a new Susuwatari for Charlie in his head. It already looked like a wet, black mess. "Come on, give me the toy, Baby."

 

After another couple minutes of keep away, she dropped the now slobber covered toy in his lap, wagging her tail excitedly. 

 

"Eww, thank you." Cas picked it up with two fingers and put it up on his desk and out of reach. That thing was probably unsalvageable now. Well, he would still wait until it was dry... maybe Charlie wouldn't notice.

 

He leaned back in his chair as he got an email. From Dean.

 

* * *

_To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Panic bells it’s red alert_

 

_ A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" _

 

_ The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." _

 

_ "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. _

 

_ "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" _

 

_ "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." _

 

_ The man below replies, "You must work in management." _

 

_ "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" _

 

_ "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault." _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

When Cas read over the email he burst into laughter. That was like the most accurate description of their job dynamic he had ever read. He clicked on reply instantly. 

 

* * *

_To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Re: Panic bells it’s red alert_

 

_ Where the hell did you find this gem? I’m nearly done fixing the problem by the way. Maybe 10-20 minutes and we’re good to go. Baby just tried to eat our magic office creature that cleans up down here. Do you think Charlie will notice if I just dry off the slobber?  _

 

_ o.o _

 

_Castiel Novak_   
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5377_   
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

He sent Dean the message and leaned back again, checking the progress of an update and the reboot of the first server. Everything was running smoothly. Probably just a freeze because the temperature on one server was too high. They needed to exchange the cooler, probably on Monday. Or maybe it was just the weather. It was pretty warm outside and even in the office it was warmer than usual.

 

* * *

_To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Re: Re: Panic bells it’s red alert_

 

_ There’s a fuck ton of IT jokes on this thing called the internet. It’s amazing. I sent you the one I understood. There’s a fuck ton of ones that I have no idea if they’re funny or not. For example: _

 

_ These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?" _

 

_ The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu" _

 

_ "Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated." _

 

_ See? Like, is that funny? I have no idea. And I vote for leaving the slobber. _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Cas burst into laughter as he read the next joke. For a moment he considered explaining the joke to Dean, but when he started to write out the definition he realized it contained a lot of words Dean probably had never heard of. He deleted everything and wrote,

 

* * *

_To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Don’t panic. The answer is 42_

 

_ It’s very funny for a programmer. I won’t attempt to explain it to you though because when I start throwing out words like array, NUL bytes and ASCII, you’d probably fall asleep up there.  _

 

_ So is that what you’re doing up there? You’re googling nerd jokes to keep me entertained? _

 

_Castiel Novak_   
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5377_   
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

He sighed and leaned back with a smile, for a moment allowing himself to daydream about Dean coming down here and Cas pulling him onto his lap, kissing him lazily before he took him on his desk.

 

He had no idea why he was torturing himself. He gave Baby a pained look. "I'm stupid." 

 

Baby licked his hand and rested her head on his knee again. 

 

He scratched her soft ears again and smiled when Dean replied to his email. He was slightly worried about the weird way his heart skipped when Dean's name turned up in his inbox.

 

* * *

_To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Thanks for all the fish (bet you didn’t think I knew that one, did you?)_

 

_ You can’t prove I’m googling jokes to keep my favorite elf entertained. And I almost fell asleep reading those few words, so I appreciate you not going into detail. _

 

_ What does networking seal say? _

 

_ Arp! Arp! Arp! _

 

_ Is that funny? Man, you guys are weird. _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Cas was happy that Dean didn't see how much he lost it over that last joke. Stupid jokes had always been his weakness. He loved jokes like that, he just couldn't remember them.

 

When he read the subject line he grinned. At least Dean knew the basics. He wasn’t working with nothing.

 

* * *

_To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: I love to be surprised_

 

_ It's very funny!!! _

 

_ And actually I can prove what you're googling. I'm IT. I can see everything! _

 

_ *muhahahahahahhahaahha* (That evil laugh is still work in progress for the Evil League of Evil) _

 

_ Want to come down here to me? I’m almost done. _

 

_Castiel Novak_   
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5377_   
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

And his thoughts went straight to the gutter again. Damn it.

 

* * *

_To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: When I hand you the keys to a shiny new Australia?_

 

_ I’ll take your word for it.  _

 

_ And if you didn’t steeple your fingers like Mr. Burns, can you really call it an evil laugh? _

 

_ I’m on my way. _

 

_ And one more for the road: _

 

_ A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." _

 

_ He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. _

 

_ The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. _

 

_ The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." _

 

_ The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. _

 

_ The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." _

 

_ Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. _

 

_ Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" _

 

_ The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool." _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

"A talking frog  _ is  _ cool," Cas murmured out loud after reading the joke. He would have totally done the same. He squinted his eyes at the computer before scratching his chin. Was that even a joke?

 

He shook his head and got back to finishing up his work when Baby suddenly jumped up from the ground and wagged her tail.

 

Cas turned around when the office door was opened and Dean came in. Baby stormed to him excitedly and all Cas could think of was his little fantasy from a few minutes prior. This day was going to be Hell.

 

“Hey, beautiful. You destroying Beaker’s toys, huh?” he cooed as he stepped into the room. Dean smiled at Cas. “Sorry if she was a pain.”

 

"Don't worry. The cleaning lady could have gotten to that thing too. It always falls on the floor at some point." He returned the smile as he shut down his PC. "She was very supportive and nice the rest of the time."

 

Dean bent down and pressed a kiss to her head. “Who’s my good girl?”

 

Cas tilted his head with a smirk. "Where’s my kiss? I was good, too. I fixed the server problem."

 

Dean chuckled and approached Cas, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Who’s my good boy?”

 

Cas wrapped his arm around him before he pulled Dean onto his lap. "I'm pretty sure I'm not a good boy." He smirked up at him, enjoying the weight of Dean on top of him.

 

“You just said you were,” he returned as he wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck.

 

Cas pulled him a little closer, murmuring, "It was totally a trap and you fell for it."

 

Dean chuckled and ruffled Cas’s hair. “What am I to do with you?”

 

"I have a few things in mind," Cas replied with a low chuckle before he nudged his nose playfully against Dean's throat.

 

“Do you now?” he asked in a lazy challenge as he started massaging Cas’s scalp.

 

Cas hummed, working his fingers slowly up and down Dean's back as he breathed out, "Yeah. They all have something to do with using office furniture for completely different purposes, as usual."

 

Dean let out a soft laugh and tilted Cas’s chin up. “Come on, Casanova. We’ve got a city to explore.”

 

Cas tried to not let his disappointment show and leaned back, freeing Dean from his arms. "So, where are we going first?"

 

Dean smiled as he got up off of his lap and held his hand out for Cas to take. “It’s a surprise.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean hadn’t been kidding when he told Cas he would get his exercise. After taking Baby with them to see the gum wall, a hidden alley by Pike’s Place literally covered in chewed gum, which was disgusting and fascinating to look at at the same time, they dropped her back at Dean’s place because she wouldn’t be able to come with them to all of the other places.

 

Next had been a guided tour of the Seattle Underground. Apparently it was what Seattle had been prior to the 1889 fire that devastated the business district of Pioneer Square. The tour guide was way too into his job, a little too perky for Cas’s taste, but Dean would make faces when the guide wasn’t looking and it made the entire experience all the more amusing. 

 

Then Dean dragged him to a place called Steve’s Weird House. Which was what it was. It wasn’t open to the public, but Dean had worked with the owner on a marketing campaign and he let them in for thirty minutes. Which was enough time to see the creepy circus sideshow exhibits, like two-headed animals and “freaks”. It was a myriad of bizarre and often horrific oddities from all over the world.  

 

After they grabbed lunch at a cute little sandwich shop in Capitol Hill, which Cas learned was the gay district of Seattle, he took him on the Seattle Great Wheel. An enormous ferris wheel on Pier 57 that overlooked the ocean. And for once, the sky was clear and beautiful, making the ride incredibly relaxing. Cas’s only complaint was the fact it wasn’t like a carnival ferris wheel, in which he and Dean could be alone. Instead they were crammed together in the gondola with a family of six. 

 

When they got off of the “ride,” Dean had a huge grin on his face as he grabbed Cas’s arm and dragged him back to his car. “You ready for the last stop before we go to the art show?”

 

Cas chuckled and nodded before he pulled Dean's arm from his sleeve and intertwined their fingers. He pulled him closer with a playful grin. "So we had colorful chewing gum, underground flair, a freak show, and a ferris wheel ride that kills any romance that a place like that could have. You're right, I’m starting to fall in love..." He gave Dean a long look with a smile before he added, "With the city."

 

“I told you. Seattle’s great. And not just because of Starbucks and Pike’s Market,” he said with a chuckle as he twirled Cas out before pulling him back in. 

 

Cas chuckled and put his free hand on Dean's hip, pulling him closer before he pressed a kiss to his cheek. "And you're the most attractive tour guide one can get in this town."

 

Dean straightened an invisible tie. “Damn right.”

 

"So what is this mysterious, magic place you're dragging me to now?"

 

“I made you a promise, didn’t I?”

 

"Is it the mystery soda machine?" Cas asked with a wide grin.

 

Dean returned the grin. “Of course.”

 

“Awesome...” Cas gave him a longing smile before he added, “Save the best for last?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” he said as he opened the passenger side door for Cas.

 

Cas stole another quick kiss on Dean’s cheek with a sassy grin before he slipped into the car. He wondered how far Dean would let this flirting between them go. Up until now he had been pretty receptive, so it was difficult to not get hopeful. Even though he should know better.

 

Dean slipped into the driver’s seat and buckled his seat belt. “Alright, it’s in a sketchy area, but don’t let that scare you.”

 

Cas chuckled before he gave Dean a playfully innocent look. “Well, I have you to protect me, right?”

 

“Thought you were supposed to be the knight in our relationship?”

 

“Do you want me to?” Cas asked. He had gotten the impression that Dean wanted to be the tough one for a change.

 

Dean smirked. “I’m okay with switching,” he said with a wink.

 

To say he was surprised would be an understatement. “Good to know… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though. You can be pretty domineering when you want to.”

 

“I think the term is pushy bottom? Or is it power bottom?” He hummed thoughtfully as he pulled onto the streets and started driving back towards Capitol Hill. 

 

“Oh, that's what you meant. I thought you were saying you also like to top sometimes.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Once in a while, but I prefer bottoming.”

 

Cas nodded, trying not to think about Dean riding him on his office chair. “Huh, yeah I can actually see that… um, I've never done it actually. Switching.”

 

“Really?” He turned to look at Cas for a moment, brow quirked in surprise. “Just not your thing? Or too scared to try it?”

 

“Actually I've never thought about it. I never felt the urge to try and I was either with a woman or very sub-y men.” Cas shrugged before he added, “The role was always clear and I never questioned it.”

 

Dean nodded, lips pursed in clear indication of being impressed. “Well, I highly recommend giving it a shot when you finally get the chance.”

 

Cas didn’t think that was something he wanted to try. He liked submissive partners. Dominant men usually turned him off pretty quickly. “Yeah, not sure I will. I'm not interested enough in trying it and I have a pretty specific type of man I go for. And with…” He shook his head. “It's also different when you just have sexual relationships. I would only try it with someone I trust.”

 

“Makes sense,” Dean agreed as he turned right. “I didn’t lose my virginity, well…  _ that  _ virginity until I was twenty four. And it wasn’t until I had my first real boyfriend.”

 

Cas nodded with a soft smile. “There are things you only do with someone you trust and I think that's okay.”

 

Dean groaned and shook his head. “We gotta steer the conversation a different direction. It’s been too long,” he said with a soft laugh.

 

Cas was relieved he wasn’t the only one affected by that. “I don’t know.” He licked over his suddenly too dry lips. “It's nice to see you squirm for a change. How long ago are we talking?”

 

He cleared his throat and sighed. “Eight months, give or take a week.”

 

Cas stared at him for a long moment in disbelief. “What? How are you not constantly on edge?”

 

Dean scoffed and shook his head. “You don’t make it friggin’ easy on me, I can tell you that much.”

 

“Good to know.” Cas leaned over and rubbed his thumb over Dean's knee. “I was starting to think I'm the only one going insane here.”

 

Dean reached down and gently grasped Cas’s hand, tapping their intertwined fingers against his own knee as he let out a deep breath. “You’re not.”

 

Cas let that sink in for a moment before he swallowed dryly and looked at Dean. “I never had a friend that I was sexually attracted to. I know this between us won't go anywhere, but… do you think this is going to be a problem in the long run? What if we give in to this in a weak moment?”

 

That was met with a soft laugh and Dean smiled. “Then we deal with it like grown ups. We talk about it and go from there.”

 

“Huh.” He pursed his lips and nodded, squeezing Dean’s hand. “That actually sounds like a good plan.”

 

“At least you have an outlet,” he teased. 

 

Cas chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, one that I seriously need. I can’t imagine how you do it. I would start yelling at people, tearing their hearts out.”

 

Dean smirked. “There’s a reason I’m the asshole at work.”

 

Cas gave him a quick grin before he said, “You’ve been out for one night stands before. Why the long wait?” Not that he wanted Dean to go out there, but he had to wonder.

 

“It’s stupid,” he breathed out with a soft, mirthless chuckle.

 

“What is?”

 

After a beat of silence, Dean let out a soft sigh. “I feel guilty. Like I’m not supposed to have those needs.”

 

Cas nodded and echoed the man’s sigh. “That’s not stupid,” he breathed out. “I get it, Dean. And I’m not going to tell you all the shit that other people might say, like he wouldn’t want you to live like that or whatever. It’s not about that. If you don’t feel it’s right, then you shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable.“

 

Dean gave him a soft smile as he squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Cas.”

 

“You’re welcome.” Cas squeezed his hand back before he smirked. “And if you think I’ll go easy on the flirting with you, you’re mistaken.“

 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he returned the smirk and raised him a wink.

 

“See if you still think that when this day’s over,” Cas replied with a low growl.

 

Dean chuckled and waggled his eyebrows. “Challenge accepted.”

 

“Did you just Barney Stinson me?” Cas laughed.

 

“Bitch, please. Barney Stinson  _ wishes  _ he was me.”

 

Cas snickered and shook his head. "You’re definitely more handsome."

 

Dean nodded, giving him a cocky smile. “True story.”

 

And again he spoke without thinking first, "You’d probably look even more handsome naked, on my bed." 

 

The chuckle that erupted from Dean was deep and rumbly. It sent a shiver down Cas’s spine. Dean shook his head slightly. “You really are somethin’ else.”

 

Cas grinned and looked out of the window. "I know you're intrigued though."

 

“Castiel, whatever your middle name could be, Novak, you have  _ no  _ idea.”

 

Cas playfully dragged a finger along the skin of Dean's inner arm with a chuckle. "You could tell me."

 

“You askin’ me to talk dirty to you?” he challenged. 

 

"Yeah." He shrugged and tried to give him a serious look. It would have worked if the damn smile wasn’t attacking his lips out of nowhere. "I mean, you know from one grown up to another. We’ll just talk about it and go from there."

 

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. “If we ever happened, the first thing I would do is make you shut that sassy mouth.”

 

He couldn't stop his laughter any longer. "Don't lie. You love my sassy mouth."

 

“Gotta admit, it’s damn refreshing.”

 

Cas gave Dean a long look before he confessed, "I have a hard time placing what you would like the most in bed." Dean was like no one Cas had ever been with. It was interesting and it was practically taunting his curiosity.

 

Dean chuckled and shrugged before he released Cas’s hand to take ahold of the steering wheel as he turned down a narrow road and started coming to a slow. “Best is arbitrary. What I loved most two years ago, two months ago, two weeks ago… you get the idea. It changes based on who your partner is.”

 

"So you adapt to your partner's needs?" Cas asked hesitantly, not sure if he had understood that correctly.

 

“While I’m not saying I wouldn’t, no. What I mean is… what you like about Inias, whether it’s the scratches, or whatever; it wouldn’t be what you like best with me. With me, you might like the fact that I’m bowlegged, which means I can wrap my legs around your waist just right. Making sex standing up a helluva lot easier on your back.” Dean waggled his eyebrows as he found a spot to park and effortlessly parallel parked.

 

Cas was breathing quicker now. The images that Dean's words had conjured, having Dean’s legs wrapped around him as he fucked him, was a hell of a turn on. “I see,” he breathed out slowly before he cleared his throat. “And I like that he gets so desperate and submissive. But that’s been one of my biggest kinks for a long time.”

 

Dean unbuckled his seatbelt and held Cas’s gaze. “I might be a little too pushy for you then.”

 

"And weirdly enough, I'm still interested," Cas replied truthfully as he unbuckled his own seatbelt.

 

Dean chuckled and nodded towards the other side of the street. “Come on. We’ve got mystery sodas to buy.”

 

Cas looked out of the window for a moment. Dean hadn't exaggerated when he told him the area was a rough neighborhood. "Okay." He smirked. "Let the mystery adventure begin." 

 

He got out of the car and rounded it, taking Dean's hand in his as soon as he was outside. Cas gave him a soft smile. "So tell me about this place."

 

Dean smiled, looking either direction before urging Cas to cross the street. “So the machine’s been around for decades. No one knows who owns it, who stocks it. And rumor has it sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll get a discontinued soda. And you’ll almost never get the same soda twice. And it’s part of what I love about Seattle. You can sometimes stumble on something rare and beautiful, something to make you stop in a busy, chaotic world.”

 

Cas knew that he stumbled over something rare and beautiful, but it wasn't the old and mysterious vending machine they were standing in front of. He looked at the yellow buttons with a soft smile and grabbed his wallet. "Do you want mystery,  _ mystery, _ or... um, mystery?"

 

“I think I’ll take… mystery,” he said in a feigned contemplative tone.

 

"That's a good and solid choice.." Cas dropped in the seventy five cents and pressed the top middle button.

 

Dean reached down and pulled out a Shasta cola. He laughed and shook his head. “Who the fuck drinks Shasta?”

 

Cas chuckled and put another seventy five cents into the machine. "Let's see what I get when I press the same button again." When he reached into the slot to grab it, Dean barked out a laugh. It was a grape Fanta.

 

“I’ll trade you.”

 

"Alright." Cas gave Dean his soda with a soft smile. "Just because I'm a caffeine addict and you're hot."

 

Dean chuckled as he took Cas’s soda and handed him his. “Good to know my looks finally got me something.”

 

"I can't imagine that was the first time," Cas quipped.

 

“No, it pretty much gets me a lot of things. From clients to free bagels.” Dean chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “I know I should probably feel bad about that, but I don’t really.”

 

"And you shouldn't." Cas grinned and opened his soda, clinking it against Dean's. "To hot men and mysteries that will never get solved."

 

Dean nodded and lifted his soda in salute. “I’ll drink to that.”

 

Cas couldn't look away from him as he took a sip from his cola, that was sweeter than any Coke he had ever tasted, but it didn't matter. He liked sweet and he liked making Dean happy with his grape Fanta. "It's been a great day so far," Cas said, "thank you for the tour."

 

“Any time. And I mean that. I’ve got more to show you if you want.”

 

Cas leaned forward with a flirty smile. "I'd always like to see more."

 

Dean chuckled and quirked his brow. “I’m sure.”

 

A police car drove past them with blaring sirens and Cas automatically moved in front of Dean, squinting his eyes at the road. "Art gallery next?"

 

“Sounds good, Superman.” Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and started pulling him in the direction of the car.

 

"Superman?" Cas chuckled as he squeezed Dean's hand. He loved that Dean liked to hold hands with him, and was doing it on his own.

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah. You have a fortress of solitude, you are a mild mannered nerd by day, kinky sex kitten by night. Pretty much Superman.”

 

"I can't scoop you up and fly away," Cas pointed out when they both slipped into the car again.

 

“I’m not a fan of flying, so that actually works out.”

 

"Why is that?" Cas asked curiously. He loved flying.

 

Dean shifted into gear and started pulling out of the spot. “I swear, it’s like people have never seen movies like  _ La Bamba  _ or  _ Alive.” _

 

"I never did," Cas admitted with a smile, "but I doubt a movie would kill my fascination with flying."

 

“You know how I know I’ll never be in a plane crash? I don’t go on planes.” Dean chuckled as he took another sip of his soda.

 

"Why would you think the plane is going to crash? It's very unlikely. A car crash, on the other hand..."

 

Dean hushed him and started petting his steering wheel. “Don’t you listen to that mean man.”

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head. "You talk to your car like you talk to Baby."

 

“Just because she doesn’t have a heart, or is alive, doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve kind words.”

 

“You’re surrounded by girls in your life,” Cas replied, loving the way Dean’s eyes were shining with amusement and the way he seemed a lot more relaxed than usual. 

 

Dean shrugged. “Makes me feel like Charlie.”

 

"Is she a womanizer? Because I could totally see that." Cas leaned back in the seat, his finger toying playfully with Dean's knee.

 

At that Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. “Charlie as in  _ Charlie’s Angels.” _

 

"Oh." Cas laughed before he grinned at Dean. "It could have worked for our Charlie as well." 

 

Dean smiled. “I didn’t know Beaker liked the ladies.”

 

"Oh, yes." Cas winked at him. "And she seems to be very popular with them too. I mean, I get it. I probably would have hit on her, if she wasn't exclusively into girls."

 

“She’s definitely cute,” Dean affirmed as he pulled into a large parking lot.

 

"And very geeky." Cas grinned before he added, "We would never run out of things to talk about." He stroked along Dean's leg with a teasing smile. "But, to illustrate my luck, add her to the list of very cute people that are totally unavailable."

 

Dean chuckled and tapped his fingers against Cas’s wrist. “But I’m not geeky. You’d definitely run out of things to talk to me about.”

 

"You're a little geeky," Cas corrected before he added, "and even if you weren't, there is still something about you."

 

He didn't elaborate on that, mostly because he didn't even entirely know what that meant.

 

“You can thank my brother for that. If it were up to me, I would’ve stuck to my westerns and classic cinema.”

 

"I want to send your brother a 'thank you' card," Cas replied before he drank the rest of his soda.

 

Dean pulled into a spot and put the car in park as he nodded. “I’ll relay the message when I see him in a couple weeks.”

 

"Where does he live?"

 

“Palo Alto. California.” Dean unbuckled his seatbelt and finished his soda.

 

"Are you visiting him?" He wondered how long he would have to go without seeing Dean. Even though they hadn’t known each other for that long, he was already used to their daily interactions.

 

Dean nodded and got out of the car, as they met in front of the hood, he smiled and looped his arm through Cas’s. “Yeah, for a little under two weeks.” After a beat he added, “The start of  _ the  _ week.”

 

Cas nodded slowly. "Yeah, probably a good idea. I will miss you though."

 

Dean quirked his brow. “I’ll only be a text away.”

 

"So you're going to text me?" Cas asked slowly, a smile playing around his lips.

 

“Someone’s gotta send you weird, only funny to elves, jokes.”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile. "Yeah, whatever would I do without them?"

 

Dean shrugged. “Probably be none the wiser.”

 

"Probably also be pretty bored," Cas added with a wink before he nodded to the door. "You have to take a few silly pics with my phone for my brother when we're in the gallery."

 

“Done,” he said as he opened the door for Cas with a slight bow.

 

Cas chuckled and grabbed Dean’s hand in his again as they entered the building. The top of the building had the words: “Carnegie Free Public Library,” but as they stepped inside, the layout was clearly that of a pub. With pool tables and other pub games in one room, a full bar and tables in another room.

 

When he quirked his brow at him in confusion, Dean chuckled and (with a surprisingly good Australian accent) said, “Welcome to a little piece of the down under.” He smiled and reverted back to his normal voice. “This used to be a library, but over the years, it’s been converted into a variation of different bars and pubs. This is the most recent version and the art show is on their outdoor patio.”

 

Dean expertly guided him through the pub, through a door that led to a rather large outdoor patio. There were several dangling twinkle lights along the makeshift rafters, along with a stage and a mini bar set up. The entire atmosphere was warm and welcoming. And some makeshift walls had been erected out of plywood for some of the artists to display their work. But there was also a lot of sculpture art too.

 

Before he could ask Dean what he wanted to look at first, someone else barked out his name,

 

“Dean! You made it!”

 

Dean let go of Cas’s hand to approach an older man in a wheelchair, wearing a plaid button up shirt and dirty baseball cap. “Bobby! Of course, man. Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” He nodded for Cas to come over to them. “I want you to meet my friend Castiel.”

 

Bobby smiled and leaned forward, reaching out his hand to Cas. “Good to meet ya’. What made you agree to be this idjit’s date?”

 

Dean smacked Bobby upside the back of his head. “Friend. And technically, I’m  _ his  _ date.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Cas shook the man’s hand with a friendly smile before he gave Dean a playfully shocked look. “Wait? This is a date? Why didn’t you tell me?“

 

“You asked me,” he defended in the same feigned shock. 

 

Cas chuckled before he turned to Bobby again. "Dean told me about this place. He is my tour guide today. A tour to make me fall in love with Seattle."

 

Bobby grinned and nodded. “And what’s the verdict?”

 

“Falling very hard and fast,” Cas replied, trying his best not to look at Dean as he said it.

 

The grin turned knowing and the older man chuckled. He was about to say something when another man approached. He was a little younger than Bobby, a dark beard framing his face, and probably exceedingly overdressed for an impromptu art show on the patio of a kitschy bar and grill. “Good to see you getting out there again,” he addressed Dean in a British accent.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled the strange man in for a hug. “He’s just a friend, which…” Dean drew back and waved between Cas and the stranger. “Cas, meet Fergie. Fergie, meet Cas.”

 

“How many times have I told you not to call me that?”

 

“I’ve lost count,” Dean said with a shrug.

 

Cas gave them a confused look before he shook Fergie's hand. "Nice to meet you. And yeah, we're just friends. From work." Which somehow sounded wrong to say, because it felt like they were so much more.

 

“Ah, well, my condolences. And my name is Fergus. But feel free to call me Crowley,” he said as he shook Cas’s hand and approached Bobby, bracing his hand on his shoulder. “Sold anything yet?”

 

"You wouldn't believe it, but yes. Two pieces." Bobby covered Crowley's hand on his shoulder with his own.

 

Cas turned to Dean, wrapping his arm over his shoulder. "Wanna take a picture of me in front of the giraffe?"

 

Dean nodded and as he pulled out his phone, Crowley rolled his eyes and held his hand out. “Wouldn’t you rather be in the picture together?”

 

Cas handed Crowley his phone with a grateful smile. "Yes, that would be awesome, thanks."

 

Dean pulled Cas into him, wrapping his arms around Cas’s torso as he rested his head on Cas’s shoulder from behind. 

 

Cas leaned against him. "Are you gonna give me bunny ears behind my back?"

 

“I am now,” he said with a laugh as he moved his right arm from around Cas to, likely, behind him. 

 

"Is the giraffe's head in it?" Cas asked Crowley, who held up his phone, trying to frame them.

 

Crowley nodded and snapped a few pictures before he leaned in to show Bobby. They shared amused smiles before he handed Cas his phone back. “There you are.”

 

Dean leaned his head further over Cas’s shoulder, trying to look at the phone. “Let me see.”

 

Cas thanked Crowley before he held his phone so Dean could see. Cas’s breathing hitched when he saw them. They looked like a happy couple on vacation. “Damn, we look cute together.” He chuckled as he turned his head to look at Dean.

 

Dean grinned and nodded. “Wanna go mingle? See where else we can take fun pics?”

 

“Yeah.” His hand automatically went to Dean’s before he remembered that he had probably let go of his hand on purpose. “What about the elephant on rollerblades statue?”

 

“You had me at elephant on rollerblades.” Dean turned to Bobby and Crowley. “We’ll circle back to you.”

 

At their harmonic nods, Dean smiled and started pushing Cas in the direction of the elephant statue.

 

“I’m pondering if we should photograph ourselves stealing the rollerblades or pushing the elephant?” He looked over his shoulder to see if Dean’s friends were out of earshot. “You okay?”

 

Dean quirked his brow in bemusement. “Yeah, why? Also I vote for stealing the rollerblades.”

 

“Just checking.” He smirked before he pulled Dean closer. “I'm trying to take a selfie with both of us as thieves.” He explained as he held the camera away from them, so they both would fit in the frame with the statue. “Sammy will love this.”

 

“Here,” he said as he positioned his arms around the statue, making a ridiculous face. “Now come here.”

 

Cas got closer to Dean and made a grabby hand for the rollerblades before he took the photo of them. “Awesome.” He showed it to Dean with a grin before he pointed to the exhibition. “Wanna go look at the art?”

 

“Squirrel!” Crowley barked, waving at Dean to come back to them. 

 

“Is that you?” Cas asked as he pulled Dean closer for a moment with a smirk. “Are you a cute squirrel and you never told me?”

 

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. “Goddamn him. There’s a whole story behind that, but I should go see what his majesty wants. I’ll be right back.” Dean tapped Cas’s phone and said, “Send those to me.”

 

“Sure and I hope you’ll tell me that story later, over a beer?” He winked at him before he let go  so Dean could go to his friends.

 

Dean winked back and made his way back to Crowley and Bobby, who drew him aside and were clearly asking him questions. 

 

Cas turned around and walked in the direction of the pictures, texting the ones he had taken so far to Dean. When he looked up he was standing in front of a pop art print of the Avengers that he had already noticed from afar. He wondered if he should buy it for Sammy’s birthday. He loved that particular art style.

 

And then he heard Bobby’s voice, “You should really ask him out, Dean.”

 

“Bobby, seriously. Drop it.”

 

Cas didn’t want to overhear their conversation, but now that he already accidentally eavesdropped, he couldn’t stop listening. “Dean, you know you're like a son to me and I worry. I haven't see you smile like that in a hot minute and you obviously like each other.”

 

“Yeah, Squirrel. Last time you looked at someone like that was when you were with –”

 

“Stop,” Dean hissed. “Please. Not tonight. Not here.”

 

Cas could practically feel Dean’s distress so he turned away from the picture to round the flower pots and find Dean, effectively interrupting their conversation. “Dean, I need your opinion on a picture.” He didn’t care if he was rude. He just didn’t want Dean to be bothered.

 

Dean gave him an imperceptibly grateful smile. “Excuse me,” he said to Bobby and Crowley as he made his way to Cas. He looked at Cas with a curious expression. “Which picture?”

 

Cas pulled him over to the pop art print of the Avengers. “This one. I'm thinking of buying it for my brother’s birthday. What do you think?”

 

“This is really cool, and if he likes the Avengers, I’d say go for it.” 

 

"The Avengers are his favorite," he replied before he gave Dean a searching look. "Is Bobby the one selling them?"

 

Dean shook his head. “No, Bobby does sculpture art.” He looked down at the artist card. “Says the artist is Meg Masters.” Dean looked around. “No idea who she is.”

 

"Well, I bet someone at the bar knows who she is. I could get us a drink if you want and you could secure us a table, what do you say?" 

 

Dean smiled and grabbed Cas by the wrist, pulling him close. He leaned in and whispered, “Thanks for rescuing me, Superman.”

 

Cas froze for a second. He didn’t know Dean had noticed and he hadn’t planned on telling him. So he just gave him a quick smile and a wink. “Anytime.”

 

Without missing a beat, he pressed a kiss just below Cas’s ear before he made his way over to the tables.

 

Damn, Dean wasn’t making it easy to not fall in love with him. His gaze followed him for a moment before he turned and went over to the bar, ordering two beers for them while he asked if he knew the artist. The bartender pointed to a young woman with black hair, sitting alone at a table.  

 

“Hi,” he greeted her as he walked over. “Are you Meg Masters?”

 

She quirked her brow at him and nodded. “And you are?”

 

He held out his hand with the most charming smile he possessed. “Cas Novak. You created this awesome Avengers picture, right?”

 

“I did,” she said with a smirk, she didn’t take his hand though. 

 

Cas retracted his hand and gave her another smile. “I’d be interested in buying it.”

 

Meg nodded. “I take cash and checks, not credit cards.”

 

“I saw an ATM at the entrance, um… so how do we do this?” He scratched the back of his neck. “I’ve never bought art before.”

 

She scoffed and shook her head. “Unbelievable. You get I’m disabled, right? And my disability isn’t being blind. Don’t buy my shit ‘cause you want to hit on me.”

 

Cas sat down at her table and gave her an apologetic look. “I'm not hitting on you. My brother's birthday is in a month. He’s paraplegic and actually a comic artist too. He works for Dark Horse Comics and he really loves pop art and the Avengers. So, although you’re kind of a thorny beauty, I'm not hitting on you, because I'm interested in...” He pointed to the balcony at the table Dean was waiting for him. “That guy over there.”

 

Meg followed the line of sight to where Dean was and chuckled. She turned back to Cas and said, “I like you, Cas Novak. Buy me a drink and that’s yours for twenty bucks.”

 

“The price tag says a hundred and twenty-five?” he asked in confusion. 

 

She shrugged and leaned forward. “It’s about fifty bucks worth of work, because I draw them so often. I mark that shit up, ‘cause people just  _ love _ buying art off of the handicapped. It makes them feel like they’ve done something good. Like buying a piece of art from someone who can’t hold her hand steady for more than two minutes thanks to MS puts them on the same level as Ghandi or Mother Theresa. It’s bullshit and they deserve to pay. But…” Meg paused as she raked her gaze over him. “You don’t. So, buy me a drink and give me your number so I can ask if your brother liked it, and the painting’s yours for twenty bucks.”

 

“Alright, you got yourself deal, Meg Masters.” He leaned forward before he added, “And I get it. People always see the illness or disability first, they stop seeing the human behind it. All they see is the struggle, but not how strong the person really is. Because you’re living and working with this shit. One day in your shoes for a healthy person and they would break down. So I’m not treating you differently than any other person because I don’t perceive you as weak, more like the opposite, Meg.”

 

“Stop,” she chastised with an amused chuckle as she braced her hand on his shoulder, “don’t make me fall in love with you. Now if you can talk the bartender into making me the dirtiest martini, we can get down to business.”

 

Cas winked at her before he went over to the bar and ordered a martini. When he turned around he noticed that the beer he ordered earlier was already at Dean’s table. He waved at Dean to bring it over before the bartender handed him the martini. 

 

Dean approached, curious smile on his face. “Thought you wanted me to grab a table?”

 

He nodded as he carefully carried the martini in Meg’s direction. “Yeah, but I want you to meet someone.” 

 

Cas put the martini on the table in front of Meg with a smile when they both got back to her and introduced Dean. “Meg, this is Dean, the handsome guy that brought me here. Dean, this is Meg, she made that awesome Avengers print.”

 

Dean smiled and extended his hand out to her. “Nice to meet you.”

 

“My, you are tall, dark, and handsome.” Meg sipped her martini and gently tapped his hand away.

 

He cleared his throat in a nervous chuckle. “Uh, well, your art is awesome.”

 

Meg snorted and said, “Awesome, huh?” She gave Cas a pointed look. “Your friend here’s gonna give me his number, let me know the reception. I have to say, I’m looking forward to it,” she purred as she winked at Cas.

 

Dean’s smile faltered for a millisecond, his expression momentarily bereft, before he schooled his features and took a sip of his beer. “That’s awesome,” he breathed out with half the enthusiasm as before.

 

Cas exchanged a quick look between both of them before he gave Meg a playful smirk. "Who’s flirting with who now, you little minx?" He shook his head and wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the back of his neck. 

 

“What can I say? You grew on me. Buying me a drink helps.”

 

Dean chuckled, but it almost sounded forced as he took a swig of his beer.

 

He wondered if Dean was a little jealous. Cas tried not to get his hopes up, but it almost felt that way. 

 

"Hey, if you already like me, you will probably love my brother. I mentioned he works for Dark Horse Comics, right? And yes, I'm the kind of brother who uses every opportunity to brag about him."

 

Meg pursed her lips, clearly impressed. And then realization dawned on her face, for a brief moment her cool mask slipped and she asked, “Is your brother Sam Novak?”

 

"Yep." Cas grinned proudly. He had been pretty sure this would happen at some point. 

 

“I instantly retract my demand to not hit on me. Please, please, hit on me,” she said with a smirk, leaning in close to Cas for a moment.

 

Cas chuckled. "I never thought Sammy being famous would get me lucky with the ladies. But seriously, I could introduce the two of you, what do you say? Then you can hear first hand how he likes your picture."

 

“Then the picture’s yours, no charge,” she said, expression entirely serious.

 

"No, no, I'm gonna pay you for your work. No discussion." He grabbed his wallet and handed Meg fifty bucks. “Don’t argue, it’s time and material that went into it. My brother would slap me into next next tuesday for anything less.”

 

Meg took the money and stuffed it into her bra. “If I didn’t have my eyes on a delicious Marc Jacobs purse, I wouldn’t let a boy try to push me around.”

 

Dean cleared his throat and said, “I’m, uh… gonna grab another one.” He waved his empty beer bottle. “You need another, Cas?”

 

"Yeah, thank you." Cas grabbed Dean's wrist for a moment to rub his finger over it before he let him go into the direction of the bar. He turned to Meg and gave her his phone. "Put your number in there and I’ll call you about the picture and everything else." His gaze followed Dean and he felt worried. Dean didn't look okay and he wondered if he should make this short and take him home. 

 

Meg chuckled and handed his phone back to him. “Jealousy. Ain’t it magical?”

 

Cas gave her a quick smile and pocketed his phone. “I guess I better go back to him.”

 

“You get he wouldn’t have reacted like that if he wasn’t into you, right?” she challenged as she toyed with the olive before sucking it between her lips.

 

"I'm trying to not get my hopes up, but yeah... It's kind of nice to see that he gets jealous," he admitted quietly.

 

Meg smirked and leaned in close, her lips grazing his earlobe as she whispered, “Then you’re welcome for this. Now go get ‘im, tiger.”

 

"Thank you." He grinned at her as he stood up. "When’s a good time for me to pick up the picture?"

 

“Text me and I’ll let you know. Wanna keep it on display for tonight.”

 

"Alright." He winked at her. "Have a nice rest of the day, Meg."

 

She waggled her eyebrows and lifted her martini glass in salute. “I look forward to hearing from you.”

 

He chuckled and nodded before he turned around and walked over to Dean, who was still at the bar with his back towards him, nursing his beer. Cas wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. "Our table on the patio is still free. Sorry it took so long." 

 

Dean smiled as he looked at him, even though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Didn’t want to intrude.”

 

Cas turned him around and touched his face. "You wouldn't have. Wanna sit out there in the sun with me?"

 

“Cas,” Dean breathed out as he cupped Cas’s face, swiping the pad of his thumb along his jawline. “What are we doing here?”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow, his heart jumping painfully in his chest. “It feels like a date,” he admitted breathlessly.

 

Dean nodded. “It does.”

 

Cas licked over his suddenly too dry lips. "I know that, um, wasn't our intention, but... would you like this to be a date?"

 

After a beat of torturous silence, Dean sighed and looked away. “I would, but… shit, Cas. I shouldn’t.”

 

Cas cupped Dean's face, making him look back at him. "If this doesn't feel right for you, then we’ll continue this as just a normal day, with two friends hanging out and enjoying the sun, okay?"

 

The shaky exhale that came out of him was part broken laugh. “I wish it didn’t scare me.”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile, his fingertips sliding into Dean's hair. "It just means you're not ready, Dean. And it's okay." He stepped a little closer. "I know this thing between us is tempting. You're not the only one feeling it. But it isn't worth you hurting over it because you rushed into something too soon."

 

And although it hurt, Cas knew he wasn't worth taking such a risk. He had so many issues of his own, Dean would be better off waiting until he found someone who could give Dean more stability in his life, more reassurance.

 

“Too soon,” he repeated with an incredulous scoff. “What a concept.”

 

"Well, it's a relative term. The most important thing is what you feel, Dean. Not other people." His fingers ran down Dean's arm and he intertwined their hands before he pulled him over to the table in the sun. 

 

Dean sighed and shook his head. “What I feel doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.”

 

They sat down across from each other, but Cas kept holding his hand over the table. "You feel torn, I guess?"

 

“One way of putting it. I just…” he flipped their hands and he gently started tapping his fingers up and down Cas’s palm. “You’re fucking with my contentment to never… you know… again.”

 

"I'm sorry?" Cas replied, but he couldn't stop the grin. "If it makes you feel better, you are overthrowing every rule I had about relationships too."

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “This would be easier if you were ugly.”

 

"This would also be easier if you were hideous. Can't you just stop being so incredibly handsome?" Cas chuckled. "So annoying."

 

Dean crossed his eyes and pulled a pretty hideous face. “Better?”

 

"It's still kind of cute. Damn it." Cas put his palm over Dean's face and rubbed over it. "Make it go away."

 

Dean then pouted and batted his eyelashes, pulling an almost flawless puppy dog look. “How’s this?”

 

"I give up." Cas chuckled and threw his hands in the air. "You're incapable of looking anything but flawless. I'm sorry to tell you this, but it's the harsh truth." 

 

And to make it worse, Dean ducked his gaze, chuckling lightly as a small smile curled his lips. He let out a soft exhale as he held Cas’s hand in both of his. Dean kept his focus on their hands. “Meg’s cute.” 

 

Cas couldn't keep the smile from his lips. Dean really was jealous of her. "Yeah, she is. But not as cute as you."

 

“If you want to go talk to her a little longer, I’d understand.”

 

Cas raised an eyebrow before he dipped his head to catch Dean's gaze. "I know you would, Dean. But I'm not interested in her. I want to spend my time with you. And only you."

 

Dean chuckled and leaned back, letting Cas’s hand go to grab his beer. “So, want an explanation for the Squirrel nickname?”

 

“Hell yes.” Cas took a sip from his beer, hoping Dean didn’t feel jealous of Meg anymore.

 

“Alright, so, uh… Bobby started seeing Ferg when Sammy and me were kids, teenagers, but yeah. Anyway, we hated him. One of the stupid code names we came up to refer to him as was Boris. As in Boris and Natasha from the  _ Rocky and Bullwinkle  _ cartoons.”

 

"Oh, so you’re Rocky the Flying Squirrel?" Cas asked with a grin.

 

Dean laughed and nodded. “Yeah, he found out we referred to him as Boris, so he started referring to me as Squirrel and Sammy as Moose. He kinda grew on us after that.”

 

Cas nodded and squinted his eyes at the sun, scrunching up his nose. "So, Bobby... he’s like a father to you? Sorry I overheard that conversation. That wasn’t my intention."

 

“Yeah, our Dad, uh… he got locked up for a few years, too many DUI’s. Bobby was there for us and my Mom.” Dean smiled fondly. “I love my Dad, he’s made mistakes, but he’ll always be my Dad. But Bobby… He’s something different. A good different. He’s the first person I came out to.”

 

Cas nodded with a soft smile. "I guess he took it well."

 

“He did, but he had no qualms about humiliating the fuck outta me by asking if I was sexually active and lecturing me on safe sex.”

 

Cas grimaced in shared pain. "Ugh, that's always uncomfortable when it comes from family members."

 

Dean chuckled and gently smacked Cas’s chest. “Speaking of which, are you famous or something? Am I in the presence of nerd royalty?”

 

Cas shook his head. "No, not really. My brother though. He made a name for himself as a comic artist. He sometimes goes to conventions and signs stuff."

 

Dean pursed his lips. “I wonder if my brother knows who he is…” 

 

“If he is super into comics, he might,” Cas replied before he took another sip of his beer.

 

“He might be. All that nerd stuff is the same, right?” he teased as he finished his beer.

 

Cas gave him a pointed look, he also wasn't above sticking out his tongue. "No, it's not." He finished his beer before he asked, “So what's your brother into? Comics, books, gaming, maybe even cosplay?" 

 

Dean snorted. “The fuck is cosplay?”

 

Cas leaned back in his chair with a smile. "Seriously? You never saw people dress up as comic characters, or whatever, before?"

 

“Didn’t know it had a name, other than, ‘lives at home with Mom and has never felt the touch of a woman’.”

 

Cas shook his head. "Dean, Dean, Dean. I think I have to show you a few photos of hot girls dressing up as anime characters and you will see how damn wrong you are about that."

 

Dean shook his head. “Gay, remember?”

 

"Even if you're gay, you can still see if a girl looks great or not. Even if you don't want to bone her."

 

“Have you learned nothing, Castiel?” Dean leaned forward, gently grasping his chin as he licked over his own lips as he stared at Cas’s. “Sex sells.”

 

"I know," Cas replied with a smile. "And I definitely have a weakness for that kind of selling strategy." Damn, he wanted to kiss Dean so badly.

 

Dean winked at him as he let go of his chin and sat down again. “Good.”

 

"The worst part about this not being a date is that I can't kiss you at the end," he murmured, looking at his empty beer with a sigh before he shook his head.

 

“Just pretend I’m a bad kisser?” he suggested.

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, I'm not very good at lying to myself.”

 

Dean smirked. “You never know. I could be awful.”

 

“I don’t believe that for a second, Dean.”

 

That was met with a soft chuckle. Dean toyed with the label on his beer. “Just tryin’ to make it easier on both of us.”

 

“I think we're passed that point,” Cas pointed out before he gave Dean a little smile. “Maybe we'll be lucky and it's just a phase. Maybe we’re just interested ‘cause it's new and forbidden.” He shrugged hoping that would make Dean feel better, even though he didn’t believe it.

 

“It’s only forbidden because we’re making it forbidden. But maybe you’re right.” Dean gave him a half hearted smile as he shrugged. “So, you think you’ll stick around Seattle a little longer now that you’ve seen some of the sights?”

 

Cas gave Dean a long look before he nodded. “Yeah, I'd like too. As long as possible.” He gave Dean a reassuring smile. “For the first time, I have a few good reasons to stay.”

 

The smile he received in response was breathtaking. “Good.”

 

“So what did you mean by, ‘we’re making it forbidden’?” He asked curiously. “You sounded like you think it's a choice.”

 

“It is, right? We’re choosing to listen to the alarm bells, instead of just… not,” he said with another shrug.

 

“Yeah, but it's the circumstances that force us, that caused the decision. Not because we wanted to.” He fiddled with his own bottle’s label. “That’s what makes it so hard. Despite everything, I still want you.”

 

Dean sighed and leaned back. “You’re not alone in that, but the guilt I feel just from sleeping with a rando… what we have? I don’t even know the level of guilt that has the potential to bring on.”

 

Cas hadn’t really brought their flirting and this information into context before. Now that he thought about it, he felt bad about his behavior towards Dean. He wasn’t better than Dean’s friends that were pressuring him into something new. Apparently he was just thinking with his dick again.

 

“You’re right. I'm sorry.” He looked at the table surface. “I promise I won't make this more difficult for us in the future.”

 

Dean reached out and grasped his hand. “Look, I’m just as guilty for all the flirting. I don’t want you feeling bad about it. Hell, I like it. So… I don’t know.”

 

Cas retracted his hand from Dean. He couldn’t do this anymore. “We’re not doing each other any favors if we continue flirting like we have been. How would I know I'm not making you uncomfortable, because I did something you liked, but then you felt guilty about? I don’t want to be the guy…” He shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“Alright,” he said as he sank, rather dejectedly, back in his seat. “You make a fair point, but how I feel and how I react isn’t on you. I hope you know that.”

 

“It is when I ignore your boundaries. You said we can't be more than friends. And I should just accept that, instead of teasing you all the time just because I know that you like me.” He gave Dean a serious look. “But I promise I’ll behave now. Just friends from here on out.”

 

It would be hard. Very hard. But for Dean he could do it.

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Is it fucked up that I’m gonna miss the teasing?”

 

Cas gave him a quick smile before he shook his head. “Me too. This will be very hard for me.”

 

“Should we place bets on how long you’ll last?”

 

“We can, but I'm very stubborn, Dean and…” He looked up at Dean in earnest. “And I'm not risking our friendship over this.”

 

Dean smiled and shrugged noncommittally. “I know it’s fast and kind of crazy, but I don’t think it’s possible, because you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had. And I won’t give up on that.”

 

Hearing that filled his heart with so much joy that it was hard not to smile brightly at Dean. He never had a best friend before. It just strengthened his resolve to keep himself together for Dean. “One more reason that I should stop thinking with my dick… and I feel the same, Dean.”

 

The way Dean’s smile turned almost shy was endearing as hell. “I’m glad.”

 

Cas leaned back with a sigh before he asked, "So, my friend, what should we do with the rest of the day?"

 

“Get dinner to go and watch Dr. Sexy with a slobber dragon?” he suggested with a smile. 

 

Cas nodded with a half smile. He would miss getting cozy with Dean on the couch. "That sounds like an awesome plan."

 

Dean nodded. “Perfect. Then do you want to pick up food from here, or can I push my favorite Indian place on you?”

 

"You know what? I’ve never had Indian food before, so I would like to try that," Cas admitted.

 

He feigned a gasp. “Seriously? How?”

 

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "One of my big brothers has a severe food allergy to peanuts and shellfish. So we never had any exotic foods at home. I guess I was just used to Italian from then on."

 

Dean nodded. “Understandable then. Well, do you have any food allergies?”

 

"No, luckily I don't. I can eat anything. Not very fond of pineapples though," he told Dean, noticing how easy it was to share things about himself with Dean. He still wasn't used to sharing information about himself, but he didn't mind with Dean. It was easy and he trusted him. “If you’re finished, we can go if you want?”

 

Dean smiled. “Yeah, let’s just say bye to Bobby and Fergie and we can head out?”

 

Cas nodded and helped Dean up before he awkwardly patted his shoulder. He needed to be more conscious about the amount of touching. "Sure."

 

He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. “Come on, Cas. Are we gonna have awkward body contact now? Friends can touch each other.”

 

"But hand holding?" Cas asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't want to give your friends more ammunition to pressure you."

 

Dean scoffed. “They’re gonna pressure me whether or not we’re close to each other. All my friends and family have been trying to get me to get out there again. Like somehow dating someone is gonna…” He stopped himself and shook his head. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. But if you want to get cuddly, or hold my hand, I won’t assume it means anything more than sharing affection with friends. I mean… why can’t male friends do that without it having to mean something?”

 

"They can, Dean. I know a few perfect examples of men sharing affection and they are just friends." He stepped closer and gave Dean a serious look. "But that isn’t the case with me. If you assume I’m just doing this to seek affection from a friend, then you’re wrong. I’m not gonna lie about it, telling you that it wouldn’t mean something to me.”

 

Dean sighed and nodded. “I get that. I guess I’m trying to justify it in my head.”

 

"If it's any consolation," he replied after a moment, "I will miss the intimacy between us a lot. But you know that isn't a road we should go down if it doesn't lead anywhere."

 

“I know,” he breathed out as he shrugged. “I know.”

 

He hated seeing Dean defeated and almost sad like that. Cas just wanted to make him happy. "Hey." He nudged Dean's shoulder playfully. "We can do this."

 

Dean let out a soft laugh. “I know we can. I just…” He sighed and shook his head, forcing a smile. “We can do this.”

 

"That's the spirit," Cas replied with a half smile. Of course he felt disappointed. Exactly like Dean appeared to be, but what else could he do? Better to rip off the bandaid quickly before it really started to hurt.  

 

They walked side by side in the direction of Bobby and Crowley, the back of his hand grazing Dean's from time to time. It took everything in him to not reach out and touch Dean's hand, letting his fingers wander over his palm.

 

He hoped those urges would stop at some point. 

 

Bobby nodded at them. "Hey, boys. Did you have a nice time?"

 

Dean smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Cas bought a piece from Meg Masters.”

 

Crowley groaned and rolled his eyes. “Was she actually nice to you?”

 

"Not at first," Cas replied before he smirked. "But in the end I got the impression she wants to marry into the family."

 

Crowley made a face like he seemed impressed. “Does she know she’s up against Squirrel?”

 

Bobby elbowed him in the stomach and gave him a pointed look. Dean just laughed and shook his head. “We’re gonna head out, gimme some love,” Dean said as he held his arms open for Crowley to give him a hug before he leaned down and hugged Bobby. “Oh, and when you get a chance, I want to talk to you about suggestions and supplies for a fort.”

 

"A fort?" Bobby asked, but Cas was only half listening. When he had talked to Meg he was still hoping that maybe this thing with Dean would go somewhere. Not that Dean had ever given him a reason to think that, but the flirting and touching...  _ Damn. _

 

Dean nodded and looped his arm over Cas’s shoulder. “Yeah. We built a fort out of his packed boxes, but alas, he had to unpack.”

 

Cas gave Dean a quick smile before he nodded. "And now the boxes on the bottom are too light and make the whole construction unstable."

 

Crowley chuckled and shook his head. “You found someone as childish as you, Squirrel.”

 

"You’re just envious of our fort," Cas stated with a smirk.

 

Bobby chuckled before he answered, "What about books you don't read? You could just put them back in the boxes?"

 

"Wouldn't that be packing up again?" Cas asked with a head tilt.

 

“Besides, we want it to be a little more sturdy,” Dean added.

 

"Do we want to know what you are going to use the fort for?" Crowley replied with an eyebrow waggle. 

 

Dean quirked his brow. “Be nice, Boris, or I’ll have Sammy file yours and Bobby’s divorce papers behind your backs.”

 

Bobby slapped Dean's arm and shook his head. "Well, you could always go to a hardware store and get cheap but heavy materials to fill the boxes with. Or you use a rope and tie them all together."

 

“We can talk about this later,” Dean said as he patted Bobby’s shoulder. “If you’re up for company, maybe I can stop by for dinner later this week?”

 

Crowley quirked his brow. “Don’t promise something if you can’t make it. The amount of times I’ve had to comfort this soppy old thing because you got stuck at work…”

 

Dean rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to Crowley’s cheek and then Bobby’s. “I promise. I’ll be there.”

 

Cas shook both of the men's hands as they said their goodbyes and followed Dean outside of the gallery. "You’ve got a nice family there."

 

“Yeah, I think I’ll keep ‘em,” he quipped.

 

"They still thought we were on a date," Cas stated as they reached the car. "I hope they won't grill you too hard about today the next time you see them."

 

Dean shrugged and chuckled. “They will, but it’s okay, I’ll tell ‘em you’re with your boyfriend and they’ll probably shut up.”

 

"So the fake boyfriend story helps in more ways than one. Nice." His thoughts strayed to Inias then and their meeting tomorrow. Maybe having a real boyfriend would help him get over his stupid crush on Dean. He wondered if he should ask Inias for a date. He could buy hard cider and try to get to know him.

 

“Well, I might as well reap some sort of benefit from a fake relationship too.” He winked as they reached Dean’s car. He opened the passenger door and held it open for Cas. 

 

"Always the gentleman." Cas chuckled as he thanked him and got into the car. When Dean slipped behind the wheel, he gave him a smirk. "Also I'm happy to be of service to provide fake relationships."

 

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve been a fake boyfriend for so many people, I’m about due for some karmic retribution.”

 

"How did that even happen?" Cas asked after a moment. "You were even Inias's fake boyfriend without even knowing his name." He shook his head when he remembered his thoughts about Dean in the beginning. "Inias saw you as a knight in shining armor and I thought you were an asshole with a hero complex because you didn't even bother to learn his name." 

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “I’ll let you in on a secret, I’m terrible with names. But I promise, it’s not a hero complex. Just accidental really. If I so happen to be somewhere and a skeezy creeper isn’t taking no for an answer, I act like that person’s boyfriend and run them off.”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow at him. "Did you ever get in trouble for that?"

 

“There’s been a couple times where I misread the situation, but it’s never upset anyone, yet.”

 

That made sense. Afterall Dean always had good intentions. "Well, let me tell you that you made some very deep impressions on all the employees of Heavenly Coffee."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Oh, I know. I’m wondering when one of the girls will finally ask me out.”

 

"Well, they’ll be in for a massive disappointment," Cas replied with a soft smile. Like everyone who was interested in Dean, really. "Maybe I should start a club where we can lust after you and trade Dean Winchester fanart."

 

“Oh, sweet Jesus, please don’t. My brother would never let me hear the end of it.”

 

Cas stroked over his chin, ignoring Dean with a dreamy smile. "Maybe I should write fanfiction. Something romantic like we meet and start out as enemies before we fall in love and start a threesome relationship with pie before you get pregnant with our little pie slash robot kids."

 

Dean quirked his brow and tapped Cas’s nose. “No.”

 

"No to the pie-robot-kids?" Cas's eyes widened and he shook his head. "You have no heart. Who says no to that?"

 

Dean shrugged. “What can I say? I’m an asshole. The rumors at work are true.”

 

"Okay." He crossed his arms over his chest. "What would your story entail? If there aren't any pie or robot kids."

 

“Super powers and sex scenes, come on,” he said as he turned onto the highway. 

 

Cas tsked and shook his head. "Mine had a kinky threesome sex scene."

 

“With food, sticky and fat-filled food. If your threesome included Ryan Reynolds in his Deadpool costume, then we’d be talking,” he argued.

 

"No, no, no. Ryan Reynolds is the only man on the planet I wouldn't share in a threesome."

 

Dean pouted and gave him a puppy dog look. “Not even with me?”

 

"Especially not with you. What if Ryan Reynolds decided to steal you away? I wouldn't stand a chance. So no. No Ryan for you."

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I’d never pick him over you.”

 

"You say that now. But then you’d see Ryan naked, waggling his eyebrows at you and it would all be over." Cas nodded with a theatrical sigh. “I would vanish from your mind like ice cream in the sun.”

 

“Man, it must be fun in your brain sometimes.”

 

"It never gets boring," Cas replied with a shrug.

 

Dean chuckled and patted his knee. “It’s one of the things I like about you.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Cas smirked at him, feeling guilty that he wished for Dean’s hand to stay on his knee. “What else do you like?” He sounded way too flirty again, but it was so hard not to flirt with Dean.

 

“Well, I like that you take no shit from assholes at work, myself included,” he said with a chuckle, “But then you’re patient enough to try and teach a hopeless coworker how to not fuck up his computer… although now I wonder how patient you’d be if you didn’t think I was hot…”

 

Cas held up a finger. "That I can answer for you. It actually has nothing to do with you being extremely and irresistibly hot. At my last workplace I had two guys from marketing who had your level of expertise and they weren’t hot at all. Over time you try to find your zen place in my kind of work.” He turned to look at Dean. “But the fact that you’re very nice to look at certainly made things easier.”

 

Dean smirked and nodded. “I like that you’re honest to a fault, and it just makes talking to you easier. You know you’re the fourth person at work who knows I’m an almost widower?”

 

Cas hadn't expected that. He thought probably everyone knew Dean's backstory. "Oh." It was weird that he felt special to know that Dean had trusted him with this knowledge. He gave Dean a soft smile. "Do you know you're the second person I told about Sammy?"

 

The smile he got in response was beautiful. “Well, I feel honored.”

 

"First one I told was my girlfriend all those years ago, so she would understand that I couldn't fly with her to that super expensive hotel in Paris because I needed to pay bills for my brother's treatments." He rubbed his hand over his lips before he sighed. He hated thinking about her. "Yeah, after that I never told anyone again... until you."

 

Dean looked over at him for a moment, his expression unreadable before he turned back to the road. “Well, fuck that bitch. I think you’re amazing helping your brother like that. Not everyone would step up.”

 

Cas gave him a pained look. "Yeah, I don’t see it that way. Without me, my brother wouldn't be in this situation. I'm responsible. I made a mistake and I can never undo it, but I, at least, can try to make Sammy's life as easy as possible."

 

“And you forget I know that about your history. While you will see it the way you see it, I don’t. I see a man who made a mistake and, yes, a terrible mistake, but it was an accident. You would never intentionally hurt your brother and I don’t believe for even a minute that you wouldn’t love your brother the way you do if the accident hadn’t happened.” Dean gripped Cas’s knee and gave him a sympathetic smile. “I respect the hell out of that, Cas. And you’re not gonna convince me otherwise.”

 

Cas had to turn away from Dean and look out of the window. His throat was hurting and his eyes were burning as he took a few calming breaths to keep it together. He cleared his throat, trying to concentrate on the feeling of Dean's hand on his knee. For the first time it didn't feel sexual, just grounding. "Thank you... You know..."

 

Suddenly the car started slowing down as Dean pulled over. He heard the click of Dean’s seatbelt being unbuckled after he had come to a full stop and as Cas turned to look at Dean in question, he pulled Cas in for a hug. “I know,” he whispered.

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him without thinking, pulling him tight as he pressed his face against Dean's throat for a moment. It was too much. He hated when his guilt and his emotions were taking over. So he pushed back with a half smirk. "You just can't keep your fingers off me, can you?"

 

Dean cupped his cheek, his lip trembled slightly as he let out a mirthless chuckle. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you.”

 

Cas covered Dean's hand with his own, shaking his head lightly. "I'm sorry. I just don't deal well with this whole emotional shit. Just ask my brother Gabriel. He more or less rented my first apartment a few states away from home, so I wouldn't be close to Sammy."

 

“Shit, Cas,” he breathed out, shaking his head. “I can’t imagine how much that fucked with you.”

 

Cas shook his head. "No, he was right. I see that now." He rubbed his hand over his face before he continued talking, not meeting Dean's eyes. "I had severe depression after the accident... and I just continued being a burden to the rest of the family. Tried to off myself a few times... got so drunk that I destroyed a police car and ended up in jail for the night. My brother Gabriel paying for the damage... He was right to send me away."

 

Dean’s lip trembled as a single tear slipped down his face. He shook his head. “Cas, no. No. Hiding and ignoring a family member who needs your help the most? If your brother was half the man you are, he would have been there for you, too. No picking and choosing. And I am so fucking sorry you went through all of that alone.”

 

Cas looked up and wiped away Dean's tear. "My brother did everything he could to hold this family together, Dean. He never gave up on me. He gave me the ass kicking I needed to be responsible and own up to my mistakes. Seeing Sammy all the time... it reminded me that it was all my fault and I couldn't deal with it. I got better when I was away, working."

 

“Still…” Dean sighed and shook his head. “But I guess, in the end, you’re this awesome guy who’s really helped me through a shitty time, whether you meant to or not… And I’m grateful for whatever brought you to Seattle.” Dean gave him a sad, but meaningful smile. 

 

Cas pulled him close again. “Hey, if I can do anything to make you feel better, I’m gonna do it. Just say the word.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Dean’s head. “You’re the first person I’ve trusted in a long time, you helped me consider having a life again, finding a place where I could belong. Maybe even try a real romantic relationship again.” He leaned back to look at Dean, cupping his cheek with a soft smile. “It’s crazy… we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, but… you have no idea how important you are to me already. I’m lucky to have you as a friend.” 

 

Dean smiled and shook his head. “I like crazy.”

 

"I've noticed," Cas replied with a chuckle, letting his hand fall from Dean's cheek down to his shoulder with a sigh. 

 

With a soft nod, Dean drew back and buckled his seatbelt again. “Let’s get dinner.”

 

"Yeah," Cas breathed out, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "You need to recommend something to me if we eat Indian."

 

“Well, what level of spicy can you handle?”

 

"I wouldn't have a problem eating wasabi as a spread." Cas had to laugh when he remembered his and Gabriel's wasabi contest as kids. They had done a lot of dumb shit when they were younger.

 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up in impressed surprise. “Then we’re gonna get a few dishes and share family style.”

 

"Sharing is caring." Cas chuckled before he asked, "So you already have food in mind you want me to try?"

 

“We’re getting some onion bhajis and samosas for appetizers, maybe some papadoms. Couple of different biryanis, butter chicken or a korma, because it’s the best to try as a newbie, and vindaloo, which is the blow your brains out heavy champ dish. At least for people who have never tried it.” 

 

"I have no idea what half of those things are, but I'm hungry now." His stomach growled with his words.

 

Dean chuckled and smiled. “Me too. And we’ll soak it all up with some naan. Man, I haven’t had Indian in a while.”

 

"Why is that? You seem to love it."

 

“It’s not fun to eat alone and Baby would end up shitting everywhere if I shared with her,” he said with a chuckle as he got back on the highway.

 

"So you usually just spend your time alone with her? You're not going out with Benny or other friends?" Cas asked in surprise.

 

Dean shrugged. “Once in a while. Your first day I ended up in a strip club with Benny and a few others at work. But sometimes I’m a loner. Prefer the sanctity of the Dean Cave.”

 

"Yeah, I get that. My favorite weekends are weekends spent in my bed."

 

“I bet,” he said with a laugh and eyebrow waggle.

 

Cas rolled his eyes. "I don't mean because of sex. Not that that wouldn't be nice too, but I mean just being lazy, you know?"

 

Dean nodded. “I get that. Some of my favorite memories with Aaron were when we literally spent the day in bed, eating cold pizza, binge watching whatever, with Baby cuddled between us.” He sighed fondly as he looked out at the road.

 

Cas gave Dean a long look. His chest ached when he listened to Dean talking about Aaron. He could see how much Dean had loved the man. "Sounds pretty perfect to me," he breathed out. He wondered if he would ever have that. Someone who loved him as he was and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He had a hard time imagining it, but he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn't want that.

 

“It was. It really was. Baby stayed at the front door waiting for him to come home those first couple of months.” He shook his head and took a deep breath. “I almost joined her a few nights.”

 

"Fuck," he cursed and shook his head. He had no idea why that got to him so much. "I'm really sorry, Dean."

 

“Sorry for dragging down the mood,” he said with a shrug. “You’re probably sick of hearing shit like that.”

 

Cas shook his head. "No, it's okay. If you feel like talking about him then you should. He was an important part of your life. And I want to get to know you."

 

Dean reached out his hand towards Cas’s own before he seemed to think better of it and draw it back to the steering wheel. “I never talk about it, but for some reason, with you, I just can’t stop myself.”

 

Fuck, he wished that there wasn't this wall between them now. That they could still touch each other. He knew it was the right thing to stop being physical with each other, but he hated not being able to touch Dean like before.

 

Cas gave Dean a quick smile as he nodded. "Yeah, I know. I feel the same when it comes to you."

 

Dean returned the smile. “And to think, as little as a few weeks ago you thought I was an asshole with a hero complex.”

 

"I'm glad you changed my mind," Cas replied with a chuckle.

 

“Don’t lie, it’s only ‘cause you want to bang me.” Dean winced and amended, “Sorry. Gotta work on that.”

 

Cas bit his lip and gave Dean a pained look. "You have no idea how much I wanted to reply with a flirty remark. Damn, this is so hard."

 

Dean chuckled. “I want to say fuck it, but I don’t want you getting fucked up over it too.”

 

Cas gave him a pointed look. "And what if we say, 'fuck it' and we end up flirting so much that we start to kiss..." He stopped himself, squinting his eyes at Dean. "Would you even let that happen?"

 

“I honestly don’t know.”

 

At least Dean was being honest. Cas sighed deeply before he shook his head. "I can't do this." He would only hurt himself in the end if he kept it up. Cas trusted Dean with his life story, with his issues and everything. With his heart though. Not so much. He knew Dean wouldn't trust him with his either. He wasn't ready or open to trying something new, so Cas didn't blame him for being tempted and giving mixed signals. Dean had never been unclear about his intentions. Or non-existent intentions. If Cas caught feelings, it would be his own fault. 

 

Dean gave him a hesitant look. “Can’t do what?”

 

"I can't continue flirting with you, no matter how tempting it is," he explained. "You're right, I would get fucked up over it."

 

Dean visibly relaxed and nodded. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

 

"It's not your fault."

 

“No, but I care about you and I hate that I want to be selfish.”

 

"How would that make you selfish? Don't you think continuing down this road would eventually fuck you up too?" Cas asked, pressing himself into the back of the seat.

 

Dean shrugged. “Well, that’s always a possibility, but it’s you I’m more concerned about.”

 

Cas frowned and looked out of the window for a moment. "Why?"

 

“Like I said, I care about you.”

 

"I'm not the one who would feel guilty if this between us evolved into more," Cas replied carefully.

 

Dean let out a mirthless laugh. “You scare me because… I’ve never come close to feeling normal since he died and you make me feel normal again.”

 

"I would rather make you feel like you’re going crazy," he countered without thinking. "Damn it." He chuckled before he shook his head and gave Dean a serious look. "Why is that scary? Shouldn't that be a good thing?"

 

“Last time I felt that way with someone, I buried him the week we were supposed to get married,” he breathed out.

 

Cas took in a deep shuddered breath and fiddled with his shirt again. "Okay..." He turned to look at Dean again. "So you're afraid because you think even if you could have that again, you would only lose it again?"

 

Dean let out a soft sigh. “Something like that.”

 

"In the end, it's your decision when you feel ready to take that risk again." Cas bit his lower lip before he looked away again. "But as long as you don't feel ready, neither you nor I will gain anything from excessive flirting. More like the opposite."

 

“I know,” he said, voice sad.

 

Cas carefully nudged his shoulder. "Don't be sad. My resolve has the consistency of butter in summer."

 

Dean chuckled. “Like I said, I’m being selfish.”

 

"Which could turn out to be a very bad combination, since I'm very selfish too." Cas rubbed the back of his neck. And it was hard to keep his fingers to himself.

 

“Well, if we end up caving and fucking on the kitchen floor, thankfully we’re too selfish to give up the friendship over it,” he joked. But it didn’t feel like a joke.

 

Cas's breathing hitched and he nodded. His throat feeling dry. "Yeah, I won't give up on you." His voice turned even more breathless. "No matter how often we end up caving in."

 

Dean chuckled. “We’re really bad at this.”

 

"Yep." Cas held his hand in front of his mouth and chuckled. "I feel like we're a drunk night away from a very hot mistake."

 

“If this were your stupid fanfiction, I’m pretty sure they’d call that foreshadowing.”

 

"Or one of your stupid drama shows." He “coughed” under his breath.

 

Dean quirked his brow. “Don’t judge me.”

 

“You started it.”

 

“And you’re trying to finish it.”

 

Cas chuckled. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

 

Dean shook his head. “It definitely isn’t.”

  
Cas smiled brightly at Dean and a moment later they were both laughing. It was nice how they always found their way back to the light banter. And Cas couldn’t help but notice how easy it seemed for Dean to make him feel happy and content.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

“So, first time having Indian food. What’s the verdict?” Dean asked as he came back from the kitchen with two beers, after putting the leftovers away in the fridge. He sank into the couch, their legs briefly touching as he handed him a beer.

 

Cas still felt like he was in a heavenly food coma, so he leaned against Dean and smiled contentedly before he answered, "It was awesome. I have so much food experience to catch up on. Damn, I never felt sorry for my brother Michael before for missing out on all that."

 

Dean chuckled. “I feel bad for all of you. So, have you ever had Ethiopian?”

 

Cas shook his head. "Nope, I don't think so."

 

“Oh, man. I’m gonna show you the friggin’ world, Jasmine.”

 

"On a magic carpet ride?" Cas asked, waggling his eyebrows.

 

_ “Tell me, Princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?”  _ He sang with a smirk. 

 

Dean had a really nice singing voice. Cas hoped his adoration wasn't too prominent on his face when he replied dryly, "Probably never, Aladdin, but the more important question is: where is your genie?"

 

Dean quirked his brow at him. “What? You prefer your men big and blue?”

 

"Ewww, no." Cas scrunched up his nose. "But a talking, floating, wish-fulfilling genie seems like a fun friend to have. What would you wish from the genie if you had three wishes?" He pointed at Dean and raised his eyebrows. “Unending wishes and unending genies don’t count.”

 

That was met with a soft laugh before he took a swig of his beer. “I guess… I’d wish for world peace and that everyone alive got to spend an hour every day cuddling a pile of puppies.” Dean winked at him. 

 

"Did you learn that speech when you were running for Mr. America?" Cas chuckled and took a sip from his beer.

 

Dean scoffed haughtily. “You, sir, are looking at Mr. Congeniality for 2014.”

 

“I actually wouldn’t be surprised. With those freckles and lips." Damn, he was flirting again.

 

“Well, I do have that sweet, southern charm,” he crooned in a pretty damn adorable southern accent.

 

"Do you have something stronger than beer in your kitchen?" he asked in a breathy voice.

 

Dean furrowed his brow, clearly thinking for a moment and his eyes lit up. “I think I found a bottle of whiskey the other night. Will that work?”

 

"I dearly hope so," Cas replied with a chuckle. 

 

Dean leaned forward and placed his beer on his coffee table. As he stood up with a soft groan, he smiled. “On the rocks? Jack and Coke? How can I satisfy you?”

 

Cas let his gaze wander over Dean's ass with a thoughtful hum. He knew what would satisfy him. "Naked... um, I meant, pure. Without anything."

 

“Naked, got it,” he said with a wink as he disappeared into the kitchen.

 

He was going to die. He was sure of it. "Oh, man," he murmured as he leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes for a moment. He really tried to think of something else, but it seemed almost impossible. His thoughts always wandered back to the gutter. 

 

He could hear Dean in the kitchen and immediately thought about what Dean had said earlier in the car. About them having sex on the kitchen floor.

 

His feet carried him over to the kitchen without him making a conscious decision about getting up from the couch. Dean was standing with his back to him and Cas wrapped his arms around his waist to pull him against his body, resting his chin on his shoulder. “I don’t know how to stop,” he admitted, “it’s really hard.”

 

Dean chuckled and wrapped his arms over Cas’s as he started swaying. “Gotta admit, it’s getting harder and harder to understand why we’re holding back.”

 

His heart was beating so fast it felt like it would leap out of his chest. "Yeah, I know. It seems so stupid when we both want this."

 

“I don’t know how much this could be self-sabotage though. And I don’t know if I want you to fall in that category for me,” he admitted quietly.

 

Cas leaned his forehead against the back of Dean's head. "Weirdly enough, I have the same problem. I haven’t let anyone close for such a long time and you kind of waltzed over all my walls, and I don't know what to think of that.”

 

Dean tightened his grip on Cas’s arms. “So what do we do?”

 

"I don't know," Cas whispered after a long moment of silence. 

 

After a soft sigh, Dean murmured, “Should we call it a night?” He didn’t loosen his grip.

 

Cas nudged his nose against Dean's neck. "Probably safer. I can't guarantee not trying to kiss you."

 

Dean nodded as he sighed again. “And if we kiss, it’s over.”

 

"We wouldn't stop at kissing."

 

“That’s putting it mildly.” Dean sighed again and yet he still hadn’t let go of Cas.

 

It felt like they were standing on the edge of an abyss and one final push would make them both fall. A fall that was taunting them with promises of pleasure and lust. Cas's lips ghosted over Dean's neck as he tried to make a decision. 

 

Dean was not letting go of him, giving something inside of him the signal to push this further, but his mind knew better. He knew that he shouldn’t and it felt like it was tearing him apart on the inside. “Please, tell me to go,” he murmured. 

 

Dean exhaled a shaky laugh. “I don’t know if I can.”

 

_ Fuck. _ He had no idea if he was strong enough to leave. He tried to remind himself that he had promised Dean. And he wanted to keep that promise. But it was so hard when Dean himself was the one who gave him so many green lights.

 

He tried to concentrate on the red lights. The doubt Dean still had. The fact that he feared they could lose their friendship. Not that Cas thought that could happen, but what if Dean wouldn't like him anymore if they took this step?

 

"Dean," he breathed out and it sounded like a whine. "Would you hate me after we had sex?"

 

“I doubt you’d be that bad,” he breathed out in a soft laugh.

 

He smiled against Dean's hair and shook his head before he leaned in and pressed his lips to Dean's neck in a soft kiss, murmuring, "I want to know if there is a chance you won't want to talk to me after..."

 

Dean shook his head against him. “I already told you, I’m not goin’ anywhere and I’m not letting you go either. And I mean that in the least serial killer sounding way.”

 

Cas chuckled against Dean's skin. "Fuck, you're not making this easy. I need a reason to leave not one to bend you over the kitchen counter."

 

After a beat of silent swaying to unheard music, Dean finally let go of Cas’s arms. “Fuck, Cas.”

 

Cas pushed himself from Dean and turned away from him, taking in a few steadying breaths. "I'm sorry, Dean."

 

Dean flipped around and cupped his face, shaking his head as he visibly swallowed. “Don’t be.”

 

"I promised to make this easier on you and I'm failing miserably," he countered, getting lost in Dean's eyes.

 

“Takes two to tango.” Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve always wanted to say that. I’m getting closer and closer to becoming Humphrey Bogart,” he said with a soft smile. 

 

Cas gave him a soft, short lived smile before he pulled back. "I... I should really go, Dean."

 

Dean nodded and took a step back as well. “Should I take you home or...”

 

Cas shook his head. "No, I'll get an uber." He felt weird in his chest. A feeling he hadn't felt in a while, but was still very familiar. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead. "I'll see you on Monday. Thank you for a great day."

 

“We’re okay, right?” Dean murmured as he stepped back.

 

"Of course," Cas tried to reassure him. Things couldn't go on like this. He wanted to keep Dean as a friend, but they needed a hard break on the flirting.

 

Dean’s gaze slowly lifted, until bright green eyes were locked with his. He quirked his brow and said, “Promise?”

 

He stepped closer and touched Dean's cheek. "I promise. You're not going to lose me over this."

 

Dean nodded against his palm. “Good. Then I guess you better get your ass out of my apartment,” he said with a soft laugh. 

 

Cas chuckled and nodded before he turned around to pet Baby, who had joined them and was wagging her tail. "Take good care of Dean, you hear me? I want him in one piece on Monday."

 

Baby licked his hand and Dean chuckled. “Text me you got home okay, so I don’t have to wonder if your uber driver turned out to be a serial killer and you’ll end up an ID hour long special.”

 

Cas quirked his brow at him. "That was way too detailed to not be creepy, Dean.” He nodded at Dean, giving him one last look before he quickly made it out of the door. 

 

Out on the street he took in a few deep breaths before he called an uber that brought him home. His mind was weirdly empty throughout the drive and it was still empty when he got home and fell against his bed.

 

He knew that was a bad sign. Usually when he felt no connection to his emotions it was always because something had overwhelmed him and the connection just shut down. 

 

Now he just felt empty and stared at his ceiling for a while. He needed to do something. Something that would keep him from constantly falling into that trap with Dean. 

 

He fiddled with his phone before he sent Dean a text message that he was home now. Plain and simple, just the information and nothing more. 

 

His gaze fell on Inias's text messages. Without thinking he pressed the call button.

 

After the fourth ring, Inias answered with a confused sounding, “Cas?”

 

"Yeah, hi." He cleared his throat. "Um, sorry to just call you, um, I was just wondering if you have some time for me? If not, it's okay..."

 

“Right now? It’s almost midnight.”

 

"Yeah, sorry. Did I wake you? I just thought maybe you wanna sleep over again?" He rubbed his hand over his face, hoping he wasn't freaking Inias out. 

 

Before Inias could answer there was a gruff voice in the background that murmured Inias's name and said, “Why are you awake? Don’t you have to get up in four hours?”

 

He had always suspected Inias had other people in his life that he had sex with, but the fact that he was with someone right now really bothered him. He hoped that was a good sign because apparently it started to matter to him. "Sounds like you already have company... Are you still up for tomorrow?" He hated that his voice sounded as cold and disappointed as he felt in that moment. 

 

“Yeah, of course. I’ll be at your place at two.”

 

His phone vibrated in his hand with a new text message, but he didn't look at it, instead he swallowed dryly and replied, "Yeah, okay... Sorry again that I woke you up. I wished..." He shook his head, even though Inias couldn't see it. "See you tomorrow," he murmured.

 

“Alright, Castiel. See you tomorrow.”

 

He ended the call and threw his phone from his bed before he turned around and pressed his face against his pillow. _ Fuck. _ He hadn't felt this down in a long time and he had no idea what to do with himself. After a beat of silence he crawled out of his bed and went over to the kitchen to fill a glass to the brim with whiskey. 

 

Half way through the glass he remembered that he had gotten another message so he stumbled back to his bed to squint his eyes at it. It was weird how difficult it was to unlock his fucking phone.

 

_ Dean: Damnit, and I was more than halfway done with the memoir of the Uber Abductor. _

 

Cas drank the rest of his whiskey in one go before he stared at his phone. The letters were blurry, but after he rubbed his hands over his wet eyes they got clear again. 

 

_ Cas: I can goooooo ouqt ther andtry to  get kidnaped _

 

_ Dean: Sweet jesus how drunk are you? _

 

Cas squinted his eyes at the phone again and scrunched up his nose. How did Dean know he was drunk? He tried to type back, 

 

_ Cas: alot hiow  didu knoow _

 

Instead of texting his phone rang. Dean was calling. 

 

Cas needed three tries to take the call before he slumped down in the bed and held the device upside down to his ear. After a fumbling to right it, he slurred, "Hello?" 

 

“Damn, Cas. I called ‘cause I thought it’d be easier than trying to translate the hieroglyphics you were texting.” Dean chuckled. 

 

"Heroo... Hiero, what? I was just... normal texting." He closed his eyes, cuddling his pillow.

 

“Shit, kid. I still ended up fucking you up, didn’t I?”

 

Cas shrugged before he murmured, "Yeah, you and Nias both. And it's my own damn fault."

 

“Talk to me,” he gently urged.

 

"I don't know what to tell you, Dean." He groaned when a wave of dizziness hit him. "I don't feel so well."

 

Dean sighed softly. “Are you laying down? If not, get your ass on a horizontal surface. Your couch, bed…”

 

“I’m in my bed,” Cas interrupted him before he added, “alone.”

 

“I’m sorry, but you and I both know that’s not the end of the world,” he gently teased.

 

"Inias is sleeping with another guy," he murmured quietly.

 

Dean let out an incredulous snort of laughter. “And if we hesitated one more time tonight, you would’ve bent me over the counter, you said so yourself.”

 

"But you’re off limits," Cas growled back, "so now I fucked up on both fronts."

 

“No, you didn’t. You haven’t even had that conversation with Inias. Are…” Dean hesitated for a moment and softly asked, “Are you trying to blow this up so you build up your protective walls again?”

 

Cas couldn't suppress the sob that escaped his lips. "Yeah," he admitted before he started to hiccup.

 

Dean hushed him. “It’s okay, just take a deep breath and tell me about your favorite memory with any of your family members.”

 

Cas pressed his palm against his forehead and tried to breathe. His head and his throat hurt as he tried to answer Dean’s question, "When I was eight. Dad was still with us and he had this crazy idea to build a pond in our garden. And we all helped dig a massive hole, even Sammy with his little sandbox shovel. We all sat in the water when Dad finally filled the hole.” 

 

That was met with a soft chuckle. “I can actually see your awkward, probably adorable, maybe even chubby eight-year-old self.”

 

“Wasn’t chubby,” Cas complained tiredly. “More like the opposite.”

 

“Well, I’m sure you were still adorable. And is there a picture of all of you in this child made water hole?”

 

"I have no idea. Probably not. Dad wasn't exactly a family man. He didn't take any pictures." He hadn't thought about his father in years. It was weird to talk about him.

 

“Shit. I just keep putting my foot in my mouth, don’t I?” Dean let out a mirthless chuckle.

 

Cas snickered into his pillow. "Not the king of thinking before speaking either so no judging from me." Suddenly other thoughts made their way into his head and he took in a deep breath. "I know it's late, but can you come over?"

 

“You’re drunk as hell, Cas. You’ll be passed out before I get halfway there.”

 

_ No one wants to be with you. _ "Yeah, alright... Was there anything you wanted?"

 

“Stop that. I’m not rejecting you.”

 

"I didn't say you were," Cas mumbled, feeling irritated. "And I have no idea what you want from me. Why did you call?"

 

Dean sighed and  – after a beat of silence  – breathed out a sad sounding, “Don’t shove me away, Cas. Please.”

 

Cas pressed his face into his pillow before he mumbled, "You should shove me away. I'm not good luck, Dean. I'm the last thing you need in your life. Can't even stop hoping you would somehow magically change your mind and give this thing between us a chance. Isn't that pathetic? Even though you basically told me it’s never gonna happen. But yeah, s’my fault if I catch feelings," he mumbled in his pillow.

 

“Cas… what?”

 

That asshole tiny voice in his had gleefully let him know that he had just said all of that out loud instead of to his pillow. "Nothing." Maybe Dean didn’t understand him. "I'm drunk, should ignore me."

 

“You and I need to have a conversation, but I want to have it when you’re sober. Will you promise you’ll call me when you wake up?”

 

His heart sank with Dean's words. "Dean, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, okay? I, fuck... Can't you just forget the last few minutes?"

 

“It’s not what you think. We need to discuss what’s happening between us and I’m not doin’ it with you three sheets to the wind.”

 

"Damn it," Cas murmured into his pillow before he whispered, "I can't promise I’ll call you. Probably won't remember any of this tomorrow."

 

Dean chuckled. “If that’s the case, you get a pass. And if you’re scared, I’ll get that too. But I just want you to know, not wanting feelings and not having them are two completely different things. So make sure you sleep on your stomach and maybe I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

 

He only got half of what Dean had said, his eyelids suddenly feeling very heavy. "Nias comes over tomorrow. Gonna ask him out... to get you out of my mind. S'a good plan."

 

There was a beat of silence before a soft, almost whispered, “Yeah, Cas. It is.”

 

Cas hummed. "And then we can just be friends and I won't lose you."

 

“You never will.”

 

"Hope so. Can't lose you," he murmured as his mind started to drift. "Where are you?" 

 

“In my bed, Baby’s draped over my feet.”

 

"That sounds cozy... Wish you were here though. I can drape over your feet, too."

 

Dean chuckled. “Then where would Baby go? You’re better off a little higher up.”

 

Cas hummed and chuckled. "Where your lips are?" He hummed, imagining Dean in his arms and in his bed, kissing and biting those sexy lips. "You have the most sexy lips."

 

“Said the guy who invented the acronym DSL.”

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head. "Did not, but I would love to suck your dick. Really taking my time though while I open you up with my fingers." His free hand covered his hard cock and he didn't even try to suppress the groan.

 

“Shit, Cas,” Dean breathed out. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing?”

 

"Yes, no, maybe. I don't know," Cas murmured as he slipped his hand in his boxershorts. "I'm touching my hard cock. Is that what you thought?"

 

Dean groaned. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Novak.”

 

"I know," Cas hummed. "But if you want me to stop, you have to come over." 

 

“I can’t. It’s not that I don’t want to, but you’re wasted, Cas. You said you wouldn’t even remember our conversation.”

 

Cas stopped touching himself as he tried to think. "So, if I wasn't wasted you would have come over?"

 

There was a beat of silence and finally Dean breathed out a barely audible, “Yeah, I would have.”

 

After another unbearably long beat of silence, Cas finally asked, "Do you want me to wait for you? Until you're ready for another try?"

 

“No, Cas. That’s not fair to you.”

 

“I would though… if you see a chance for us down the road.”

 

Dean sighed. “I’d like to.”

 

“Is that a good thing?” Cas asked hesitantly, feeling his throat starting to burn again. “I mean… what if we tried a… real date… and then maybe you would know for sure if you need more time or whatever.”

 

“Yeah, maybe… maybe we should try that.”

 

"Yeah?" Cas asked in surprise before he smiled. "Yeah, we should totally try that."

 

“Yeah, okay. Maybe after I get back from California?” He suggested with a hopeful tone.

 

"I would like that," Cas replied in a soft tone of voice.

 

He could practically hear Dean’s smile. “Okay, alright. Good. And uh, I know you have plans with Inias tomorrow, you don’t have to cancel on account of me. It’s gonna be a couple weeks, so…”

 

"Alright," Cas replied thoughtfully. "I keep it in the no strings attached mode then... If you're sure it doesn't bother you."

 

“I promise, I’m not gonna force monogamy for a future date that might solidify we’re better off as friends,” he said in a laugh.

 

"I’ll try to stay positive though," Cas murmured, hating how hopeful he felt again.

 

“Good. Get some rest and text me after you have your fun tomorrow. Deal?”

 

"Deal," Cas replied with a soft sigh. "Sleep well."

 

“Night, Casanova.”

 

Cas grinned as he ended the call. He fell asleep instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of fun notes:
> 
> a) Dean googling IT jokes was literally Frankie googling them and sending them to Any. And Frankie is about as confused about all of them as Dean.
> 
> b) The mystery soda machine was a real thing in Seattle when we wrote this. Alas, the machine has now mysteriously disappeared, much to the chagrin of Seattle (and Washington) residents. Frankie is super glad she got to buy a soda from it before that happened! <3<3


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 

Dean hadn’t been able to think of anything but the late night phone call to Cas since he’d hung up. And it was now Friday. The problem was Cas never mentioned it and the longer he went without bringing it up, the more he realized Cas must have made good on his drunken promise and forgotten about it. Which was probably better.

 

Maybe it was a sign that Dean shouldn’t try to get out there again. Maybe they were better off as friends. And the friendly camaraderie hadn’t stopped so he was grateful for that.

 

After his morning chat with Frank, Dean settled into his chair, booting up his computer as he sipped his coffee. He had been grateful that Inias wasn’t there that morning. And even more grateful that it was his last day of work before flying out to spend _the_ week with his brother.

 

He needed to get away from Seattle and from emotionally confusing IT elves that seemed to occupy his thoughts when Aaron didn’t. Which was also fucking him up. Dean was a combination of relieved and disappointed that Cas had forgotten about their date.

 

But it was probably for the best.

 

Dean got some sort of prompt that he clicked out of when the PC finally booted up and suddenly his screen went all screwy. So much so he couldn’t even read enough to email the elves. With a sigh he called Bela and asked, or rather demanded, she send an email to IT for him with the explanation: _Screen is being stupid, can’t read anything._

 

He sank back against his chair again and waited for Beaker to call or show up. For some reason she’d been the one taking care of all of his IT requests. Something else he tried to not take personally.

 

His phone rang after a minute. When he answered it, it was Cas. He sounded stressed. “What happened?”

 

Dean chuckled and said, “No idea. One of your stupid update prompts came up and I clicked the x. Now my computer is fucked.” He refrained from asking why it wasn’t Beaker responding.

 

“Fuck,” Cas mumbled under his breath. There was a muffled conversation in the background that sounded like Cas had put his palm over the phone before he answered. “Um, Dean, yeah, open the explorer please “

 

Dean furrowed his brow as he stared at the screen. “My internet thingie?”

 

“No, the windows explorer.”

 

“Yeah, the thing with the blue E, right?”

 

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “No the windows explo–wait... Why are you still using Internet Explorer?"

 

Dean sighed. Cas was on one today. “Because my job requires me to use the Internet.”

 

“No shit,” Cas replied dryly before he groaned, “I'm coming up in about ten minutes.”

 

And with that he hung up.

 

Maybe things weren’t as great as he’d thought. Dean sighed again and pulled up his flight itinerary. He was leaving Sunday morning out of SeaTac. It couldn’t come fast enough. Besides, he was about due to see Sammy and Eileen. Maybe it would help him get his thoughts and feelings in order.

 

It took a bit longer than ten minutes when Cas finally knocked and entered his office. He looked stressed, his hair in complete disarray. "Hey, Dean," he gave him a quick smile before he rounded his desk to look at his PC. "Sorry, I don't have much time today. Charlie is sick and Microsoft reported a massive security issue in their latest server update." He didn't look at him just quickly clicked a few things on his PC.

 

“Right,” Dean said as he scooted his chair back. “So I’m guessing you’re too busy to get lunch with me later?”

 

"You mean like food?" He looked up for a moment, blinking. "I didn't even have time for breakfast yet."

 

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled a Power Bar from his emergency stash drawer. Chocolate peanut butter, and since Cas worshipped the God of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, maybe he’d like it. He handed it to Cas. “Eat this. Now. I want to see you eat it.”

 

"Thank you," Cas mumbled and gave him a hesitant look before he clicked some more things on Dean's computer and rebooted it. He opened the Power Bar wrapper and started munching on it with a soft groan, giving Dean a sheepish look. "Fuck, I really was hungry."

 

Dean nodded and got out of his chair, pushing it behind Cas so he could sit down. “Take a break for two minutes. Just two.”

 

Cas practically whined, but at least he sat down. "Why?"

 

“Because I’m not up to date with my BLS certification, so if you drop dead, I can’t save you.”

 

"Not going to die from a day without food," Cas grumbled. "Not the first stressful day on the job."

 

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “Where’s Bunsen? Make him do some of the work.”

 

"He has taken over working on my bugfix as we speak. But someone also has to reply to support calls, like yours," Cas explained before he grinned. "I drew the short straw."

 

“Ha-ha,” Dean murmured as he rolled his eyes. “Take a deep breath, count to ten, and you can get back to work.”

 

Cas closed his eyes for a second before he blinked them open again. "Sorry that I haven't had much time the last few days. Are you feeling okay, ready for your trip?"

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “I’m fine, Cas. As fine as I can be.”

 

Cas gave him a quick smile and nodded. "Good. If that should change and you need a distraction, call me, text me, whatever."

 

“That goes both ways, Cas. Like you.”

 

Cas gave him a smirk before Dean's computer distracted him and he clicked on a few things again. "Okay, graphic driver update was successful. And do you see this super cute fox icon here?"

 

Dean shrugged. “Yeah.”

 

"This is your internet browser. Hands off the ugly blue E, alright?" He winked before he clicked on the E and threw it into the recycle bin on his desktop. “You don’t need that.”

 

He shook his head and laughed. “You elves are so judgy.”

 

“With good reason,” Cas replied with another wink. “And just so you don't get the wrong impression. The Internet Explorer is still there. ‘Cause this is windows. I just deleted the desktop shortcut so you're not tempted again. But if you stumble across it again, yeah please, just use Firefox."

 

Dean smirked and gave him a wink. “That your way of turning me down for lunch?”

 

Cas gave him a pained look. "I seriously would love to, but I can't, Dean."

 

“Okay,” he said with an understanding smile. “Then you might want to hug me before you leave, might be our last chance before I come back.”

 

Cas sighed deeply before he pulled Dean into a tight hug, pressing his face against his throat. "I’ll record all the Dr. Sexy episodes for us and won't watch them until you're back."

 

Dean chuckled and held on for a moment. “You better not.”

 

Cas squeezed him tighter. "It's no fun without you."

 

“I know.” Dean let out a shaky exhale and reluctantly drew back. “If you’re on the verge of punching walls, text me, I’ll send you funny Gifs or something.”

 

Cas hesitantly let go of his arms, his tongue darted out to lick over his lips before he gave him a smile. "I like GIFs with animals and muppets."

 

Dean smirked. “Like I didn’t know that.”

 

“You already know me too well, Dean.” Cas snickered before he suddenly hugged him again. "Travel safely and text me when you get there, okay?"

 

Dean nodded as he sat back down in his chair. “Please take a few minutes to breathe every hour or so.”

 

"Breathing is overrated, but I’ll do my best." He waved at him from the door before he added, "For you."

 

“Good.” Dean smiled as he watched Cas step out of the room. Just as the door was closing behind him, he made eye contact with Bela, who quirked her brow at his smile.

 

Dean rolled his eyes at her and turned back to his computer, trying to calm down his breathing.

 

The door opened again and Benny stuck his head in. "Hey, brother. You got a minute?"

 

He grabbed his baseball, half tempted to throw it at Benny’s head. Dean took a deep breath and clutched the ball in a bruising grip. “Sure,” he clipped, completely uncaring how annoyed he sounded.

 

"You okay?" Benny asked as he stepped closer with a worried look. "I mean, dumb question. ‘Course you're not, but I just wanted to check in with you."

 

Dean sighed and instantly sank against his chair. “Sorry, man. Yeah, it’s, uh… It’s not as easy as last year was.”

 

Benny leaned against his desk with a frown. “Why? What happened? I thought you were doing better?”

 

Dean scoffed and shook his head in dismay. “I like someone, Ben.”

 

Benny raised his eyebrow in surprise. "What? _Like_ ‘like?’ Are you dating someone? Why am I only hearing about it now?"

 

“‘Cause I’m not, but fuck, Benny. I want to.” Dean scrubbed his hand over his face, letting out a shaky exhale.

 

Benny gave him a wide eyed look. "But that's a good thing, isn't it? It means a part of you is ready to move on."

 

Dean groaned and dropped his forehead to his desk. “But what if I’m not, I’m just pretending I am because it feels good, feels…” Dean almost whined as he shook his head. He knew he was being over dramatic, but he was always a little more emotional this time of year and Cas… Cas wasn’t helping.

 

Benny sighed and clapped his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Hey, man, if it feels good, then it can't be a bad thing. You're overthinking this. You should just go with it and try. What if it's the right move?"

 

“And what if it’s the wrong one? What if I’m not ready and I fuck someone over because I’m caving in to urges, lust?”

 

"Then you at least tried," Benny answered with a sigh. "It's not so much different when you're out there in the dating life. Sometimes you try with people and it doesn't work out and you break up again. Of course someone can get hurt, but that's how it works."

 

Dean sighed and shook his head as he sat up again. “It’s self abuse, isn’t it? Because whatever happens, however we look at it, what happened with me and Aaron will happen to every couple. At some point. Whether it’s an accident, or old age, or whatever. Why would we do that to ourselves?”

 

"Because you can't only look at the last pages of the book. It's the journey that counts, Dean." Benny leaned a little closer. "And it's okay to enjoy some happiness along the way."

 

“And you see, I _know_ that here,” he tapped his head and sighed. “But something’s holding me back, something’s making me scared. I wish I believed in ghosts, maybe I’d be able to blame Aaron.” Dean let out a mirthless laugh.

 

"Dean..." Benny sighed before he leaned back. "Maybe it's just the timing. Just go to your vacation and think about it. If it doesn't work out with that guy, you at least know for sure."

 

Dean groaned as he braced his forearm over his eyes. “It gets worse.”

 

“Worse?” Benny raised his eyebrows.

 

“He works here,” he confessed, pre-wincing because Dean had been so haughty about Benny’s work crush, telling him over and over that it wasn’t a good idea. Office romance was basically a guaranteed trip to HR and awkward breakroom conversation. And Dean always took the opportunity to rub it in Benny’s face when something happened that proved him right.

 

Benny chuckled and shook his head. "No way. Dean 'don't fuck where you eat' Winchester has a work crush. Is it the new head of IT?"

 

Dean groaned even louder. “Is it that obvious?”

 

Benny shrugged. "Well, I guess it's a recent development and he certainly looks like your type of guy. So it wasn't a big leap."

 

He let out a soft sigh of relief and looked at Benny, feeling a little overwhelmed. “Do you think Aaron would be mad? That I might be moving on?”

 

Benny shook his head and gave him a soft smile. "Aaron loved you, Dean. He wouldn't want you to be unhappy for the rest of your life."

 

“No, not the rest of my life, but when it’s barely been four years? We were together for seven, Benny.”

 

"Four years is a long time, Dean."

 

Dean shook his head and sighed. “I loved him longer than that. I feel like I shouldn’t be so ready to move on.”

 

Benny looked at the floor with a deep sigh. "There is no countdown to when you're ready for something new. But if you met someone and he makes you feel good, then you shouldn't just waste the second chance."

 

After a beat of silence, Dean nodded and sank into his chair. “At least I have a week and a half to stew in it.”

 

"Yeah, I'm glad you're taking the time off. You look like you could use a vacation." He pushed himself off of the desk before he grinned. "Gonna be quiet on this floor the next two weeks."

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “One of these days you’ll take me up on my asshole-boss, make people cry, lessons.”

 

Benny gave him a playful bitch face before he chuckled. “When should I get you Sunday?”

 

“My flight’s departing at nine forty. So, pick me up at seven? Seven fifteen maybe?”

 

"Sure thing, brother." Benny grinned. "Wanna go to lunch with me?"

 

Dean smiled and nodded. “Yeah, come get me when it’s that time.”

 

"Alright." Benny gave him a wink. "Maybe you can tell me about the new guy? I'm completely out of the loop these days."

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Stop it. You’re turning this into a _Sweet Valley High_ book and I’m having none of it.”

 

"Hey, I tell you everything about Andrea and you love the drama. Don't lie," Benny complained.

 

“I love it when it’s not involving me,” he argued.

 

"Yeah, you're not getting out of this. Quid pro quo, Clarice."

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “He’s… he’s something else,” he said vaguely.

 

"An alien?" Benny chuckled, leaning back against his desk again.

 

“Yes, that’s exactly what I meant,” Dean said in a solid deadpan.

 

"You know that would explain a lot of shit from the IT department. They probably are all aliens."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. There was a reason Benny was one of his best friends. “We built a fort in his living room together,” he confessed.

 

Benny held his hand in front of his chest and gasped. "Oh, fuck. You have to keep that guy. You know he's the right one if you do shit like that."

 

“Shut up, Benny.” Dean shook his head and let out a breath of amazement. “Baby loves him.”

 

"Wow." He gave Dean a genuine smile. "Dean, that sounds like you found a really good guy. I'm serious. I just want you to be happy, man."

 

With a deep sigh, Dean scrubbed his hand over his face. “I just wish the guilt would go away.”

 

Benny grabbed Dean's shoulder and squeezed it. "It _will_ go away. As soon as you accept that you need to move forward."

 

Dean grabbed Benny’s hand on his shoulder and sighed. “I miss him. How can I miss him and feel this way?”

 

"Because you had something real. Something a lot of people are trying to find. And it was taken from you," Benny replied quietly, "but that doesn't mean you can't find it again."

 

“We can’t know it’s the same thing. I mean, what are the odds anyway?”

 

"Low." Benny shrugged before he gave him a smile. "But maybe you're a lucky guy."

 

Dean shook his head and laughed mirthlessly. “Nothing is farther from the truth.”

 

Benny rolled his eyes. "I meant the concept of falling in love twice in your life."

 

“Dude, it’s a crush. The L word is a little extreme, don’t you think?”

 

Benny shrugged and smirked. "That's how it starts and before you know it, boom! You’re gone."

 

Dean sighed and pointed to his door. “Get out of my office. I’m done with the chick flick crap.”

 

Benny laughed and shook his head. "Alright, hypocrite. See you later."

 

As the door closed behind Benny, he let out a soft laugh and looked back at his now working computer. Dean couldn’t help but smile as his thoughts went back to Cas. He really was something else. Dean never thought he could feel that excited, getting to know each other, scary and new part of a potential relationship thing again. To have that sort of Jim and Pam connection with someone.

 

And the poor guy was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Dean hoped he took care of himself. Without hesitating, Dean clicked on the fox icon like Cas told him to and went to google to start his search.

 

When he found the perfect one, he pulled up his email and started a new email to Cas.

 

* * *

 _To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: Here’s your chance to take a couple minute break_

 

_Because here’s the deal, I have to know… Is this funny?_

 

_A forged DNS packet walked into a bar and asks the bartender: “Need a root?” The next day, no one can find the bar…_

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Dean sank back against his chair and turned to look out of the window. It was the Friday before his vacation and he couldn’t find the will to actually work. Even though there were a few loose ends he needed to take care of before he left.

 

It didn't take long for Cas to reply.

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: Re: Here’s your chance to take a couple minute break_

 

_LOL!!!_

 

_You're the reason Kevin startled and poured his tea over his keyboard cuz I started laughing._

 

 _Castiel Novak_  
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5377_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

Dean chuckled and hit reply.

 

* * *

 _To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: Re: Re: Here’s your chance to take a couple minute break_

 

_Good, I’m glad. I feel like I’m the nerd whisperer._

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Just a few seconds later he got a reply.

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: :)_

 

_A nerd whisperer? That doesn't sound like a thing. You made that up!_

 

 _Castiel Novak_  
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5377_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

He ignored how warm he felt from a few words in black and white on a screen.

 

* * *

 _To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: I use waffles and Netflix to calm them_

 

_The nerd is a fascinating creature, rather skittish and somewhat feral. You have to approach them very carefully. They’re terrified of sunlight and being alone with a woman._

 

_(You better have heard that in the Steve Irwin voice that was in my head.)_

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

It took a few minutes before he got a new email.

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: I worked hard on that LCD tan!_

 

_(I sure did)_

 

_The nerd is also very fond of peanut butter and can be lured into a trap with it. He likes to get petted once he’s tamed, but it's not an easy thing to do. Unless you have freckles and work in marketing._

 

 _Castiel Novak_  
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5377_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

Damn, he missed that. The flirting. It felt safer through email. Like maybe it just wasn’t real. No more real than cyber sex bots or whatever existed nowadays.

 

* * *

 _To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: Does LCD stand for Lack of Color in Dermis? Cuz you are the whitest motherfucker._

 

_They can also be lured in with terrible network soap shows and beer. But it takes very little for them to put themselves on display and call out their mating call._

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

The next answer took even longer and Dean almost thought it had been the last email from Cas for a while. But then his name appeared temptingly in his inbox again.

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: liquid crystal display (if I'm white as a sheet it's working)_

 

_The nerd likes to mate very often. The potent male likes to be dominant and takes care of its mating partner very thoroughly until the partner ends up completely satisfied and content. It’s also very fond of cuddling and giving massages to their partner._

 

 _Castiel Novak_  
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5377_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

And Dean thought of that more often than he cared to admit. He sighed and shook his head when a thrum of jealousy coursed through him when his thoughts drifted to Inias. He got to know that first hand.

 

* * *

 _To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: That legit sounds like a drug they served on trays in the hay days of Studio 54_

 

_The nerd’s primary ideal mate is the liberal and often college attending barista. The mating ritual includes coffee making and bullshit discussions about artistic movements no one alive gives a flying fuck about anymore. Because we have things like Snapchat and Candy Crush now._

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

The answer came pretty fast then.

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: It's what your monitor is made of_

 

_Are you jealous?_

 

 _Castiel Novak_  
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5377_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

* * *

 _To: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: My monitor is made of moxxy and sass_

 

_And if I was?_

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

* * *

 _To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: You have a weird relationship to your monitor_

 

_Then I would do something so you wouldn't need to be jealous anymore._

 

 _Castiel Novak_  
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5377_  
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

Fuck email. Dean pulled out his cell phone.

 

_Dean: Like?_

 

For a long moment there was no answer and Dean wondered if maybe Cas wasn't looking at his phone. But then he finally answered.

 

_Cas: Like not having sex with other people again._

 

Again. It stood out like a beacon. Dean let out a shaky exhale and nodded to no-one.

 

_Dean: How’s that going by the way?_

_Dean: With Inias._

 

_Cas: Unchanged._

 

_Dean: What does that mean?_

 

_Cas: It means that it's still not going anywhere other than just being sex._

 

_Dean: And how do you feel about it?_

 

_Cas: What do you mean?_

 

Dean sighed and shook his head. Taking a minute before he responded.

 

_Dean: Are you disappointed?_

 

_Cas: Why would I be? If it bothers you that I have a sexual thing with him I'll end it._

 

_Dean: God why is that so stepford sounding?_

 

_Cas: That's not an answer._

 

_Dean: Cuz I don’t want to force you into something you don’t want._

 

For a few minutes nothing happened before he got another message.

 

_Cas: I want you._

 

This was the first time he’d gotten close to the forgotten conversation.

 

_Dean: Me too._

 

_Cas: Is the date still on?_

 

Dean smiled and replied,

 

_Dean: Didn’t think you remembered._

 

_Cas: I do. All the embarrassing details. And although I regret what led to my confession, I don't regret telling you._

 

_Dean: Good. And yes. Will you text me while I’m away?_

 

_Cas: Of course._

 

_Dean: Good. Maybe I should let you do your work._

 

_Cas: Yeah, sadly we don’t have any real IT elves doing the work for us :(_

 

_Dean: Is there a temp or an intern we can relocate to help your department?_

 

_Cas: No we need skilled people. I need Charlie :( but she is at home with the flu_

 

_Dean: I’d offer to help but I’m… stop laughing. But I’m sure you wouldn’t want that. Lol._

 

_Cas: o.o!!!!_

_Cas: Not sure if I should laugh or cry._

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. Damn, the crush was damn near uncontrollable.

 

_Dean: We both know you’re laughing._

 

_Cas: You can't prove anything._

 

_Dean: Didn’t I tell you about the security camera just over your desk? I see everything._

 

_Cas: Now I'm laughing. That you think you can make me believe that you installed a camera and software on your pc. That’s just hilarious._

_Cas: I think I'm dying of laughter._

_Cas: I can't… that is just so good._

 

_Dean: Hey! Maybe I know more than you think I know!_

 

_Cas: Hahahahahahahaha_

_Cas: Please stop!_

 

Dean couldn’t help but laugh.

 

_Dean: Dick._

 

_Cas: Are you asking for a picture ;)_

 

_Dean: Sure, would love to see Bunsen’s horrified face in the background._

 

_Cas: He is attached to his PC. The room could burn and he wouldn’t notice._

 

And as tempting as it was, Dean wasn’t all that comfortable asking for dick pics. Not when they hadn’t even had a date. While that made him feel like he was an old-fashioned gentleman from the fifties, Dean also wanted the first time he saw Cas’s dick to be in person.

 

_Dean: Well, I don’t recommend testing that theory._

_Dean: And hold off on the pic. Want to wait._

 

_Cas: Rawr._

 

Dean rolled his eyes and laughed.

 

_Dean: Get back to work, Kitten. And yes, I’m still using that nickname. Especially after that text._

 

_Cas: I'm a dangerous tiger :(_

 

_Dean: Sure you are, Kitten._

 

_Cas: Let's see if you still say that after I eat you alive._

 

_Dean: Cannibalism is definitely not one of my kinks._

 

_Cas: I hope you don't realize California is so much nicer with all the sun and stay there._

 

_Dean: I am coming back. My brother can only handle so much of me._

_Dean: Besides Baby and a few other people I like are here, I have more reasons to come back._

 

_Cas: Who is looking after Baby when you’re gone?_

 

_Dean: She’s going to a kennel. I know it sucks, but she’s used to it. It’s an annual tradition._

 

_Cas: Is that already set in stone?_

 

Dean was taken aback. The majority of people weren’t down for dog or apartment sitting, so he never even bothered asking anymore. He’d known Becky, who ran the Kennel, for years. She was referred to him by Crowley and he never had a problem taking Baby there, but he would feel better knowing someone else was willing to watch her. And it would save him a few hundred bucks. Not that money was an issue.

 

_Dean: Are you offering to keep my dragon for the week and a half I’m gone?_

 

_Cas: Yes! We got along pretty well and it’s nice to have some company._

 

The smile that split his lips was starting to hurt his cheeks.

 

_Dean: Actually, that would be amazing. Would it be easier for you to stay at my place? Or bring her to yours?_

 

_Cas: What would be easier for her? So she has the least stress._

 

“Stop trying to get me to fall in love with you,” Dean murmured to his phone.

 

_Dean: All her stuff is at home, so it would be easier but if it’s too much to constantly go to my place or stay at my place, we can make her up a doggy sleepover bag._

 

_Cas: It's not even for two weeks. I can manage to go to your place if you're okay with it. That way she can stay in an environment she is used to._

 

_Dean: Awesome. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I can make a copy of my key and get it to you before I leave today?_

 

_Cas: Sure :D I should warn you though. You might get a lot of silly photos from us._

 

_Dean: No warnings necessary. I expect nothing less and in fact, you’ll be in friend time out if I didn’t get any silly pics._

 

_Cas: Oh you will get pics. We will have so much fun you would have wished you stayed with us._

 

Dean sighed as he sank back into his chair. “No can do.”

 

_Dean: I’m looking forward to it. Okay, get back to work elf._

 

_Cas: I'm multitasking. :P_

 

_Dean: Sexy._

 

_Cas: I know. When are you coming over?_

 

_Dean: Probably after lunch, I’ll drop the key off to you and debate whether or not I make this a half day._

 

_Cas: I bet you still have a lot of packing to do._

 

_Dean: Nah, I wait until the morning of to pack. I prefer to have a little chaos right before I go out of town._

 

_Cas: I get stressed out just hearing that_

 

Dean barked out a laugh, suddenly images of them trying to go on a weekend vacation and the domestic bliss of getting into several small fights because Dean was a procrastinator filled his mind’s eye. Even though guilt accompanied the thought, he found he didn’t quite hate it.

 

_Dean: Hey, the way I see things, if I forget something, I can always get it wherever I’m going._

 

_Cas: As long as you don’t miss your plane because your packing isn’t on schedule._

 

_Dean: Once I went on a month sabbatical to tour Europe and I packed fifteen minutes before I had to leave for my flight. More than enough time._

 

_Cas: No. Please stop telling me stuff like that! Oh man!_

 

_Dean: Seriously, if you can’t pack in less than twenty minutes, you shouldn’t be traveling. ;)_

 

_Cas: I could pack in that time. But I’d rather pack in peace and without any stress. Like an organized person._

 

_Dean: Organization is boring. Chaos is when people thrive._

 

_Cas: I see a pattern between your desktop and your life._

 

Dean smiled at his phone.

 

_Dean: I’m consistent._

 

_Cas: Not talking to you anymore until you start packing._

 

_Dean: Then I guess we aren’t talking again until right before I leave. Sigh._

 

There was no response to that. Well, two could play at that game.

 

_Dean: You know, the other night, I had the most intense sex dream..._

 

Nothing.

 

_Dean: It was about you._

 

_Cas: I'm listening. Not talking._

 

He had to refrain from laughing triumphantly.

 

_Dean: It may or may not have involved an in question panty collection._

 

_Cas: I hate you._

_Cas: Seriously._

_Cas: Now I have a boner at work and it's all your fault._

 

_Dean: Well, then with that I’ll leave you. I’m very busy and important. Must get back to work._

_Dean: You understand._

 

_Cas: Have I mentioned that I hate you?_

_Cas: Not really though, but I do. At the moment. A little bit._

 

_Dean: Now the question is, will you invade my privacy to see if I’m fucking with you when you go to my place to check on Baby?_

 

_Cas: Why did you tell me that???_

_Cas: I hadn't thought of it before!_

_Cas: Damn it..._

 

_Dean: Hmmm. Quite the dilemma._

 

_Cas: I want to wait until I see them on your body._

_Cas: If this collection doesn't exist I'm going to be very very very very very disappointed. Very._

 

Dean chuckled to himself. It didn’t, but if things worked out between him and Cas, he wouldn’t have any issues changing that.

 

_Dean: Then I guess we’ll see what happens when I get back. ;)_

 

_Cas: Can’t wait :D_

 

Dean put his phone back into his pocket and stared at his computer. It was almost noon. Holy shit. He literally spent the entire morning either talking about or talking to Cas. Benny was probably going to drop by soon to take him to lunch. At that point, he hadn’t gotten any work done and it didn’t look like he was going to, so after shooting his the boss an email about cutting out, notifying Bela, he waited for Benny to arrive.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Baby licked his face and Dean let out a surprised and amused bark of laughter. Closer to a giggle, but no one was around, so he was going to call it whatever he wanted. He was nice and warm. A bottle and a half of whiskey can do that to you.

 

Basically, after a sexually frustrating tete-a-tete with Cas when he gave him a spare key, Dean had come straight home and started drinking everything he had in his cupboards. There were so many emotions and thoughts and he just needed them to shut the fuck up.

 

Thoughts like how much he really liked Cas. Like a lot. A lot more than he’d liked anyone in years. In fact, it was the same level as when he first met Aaron.

 

Dean would never forget that night. He was at some bar, working with a few different marketing firms and engaging different patrons, trying to get an idea of what it was a certain demographic was looking for in a bar and grill. Aaron had been following him around and Dean had started getting totally skeeved out. To such an extent he confronted him. Aaron’s response was simple, “We didn’t have a moment?”

 

After a clumsy and embarrassing fumbling over his words, because Dean still wasn’t all that comfortable with his sexuality at that point. Aaron bought him a drink to calm his nerves and by the end of the night, they were making out against his car.

 

The memory of Aaron started a fresh wave of guilt for even thinking, just for a moment, he was ready to move on. He couldn’t be. He shouldn’t be. And Cas was fucking everything up for him. Dean had never both wished he’d never met someone and couldn’t wait to see someone again. It was fucking with him even more.

 

Baby remained at his side. She knew what time of year it was and he couldn’t believe how grateful he was to Cas for watching her. It sucked that he couldn’t bring her with him. But Eileen’s mother lived with her and Sammy and she was terrified of dogs. Cas offering to watch her was… it was so much more meaningful than he could express.

 

Because Aaron’s death fucked her up too. And Dean hated leaving her, but he couldn’t stay in Seattle. Not when it was filled with the memories of a life he was never going to have again. Or, at least, he had thought as much. Dean’s thoughts went back to Cas and he took another swig of the whiskey.

 

He needed to stop the thoughts and the guilt. And fuck. He really needed to get laid. Cas had been teasing him to the point of incoherence basically since the night they built the fort and… goddamnit, it had been too long. Way too damn long.

 

 _Shit._ Maybe that’s what he needed. Maybe he needed to have his brains fucked out. That would stop the thoughts. With a mumbled and clumsy kiss to Baby’s head, Dean finished the second bottle of whiskey and grabbed his keys. Completely forgetting about locking the door until he got down to the street and at that point, it was too damn late.

 

Dean managed to order a Lyft without dropping his phone, which he counted as a win. He didn’t know Cas’s exact address, but he knew there was a burger joint a block away.

 

By the time he reached Cas’s building after a ride that was as foggy as his brain, he stumbled up the stairs until he finally reached Cas’s door. With a breathless laugh he started banging on Cas’s door.

 

“Oh, Castiel?” he sing-songed as he kept knocking. What started as a normal knock slowly turned into _Smoke on the Water_ by Deep Purple as he sang Cas’s name over and over again instead of the lyrics.

 

The door of the neighbors apartment opened and an elderly woman appeared with a frown. "Keep it down, young man!"

 

It was right before Cas opened his door with a frown. He was just wearing boxer shorts, his hair was a wild mess. "Dean?"

 

Dean giggled and pointed at the neighbor’s door. “I made your great grandmother quite angry.” At that Dean doubled over with laughter as he swayed and accidentally slammed into the door frame. He apologized to it.

 

Cas apologized to the neighbor and pulled Dean inside of his apartment. "Wow, you're drunk."

 

“And you’re sexy. Which is why I’m here. You should sex me,” he mumbled as he started trying to pull off his shirt, but it kept getting stuck around his arm holes. Stupid fucking arms.

 

He felt strong arms around him as Cas pulled him close. "Yeah, no that would be a very bad idea, Dean."

 

Dean whined and shook his head. “Not sexing me is a worser idea. Come on.” He pulled back enough and tried to pull off Cas’s boxers.

 

"Damn, you're cute when you're drunk," Cas chuckled and captured his wrist to pull them away from his boxers before he walked him over to the kitchen. "Stay here, I'm getting you a glass of water."

 

Dean did as he said, but he proceeded to take off his clothes in the process. Cas returned just as he fell over his halfway pulled down jeans, which prompted another laughing fit.

 

"Dean, stop undressing," Cas chastised him before Dean was suddenly lifted up in strong arms and carried over to the fort and on the couch inside. “Wait here,” Cas commanded after he had put Dean down on the couch to get the glass of water.

 

Now seated, it was a little easier to get fully naked. Dean tossed his shirt and pants on the floor. He debated keeping his underwear on, it was a hilarious pair of boxer briefs with the open mouth of a bear over the crotch. Dean decided to keep them on before sprawling himself out on the couch as he waited for Cas to return.

 

Cas chuckled when he joined him in the fort, handing him the glass of water, kneeling on the floor next to the couch. "Wild undies you got there."

 

Dean waggled his eyebrows. “Knew you’d like ‘em. Now come on…” He arched his hips up as he started pulling down his underwear. “I need a good, hard fucking.”

 

Cas grabbed his hand and stopped him. "I'm sure you do, Dean. But I won't have sex with you when you're drunk."

 

He whined again and forced Cas’s hand over his groin. “Come on. I know you want it.”

 

Cas pulled his hand back with a sigh and nodded. "Yeah, I do. And I will fuck your brains out, if you come back from your trip and still want me, Dean."  He cupped his cheek. "What prompted this?"

 

Dean narrowed his eyes at Cas. Suddenly all of the emotions he was repressing came to the forefront of his mind and he couldn’t breathe. He shook his head and pulled away from Cas, grabbing his clothes from the floor. “Sorry I bothered you. I’ll go.”

 

Cas held him back, his voice sounded soothing, "Hey, it's just me and you would never bother me, Dean." He pulled him a little bit closer again. "If you don't want to be alone you could stay here, maybe sleep it off?"

 

He shrugged him off, maybe a little rougher than necessary. Dean was drunk, he was pretty fucked up over all of the different emotions he was feeling, about Aaron, and about Cas, and to top it off, he was just rejected. And damn it, he really needed to get laid. Dean stumbled as he made his way out of the fort and towards the front door, haphazardly trying to pull his clothes back on.

 

"Dean, wait." Cas followed him, trying to hold him back. "Please, don't leave like this." He swallowed visibly, looking distressed. "Please."

 

“Really not in the mood to hang out with the guy who rejected me,” he spat as he yanked his pants up. Fuck the zipper, that was just going to stay where it was.

 

"I'm not rejecting you, Dean," Cas growled, pushing him against the front door. "I want you more than anything. But you're drunk and I'm not going to take advantage of you."

 

Dean scoffed. “Yeah, bet if I was Inias I’d already be bent over a surface and screaming your name.” He sighed and shook his head. “I get it, alright? It just… it sucks. So I’m gonna go.”

 

Cas stepped closer, his face suddenly so near, breathing hard against his skin, "Dean. As long as you're drunk I have no idea if you really want this, or if you're just sabotaging yourself and ending up hating me the next day. You're not thinking straight." He touched his face. "You know how much I want you."

 

“Then take me. Take me before I lose the goddamn nerve,” he demanded with a tremble in his voice.

 

Cas cupped his other cheek, his voice sounded breathless, "If you needed to drink to be brave enough to do this then you don't really want this, Dean." He sighed and let his arms fall. "I'm gonna drive you home."

 

“I needed a drink because instead of going out of town for my four year wedding anniversary, I’m leaving to escape the reminder that I had to plan a funeral instead of a goddamn wedding. And you know what? Things were going fine, as fine as they could be. I was dealing with learning to live my life again without complications and then you show up!” Dean was suddenly choking on his emotions, he gasped for air as his breathing quickened and he felt like he was suffocating.

 

Cas stepped away from him, taking in a shuddering breath. "I see." He gave him a quick, hesitant look before he said, "Then maybe it's better if we don't go out on that date. Just stay friends."

 

Dean let out a mirthless laugh and shook his head. “I knew it. I knew it was a stupid idea to get my friggin’ hopes up.” His lip trembled and Dean willed it to stop. He needed more booze. This was all too much. Cas usually made everything feel so easy and now… now it wasn’t easy. He pulled his shirt on inside out, but he didn’t give a fuck. “Well, let me know if you’d rather I drop Baby off at the kennel,” he said as he reached for the doorknob.

 

Cas grabbed his hand and Dean noticed that his eyes looked watery. "Stop, Dean. What do you want me to say? I want this to work between us, but fuck... you're so fucked up about this thing between us that you started drinking. I know I'm a hypocrite to judge, but I don't want you to get hurt over this. You mean too much to me."

 

“I started drinking because I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he confessed quietly, “because you have the potential to… and I don’t know if I…” Dean sighed and drew back from him. “Sorry I ruined your night.”

 

"Hey..." He nudged his shoulder. "It can't be a ruined night if I got to see your face... and your very nice underwear." He stepped closer again. "Emotions are high right now, I know. But my offer stands. You can either stay with me or I’ll take you home."

 

Dean sighed, his emotions were starting to get the best of him. “You should kick my ass to the curb.”

 

"Yeah, not going to do that," Cas whispered.

 

“Why are you wasting your time on me?” Dean asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

Cas laughed mirthlessly. "I could ask you the same thing."

 

“Because I’m pretty sure I’m already starting to fall for you,” he breathed out, unable to hold back the solitary tear that slipped out.

 

Cas stepped closer, gently rubbing the tear from his cheek. "Yeah, me too." He gave him a pained smile before he added, "And I don't want to mess this up. Our timing sucks... but I'm willing to wait, Dean."

 

Dean grasped his wrist and couldn’t break away from that intense and utterly sympathetic gaze. “So what do we do?”

 

"I'll take you home, tuck you in and you’ll take that flight tomorrow." He rubbed his thumb over his wrist before he added, "I’ll look after Baby and when you're back, we’ll talk."

 

His lip trembled again as a couple more tears slipped out. Dean nodded. “Okay.”

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him to pull him close. "Come here," he hushed him, "everything will be alright. I promise you."

 

“You can’t know that,” he breathed out as he pressed his face into the crook of Cas’s neck, terrified to let go.

 

"I know that I will do everything in my power to make it alright," Cas murmured before he pressed a soft kiss to the side of his head.

 

That’s when the first small sob escaped. Quickly followed by another. And another. Until he was crumbling in Cas’s arms.

 

Cas just held him tightly against his body, solid and warm, murmuring soft, comforting words into his hair.

 

Dean swallowed against the lump in his throat as he clung to Cas. Somehow, through a hiccuped sob, he murmured, “I’m terrified.”

 

"I know." Cas leaned back and carded his fingers through his hair. "Me, too. I didn't expect this to happen when I moved here... when I met you. I was so ready to never let anyone close to me ever again and then you just tore down all my walls. And for the first time, I want this again. It's scary."

 

And it’s all Dean wanted too. He never imagined he would want something like that again. Not after everything. Not after losing Aaron. How it almost broke him. For good. Dean managed to finally get his sobs under control and drew back, clumsily wiping his soaked face. “Man, with any luck seeing me like this has changed your mind and you’ll never find me sexy again,” he joked weakly.

 

"Yeah, you're out of luck." Cas chuckled lowly. "You could be in a potato sack, sick will yellow fever, and I'd still find you sexy."

 

Dean let out a waterlogged laugh. “No accounting for taste.”

 

“Never claimed to have any,” Cas returned with a soft smile.

 

After a deep breath, Dean nodded and sighed. “I can get a Lyft back. You should rest.”

 

“Are you sure? It’s no trouble.” It was that moment Dean realized Cas meant it. That he would probably do anything Dean asked. That he was someone he could rely on.

 

“I know it’s not,” he breathed out as he cupped Cas’s cheek. “I’ve already disturbed your night enough as it is though.”

 

"That's alright. You have a free pass of disturbing me whenever you want," Cas replied softly as he leaned into his hand.

 

Dean sighed and nodded. “Thanks, Cas. You always seem to be rescuing me lately.”

 

"Well you do, too, so that goes both ways. Wanna sit down on the couch? I’ll set up an uber," Cas suggested with a smile.

 

“Nah, I can order Lyft on my phone. I feel bad enough as it is.”

 

"Then let me at least come down with you and wait for it. I just want to make sure you get home safely. Otherwise I'm not going to sleep," Cas explained as he grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on before he slipped a shirt over his head.

 

Dean was weirdly touched and mildly annoyed. He nodded though and waited for Cas by the door. “I doubt I’ll be kidnapped, Cas.”

 

“I would totally kidnap you,” Cas replied as he opened the door for him and hooked his arm under Dean’s. “But that’s not what I’m worried about.”

 

“I promise I don’t plan on kidnapping anyone either,” he quipped. He was actually grateful for Cas’s support. Dean was feeling more and more unsteady on his feet.

 

Cas chuckled and pulled him a little tighter. "How did you know that was my concern?"

 

Dean smiled, feeling an overwhelming urge to never let go. “You’re predictable.”

 

"I'll try to work on that." Cas laughed as he opened the door to the street. It was a fresh summer night. Not too cold when there was no wind. "Are you feeling a little better?" Cas asked quietly.

 

“Well, I’m pretty damn embarrassed, sexually frustrated, and fucked up emotionally, but… I guess it could be worse.”

 

"That's the spirit," Cas replied with a soft smile, rubbing his thumb over Dean's neck.

 

Dean sighed as he looked at his phone and nodded. “My Lyft will be here in twelve minutes.”

 

"Cool, those twelve minutes I can cuddle you on the pretense that it's a little cold outside," Cas quipped as he pulled Dean closer.

 

He wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and chuckled. As he stared down into impossibly blue eyes, that still shone blue in the dark of night, he shook his head in awe. “You’re really fucking pretty, Cas.”

 

Cas responded with a soft smile. "I'm glad you like what you see."

 

“Yeah, I really do.” Dean swiped Cas’s bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. “Didn’t think they made nerds your level of sexy.”

 

Cas's eyes fluttered closed for a moment before he breathed out, "You'd be surprised." He playfully nipped at Dean's finger.

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t believe you.”

 

"Doesn't matter. I want to be the only nerd you think is hot," he flirted back.

 

“Don’t worry, you are. Unless Chris Hemsworth in glasses in the new _Ghostbusters_ counts as nerdy. Then just you and him.”

 

"He doesn't count," Cas hastily replied with a grin.

 

Dean smiled. “Then I guess it’s just you, Kitten.”

 

Cas made a purring noise and nudged his nose playfully against his cheek. “Good,” he murmured and Dean could practically feel the smile against his skin.

 

The urge to tilt his head and kiss Cas was overwhelming, but he really didn’t want to be rejected again, so Dean decided he’d let Cas make the first move. He carded his hand through that mess of hair and sighed contentedly. “It’s weird, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna miss the hell out of you.”

 

“I would be heartbroken if it was just me missing you.” Cas hummed quietly, closing his eyes.

 

Dean smiled down at him, nodding as he cupped Cas’s cheek. “So, did you get your art from Meg yet?”

 

"Yeah, picked it up from her workshop yesterday. It's up in my apartment all wrapped up." He gave him a soft smile. "I hope Sammy will like it."

 

“I’m sure he will and if he doesn’t, tell him to send it to my Sammy.”

 

"It's so weird that we both call our brothers Sammy." Cas chuckled.

 

Dean shrugged. “We could always differentiate by referring to them as thing one and thing two?”

 

“Who would be one though?” Cas chuckled.

 

“Which one’s older? My Sammy’s thirty six.”

 

"Samandriel is thirty three." Cas shrugged. "Guess he’s thing two then."

 

Dean chuckled. “Alright. And you’re the Cat in the Hat,” he said with a wink.

 

Cas gave him a pointed look. "I have to ask. What features of mine remind you of a cat?"

 

“Your clingy cuddles,” he returned without missing a beat.

 

"I see." Cas pursed his lips and looked down. "I guess I have to live with that. Not giving up on the clingy cuddling."

 

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “It’s not an insult.”

 

Cas smirked up at him. "I'm pretty sure you’ll upgrade me from kitty to tiger if we get to know each other a little bit better." He waggled his eyebrows.

 

“How about a compromise? What about Tigger?”

 

"I can't jump up and down on my tail though." Cas chuckled.

 

Dean let out an exaggerated sigh. “Then I don’t know if we can stay friends. I need my friends to be able to be bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, _and_ pouncy.”

 

Cas started to bounce on his feet, laughing. "Like this?"

 

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. He could very easily see himself falling in love with this man. He stilled Cas’s bouncing and stepped closer. “So what are you gonna do without me fucking up my computer for over a week?”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose and looked up at the night sky. "I will lean back and enjoy ice cream on the clock. Kevin and I will have a long debate over the complicated relationship between Link and Zelda and we will invent a new program to take over the world. It's all planned."

 

Dean smirked. “Link and Zelda? Is that your weird Harry Potter thing too?”

 

Cas stared at him with wide eyes. “Please tell me you’re kidding right now.”

 

“Sure?” he offered with an unconvincing shrug.

 

Cas groaned and shook his head, looking at the sky as if he was sending a silent prayer. “You’ve never heard of Zelda?”

 

“Should I have?”

 

“My heart is bleeding all over the floor right now.” He shook his head. “When you’re back, I’ll force you to have a gaming night with me.”

 

Dean quirked his brow at him incredulously. “You mean like Scrabble and Monopoly, right?”

 

"Stop torturing me, Dean. It's not nice." He chuckled, he carded his fingers through Dean's hair. "I know you had a childhood and know video games."

 

He chuckled and shrugged in surrender. “Fine, you got me. I know Zelda. But I was more into Sega games than Nintendo as a kid.”

 

"I have the first Sonic game." He waggled his eyebrows. "Got an old Sega Genesis."

 

“If game night involves that, then done.”

 

"Perfect," Cas breathed out and Dean could feel the tension rising between them as they stared at each other.

 

Dean offered him a small smile, he could feel the draw, the way he was getting sucked into Cas’s gravitational force. As he unwittingly seemed to get closer and closer, a horn honked and they both turned in surprise. It was his Lyft.

 

He waved to the driver and turned back to Cas with an apologetic smile. “I leave early Sunday, but I’ll feed her in the morning if you can make it to my place by the afternoon, she’ll be good.”

 

"Of course," Cas gave him a sad smile, letting go of Dean. "I will miss you."

 

“Me, too. But you promised me funny pics and if you’re good, maybe I’ll send you some in return.”

 

“I’m always good.” He winked.

 

Dean chuckled and chucked his chin. “I know you are.”

 

Cas leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Travel safely, Dean."

 

He smiled and grabbed his hand, pressing a kiss to the top of it. “Have a better rest of your weekend.”

 

Cas gave him a half smile and nodded before opening the car door for him. "Sleep well," he whispered.

 

As Dean moved to get into the car and closed the door behind him, the entire trip back to his place all he kept thinking was:

 

_Damn it, I should’ve kissed him._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 

Four days without Dean and he was missing him like crazy. The few text messages they sent each other throughout the day just wasn't enough. At least Baby was keeping him entertained and outdoors, on long dog walks where he started to get to know Dean's neighborhood.

 

He had started to cuddle with Baby on Dean’s couch every evening and tonight wasn’t an exception. “You’re missing him too, hm?” He murmured as he pet Baby between the ears. “I know what we’ll do.”

 

He grabbed his phone from his back pocket and took a funny looking selfie of both of them cuddling on the couch. He sent it to Dean, writing,

 

_ Cas: You’re missing in this picture. _

 

After a few minutes, he heard the tell-tale ping of Dean’s response. He sent a selfie of himself pouting.

 

_ Dean: And this is how I feel about that. _

 

"Look, it's your daddy." Cas showed Baby the photo, but she just huffed deeply and put her snout down on his chest. "Yeah I know. He looks sad."

 

_ Cas: Can I call you? Miss your voice. _

 

It was pretty straight forward, but at this point he already felt like they were in a weird kind of relationship.

 

Instead of getting a text in response, his phone started buzzing. Dean was calling him.

 

He smiled and his heart stumbled a beat when he answered it. Dean made him feel like a teenage girl with a crush. "Hey, stranger," he greeted after clearing his throat, trying to sound more manly.

 

“Damn, I almost forgot how sexy your voice is.”

 

"Then it's good I remind you from time to time." He smiled and started to pet Baby again. "How are you?"

 

Dean sighed and said, “I’m okay. I’m thinking less and less escaping Seattle was what I should’ve done. But seeing my brother and niece and nephew is worth missing you and Baby, but only a little.” He chuckled.

 

Cas couldn't help but mirror the chuckle. "Well, they could visit you the next time, then you wouldn't have to leave."

 

“Or I could bring you with me.”

 

Cas's heartbeat skipped again and his cheeks started to hurt from the way he was grinning. "That would work as well. At least for me. Baby is crying now. I hope you know that."

 

“Put me on speaker.”

 

Cas chuckled and put Dean on speaker. "I did," he replied before he imitated a dog crying sound, whispering, "no one loves me. My ears are hanging down and no one thinks I'm cute. What a harsh world."

 

Dean chuckled and murmured, “Dork,” before he took a deep breath and said in an exaggerated and excited tone, “Who’s Daddy’s good girl? Who’s my Baby?”

 

Baby jumped up and barked, wagging her tail in excitement.

 

"Ouch, ouch, ahhh," Cas cried out, laughing when Baby jumped on his stomach and legs in excitement. "Dean she was lying on top of me! That was not nice."

 

Dean barked out a laugh and said a firm, “Baby, down.”

 

Ever the obedient thing, she immediately went back to laying against him. 

 

“Better?” Dean asked.

 

"Yes," Cas breathed out. It would have sounded manlier if Baby hadn’t clocked him in the nuts. "Would be even better if you were here on top of me."

 

That was met with a gravelly chuckle. “Knockin’ the wind out of you?”

 

“That and other things," he replied with a soft sigh. "Damn it's boring here without you."

 

“Muppets aren’t as fun this week?” He could practically hear Dean’s smirk.

 

"I'm still down one muppet and work has been kicking my ass. I miss your funny support emails and Kevin thought I was crazy and possessed when I mentioned it." Cas sighed deeply.

 

Dean chuckled and said, “Well, I could try to send myself some viruses to my work email and then you’ll have your work cut out for you when I get back?”

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head. "If you do that, I’ll come over to California and kick your ass personally." Of course it wasn't possible for Dean to do anything like that, but he didn't need to know.

 

“And the incentive to  _ not _ do that is?”

 

Cas chuckled and bit his lower lip before he answered, "The incentive is if you behave, I'll do something nice to your ass instead of kicking it."

 

“Like get it nice and stretched for your cock?”

 

Dean's words immediately jump started his cock. He cursed under his breath and nodded, although Dean couldn't see it. "Yeah, something like that. Maybe with my tongue and my fingers. What do you think?"

 

Dean let out a slight shaky exhale. “I could definitely work with that.”

 

“Are you alone right now?” The question was out of his mouth before he could think. Like so often.

 

“Yeah, they took the kids to a water park, wanted to give them some family time.”

 

"Good, um..." He sat up on the couch to get Baby off of him. She jumped off the couch to go to her water bowl as Cas settled back against the armrest. "Do you, um, want to tell me what else you could work with?"

 

Dean chuckled. “You want our first time to be phone sex?”

 

Cas grinned before he replied, "Isn't that the right order? Phone sex, first kiss, wild office sex?"

 

“Sounds good to me. So, wanna go full on cliche and ask me what I’m wearing, or can we shake things up a bit?”

 

"I'm all ears." He refrained from making a fist pump. Barely. "What's on your mind?"

 

Dean chuckled. “Well, we can rile each other up first. Talk about the kinkiest thing we’ve ever done?”

 

"The kinkiest thing," Cas replied thoughtfully. He had done a lot of kinky shit in his life. "Alright, the kinkiest thing I have ever done was going to a sex party with a playdate and we had a foursome. I fucked my man while he was fucking this girl. And the girl was licking her girlfriend's pussy. That night was better than porn."

 

There was a beat of silence and a soft exhale. “Damn. That’s actually really hot. I want more details on that later. For me? The kinkiest thing I’ve done? I jerked off a boyfriend while we were on Splash Mountain for Grad Night. He came as the picture was being taken down the waterfall and we got kicked out of Disneyland.” He chuckled, clearly remembering the experience fondly.

 

Cas couldn't help but burst into laughter. "You got kicked out of Disneyland?"

 

“Yeah,” Dean said with a laugh, “all the people on the ride got to go on it again without waiting in line because we ‘ruined the picture with our depravity’.” Cas could hear the air quotes.

 

"Did Mickey Mouse kick your ass?" He couldn't stop laughing. That wasn't exactly a kinky story but _ oh man _ , so Dean though.

 

“I’ll have you know, he gave me his number,” Dean said in a hoity toity tone of voice.

 

“Mickey Mouse gave you his number?” Cas asked, trying to stifle his laughter.

 

Dean chuckled. “Nah. But it sounds good, doesn’t it? Got hit on by Betelgeuse when we went to Universal Studios though.”

 

Cas started laughing again. "Uh, fuck, that would have made for a kinky story. Once I was fucked by a guy I called three times in front of a mirror."

 

“Doesn’t have to be in front of a mirror, I just have to say his name wherever I am and boom, creepy dirty ghost at my beck and call.”

 

"Creepy." Cas chuckled. "Very creepy. I think I would have prefered the giant mouse. Whatever that may say about me."

 

“Kinky,” Dean purred.

 

"I'm totally blowing the telephone sex thing because now I want to know which Disney character you would want to get fucked by."

 

“Easy. Gaston. Hands down. And you?”

 

"I would totally fuck Flynn Ryder from  _ Tangled,"  _ Cas admitted with a grin before he asked, "Seriously? Gaston? Do you have a weakness for strong men?"

 

Dean chuckled. “Flynn’s a good choice. And not particularly, but the dude can lift a bench of ladies, you know he’d be able to manhandle me just right.”

 

"I can't lift a bench of ladies, but I'm pretty sure I can manhandle you if you want that. Holding you up while fucking you against a wall for example. That's probably one of my favorite positions for sex," Cas replied, rubbing his hand over his pants as he felt his erection growing hard again. Picturing him having sex with Dean pretty much guaranteed an instant boner. 

 

That was met with a soft groan. “Mmm, yeah. And fucking with clothes still mostly on, because you just couldn’t wait to get your cock in my ass.”

 

Now they were talking. Cas quickly opened the button and the zipper of his jeans before he slipped his hand in his pants and started to stroke himself. "Yeah, when you give me the go, that is what's going to happen, Dean. We can do the whole slow and naked thing another time. But our first time... will be messy, hard, and probably quick."

 

“Yes,” Dean hissed, “needy and fast, ‘cause we’ve basically been teasing each other for weeks. I’m half tempted to come prepped next time we hang out, because I’m gonna need that cock pretty damn fast.”

 

Cas groaned deeply before he growled. "Do it. I probably won't have enough patience to do it properly if you get too needy. Do you have a plug? Keep you nice and open for me?"

 

“Oh, yeah. A vibrating one, so I’ll be nice and needy for you,” Dean breathed out in a soft groan.

 

"Fuck," Cas cursed under his breath when his cock twitched with envious interest. "Fuck, I can't wait to see your hole plugged with that thing, playing with it just to tease you." 

 

Dean groaned again, he could hear the way his breathing was a little ragged. “It’s been so long, you better not tease me too long, or I’ll probably come before you even think about ramming your cock in my tight ass.”

 

"You really think I could hold back for too long? I’ve needed my cock in your ass for weeks now." Cas groaned again. "Can't wait to fuck you hard and deep, feeling your tight hole sucking me in like a needy little slut." 

 

“Fuck, Cas. This dildo ain’t cuttin’ it,” he whined.

 

The thought of Dean using a dildo on himself nearly made him come. "Fuck, baby. Fuck yourself harder with it. Get it in really deep. How big is it?"

 

He could hear Dean’s breathing hitch and a groan from movement. “It’s one of those nine inch ones, with the suction cups… gimme a sec…” There was some rustling and after about a minute, Dean came back on the line. “You’ll see…”

 

After a beat Cas’s phone vibrated with a text notification. Dean had taken a selfie of the dildo, clearly planted on the hardwood floor and about halfway in his ass.

 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Cas cursed as he stroked himself faster, quickly holding the phone against his ear again, so he wouldn't come from that image. "Baby, you have no idea how fucking much I want to trade places with that toy."

 

“Want it to be you. So fucking bad,” Dean groaned out, he could hear the breathy pants from Dean clearly riding the dildo even harder and faster.

 

"I would fill you so much better, baby," Cas groaned as he picked up the pace, stroking himself harder. He squeezed his cock, pretending he was fucking Dean's tight ass. "That toy would just be the foreplay to get you ready for me. Fuck, I would love to watch you fuck yourself on that thing before I finally had enough. And then I would push you over and fuck you so hard and deep, just like you need it." He knew he wasn't very eloquent anymore, but Dean just robbed his ability to think.

 

“Fuck, Cas… fuck, fuck… I’m so fucking close.”

 

"Fuck, me too. I just want to come in your ass so badly," he gasped out before he added, "watch you come on my cock."

 

Dean cried out Cas’s name, breath coming out in ragged pants. “Fuck…”

 

Cas groaned out Dean's name as he came all over his stomach, glad that he had pushed his t-shirt up in time. He knew he would never get enough of hearing Dean crying out his name like that. "Fuck, Dean..." 

 

That was met with a breathy chuckle. “Yeah. I can’t fucking wait to do that for real.”

 

"Me neither." Cas chuckled lowly trying to catch his breath. "Fuck, Dean you sound so perfect when you come."

 

“If you like how I sound, wait ‘til you see my face,” he murmured.

 

Cas hummed. "I also can't wait to feel you against me. To kiss you... hold you... everything."

 

“Fuck, that sounds so amazing right about now.”

 

Cas sighed and closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against his phone. "I really miss you. I wish I kissed you before you went on your trip." 

 

Dean let out a resigned half chuckle. “I was thinking the exact same thing. Uh… would… um…” It was kind of adorable how nervous the confident and suave Dean Winchester sounded post orgasm.

 

"Would I what, Dean?" He asked softly.

 

“Would you pick me up from the airport? I made arrangements with Benny, but… I want it to be you, but it’s the middle of a workday, I get in at two on Tuesday, so if you don’t want to I totally get–”

 

“Of course I want to,” he interrupted him. “I would love to. Every second I get to see you earlier is worth it.”

 

He could practically hear Dean’s smile with his exhale of relief. “Okay, okay good. I’ll text you my flight itinerary.”

 

“Only five more days without seeing you. I think I can do it if you send me more pictures... and text me every seven seconds."

 

Dean chuckled. “Every seven seconds, huh?”

 

“We can make it six seconds if you prefer,” He smiled, trying to get the package of tissues out of his back pocket to clean himself up.

 

“Dude, I don’t think I can text that fast, unless you want one word texts.”

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head as he slowly rubbed the come from his stomach with a tissue, scrunching up his nose with the sticky feeling on his skin. "I just miss you like crazy."

 

Dean sighed. “Me too. It’s so weird. I didn’t even know you existed two months ago.”

 

"You really got under my skin, Dean," Cas admitted quietly. "I never thought that would ever happen to me."

 

“Well, you weren’t part of my plans either,” he teased.

 

He took in a few calming breaths. "I, I... know it's a bad time for you to ask this... but are you considering trying again, with me? Like a real relationship?"

 

There was a beat of silence and a deep sigh before Dean finally responded, “It terrifies me, my brain always goes to the worst case scenario, and that’s when it’s not wrought with guilt for moving on after four years, but… Goddamnit, Cas. I’m tired of being fucking miserable and you’ve made me so fucking happy. So… I’m game if you are.”

 

The sound that escaped his lips was a mix of a happy laugh and a relieved sob as he nodded and answered, "Fuck, yes, I'm game. I'm so game, you have no idea."

 

“Awesome,” Dean breathed out, voice cracking slightly with his relieved laugh.

 

Cas chuckled, feeling so happy that he almost felt guilty about how good he was feeling. “Tell me something about your day? What have you been up to?”

 

Dean let out a contented sigh and a groan, having clearly dropped himself on a couch or something. “Mostly just been doing family stuff with Sammy, Eileen, and the terrors. It’s been nice. We went to San Francisco yesterday, did some touristy shit. Nowhere near as fun as the tour I took you on.”

 

“Tell me about the kids,” he asked leaning back against the pillow and closing his eyes, just enjoying listening to Dean’s voice.

 

“Well, Claire’s the oldest. Friggin’ firecracker and a smart mouth. She’s nine and I love how take charge she is. And Jack is her polar opposite. He’s seven and quiet, does whatever she tells him. And I love those rugrats just as much as I would have if they were actually blood related.”

 

“They aren't?” Cas asked curiously.

 

“Nope. Eileen was adopted so they chose to adopt instead of having their own. They got Claire when she was four and Jack when he was three.”

 

“Sam and Eileen sound like pretty awesome people.” Cas smiled drowsily, pressing his nose into the couch pillow, which smelled like Dean, but also like Baby, which wasn't that appealing.

 

“They are.” He chuckled and added, “And both those kids are better at sign language than I am. Claire has no problems rubbing it in my face.”

 

It hit Cas that he really knew nothing about Dean’s life. “Sign language?”

 

“Yeah. Eileen’s deaf, but a damn good lip reader so despite my lack of sign language skill (as Claire puts it), she and I have no communication issues. And Sammy is one lucky guy. You’d like her. She’s a tech nerd like you.”

 

“Cool, I can't wait to meet her.” He chuckled before he added, “And ask her what went wrong with you, being such an IT hazard.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Well, every time she tried to explain something to me, I pretended I couldn’t hear her.”

 

“I think you're still using that same technique with me.”

 

“Whatever works, right?”

 

“You’re infuriating.” Cas chuckled before he thought,  _ And I love you. _

 

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He waited for the panic attack, but somehow it never showed.

 

Dean laughed and he could practically hear the cocky smirk. “S’why you like me. Could you imagine how boring it’d be if we actually agreed on everything? Gross.”

 

“At least we can agree on who will get his tight, needy hole fucked if he gets his ass back to Seattle.”  _ Good, sex was a safe topic. No need to trigger a panic attack. _

 

“Damn, your recovery time is insane. I’m gonna have trouble walking after we fuck, aren’t I?”

 

“Yes.” Cas chuckled before he added, “And I’m planning to fuck you all day and throughout the night because we have a lot of catching up to do.”

 

“Think I can get through the TSA checkpoint with a vibrating buttplug?”

 

“Not if I was the TSA agent. I would totally pull you out for a private pat down.” Cas couldn’t help but imagine it. Standing in front of Dean, patting him down with some gloves before he pull him in for a kiss and turning him around to inspect his hole. 

 

Dean chuckled. “Sounds like bad porn.”

 

“Don’t ruin my fantasy, Dean. I was just inspecting your hole as a TSA agent in my mind.” He chuckled, loving the way they were flirting.  _ Love.  _ There it was again.

 

“Then I promise, the second we get to a place with a semblance of privacy, you can inspect my hole all you want.”

 

“Ugh, is it really five days? Can’t we just skip a few days ahead?” Cas asked in a slightly petulant tone.

 

“I promise, it’ll be worth the wait.” After a beat, Dean said, “Also, I have a dinner date with Crowley and Bobby on Friday when I get back. Would you go with me?”

 

Cas's heart skipped a beat again. "Of course," he replied a little breathlessly. He wasn’t brave enough to ask Dean if he would introduce him as his boyfriend. 

 

“Awesome. They wouldn’t shut up about you last time, so now you get to deal with it.”

 

He remembered that they had tried to pressure Dean into a relationship and suddenly Cas felt slightly uncomfortable. "What do you want to tell them about us?"

 

Dean chuckled. “A part of me really wants to fuck with them, flirt with you and be all handsy and both of us insisting we’re just friends, but I’ll probably end up caving and telling them the truth.”

 

The truth. Because the truth was that they were so much more than just friends who wanted to fuck each other senseless. "I'm down if you want to fuck with them," Cas replied and he hated that he heard the slight tremble in his voice. 

 

“Well, we can always play it by ear. Maybe I’ll just tell them you’re my baby daddy.”

 

“Oh, now we have a kid together?” Cas chuckled.

 

“Considering I heard you conspire with Baby to keep her…”

 

"Oh, yeah, Baby and I are thick as thieves. When you come back she won't know you anymore and will only listen to me." He tried an evil laugh, but was failing miserably. "Try to pretend I did an evil laugh."

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “Damn, you’re cute.”

 

“ _ You’ _ re cute,” he shot back, rolling his eyes with a grin. 

 

“Then it’s decided. We’re both cute.”

 

“I’ll take that,” Cas replied before his gaze fell on the clock. Fuck, it was late. Did he really just talk to Dean for over two hours? The only problem was that he didn’t want to stop. “Damn, I wish you were with me right now.” 

 

Dean sighed. “Me too. Fuck, I miss you.”

 

"It's worse at night... when I should sleep and there is this empty spot right next to me that I think you should fill," he admitted quietly.

 

“Fuck, I haven’t slept in the same bed with another human in… years.”

 

“Not even with an alien?” Cas teased him.

 

Dean chuckled. “We’re as bad as each other. Any time either of us gets serious, we deflect with humor. It’s like it was fate.”

 

Cas chewed his lower lip, closing his eyes for a moment. It really felt like fate. "Yeah, who knew I needed someone who didn't want a relationship too in his life to finally want a relationship again. That's so... odd. How did that even happen?"

 

Dean sighed dramatically. “It was my hot ass wasn’t it?”

 

"Ooohh, that makes sense," Cas replied equally dramatically, although he messed it up with a chuckle at the end.

 

“Good to know my boyfriend knows his priorities.” Dean gasped. “Shit. I didn’t even… is that too fast?”

 

“Fuck, I hope not. I mean, I'd love to be your boyfriend, though, if I'm honest… fuck, it still scares the crap out of me and I might freak out, but I… I really want that, Dean.”  _ Yeah, that all came out in a single breath without even thinking once. _

 

“Thank fuck. And same, Cas. I’m terrified, but… you make me want to try again.”

 

“I think the fact that you're scared as well kind of calms me down,” Cas explained thoughtfully. “Like I know you wouldn't judge me when I get a sudden panic attack. You just get me.”

 

“And you won’t judge me when I freak out, get stupid drunk and act like a jackass.”

 

“Damn. You have no idea how hard it was to turn you down. But yeah I get it… I would never judge you and if you need a break or to go slower, I want you to tell me. I will understand.”

 

“Same here. I’m willing to put in the work so we make it the long haul.”

 

"Yeah," Cas breathed out. "Wow, long haul would be really nice."

 

Dean sighed contentedly. There was some commotion in the background and Dean groaned. “Everyone’s home. I should probably let you go. But maybe we can have another phone date tomorrow?”

 

"Yes, definitely. I l-" He stopped himself. He had been so close to saying that he loved Dean. Fuck, he really should consult his brain before he spoke. “I’ll hear you tomorrow, sleep well, Dean.”  _ Saved it. _

 

“You too, Kitten. I fucking can’t wait to see you.”

 

"Ditto," Cas breathed out before he quickly ended the call, so he wouldn’t say anything else embarrassing. Fuck, he was so screwed.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

He hadn’t seen Inias in days because he was actively avoiding having the “break up” conversation. He had no idea why it even felt like a break up. They had never been serious and he had made it clear from the start that it never would be.

 

But he was also aware that he had given Inias mixed signals and now he felt like an asshole. So he stopped working a little earlier the next day and went over to the coffee shop, knowing that Inias would be off soon.

 

He waved at him as he entered the coffee shop, noticing that he was just packing up his messenger bag. "Hey, Nias."

 

Inias smiled brightly. “Hey, Cas. Getting another fix?”

 

"Um, no." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm here to see you. Do you have a few minutes?"

 

“Sure,” he said with an eyebrow waggle. “Your place, since you’re closer?”

 

Cas sighed deeply and shook his head. "Have you already eaten?"

 

Inias tightened the strap on his shoulder, his brow furrowed. “What are you doing?”

 

"I'm trying to have a conversation with you?" 

 

Inias rolled his eyes and nodded for Cas to follow him out of the shop. The second they got outside, he shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you seriously trying to pull a break up move on a one night stand with benefits?”

 

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes. "Are you seriously giving me shit that I feel bad about breaking this up between us?"

 

“So you are?” Inias scoffed and waved him off. “Save your breath. I got the message.”

 

"Inias." Cas rubbed his hand over his face. "Please... Don't be like this."

 

Inias's lip trembled and he angrily wiped away a solitary tear. “So stupid. I’m such an idiot. You always told me what this was. And that’s why it fucking sucks that you made me think there might be something more between us from the way you acted, even though you told me over and over. So, no. Fuck you, Castiel. Next time you tell someone you want a no strings situation, leave it at that.”

 

_ Fuck. _ Inias really had feelings for him. It was exactly what he had been afraid of.  "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Nias. I never wanted to give you that impression. And the last thing I wanted was to hurt you in any way."

 

“Save it. You warned me and I should’ve known better. But for someone who’s so fucking terrified of relationships, you sure seem to like acting like you’re in one. Maybe the problem isn’t your hangups. Maybe I’m just not the person you want to start a relationship with and if that’s the case, just man up and say that.”

 

Cas shook his head before he replied without thinking, "It's not because of you. I actually thought about asking you out for a hot minute, but then I... met someone else and I fell for him..."  _ Oh man,  _ he felt like the biggest asshole on the planet. He was just making it worse.

 

Inias let out a mirthless laugh and moved passed Cas. “Have a nice life.”

 

_ Fuck. _ "Nias please." Cas wrapped his hand around his wrist to hold him back. "Why can't you get that I really fucking like you? I'm not here because I don't want you in my life anymore. Fuck..."

 

He pulled his hand back and stepped away from him. “Tell me, Cas. What’s my favorite movie?”

 

Cas shook his head. "I don't know. I know you like  _ Deadpool _ and want to bone Ryan Reynolds. And I know that you have a brother and that you get sidetracked when you talk on the phone with him. I know that you like hard cider and chinese food from the place just around the corner from your place. And I know there is a shit ton of stuff that I don't know about you, but that doesn't mean I don't want to."

 

“And let me ask you, if this guy you fell for decided to break things off with you, but still wanted to be friends?”

 

"Well, I'm already friends with him so of course I would want to keep him as a friend. It would suck... but my friendship with him is more important than the relationship," Cas explained to Inias, hoping to get through to him.

 

Inias sighed and shook his head. “You hurt me and I know you didn’t mean to, but it hurts. This hurts. And the worst part is I want to. But I don’t know if I want to because you’re a fun guy, or because I’ll be secretly hoping to get you to love me back. And I shouldn’t be around that.”

 

Cas felt himself choking up. This was like his worst nightmare coming true. He just froze and didn't know what to do. Yet again he had hurt someone. Like he always did. "I… I'm so sorry," he whispered.

 

“I know you are. And that’s what sucks. So… Give me time. If I decide to give this friendship thing of yours a chance, I’ll text you.”

 

Cas nodded slowly. He couldn’t look at Inias, afraid of just crumbling and doing something stupid. “Okay.”

 

“Okay. Bye, Cas.” Inias appeared to wait for a few seconds before he sighed and started walking to the bus stop.

 

Cas didn’t know how long he stood there, paralyzed. Caught between a moment of stunned emotional silence and being on the verge of tears. 

 

And then he started walking to the nearest liquor store, buying two bottles of whiskey and a bottle of scotch.

 

He didn't recall the way home, just that he carried the bottles inside his bedroom and started to drink from the first one. 

 

_ Dean: Since you keep sending me cute pictures of you and Baby, I figured you deserved one of me and the rugrats. _

 

Dean had sent him a few selfies with a petite little blonde girl and an adorable brown haired boy. In all of the pictures they were making funny faces.

 

And then the tears started falling. He sobbed and drank more from the bottle.

 

Dean deserved fucking more than him. He was just a fuck up, hurting everyone close to him. And the last thing Dean needed was another failed relationship. 

 

He felt dizzy and sick as the bottle was suddenly more than half empty. Cas stumbled to the bathroom, vomiting half in the toilet and half next to it. 

 

He blacked out for a moment before he noticed he was in front of his bed his phone in his hand. He couldn’t see the display anymore.

 

The phone started vibrating. Someone was calling him.

 

He wasn't sure if he answered it when his head hit the bed frame. "’Lo?"

 

“Cas?”  _ Shit.  _ It was Sammy.

 

"Sammmmy, hey." And then he broke down, sobbing because everything was just too much.

 

“Cas? Hey, hey… what’s going on?” 

 

He had no idea how many words came through between sobs and slurring, his tongue too heavy, thoughts too scrambled and not enough air to breathe. “M n’asshole. Hurt everyone.”

 

There was a deep sigh before Sam said, “So hurting yourself is better?” He didn’t sound angry, or accusatory. He sounded sad.

 

“Just want to die,” Cas mumbled before he tried to get up. “Forgot to feed Baby. Have to go.”

 

“Cas! Please don’t go anywhere. Please?” Sam urged, his voice a little shaky.

 

“Sammy, have to. Promised Dean,” Cas slurred back, hitting his head on the bed frame again with a groan. Why was he still on the floor?

 

“Can somebody help you? Damn it, I wish we were there or you were here. You can’t go anywhere. You barely sound conscious.”

 

“I have trouble getting up,” Cas huffed before he started crying again. “Fuck, Dean deserves better than me. I promised him and now I can’t even do this one thing right.”

 

“Cas? What are you talking about?”

 

“Dean… Dean Winchester. I told you about him. He and I wanted to try this whole relationship thing and I can't… I shouldn’t. He’s already been through so much and I'm just a screw up. Can't even feed his dog.” He started to sob again when he thought of Baby waiting for him to be fed.

 

“Oh, Cas,” Sam murmured, his own voice a little choked up, “is there no one you can call to help you? I’d be there in no time if I could.”

 

“I'm alone. Dean is in California. I don’t know who I should call,” Cas murmured trying to get up again, but he was just so busy and moving made him feel sick again.

 

“Can you call Dean? He might be able to have someone check on his dog?”

 

He had no idea why the option of calling Dean on one hand was everything he was longing for and on the other hand was everything he dreaded. But this was about Baby and even if everything was falling apart, he still couldn’t fail his responsibility to Dean’s dog. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “I can try that. I'm sorry for… doing this again to you, Sammy.”

 

“I love you, Castiel. I just want you to take better care of yourself. Call Dean and then please call me in the morning, so I know you’re okay.”

 

Cas didn’t even know if he wanted to still be alive the next morning. Of course he didn’t say that. So he just nodded and tried to give him a neutral answer. “Okay. I – I love you, Sammy.”

 

“Good. And I talked to Gabriel. He’s agreed to us flying out to come see you.”

 

“Good, yeah. Um, not sure it's a good time at the moment, but I’ll tell you when… I feel better.”

 

“Okay, Cas. Please take care of yourself.”

 

“Yeah,” Cas replied simply and hung up. He felt weirdly calm and empty now. He knew that feeling too well. He had been in this state often enough to recognize the signs. This was the moment he either called for help or he would die.

 

The phone felt heavy in his hand as he leaned his head back against his bed, wondering what to do. A voice urging him to call Dean. To do what his brother had told him. The voice was using every trick, every argument. _ You have to. You owe it to Sammy. He needs you to function. Because it’s your fault.  _ And that’s where he spiraled again because Sammy didn’t need him. Not really. All he did was make things worse for him. It would be better if he wasn’t in his life anymore. 

 

Dean definitely wouldn’t need him. He was already dealing with the loss of his fiancé. The last thing he needed was a fuck up like Cas who would ruin his life by offing himself. That was when the voice piped in again,  _ Exactly, he already likes you, so pick up the fucking phone. _

 

Before he could think about it he picked up the phone and pressed Dean’s number. A tear running down his cheek as he tried to calm down his breathing. He had done it. Now Dean just needed to pick up.

 

“Hey, Kitten.”

 

Cas sobbed in relief when he heard Dean’s voice, “I fucked up, Dean. I need your help.” 

 

“Shit, what’s wrong?” Dean asked, voice incredibly concerned. 

 

Cas had difficulties breathing as he replied, "I... hit a real low... like really low... and I drank too much and I... can't go over to Baby and feed her."

 

Dean sighed in relief. “Fuck, is that all? You had me thinking you were calling to tell me she got hurt or something. Okay… okay, what’s going on? What can I do for you right now?”

 

"I... I don't know. I'm afraid I might kill myself. I really don't feel well, Dean," Cas sobbed out.

 

“Shit. Okay… okay. If I order you a Lyft to my place, will you take it? You don’t have to worry about feeding Baby, but… please… for me. Will you go stay at my place with her tonight?”

 

"I already tried to get up. I hit my head on the bed three times and I have no idea how I even did that." He tried to think about it, but it didn't make any sense.

 

“Okay. Do me a favor. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. When you open them, tell me where you are.”

 

Cas closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. When he opened them he saw parts of his bed frame above him. "I'm lying partially under my bed it seems." Now it made sense why getting up had been a problem.

 

“Okay, carefully, very carefully slide out from under the bed and slowly sit up.”

 

Cas groaned as he rolled to the side and tried to get away from under his bed. When he sat up again he instantly felt sick, but not sick enough to vomit again. "I'm up!" He announced which was a mistake because that was all it took for him to vomit on the floor. "Uh, fuck," he coughed, trying to turn away with a groan. 

 

“Okay. I’m giving you one of two choices right now. If you don’t want to go to my place that’s fine, but I need to know you’re gonna be okay and you sound awful. So, Lyft to my place or ambulance ride to the hospital. Which one?”

 

“What about Baby?” Cas groaned out, leaning against his bed.

 

“Don’t worry about her. I’m worried about you, Kitten.”

 

"I worry about her," Cas replied huskily. "She's my responsibility as long as you're gone. I promised you."

 

“Then will you please take a Lyft to my place? Bring a plastic bag with you in case you throw up, it’s a seven minute drive and you’ll be with her.”

 

"Yeah, I can do that," Cas promised drowsily. "I can totally do that."

 

Dean sighed in relief. “Okay, I’ve set up a driver to pick you up in seven minutes. His name’s Fashoud and he’s driving a white VW passat.”

 

"Okay," Cas replied slowly, wondering when Dean had ordered that car and how he knew the driver’s name. His inner voice was rolling his eyes at him and he wasn't sure if he should be offended that there was a part of him mocking himself. "I’ll try to get downstairs in one piece."

 

“I’m staying on the phone with you, so I know you get to my place safely.” There was some shuffling in the background before he heard Dean grunt slightly. “Okay, do you have any mints?”

 

"Jacket pocket somewhere," he slurred as he more or less crawled to the living room to look for his jacket. There were keys in his pocket. Keys were important when leaving the house. So he had those. Check. He went to the other pocket and found a mint. That could have been in his pocket for quite some time now. "Found one."

 

“Okay. Do you have any bottles of water?”

 

“You ask a lot of questions, Dean.” Cas squinted his eyes at the kitchen counter. There was a water bottle. “Yes.”

 

Dean chuckled and said, “I know. Just humor me please. So put the mint in your mouth and slowly sip the water. It’ll help with the nausea.”

 

"You sound like you speak from es-s-sperience." Fuck that word. Cas pressed his phone between his ear and shoulder and tried to fiddle open the wrapper of the stupid mint, that wasn't holding still. 

 

“I am. Now does your building have an elevator?”

 

Cas finally popped that mint into his mouth before grabbing the water bottle and taking a careful sip. His throat burned slightly. He sighed and grabbed his jacket. "Yeah." He had never used the elevator of this building before. He prefered stairs. But he realized stairs might not be his friend in this situation. 

 

So he left his apartment and stumbled into the elevator that  –  for some reason  – was already on his floor when he got there. Weird. He couldn't remember pressing any buttons. The elevator also wasn't moving. Again because he didn't press any buttons. "Buttons," he mumbled, "buttons. What a weird word." He hit all the buttons to light them up with a chuckle.

 

“Cas? Are you okay?” Dean asked.

 

"Yeah. Just got in the elevator and I'm on my way down." Cas squinted at the buttons. After going up, the elevator then stopped at every level on the way down and Cas felt a new wave of sickness every time the elevator stopped.

 

“Okay. How are you feeling?”

 

That was a loaded question. "I don't know. I feel... weird. Empty," Cas admitted quietly.

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

"I... I broke up with Nias," Cas sighed deeply. "It was a fucking nightmare and I just... it just pushed me into a depression. I'm not the most stable person, Dean..."

 

“That’s okay, I’m sorry it fucked you up though. What about it? Do you just feel really bad?”

 

"I feel bad I hurt him so much... I feel bad that it always seems to end this way and it made me think... I really don't want to fuck up your life, Dean. I like you too much... You just deserve someone better." Cas knew he was crying again.  

 

Dean sighed. “Cas, don’t I deserve someone that makes me happy?”

 

Cas wiped away his tears. "Of course you do... but you can find someone who is better than me. Who isn't such a fuck up."

 

“Cas… If you don’t want to give us a shot, that’s one thing and I’ll respect it, but the fact of the matter is you’re the only person who’s made me happy since I buried my fiancé, and I don’t care if it’s selfish, but I’m not giving that up.”

 

Cas sobbed out again and shook his head. "I don't want to give you up either. But I'm so terrified... of hurting you."

 

“How about this? You get to my place. Crawl into my bed with Baby, sleep on your side, and in the morning, when you’re awake and sober, we’ll discuss this. I’m not letting you try to break up with me before we’ve even gone on a date while you’re shitfaced.”

 

Cas sniffed and nodded. "I can do that..." He squinted his eyes at his reflection in the elevator. "I have a side on your bed already?"

 

Dean chuckled and said, “I meant sleep on the side of your body, not on your back. But yeah. Right side is yours.”

 

Cas smiled and stumbled out of the elevator when it reached the bottom. "I like that. I'm down now."

 

“Good. I’d like to stay on the phone with you until you reach my place, so I know you got there safely. How’s the battery on your phone?”

 

Cas pulled the phone away from his face to look at before he drew it to his face again. "Eighty-seven percent."

 

“Okay, good. Is Fashoud there yet?”

 

A white car slowly made its way around the car. It looked like a VW. "I think he is just arriving." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I miss you. I'm sorry for being so stupid."

 

“Don’t be sorry. Shit happens and that’s the thing about caring about other people. It doesn’t stop when they fuck up. And I miss you too.”

 

"I just wanted to show you that you can rely on me and then I go and do this... I thought I would be better. I haven't had a depression like this is in years." The car stopped and the driver asked if he was Cas Novak. Cas nodded and carefully got in the car. "In the car now. Hello, Fashoud."

 

Fashoud reached his hand to Cas in an offer of a shake. “Hello. Would you like a water?” he offered a small bottle he pulled from a cooler in the backseat.

 

He shook his head with a shaky smile. "I just stopped feeling sick. Don't want to jinx it."

 

“Okay, well, let me know if you need me to stop.” Fashoud proceeded to carefully pull out and start the drive to Dean’s place.

 

He could hear Dean mumbling something in the background, likely talking to his brother. After a few minutes of that, Dean came back on the line. “Sorry, that was Sammy.”

 

"Is everything okay?" he asked in a worried tone.

 

“Oh, yeah, he was just checking on me. How are you feelin’ now?”

 

“Better,” Cas admitted quietly. “It’s nice to hear your voice.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, I miss you.”

 

“Miss you too. I’m thinking of you all the time."

 

“So am I. It’s kinda crazy.”

 

"You make me feel like a schoolgirl with a crush. It's embarrassing." He chuckled.

 

“Well, damnit, now I’m gonna imagine you in a Catholic school girl’s outfit.”

 

Cas chuckled. "Pervert." He felt tired, but Dean's voice was so incredibly soothing that he just couldn't get enough of it.

 

“Said the man who told me all the different ways he plans on opening me up and fucking my brains out. You love it and you know it.”

 

"I would love to see  _ you _ in a dress... or underwear," Cas corrected with a smirk. 

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “I know.”

 

“I still have no idea if you have this collection,” he hummed, hoping Fashoud wasn’t paying attention to their conversation.

 

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, huh?”

 

“You can’t even give me a hint?” He asked with a pout.

 

“Would you rather have a hint or see it with your own eyes?”

 

"Ugh both?" He suggested with a chuckle. "Why is both never an option?"

 

Dean chuckled. “We’ll see.”

 

“You’re a tease, Dean Winchester,” Cas replied with a chuckle. His heart slowly feeling lighter again.

 

“And you’re an awesome, sexy, IT elf.”

 

He smiled at that and closed his eyes for a moment. “Four days seem like an eternity, Dean,” Cas sighed deeply before he added, “But I promise I’ll try to do better.”

 

“Do or do not, there is no try.” He could practically hear Dean’s cocky smirk.

 

"You're right... Man, I suck... You still have time to change your mind about me, Dean." He was only half joking.

 

“Not a chance in Hell.”

 

“You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” Cas replied with a soft smile.

 

“We’re here, Mr. Novak,” Fashoud announced as he parked in front of Dean’s building.

 

“Thank you, Fashoud. Sorry for the weird… everything.” 

 

He chuckled and waved him off. “I’ve had worse passengers. Have a good night.”

 

Cas tipped Fashoud probably very graciously if his expression was anything to go by before he more or less stumbled out of the car. He didn't expect the driver to get out and help him to the door, he even offered to help him up to the apartment, but Cas assured him gratefully that he would manage. He took the elevator up before he remembered that Dean was still on the phone. He quickly held it to his ear again. "Dean, I'm at your place now, just taking the elevator up."

 

Dean chuckled. “Good. Want me to stay on the line until you get into bed. I could sing you a lullaby?”

 

"Yeah, at least until I feed Baby. Make sure I'm not stumbling over her or whatever."

 

“Don’t worry about feeding her. She’ll be okay. Just get into bed.”

 

"Well, I worry. She doesn't need to be hungry just ‘cause I drank too much. I wouldn't be able to sleep," Cas explained finally at Dean's door, opening it.

 

Baby immediately darted for Cas, she jumped up and licked his face. He dropped his phone and pet Baby, apologizing to her before he went over to the kitchen to refill her bowl with fresh water and fill her bowl with food. 

 

He felt much better now. He wanted to tell Dean, but his phone wasn't in his hand anymore. After a few moments of searching he found it on the floor. "Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone. Hello?"

 

Dean laughed softly. “It’s okay. How’s my baby?”

 

"She is wagging her tail and eating. I think she is okay." Cas sat down on the couch and toed his shoes off. "She was happy to see me."

 

“Of course. She loves you. She told me.” 

 

“Oh, she calls you too and talks for hours on the phone?"

 

“Almost as much as you do,” he teased. 

 

"Well, duh," Cas replied, biting his lip before he could say,  _ Because I love you, too. _

 

Dean chuckled. “Gettin’ that sass back. You must be feelin’ better.”

 

"Yeah, thank you," Cas walked over to Dean’s bedroom as he opened his jeans. "Hearing your voice... seriously helped. Thank you for being there, Dean."

 

“Of course. I’m just glad you called me.”

 

“I’m glad I called you too.” More than glad. Cas sighed as he sat down on Dean’s bed in just his boxer shorts before he laid down. “I’m in your bed now,” he whispered tiredly.

 

“Good. So… any requests? Besides me naked.”

 

“Just beside me would be okay, too,” Cas replied softly into the pillow.

 

Dean chuckled. “I meant for your lullaby.”

 

“Do you know any Beatles songs?” Cas asked with a smile.

 

“Oh, Kitten, you’re in luck.” After a beat, Dean softly started singing,  _ “There are places I remember, all my life though some have changed, some forever not for better, some have gone and some remain, all these places have their moments, with lovers and friends I still can recall, some are dead and some are living, in my life, I’ve loved them all…” _

 

He didn't get the rest of it, because he was slowly drifting to sleep.

 

He startled awake with a massive headache when Baby jumped off the bed and started barking. He blinked his eyes open at the neon number of the clock on Dean's night table, noticing that it was three in the morning. “The fuck," he mumbled before he froze when he heard someone shushing Baby.

 

Cas sat up, blinking against the dim light from the hallway. "Baby?" 

 

Suddenly the door opened and the light showed Dean stepping into the bedroom. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I didn’t want to wake you.”

 

"Dean?" Cas gasped out. His feet carrying him over before he even realized he was getting up. "What?" That was all he managed to ask before he pulled Dean in for a tight hug. "You're here."

 

“Yeah, I was needed here more,” he said against the crown of his head.

 

He pulled Dean tighter. "I can't believe you came back... just for me." Cas swallowed dryly, pressing his face against Dean's throat.

 

“I was homesick,” Dean said, but Cas knew he was lying.

 

"That's the first time I heard about that." He chuckled weakly before he leaned back and touched Dean's face. "Welcome home, Dean."

 

And without missing a beat, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Cas’s lips. Dean drew back, cupping Cas’s face as he looked at him in amazement. “I know it’s not the passionate, clothes ripping off reunion either of us imagined, but I’m just glad you’re okay. You really scared me, Cas.”

 

"I'm sorry," Cas replied softly. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

 

“Hey, you called me. Which is what you promised me you would do. As far as I’m concerned, you have nothing to apologize for.” 

 

"You're too nice. Gabriel would have my ass any time I called him like that. Maybe not in that moment, but definitely later."

 

Dean shook his head. “Not too nice. Just pretty enamored with you, so my feelings for you trump everything else.”

 

Cas pulled him closer. "Enamored, huh?" He tried to hide his yawn, but it was too late. "Sorry."

 

“Come on, let’s get you into bed,” he murmured fondly as he nudged Cas with his hip.

 

Cas groaned. "I've longed to hear that sentence in a very different context. But what's another day?"

 

Dean sweeped Cas into his arms and carried him to the bed. “I promise, after you get up in the morning and I take you to go eat the greasiest, most hangover friendly breakfast ever, and you’ve gotten your rest, we’ll make good on all of those fantasies.”

 

Cas hated being carried, but he let it slide because he was too tired and too happy to see Dean. "Sounds like a perfect plan. I especially like the part that you didn't mention. You lying in my arms and waking up next to me."

 

“Definitely. Baby and I will arm wrestle who gets which side of you,” he teased as he laid Cas on the bed. “But first, I’m gonna walk Baby real quick, okay?”

 

Cas nodded and smirked. "Baby only has paws, so I bet you cheat at arm wrestling."

 

“You can’t prove that,” he teased as he leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead. “Get rest, Kitten.”

 

"I will... now that you here." Cas gave him a smile before he closed his eyes again. Already dreaming about tomorrow.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 

When Dean got the call the night before, he’d been utterly terrified. The thought that the guy he had feelings for, the man he was very likely falling in love with, was on the verge of hurting himself. On the anniversary of his fiancé’s death, it scared the ever loving shit out of Dean. The second Cas said he might kill himself, Dean grabbed his brother’s laptop and immediately changed his flight back to Seattle to the next available flight.

 

And more than just that terrifying thought, he had lost the last man he loved and never stayed on the phone with him. Dean was never going to do that again, so he thankfully was able to keep Cas on the line while packing his bag and writing a note for the kids. They were already asleep and he felt bad for leaving the way he was, but he’d spent the whole week telling all of them how amazing Cas was and… well… he knew they’d understand. Sam was incredibly understanding and had helped him pack while he kept Cas on the phone before he took Dean to the airport.

 

They’d had a pretty real conversation, one that ended with Sam demanding meeting Cas as soon as they had time to visit. Dean promised him, because he wanted that. More than he thought possible.

 

Thankfully there hadn’t been any delays and the plane got a good tailwind, so the flight was actually twenty minutes shorter than usual. By the time he got upstairs to his apartment, his heart in his chest, a million different worse case scenarios running in his head, he almost collapsed in relief when he heard Cas call for Baby. When Dean walked in, seeing him in his bed, he knew then and there that he’d made the right decision. Not just in coming home early, but in giving Cas a chance. Yeah, they might both be a little broken, but maybe they were broken pieces that fit together and made each other whole. Made a new, in tact puzzle.

 

Dean woke up that morning and Cas was curled up with Baby, who apparently won the arm wrestling, and he stared down at them in amazement. Yeah. He was in love with this man. He carefully crept out of the bed, planning on making some coffee, maybe breakfast in bed for him with a side of aspirin for his hangover. Just as he pulled on his robe, there was a weird buzzing noise coming from somewhere on the floor. He bent down to see what it was and he found a phone.

 

Cas’s phone. Professor X was calling. And apparently there were seven missed calls from him. Cas looked so peaceful and he hated to wake him, but clearly this person needed to get ahold of him for some reason. Dean answered the phone as he quietly stepped out of the room. “Hello?”

 

"Cas?" The voice belonged to a worried sounding young man, "Um, who are you?"

 

“Cas is sleeping. I’m Dean…” Suddenly it hit him. “Is this Sammy? Or does he actually know a powerful mutant?”

 

"Yes, I'm Sammy. Cas's brother. Oh, you're Dean. Dean Winchester?" 

 

Dean couldn’t help but smile at that. “He’s talked about me?”

 

"You're all he talks about," Sammy replied and he could hear the smile in his voice before he got serious again. "How is he? He wasn't feeling well yesterday."

 

“He’s okay, he’s sleeping, spooning my lab,” Dean said with a chuckle. He didn’t want to go into too much detail. He didn’t know how much Cas’s brother knew and he wasn’t going to violate Cas’s privacy. 

 

Sammy exhaled deeply. "Oh, good. I don't know how much he told you, but he can reach some pretty scary lows. I hate that I'm so far away and couldn't help him last night. I'm glad he called you. Wait… I thought you were in California."

 

Dean was relieved Sammy apparently knew. “I was. When he called me and told me how low he was, I changed my flight to come back last night.”

 

Sammy was quiet for a moment before he asked, "Wow, so you guys are really serious? This isn't just a one-sided Cas anomaly."

 

“New, but yeah. I really care about your brother.” It was freeing to say it out loud.

 

"I'm glad to hear that. He hadn't been interested in a relationship in years. I want him to find some happiness, just for once."

 

Dean smiled again as he started making some coffee. “I hope I can help him with that.”

 

Sammy chuckled. "You must be. Never heard him talking about someone like this before. I heard he even unpacked. That definitely has never happened before."

 

Dean laughed too. “Well, in his defense this time, if he chose not to, he did have a damn cool fort.”

 

"He sent me pictures! I'm so envious of this Fort!" Sammy laughed before he added. "I want to visit him soon. I hope I can meet you then."

 

“I’d like that. Kinda want to meet the infamous brother I’ve heard so much about.”

 

For a moment Sammy didn't reply before he breathed out, "So he really talked about me?"

 

Dean chuckled as he braced the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he started getting stuff out off the fridge for breakfast. “Yeah, quite a bit. He, uh… He also told me about the accident.”

 

"Oh, wow..." Sammy was quiet for a moment. "He is really serious about you."

 

“Man, I hope so.”

 

"He never talks about me to anyone he gets to know. If he didn’t trust you and didn’t want you in his future for real, he wouldn't have," Sammy explained calmly.

 

Dean had hoped. Hoped Cas sharing that part of his life with him was meaningful, meant something much more. On a molecular level. But hearing it be confirmed… Dean shook his head in amazement. “I really fucking like him.” Love, really. But… Cas deserved to hear that before anyone else.

 

Sammy chuckled again. “Cool. He sent me a few photos of your trip through Seattle. I hope I can see that gum wall when I come visit.”

 

“Definitely. We can check out the pinball museum here too. All the games are free, just have to pay admission, plus they serve booze.”

 

“I'm not allowed to drink alcohol with my medication and I seriously think Cas should stop drinking too,” Sammy replied before he stuttered, “I'm sorry, I didn't want to be rude.”

 

“No. I get it. If that’s something he wants to do for himself, I’ll support him.” And Dean meant that. 

 

“I know it doesn't make much sense as long as he doesn't see it, but... he always does crazy stupid shit when he's drunk and I'm just worried about him.” Sammy inhaled deeply. “On the other hand, I don’t see him very often so he might have gotten better with it.”

 

Dean sighed and leaned against the counter. “I can’t say, but… If it makes you feel better, I’m here for him.”

 

“It does,” Sammy replied before he laughed, “I mean you flew in from California to be with him. When he wakes up, tell him the school for gifted kids called and he is suspended for a week.”

 

Dean chuckled. “You got it, X. Take care and I look forward to meeting you in person.”

 

Sammy chuckled. “Ditto and thank you, Dean. Take care.”

 

When he hung up the phone, the coffee had finished brewing and Dean poured Cas a cup, just how he liked it. Dean couldn’t help but smile over the conversation. And that guilt lessened and lessened. It was… it was refreshing. 

 

He made his way back to the bedroom, two cups of coffee in hand. When he got there, Baby’s tail started wagging and she wiggled away from Cas. Dean whistled for her to get off of the bed and as she did, he sat down on the side Cas was facing. He placed the mugs on the nightstand and carded his hand through Cas’s hair.

 

Cas hummed and his nose twitched. He mumbled something that sounded like, ”Cofean.”

 

“You wanting coffee or a Dean, Kitten? ‘Cause I brought you both.”

 

Cas blinked up at him. “I want to say both, but I need that coffee first and then to brush my teeth and have a shower. Because you deserve more than my crappy morning breath of alcoholic escapades.”

 

Dean chuckled and leaned in to kiss his lips. He drew back with a smirk. “Sorry, now that I get to do that, I’m gonna do it, drunk dragon breath or not.”

 

Cas quickly kissed him back with a smirk before he grabbed his cup and took a careful sip, closing his eyes with a moan. “You always make it perfect.”

 

“It’s a gift,” he quipped.

 

“It really is,” Cas agreed before he pushed himself up. “Give me a few minutes in the bathroom. I feel disgusted with myself.”

 

Dean nodded and moved to lay on the bed, patting for Baby to jump up with him. She did and curled up near his stomach.

 

“You look pretty sexy like that,” Cas commented as he slid from the bed and walked to the door, giving him a wink before leaving the room.

 

Dean sighed and looked at Baby. “He’s the sexy one.”

 

Baby yawned and rested her head on his stomach. Dean chuckled and stroked her neck as he waited for Cas to come back.

 

When Cas finally reappeared, he looked a lot more awake then before. His hair was still a mess, but in a very sexy way, as he walked up to Dean like a panther on a hunt, his eyes never leaving Dean’s. Dean’s heart skipped a beat when Cas slid over him on the bed and drew him into a kiss. A  _ real _ kiss. 

 

And after so many weeks of teasing and fantasies, Dean almost whimpered at the contact. As he relaxed and let Cas in, his head swam with just how damn perfect it was. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and just got lost in one of the hottest damn kisses he’d ever experienced.

 

Cas pressed his forehead against Dean's, breathing hard when he whispered against Dean's lips, "Fuck, that was about damn time."

 

“Why the fuck are you stopping?” Dean demanded as he yanked Cas back, colliding in a desperate, needy frenzy of lips and tongue. Cas was a damn good kisser and Dean was kicking himself for not giving in sooner.

 

Cas’s hand slid down Dean's throat in a way that was almost possessive before sliding over his chest and down to his stomach. He cupped Dean’s cock over the fabric of his boxer shorts and started to stroke him.

 

That’s when things turned frantic. Dean bucked up into Cas’s hand, unable to hold back the needy whimper. Without missing a beat, he was slipping out of his robe and pulling his underwear down, barely ever breaking contact. And he groaned when the wish to have had the chance to prep made him cling to Cas’s arms in desperation.

 

Cas growled as his fingers found Dean's ass and fingered his hole. "Lube?" he asked breathlessly against his lips.

 

“Nightstand drawer,” he groaned out.

 

Cas reached over to the drawer, his other hand rubbing roughly over Dean's lips with his thumb as he grabbed the lube. When he sat back he grabbed Dean's knees with both hands and pushed his legs forward, to get to Dean’s ass, sliding his hands down to it to spread his ass cheeks. “Fuck,” he murmured before he leaned down and started to roughly lick into him.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Dean cried as he tried to fuck himself on that skillful tongue. 

 

Cas exchanged his tongue for wet fingers, circling and massaging his rim before he pushed one finger inside. To his surprise Cas found his prostate immediately and started to tease as he worked a second finger inside. His other hand slid over Dean’s erection before Cas quickly pushed down his boxer shorts. His cock was huge. “Condom, Dean?”

 

Dean groaned and nodded to the nightstand. “Same drawer,” he gasped out. “Cas, you gotta get your dick in me soon, I’m not gonna last.”

 

"Working on it, Baby. Fuck, you're tight." Cas groaned as he pushed a third finger into Dean. He leaned over again to search for a condom with his other hand. 

 

When he found it he opened the wrapper carefully with his teeth and his free hand, so he wouldn't stop working Dean open, effortlessly sliding it on his cock with a deep moan. 

 

"This has to be enough," he growled as he put lube on the condom and spread it, before he pulled out his fingers and grabbed Dean's hips with both hands, pulling him close and lining himself up.

 

He leaned over and drew Dean into a heated kiss as he slowly sank into him.

 

Dean whimpered into the kiss as the sinful burning of pleasure slowly filled him. It had been too long. Way too long. “Fuck me, Cas, fuck my goddamn brains out,” he growled in a plea.

 

Cas leaned back with a wolfish grin as he grabbed Dean’s hips to pull him into a different angle. An angle that didn't just let him fuck Dean deeper, but also brought maddening pressure to his prostate. And then he picked up the pace, fucking him in fast and hard thrusts. “Fuck, Dean. You're so tight.”

 

With a shaky moan, Dean planted his feet against the mattress as he started undulating his hips, essentially taking charge as he frantically started fucking himself on Cas’s cock. “Oh, fuck, fuck. Cas, Cas!”

 

“Dean,” Cas groaned out as he upped his pace again, reaching out to Dean cock to stroke it in time with his thrusts.

 

It was all he needed. Dean cried out Cas’s name, hips shuddering with each pulse of his orgasm. Dean swore his vision whited out it was so intense. In that truly pleasurable way. So much so his bliss was just that few seconds longer before his over sensitive prostate woke up and the thrusts were that delicious cross of over pleasure and pain. “Please, Cas!”

 

“M’close, baby,” Cas groaned out, fucking him harder before he finally pressed in deep with Dean’s name on his lips. It was probably the sexiest thing Dean had ever seen. 

 

When Cas’s hips stilled, Dean let out a deep exhale, contented sigh really. “Goddamn.”

 

Cas chuckled and pulled out of him to get rid of the condom before he slid over Dean to pull him into a deep kiss. “Fuck, that was a million times better than in my imagination.”

 

Dean let out a breathy laugh as he nodded. “So much better. I’m guessin’ asking if you’re feeling better would be pointless?”

 

Cas gave him a bright smile and kissed him again. “So much fucking better. You have no idea.”

 

Dean smiled and closed his eyes in contentment. “I’m glad.”

 

“I could call in sick so we could spend all day in bed?” Cas suggested, trailing lazy kisses over Dean’s throat and collarbone.

 

“As a director, the asshole boss in me wants to chastise you for such a thought, and the needy bottom in me is wondering just how quickly you’ll get hard again,” he growled in Cas’s ear.

 

“Damn, I'm glad you're not my boss.” He chuckled before he grabbed Dean’s hips and turned him around on the bed, sliding his semi over Dean’s ass. “Just thinking of fucking into your needy hole again makes me hard,” he growled into Dean’s ear.

 

Dean groaned and murmured, “Let me drink coffee or eat something. Need the energy, Kitten.”

 

Cas softly bit Dean's neck. "You don't need energy. You could just lay here and enjoy getting fucked." He pulled back and turned Dean around with a smile. "If you're hungry that's a good reason to stop though."

 

He smirked and said, “Didn’t someone whine about not getting both a few hours ago?”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow with a playfully innocent smile. "Who would do that?"

 

Dean purposely clenched his cheeks around Cas’s softening cock. “Gee, I wonder.”

 

Cas let out a soft moan before he drew him into a kiss again. “Okay breakfast and then straight back to bed.”

 

“Deal. Still need greasy breakfast or are you well enough for egg white omelettes?”

 

“I actually feel better than I thought I would,” Cas stated, sounding surprised.

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Good. Then healthy breakfast it is.”

 

“Are you really making breakfast for me?” Cas asked with a smirk.

 

“That’s what I was trying to do before I was waylaid with getting, well… laid.”

 

“Yeah, I’m not sorry, though.” Cas smirked at him before he froze. “Fuck, I didn’t call my brother.”

 

Dean gave him a sheepish smile. “He knows you’re okay.”

 

“How do you know?” Cas asked slowly.

 

“Your phone kept ringing and I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry.” Dean hadn’t even thought about how Cas would feel about Dean doing that.

 

“You talked to Sammy?” Cas didn’t seem to be angry, just surprised before he asked, “Did he tell you embarrassing stories about me?”

 

“Damn it! I didn’t even think to ask,” Dean complained as he grabbed a baby wipe from the drawer to start cleaning himself up.

 

“What did he say?” Dean could hear the slight insecurity in Cas’s voice, although he tried his best to hide it. 

 

Dean grinned mischievously. “Only that I’m all you talk about.”

 

Cas rubbed his hand over his face, obviously embarrassed. He cleared his throat. “Well, duh. You’re all I’m thinking about.”

 

His grin turned into an outright smile. Dean leaned up to press a kiss to his nose. “Join the club.”

 

Cas grabbed Dean's wrist and helped him up from the bed, pulling him close as soon they were standing and into a soft kiss. "Feels like a dream that you're back and I can finally kiss you."

 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and sighed contentedly. “It is a dream. I’m sure of it.”

 

"We should really eat some breakfast before I get super embarrassingly mushy."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Come on. I’ll put you to work since you called in.”

 

Cas raised his finger and excused himself for a moment, looking for his phone. "Let me quickly get this over with and then I’ll join you in the kitchen.”

 

“Okay, would you like another coffee?”

 

"Yeah, sure. Have you seen my phone?" Cas murmured as he bent over to look through his jeans, that were still on the floor in front of the bed.

 

Dean scrubbed his hand over his face. “Shit, I think I left it in the kitchen.”

 

Cas chuckled as he walked passed him. "If we continue like this my stuff will be all over your apartment at some point. Already have my toothbrush in your bathroom, my clothes in your bedroom. And now my phone is in your kitchen." He smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "Your Baby already loves me."

 

“You can bring more stuff if you want? I mean, I’m assuming sleepovers are gonna be a thing for us now?”

 

"That wouldn't freak you out?" Cas asked carefully, picking up his phone from the kitchen counter.

 

Dean shrugged as he started grabbing a frying pan and a cutting board. “I don’t want to say it wouldn’t, on the off chance I do have a freak out later, but considering finding you asleep in my bed was one of the best feelings I’ve felt in a long time… no. I don’t think it would.”

 

"Good." He gave him a soft smile before he walked over to press a kiss to his cheek. "If that changes and you need me to back off, just tell me, baby." 

 

“That goes both ways, Cas. I know this is just as scary to you as it is to me.” 

 

Cas slid his hand over his cheek before he admitted softly, "After last night, it’s gotten a lot less scary."

 

Dean turned into his embrace, wrapping his arms around Cas’s neck as he braced his forehead against Cas’s. “I care about you, Cas. More than I thought possible.”

 

"Good," Cas breathed out. "Would have been awkward if that was one-sided." He kissed Dean's forehead and gave him a soft smile. "I'll be right back."

 

Cas left the kitchen to go back into the bedroom for his call, only leaving Dean for a few minutes before he returned. "Done. Now we can spend all our time in bed."  

 

Dean chuckled. “I’m not in my twenties any more, Kitten, need some food first.” He winked as he started cutting up some onion, bell peppers, cucumber, and mushrooms for the egg white scrambles he planned on making them.

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him and kissed the back of neck. "What can I do to help?"

 

“Wanna separate the yolks from the whites?” Dean asked as he relaxed against Cas for a moment.

 

Cas nuzzled his nose against Dean's neck. "Sure."

 

“If you do it right, I’ll reward you with a blow job,” he teased.

 

Cas chuckled as he grabbed a bowl, expertly separating the eggs. He waggled his eyebrows at Dean. "Tell me you're impressed and didn't expect that from a guy who can't even make coffee." 

 

Dean nodded in acquiescence, chuckling a little. “I genuinely thought you’d have no idea what I was asking you to do. But I planned on blowing you either way, so…”

 

"Gabriel loves baking and this was the only thing he taught me in the kitchen." Cas gave him a grin. "I set the microwave on fire two times, and one time I melted plastic on the stove. I was banned from the kitchen after that."

 

Dean stared at him, completely straight face and used his cutting knife to point to the door. “Out of my kitchen.”

 

Cas gave him a puppy eyed look. "I could still help you. Like massaging your shoulders?"

 

“No stove and no microwave,” he warned, but he was pretty sure his smile was giving him away.

 

"Sir, yes, Sir." He saluted before he added, "You have the knife, you make the rules."

 

Dean waggled his eyebrows. “Feel free to keep calling me, ‘Sir.’”

 

"I'm starting to get the feeling you would like to dominate me." Cas squinted his eyes at him.

 

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. “I promise you, Kitten. In the bedroom, you’re in charge.”

 

Cas obviously tried to hide it, but Dean noticed that he looked relieved at that. "Cool."

 

“But I’ll definitely push your buttons.” Dean blew him a kiss as he winked.

 

"I've noticed." Cas licked over his own lips as he wrapped his arms around Dean's side. "I just haven't figured out yet if you want to be tamed or if you just like being pushy."

 

Dean shrugged noncommittally. “Only one way to find out.”

 

Cas gave him a pointed look. "I just don't want to do anything with you that you don't like."

 

“Bodily fluids that aren’t saliva or semen are a no go. Nothing with animals or kids. Outside of that? I’m always open to experimenting.” Dean smirked, but he was being completely honest. He’d try anything that wasn’t on his Hell No List once.

 

"Damn it. Now I have to cancel the goat," Cas replied with a smirk before he leaned in to pepper kisses behind Dean's ear. "We're going to have so much fun."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Oh, I know. Considering you were half hung over and neither of us were really conscious, that was some of the best fucking sex I’ve ever had.” He ignored the pang of guilt that accompanied that confession, because it was the truth. 

 

"Just wait until we're both energized and awake," Cas replied with a smirk, sliding his fingers under Dean's shirt to massage his back.

 

Dean groaned. He’d almost forgotten how good Cas was at massages. “Can I just kidnap you to be my personal masseuse?”

 

"If you ask your victim for consent, you're kidnapping wrong, Dean," Cas replied huskily, massaging Dean's shoulders now.

 

Dean dropped the knife and turned in Cas’s embrace to pull him into a frantic kiss, wrapping his arms around Cas’s neck as he pulled him flush.

 

Cas returned the kiss eagerly, sliding his hands down to grab him, before he pulled him up into his arms, his fingers digging into Dean's ass to hold him up. "Fuck, I love your ass," he growled.

 

He moaned as he undulated against Cas. “Prove it,” he growled.

 

He turned them around and sat Dean down on the table. He quickly grabbed the hem of Dean's shirt and pulled it over his head before he freed him from his underwear. For a moment Cas's eyes just wandered over Dean's naked body before he breathed out, "Fuck, you're sexy."

 

Dean moved to the edge of the table, hands braced behind him as his ass hung over the edge. “You’re the sexy one.” He arched up a little. “Grab the olive oil, I’m still pretty stretched.”

 

Cas pulled down his own boxer shorts and grabbed the olive oil to pour some in his hand, spreading it over his dick before he teased Dean's hole, circling it with the oil and pushing two fingers into Dean. He gripped his own shirt with his free hand and hastily pulled it off before he drew Dean into an open mouthed kiss, pushing a third finger into him. "You're still so tight, baby."

 

“I know a way to fix that,” he groaned as he started thrusting himself on Cas’s fingers.

 

Cas seemed to love how needy Dean was, leaning back slightly to clearly enjoy the show of his fingers going deep into Dean's ass. "Fuck, I love seeing you fuck yourself on my fingers. All needy to get filled."

 

“Cas, please!” Dean wasn’t much for begging, but Cas made him damn crazy.

 

"Please what?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, starting to finger fuck him harder, a fourth finger teasing his rim.

 

Dean braced one hand at the back of Cas’s neck and moaned out an ardent, “Fuck me, for the love of fucking god, get that perfect dick in my ass already!”

 

Cas licked over Dean's lips before he pulled out his fingers and teased Dean's hole with the head of his cock. "You're already gaping from my fingers." He pushed his cock into Dean, moaning before he grabbed him and pulled him up in his arms, pushing into Dean to the hilt with a deep groan. "Hold tight, I'm gonna fuck you against the wall."

 

Dean nodded, frantically clinging to Cas as he moaned outright. The fullness making him see stars.

 

Cas carried them over to the wall, pushing him against it as he started to fuck him hard and fast. "Fuck, you make me crazy, Dean."

 

Dean couldn’t hold back the desperate moans as Cas practically pummeled his prostate. “Oh, fuck yes!”

 

One of Cas's arms slid under Dean's leg to hold him higher, the angle let him fuck him deeper, but Dean could also feel Cas's finger playing teasingly with his balls. "I could listen to your pretty moans all day."

 

“Fuck, fuck, yes, oh, fuck me,” he groaned as he slammed his eyes shut, the pleasure consuming him.

 

"Are you going to come just on my cock?" Cas asked huskily.

 

Dean nodded frantically, already feeling the heat coiling in his groin. A couple more good strikes against his prostate and he would probably be crumbling in Cas’s arms. “Just don’t stop,” he begged.

 

"Never, Baby," Cas breathed out before he picked up his pace to fuck him harder and faster.

 

The stars friggin’ aligned and for the first time in years, Dean came untouched. He splattered their chests in hot, white streaks as his eyes practically rolled into the back of his head. “Oh, fuck…”

 

Cas gasped out Dean's name before he pushed in deep, filling him with hot, wet come. 

 

Dean yanked him into an all consuming kiss as he felt his body relax and melt into it. His breathing coming out in ragged pants as he held onto Cas, mesmerized by just how fucking good he was in the sack. “Goddamn,” he breathed out in an amazed chuckle.

 

When he pulled back to look at Cas, he noticed that he looked pale and tense. Clearly in shock, as he mumbled, "Fuck. Fuck, fuck."

 

And that’s when he felt it, come leaking from his hole.  _ Fuck!  _ They didn’t use a condom. Dean swallowed down the dread in his throat. “Shit.” Cas let him down and Dean shook his head in annoyance with himself. “Fuck, Cas.”

 

"I'm so fucking sorry, Dean," Cas stammered out.  “There is no excuse… I totally fucked up.”

 

“Hey, you aren’t alone. I got so immersed in the moment, I didn’t even think. But if it makes you feel better, I got tested a few months ago and I’m clean,” he said as he grabbed a paper towel and got it wet before he started cleaning Cas’s come from his hole. And damn it, that really shouldn’t have been so hot.

 

"I got tested three weeks ago. I'm clean too," Cas breathed out in relief, but he still looked somewhat pale. "This is actually the first time this has ever happened to me."

 

Dean chuckled in amazement. “Me, too. Hell, Aaron and I didn’t fuck bare until three or four months into our relationship.” Shit. Dean felt a wave of guilt again.

 

Cas stepped closer and pulled him into a hug. “This is fucking with you, isn't it?”

 

“I think I’m in love with you,” he blurted, unable to stop himself. Dean gasped and covered his mouth.  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! _

 

Cas stared at him, wrapping his hand around Dean’s wrist to pull his hand away from his mouth. “I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with you too, Dean.”

 

Dean let out a relieved, only mildly hysterical laugh before he murmured, “Thank fuck,” and yanked him into another kiss, a little less frantic, but just as passionate.

 

Cas kissed him back, cupping both of his cheeks before he drew back to look at him. “I never felt this way for anybody and it's pretty scary, but I know how this is probably just as fucking scary to you. So we’ll just take this slow until it stops being scary.”

 

Dean nodded against his hands. “And if it doesn’t stop being scary, we can just hide in your fort.”

 

“Who said a fort wouldn’t come in handy at some point?” Cas replied with a smile.

 

Dean chuckled and grabbed his underwear. “So, uh… no condoms then?”

 

Cas gave him a bright smile as he breathed out, "Yeah, if you want to... I mean."

 

“Well, seeing as we already did… yeah, I want to.” It was fast, it was a little crazy, and yet Dean was weirdly calm. Maybe the fallout would happen later. Maybe it was a distraction from what the week was. Maybe Dean had genuinely found someone to love again. Whatever the reason, he was more than ready to embrace the crazy.

 

Baby started whine-growling and he immediately felt like the worst pet parent ever. He grabbed her leash off of the side of the fridge. “Gotta walk her before she explodes,” he said sheepishly as she started dancing excitedly for Dean to put her leash on.

 

"How about I go with her and you have some breakfast?" Cas suggested grabbing his jeans from the floor and pulling them on.

 

“You gotta eat, too, Cas,” he argued as he disappeared into his bedroom and stepped out in jeans and a t-shirt about a minute later. “Do you want to come with me?”

 

"Okay, we’ll just walk her together." He pulled Dean into a soft kiss. "And then we’ll finally have our breakfast."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Then you and me? We’re only leaving the bed to piss and maybe eat.”

 

"Sounds perfect," Cas had the leash in his hand and called Baby over to the door. "We have a lot of catching up to do."

 

“Could always fuck while watching Dr. Sexy. Kill two birds with one stone,” Dean suggested as he grabbed his keys and opened the door for them.

 

"You're full of great ideas," Cas replied with a smirk. "We could do some kinky roleplay. You're Dr. Dan and I'm Dr. Sexy."

 

“Dr. Sexy’s the top my  _ ass!”  _ Dean argued as he followed them down the stairs.

 

"He wears cowboy boots. Doesn't that scream top to you?" Cas sighed with an eyeroll. "Okay, I confess my wish to fuck Dr. Dan might influence my view on that."

 

Dean chuckled and side stepped Cas to open the door for him and Baby. “Now that’s more accurate. You see how Dr. Sexy is with a chick, letting her take charge. No way he’s not the same with dudes. Besides, Dr. Dan has the dom eyebrow down.”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. "You mean like this?"

 

“Oh, yeah,” Dean purred as he wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and drew him in for a kiss. “Sexy as hell. First time you did that to me when you were bitching me out for whatever stupid computery thing, let’s just say it was a good thing I was sitting behind a desk.”

 

"Damn, that good to know," Cas replied huskily. "I think it's really hot when you get all needy for me."

 

Dean cupped Cas’s cock and growled in his ear, “You want me to beg, Kitten?”

 

Cas hummed and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close. "Hell yes."

 

“Beg you to please, please pound my tight, needy hole?” he whispered.

 

Cas pressed his eyes closed and nodded. "Oh, fuck, please stop, Dean. You're making me horny again and we wanted to walk Baby."

 

Dean nodded and licked a swipe up his ear. “Sorry, you turn me into a slutty cliche for some reason.”

 

"Don't be sorry. I'm seriously thrilled about this and as soon as we're done with breakfast, I'm gonna make good use of it," Cas replied before he pulled him into a kiss. A short one because Baby pulled him away. "Yeah, yeah." Cas chuckled. "Sorry, girl."

 

Dean chuckled and held Cas’s free hand as he guided him to a small grassy mini park about a block from where he lived. It was one of the reasons he’d moved to the complex, a nice little place to walk Baby. “I love being able to tease you again.”

 

"I love that it doesn't stay at teasing." Cas chuckled. "You have no idea how often I had a serious case of blue balls after spending the day with you."

 

“You at least had an outlet,” Dean countered, wincing slightly as he said it. Shit. Inias was probably a touchy subject for him.

 

Cas looked away with a grimace. "Yeah... Fuck."

 

“Sorry, Cas. I’m sorry it happened.”

 

"It's okay." He shook his head. "I should have listened to you when you told me that he might have feelings for me. I just wish I would have broken up with him sooner. Fuck, I'm so selfish sometimes."

 

Dean held his hand and squeezed. “Sometimes you gotta be selfish. It’s not something to berate yourself over.”

 

“I hate hurting people,” Cas breathed out. “More than anything.”

 

“Most people do, but the thing is, he’s only hurt because he developed feelings for you, because you’re a great person. It sucks, there’s no two ways about it, but… you didn’t do it intentionally.”

 

"I may not have done it intentionally, but I certainly didn’t do anything to prevent it and just risked it,” Cas replied angrily. Dean knew it wasn’t directed at him, but that Cas was angry with himself. “Inias told me I was giving him mixed signals. He got his hopes up because of my behavior.”

 

“Because of his interpretation of your behavior,” Dean corrected. “You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, Cas.”

 

"I’ve spent a long time working to perfect that feeling though," Cas joked lamely.

 

Dean smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll help you carry it then.”

 

Cas gave him a quick smile before he grabbed him and lifted him into his arms. "Not if I carry you first."

 

Baby started barking at Cas. Dean chuckled. “My dragon thinks you’re trying to steal her princess.”

 

"I am." He chuckled and waggled his eyebrows. "The dragon has to catch me first.”

 

Dean chuckled. “I promise, she can catch you.”

 

"Baby? Sit!" Cas commanded and Baby sat in front of them, happily looking up at them. "Good, girl." Cas gave Dean a smug grin. "Tamed your dragon. I got you, princess."

 

“My hero,” Dean sighed dramatically.

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. "Yeah, that wasn't very believable." He put Dean down again and shrugged. "But I’ll take it anyway."

 

Dean winked and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I love how easy it is between us.”

 

"Me too," Cas replied with a soft smile. "I never thought I would have a real relationship like this."

 

Without missing a beat he took Cas’s hand in his own, swinging it between them as they walked. “Hallmark: eat your heart out,” he teased.

 

Cas scrunched up his nose as he looked around the park. "In a Dr. Sexy Episode, this would be the moment one of us gets hit by a meteorite."

 

Dean chuckled. “And if this was  _ Hannibal,  _ this is when I’d tell you I’d kill for you and ask you to join me.”

 

"Murder husbands." Cas waggled his eyebrows. "I like that."

 

“Good to know you’ll jump off the cliff with me.”

 

Cas gave him a serious look. "I would." He looked away with a head shake. "Which is pretty weird, but fuck… I’ve never felt like this for anyone before."

 

Dean couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll try my best to not make you regret that.”

 

"I know you're worth any pain I might encounter in the future," Cas murmured before he looked up at him. "It's a calming thought, somehow."

 

“I hope the only pain I cause is my breaking my computer and you having to fix it.”

 

"Which would cause a lot of pain, but I would gladly take it just because I..." He smiled at Dean. "Because I love you."

 

Dean smiled, his heart friggin’ sighing. “Me too, Cas,” he said as he drew him close, “me too.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

The rest of Dean’s “vacation” had been spent primarily in Cas’s arms, or his bed. Or Dean’s bed. Or the kitchen floor, the balcony, the couch… Dean hadn’t felt this happy in years and never imagined he could be this happy after losing Aaron. But what was most surprising was how little guilt he felt about it. Maybe he really did just need to give himself a chance. Give love a second chance.

 

And he hadn’t regretted a single moment of it. Even coming back to work that following Thursday hadn’t killed Dean’s great mood. They even had a serious discussion about disclosing their relationship to HR, but since they were in two different departments, Andrea laughed and waved them off, wishing them luck.

 

It had been a whirlwind of happiness and the sky not falling. Because both of them were prepared for some sort of shoe to drop and crush their happy honeymoon phase bubble. But it wasn’t coming. Hell, Cas even heard from Inias, wanting to tentatively try and be friends. So next on the list was making it official with both of their families and doing the whole introduction thing. 

 

Dean was staring at his computer, wondering what he could do to sabotage it and bring his boyfriend up for a quick makeout session. He even tried googling it, but all he kept getting was how to fix a broken computer. At least, that’s what it read like. He didn’t really understand the techy mumbo jumbo. So he just started dragging random files to the recycle bin.

 

* * *

_To: ITS Service Request <itservice_request@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Missing Files_

 

_ Come work your magic, a bunch of files disappeared and I need them back ASAP! _

 

_Dean Winchester - M.B.A._   
_Marketing Director_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5309_   
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

The answer came pretty instantly. And it was equally short.

 

* * *

_To: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Fr: Castiel Novak <c.novak@smith-wesson.com>_   
_Subject: Re: Missing Files_

 

_ I’ll send someone up as soon as I can. _

 

_Castiel Novak_   
_IT Director | Sys Admin | IT-Administrator_   
_Smith & Wesson_   
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_   
_P. 222-555-5377_   
_F. 222-555-8777_

* * *

 

Dean nodded to the computer. Good, so Cas was going to make it look professional. He smiled to himself, imagining pulling Cas onto his lap, lazily making out while he pretended to fix Dean’s computer.

 

After ten minutes there was a knock at the door from a disgruntled looking redhead. Beaker. "I'm here to help you find your files."

 

He had to keep the disappointment from his face. And the panic. The whole thing was a ruse. But they probably all thought he was stupid enough to accidentally delete files and not realize it, so he pushed out from his desk and pointed to the computer. “Yeah, uh… some of my files from the desktop are gone.” Dean realized he was less shitty than he normally was with them and if it ruined his reputation as an asshole, he would blame Cas entirely for it.

 

Beaker gave him a surprised look as she carefully rounded the desk to look at his PC. "Were they already gone when you booted Windows?"

 

Dean sighed. He wasn’t going to be able to pull this off. “Actually, there’s nothing wrong. I was just trying to get Cas to come up here. I didn’t think he’d send you.”

 

"Seriously?" Charlie asked as she leaned back to look at him with wide eyes. "That is like the cutest thing I have ever heard."

 

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. “None of that. So, I guess I should stop wasting your time.”

 

Charlie chuckled and nodded. Before she left his office she turned around and replied, "He has a very good reason not to come up here. Just so you know." And with that she was gone.

 

What the hell did that mean? Dean didn’t like the dread that accompanied that question. He pulled out his cell phone and texted Cas.

 

_ Dean: Are you free for lunch? _

 

There was no reply for a very long time. It felt like an eternity.

 

_ Cas: I don't know yet. _

 

_ Dean: Can I kidnap you? _

 

After a long minute Cas replied,

 

_ Cas: Please. This is a cry for help. _

 

_ Dean: Everything okay, kitten? _

 

This time the reply was instant.

 

_ Cas: I'm failing at my own good intentions. Nothing to worry about. See you at lunch? _

 

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion, but accepted the answer for what it was. 

 

_ Dean: Looking forward to it. I’ll come get you around noon. _

 

There was no reply after that.

 

Dean sighed and sank against his chair, slowly dragging the deleted files from the recycle bin back to his desktop. He was half tempted to grab Cas now, but it wasn’t even eleven yet. So he proceeded to pretend to do some work.

 

And then he got hit with an actual call from a client, so Dean’s pretend work turned into real work. So much so he didn’t notice how the time went by. It was ten minutes to noon and he had spent the better part of an hour listening to Harvelle bark her orders at him. The woman sure knew how to emasculate a guy. 

 

Good thing he wasn’t fazed by shit like that. Dean grabbed his jacket and keys and decided to head down a little early to grab Cas.

 

When he arrived in the basement he heard Cas's voice through the open office door. It was weird, but he almost sounded angry. Dean thought he had never heard him angry before "... So I want you two working your asses off until this is over. The next one who slacks off will answer Dean Winchester's support mails for a week. Am I clear on that?"

 

_ Now hold on a goddamn minute.  _ Dean quirked his brow. He knocked on the open door as he revealed himself. “Howdy, elves.”

 

Cas visibly startled and gave his muppets a pointed look. "I'm off for a quick lunch. When I'm back, I want to see progress." He took in a deep breath before his muppets scurried away to work and Cas grabbed his jacket to walk up to Dean, kissing his cheek as he pulled on his jacket. "Hello, Dean."

 

Dean gently pushed Cas against the wall and quirked his brow. “So, uh… Is that why Beaker responded to my distress call?”

 

"You heard that, did you?" Cas asked sheepishly.

 

“So am I your muppets’ punishment?” Dean returned, bracing his hand next to Cas’s head on the wall as he leaned in.

 

"Yeah?" Cas shrugged, giving him a charming smile. "It works wonders."

 

Dean let out a soft, disbelieving huff of laughter. “You’re not even a little regretful are you?”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose. "Not really. Are you mad?"

 

“Nah, if you want, I can give them a real hard time next time.”

 

“You would do that?” Cas waggled his eyebrows before he leaned in for a soft kiss that quickly turned more heated. He hummed and leaned back with a groan. “Lunch. Don’t get distracted, Cas,” Cas chastised himself.

 

Dean chuckled. “Come on, Kitten. I’ll take you to that sandwich place that does gluten free baguettes.”

 

"I had no idea you had a problem with gluten." Cas replied in surprise as he took Dean's hand and started walking to the elevator.

 

Dean shrugged. “I don’t have an allergy, but carbs are my weakness and gluten free bread has less carbs.”

 

"Ah, that makes more sense." Cas nodded, his hand softly carding over Dean's ass when they got into the elevator.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he murmured as he tucked his fingers in the waistband of Cas’s jeans when the doors closed. 

 

"I've noticed a pattern in your eating habits. When we had pizza the night before, the next day you try to eat super healthy." Cas grinned and pulled him closer, kissing Dean's nose.

 

Dean chuckled and straightened his tie. “Hey, my physique attracts unsuspecting IT elves.”

 

Cas squinted his eyes at him. “I still don't know how I feel about the fact I'm either a kitty or an elf in your eyes. I thought fucking you against a wall would correct that view and I would climb up the ladder to at least be a tiger instead of a kitty.”

 

“It really kills you, huh? Maybe I should call you something ridiculously hallmark, like sugar pie, honey bunch, or you’re my sunshine,” Dean teased with a smirk.

 

“I could live with sunshine.” Cas shrugged.

 

Dean chuckled. “Alright, Sunshine,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms loosely around Cas’s neck. “You ready for dinner with Bobby and Fergie tonight?”

 

“Slightly nervous,” Cas replied with a charming smile and a hesitant look. 

 

“You should be. They’re actually evil creatures,” Dean teased, waggling his fingers at Cas before making ghost noises.

 

"Actually that would calm me down," Cas replied with a chuckle. "It's more the feeling of meeting a part of your family. Like officially. As your boyfriend."

 

Dean shrugged, unable to mask his smile. “They already think you’re my boyfriend. That’s never changed.”

 

Cas’s eyes widened comically. “I thought you had told them that we are just co-workers.”

 

“I did, they’re convinced we’ve been lying,” Dean said with a chuckle.

 

“Seriously?” Cas asked before he chuckled. “How the hell did they get that impression?”

 

Dean gave him an incredulous eyebrow quirk as they stepped out of the elevator. “Dude, I’m pretty sure everyone within a mile radius could feel the sexual tension.”

 

“Wouldn’t that be more proof of us not being in a relationship?” Cas replied thoughtfully.

 

“Point,” Dean acquiesced as they made their way to the parking garage. “Still though, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

 

"Are you sure?" Cas asked with a puppy eye look. "I'm a pretty weird guy and what if they think I'm not good enough for you?"

 

Dean chuckled and wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck to press him against the side of a random car. “Then awkward as shit Christmases and whatever other holidays. ‘Cause I’m bringing my weird boyfriend whether they like you or not.”

 

Cas gave him an almost shy smile, a smile Dean had seen before but was still rare on Cas's face. He suspected that Cas's cocky and sassy attitude was just a wall he had built around himself over time and those shy smiles showed a glimpse of who he really was. "Thank you, that was actually helpful for a change." And there was the sassiness back in place.

 

“I like what we have, Cas. And people don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t like. Not when it comes to this part of my life. Like choosing who I fall in love with again.”

 

Cas gave him a bright smile before he pulled him into a heated kiss. "I love when you say things like that," he murmured against Dean's lips.

 

Dean smiled and nodded before drawing him in for another kiss. “And you give me shit for liking shows like _Mad Men.”_

 

Cas rolled his eyes and slapped Dean's ass. "Come on, you need to feed your tiger. Rawr."

 

“You can’t get me to call you what you want. That’s not how nicknames work,” Dean challenged with a smirk as he waggled his eyebrows.

 

“I’m not giving up,” Cas challenged back.

 

Dean smirked. “Anything you say, Kitten.”

 

“I hate you,” Cas breathed out with an eye roll before he pulled him over to Dean’s car. 

 

Dean leaned in, a breath away from a kiss before he turned his face to press his cheek to Cas’s and whisper, “No. You don’t.”

 

"You're lucky I love you you and you're charming and cute, and sexy, and funny, and all," Cas murmured back before he kissed Dean's throat. "I'm so torn between food and taking you in your car." 

 

“How about a compromise? You drive and I’ll blow you,” Dean offered with a smirk.

 

Cas looked slightly pale at that suggestion. "Um, no... I think I would rather concentrate on driving."

 

_ Shit.  _ Dean never even thought of it like that. He visibly winced and sighed. “Sorry, Cas. I wasn’t thinking.”

 

Cas shook his head. "Yeah... um, it's okay."

 

“Now that I’ve killed the mood, let’s get to the sandwich place and you can contemplate whether or not you want to keep dating my inconsiderate ass.” 

 

Cas wrapped his arm around his shoulder and dropped a kiss on his nose. "I fear you won't get rid of me so easily."

 

Dean smiled softly and nodded. “Hop in, I’ll drive.”

 

Cas gave him another smile that didn't quite reach his eyes before he rounded the car and got in. He still seemed to be tense though he tried to downplay it.

 

“Talk to me,” Dean said softly as he started backing out.

 

Cas raised an eyebrow at him as he quickly looked over. “About what?”

 

“About the tenseness,” he clarified as he gave Cas an encouraging smile.

 

Cas looked surprised before he looked away from Dean. “It’s nothing you need to worry about. It will pass. Everytime I get reminded of the accident I feel… anxious and tense. Sometimes it’s worse than this. But it will always pass after a few minutes.”

 

Dean reached over and held Cas’s hand. “You’re allowed to feel your feelings, Cas. I won’t make you feel bad about it.”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile. “I know, that's why I'm telling you this. I trust you, Dean.” Cas shrugged and grinned. “Plus you’ve already seen me at my lowest point with depression. If that didn’t phase you why would a few more mental health issues be a problem?” There was a slight cynical tone in his voice and Dean noticed Cas was targeting himself. 

 

“Stop attacking my boyfriend. He deserves better treatment than that,” Dean chastised as he pulled Cas’s hand to his lips to press a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

 

Cas chuckled. “My princess in shining armor saves me from myself.” His face turned serious again before he added with a sigh, “Like I said. Don't worry. Those things come and go. It's just my brain being cross wired.”

 

Dean nodded and gave his hand a squeeze. “And like I said, that’s okay. Just don’t insult yourself for it. Because if it was someone else being a dick about you, I’d deck them. I love you, so I can’t deck you.”

 

Cas shook his head. “No one else. I never let anyone see this side of me. Except my family, but that wasn't on purpose.” He squeezed Dean’s hand back. “Over the years there was a part of me growing angry with myself because I felt so… oversensitive. I hate that certain things just affect me so much that I can't function anymore.”

 

“Dude, you’ve been through a hell of a lot. Shutting down is a normal human response. After Aaron, I was… I wasn’t okay. For a hot minute.” Dean sighed and shook his head. “I know you know all of this, I just wanted to make sure you knew I’m here if you ever need a soundboard, or someone to cuddle.”

 

Cas nodded slowly before he looked away again. “The same goes for you, Dean.”

 

Dean smiled. “I know, Kitten.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes, but Dean could see him smiling. “I thought you picked sunshine?”

 

“Technically  _ you _ did. Which, don’t get me wrong, I’ll call you that too, but I don’t know. Kitten has sentimental value. It’s the first pet name I gave you, even when we weren’t on the friendliest of terms.”

 

"Does Baby like cats?" Cas asked suddenly.

 

Dean nodded. “She does. I’m crazy allergic though, hence the lack of a feline friend for her.”

 

Cas gave him a sad look. "Ah, damn. There goes my dream to have a zoo of cats, becoming a YouTube millionaire by making funny cat videos."

 

Dean chuckled. “If you keep ‘em confined to one room and help me stock up on allergy meds, I’d be more than happy to make your dream to become a crazy cat lady… I mean,  _ YouTube star, _ a reality.”

 

Cas waved him off. "It's alright. I still have a backup plan. Are you allergic to bees?"

 

“No…” Dean said hesitantly. Maybe he should’ve lied and said he was. Fear of flying insects was a type of allergy, right?

 

Cas raised his eyebrow at him. "Are you one of those people who is afraid of every insect?"

 

“I don’t like bugs, why is that such a big deal? No bugs. And if it can fly and is smaller than a bird… fuck that shit.” Aaron had been his resident bug neutralizer, that had been one of his first moments of realization. The first time after Aaron had died and Dean saw a spider, it had been about two weeks and he called for Aaron on pure reflex. Dean didn’t remember much after that because he proceeded to drink himself into a stupor immediately after.

 

Cas gaped at him. "Even butterflies and bees? What about ladybugs?"

 

“All of it. Fuck ‘em all. No love for bugs, sorry if that’s a deal breaker,” Dean teased.

 

"It's not. At least now I can feel like a hero when I save you from them... or the other way around," Cas replied with a chuckle before he hummed. "So there goes my back up plan selling overpriced honey to hippies when I'm old. Guess I have to repair computers for the rest of my life. Ah, well."

 

Dean made an impressed face. “I didn’t realize it was to take advantage of hippies. Sold. You can have your bees, but they stay outside.”

 

Cas laughed at that. "I didn't plan to keep them indoors and cuddle with them on the bed."

 

“Well, you’re the weirdo who likes bees, how should I know you wouldn’t try that?”

 

Cas raised an eyebrow. "You're weird. How can you not like bees and be afraid of butterflies? How did that even happen?"

 

Dean chuckled and shrugged as he pulled into a parking garage in Capitol Hill. “Just lucky I guess?”

 

"You know they make plush ladybugs because the rest of humanity thinks they are cute, right?" Cas asked, still sounding somewhat surprised.

 

As they pulled into a parking spot, Dean turned to look at Cas with a quirked brow. “They’re bugs. Scary looking multiple leg having bugs. And butterflies eat dead flesh, so I’ll have no more judgement from you.”

 

Cas shook his head and laughed at that. When Dean shut off the engine, Cas leaned over to pull him into a soft kiss. "I think I love you even more now."

 

Dean smiled and braced his forehead against Cas’s. “I’ll take it.”

 

Cas cupped Dean's cheek with a smile. "Sorry I was so short with you at work. I kind of promised myself not to slack and it's difficult with you always being in the forefront of my mind."

 

“Hey, don’t gotta apologize for that. I can try to not bother you during work hours?”

 

"The reason I didn't answer your support mail isn't just to have something threatening for my muppets. I kind of have a fantasy of taking you on your desk. Like a recurring daydream. So yeah, I can't promise I wouldn't try that at one point." 

 

Dean smirked. “That’s why I faked the distress call.”

 

"You did what?" Cas asked with a chuckle.

 

“Well, I deleted some of my desktop files and said they disappeared, because google was not at all helpful on how to actually make a computer not work.”

 

Cas laughed out loud at that. "I can't believe it." He drew Dean closer and whispered in his ear, "All because you wanted me to fuck you on your desk?"

 

Dean shrugged. “Or against my window. I’m not picky.”

 

Cas groaned softly before he rubbed his hand over his own groin to readjust his jeans. "Damn, Dean."

 

“Yeah, so next time? You need to respond to my distress call. Not a muppet. You get me?” He growled as he yanked him in for a pretty needy kiss.

 

"What if someone comes into your office?" Cas asked breathlessly, before he basically pulled Dean onto his lap.

 

Dean groaned as he wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and ground his ass against Cas’s erection. “That’s what they invented locks for.”

 

Cas pulled him closer as he rocked his groin up against Dean's ass with a moan, pulling Dean down into a needy kiss. He panted heavily against his lips as he leaned back. "I'm hungry, but I would skip lunch to have sex with you."

 

“Did you eat breakfast?” Dean ended up having to come in early, so he didn’t get to make them breakfast like he normally would.

 

Cas gave him a pained look. "Um, no. But at least I drank a bottle of water at work."

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Then no sex for you. At least not right now.”

 

Cas whined. "I won't starve from missing two meals."

 

“I don’t care. You can fuck me stupid later.” Dean moved back to his seat and opened the door.

 

"Fuck," Cas murmured under his breath, pressing his head against the back of his seat, taking in a deep breath. "Give me a second." Dean could hear him murmuring, "Trump in shorts, Trump in..."

 

Cas looked up at him before he got out of the car. "Okay, I'm good." 

 

Dean barked out a laugh and grabbed his hand. “I love  _ you  _ even more now.”

 

Cas squeezed his hand with a smirk. "It's the best thing to kill a boner. Seriously." 

 

“I don’t doubt that. But I swear, if I think of Trump next time we make out, you’re in the doghouse.”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose. "If you think of Trump while we make out I'm doing something seriously wrong and belong in the doghouse."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded in agreement. “Yes and you wouldn’t get the surprise I have planned for you after dinner tonight.”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. "Surprise?" He playfully nudged his shoulder. "Do I get a hint?"

 

“Have I ever given you a damn hint?”

 

"Not yet," Cas challenged back before he gave him a adorable puppy eye look. "Please? Just a little hint? So I get through the rest of this horrible day?"

 

Dean leaned in and waved his finger for Cas to come closer. When he did, he breathed into Cas’s ear, “Not a chance.”

 

"I thought you loved me?" Cas whispered, surprising Dean with an even more pathetic looking puppy eye look.

 

“I do. I love you enough to not ruin the surprise,” he countered as he braced his hand over Cas’s face. “Now stop that. I’m immune.”

 

"You have no heart." Cas shook his head. "No one is immune to puppy eyes except people with no heart."

 

Dean chuckled. “Only puppy eyes I fall for are Baby’s. And even then not all that often. So I guess I’m heartless.”

 

Cas faced the floor for a moment before he looked up from a lowered head, giving him a sad puppy eye look that just screamed for Dean to hug him. "But if you're heartless how can you love me?"

 

“Not cool,” Dean murmured as he drew Cas in for a kiss. “And I do love you, but I’m not giving you a hint.”

 

“I could just make wild guesses,” Cas suggested as he leaned back and took his hand. 

 

Dean chuckled. “You were one of those kids who shook their Christmas presents and figured out what you got before you opened it, weren’t you?”

 

"Of course," Cas replied immediately. "If I hadn't found them beforehand that is."

 

“Well, you’re SOL with me, Kitten. I lie for a living. Good luck figuring out if I’m lying or not if you actually do guess it.”

 

“Is it surprise sex?” Cas asked, unimpressed.

 

Dean shrugged. “Sure? I mean, we fuck all the time, so I don’t know how it would be a surprise…”

 

"Okay so the surprise is that you're covered in chocolate and I lick it from you?" Cas asked with squinty eyes.

 

“Do you have any idea how sticky that would be?” Dean asked in a feigned disgusted tone as he nudged Cas to turn left at the corner of the street.

 

"How about whipped cream?" Cas sighed and added, "Oh, man, I'm getting hungry."

 

Dean laughed. “See? Food was a good idea.”

 

Cas chuckled and nodded. “So where did you bring me anyway?”

 

Dean stopped them in front of a kitschy little place called the Honey Hole. “Here,” he said with a fancy hand wave.

 

Cas grabbed Dean's hand as they entered the place, taking everything in with curious eyes. "I'm so hungry I could eat a bear... filled with elephant... filled with bacon."

 

“They might serve that here,” he teased as he took Cas towards the line. There were only a couple of places to sit, the place was usually packed. He looked up at the menu, already knowing what he was going to order. “I’ve never been disappointed in their food.”

 

Cas stared at the menu with a concentrated frown. It was hard to look away from his beautiful lips, but Cas hadn’t noticed Dean’s staring as he looked up at him with a questioning look. “Any recommendations?”

 

Dean smiled, kind of amazed how much he loved the man beside him. “If you like a good French dip, I recommend the Gooch. I’m getting the Dude.”

 

Cas looked at the other side of the menu, reading before he nodded with a smile. “Gooch sounds pretty good.” Damn those lips should be forbidden. 

 

Before he could stop himself, he gently grasped Cas’s chin and tilted his head up to press a gentle, yet rather lengthy kiss to his lips. He drew back and swiped the pad of his thumb along Cas’s bottom lip. “You’re so fucking pretty, Cas.”

 

"You make me feel like a princess," Cas gushed playfully.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. “I’m so fucking glad we’re giving this a shot.”

 

"Me, too." Cas suddenly smiled shyly. "Did I tell you that you're my first boyfriend?"

 

Dean couldn’t help but smile at that. “No. Hopefully I’m your last boyfriend too.”

 

Cas mirrored the smile. "Bet your ass that I'll keep you."

 

“You’re either quoting Casper the friendly ghost or a serial killer, either way it’s a little creepy and damn cute.” Dean squeezed Cas’s hand again. 

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head, "No, no, no. Creepy would be if I told you to rub the lotion on its skin."

 

Dean shook his head in feigned dismay. “That shouldn’t turn me on, right?”

 

Cas waggled his eyebrows. "I could put some lotion on your skin when we're home."

 

That definitely sounded like a good idea. The downside was there was no chance for that, they only had thirty minutes between getting off work and getting to Tacoma on time for dinner with Crowley and Bobby. Dean gave him a pointed look. “We could get this food to go, tell work we got food poisoning, and spend the next…” he looked at his watch and finished, “five hours fucking?”

 

Cas looked like he was tortured by this suggestion. “This is why I tried to avoid seeing you at work. Because all I want is to say yes, but I have a deadline to keep and I won't make it if I give in. So will you hate me if we push this to after we get home again?”

 

Dean hoped the look of astonished adoration wasn’t showing on his face. Cas referred to his place as home. Goddamn he didn’t realize just how much he missed that. “It’ll have to wait ‘til after dinner, but yeah. For you? I can wait.”

 

Cas gave him a charming smile. "Hey, and when it comes to what we got down, it's driving each other crazy and making ourselves wait to cash it in."

 

Before he could respond it was their turn to order. Dean greeted the cashier and smiled. “Hey, can I get the Dude on the gluten free baguette? And this one’ll have the Gooch. Anything else?” he directed at Cas.

 

Cas shook his head with a smile before he wrapped his arms around Dean from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder.

 

The young woman behind the register smiled like she was staring at a couple of puppies, or penguins. Dean would have been annoyed, but Cas’s warmth eased the inner demon. Dean leaned his head against Cas’s and handed her his debit card. “We can still get it to go if your deadline is that tight?”

 

"It is, but I’d rather spend some more time with you," Cas replied before he pressed a soft kiss to his throat.

 

After Dean got his card back and their table number, he turned into Cas’s embrace. “I’m happy to do whatever you want, Kitten.”

 

Cas chuckled at that and shook his head. "If that were true you would stop calling me kitten and I’d know what my surprise is."

 

“You know I call you that because it drives you crazy.” Dean winked at him as he snaked a table in the corner of the restaurant.

 

Cas sat across from him and immediately took his hand in his over the table. "That is so very nice of you."

 

Dean smirked. “I’m a very nice boy. Don’t listen to your coworkers.”

 

"I'm pretty sure they are all right about you and I'm too smitten to see it," Cas replied with a chuckle, squeezing his hand.

 

“Then the plan worked. I’ll be Dr. Evil and take over the world, you’ll just be doting and by my side, none the wiser.”

 

Cas held his little finger against his lips with wide eyes before he winked at him and murmured, “I’m totally cool with that.”

 

And in that moment Dean knew he was irretrievably and undoubtedly in love with Castiel Novak. Not that there was ever any doubt.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

They had only ended up being about twenty minutes late, and not because of sex (for once), but because Baby was being a pain in the ass when he was trying to get her to sit still so he could buckle her into his backseat. That damn dog always knew when they were going to Bobby and Crowley’s place. Dean had no idea how, a part of him questioned whether Crowley had a weird dog-related ESP or something, his skill with dogs was scary good.

 

Cas had nervously fidgeted his bad knee the entire drive to Tacoma, it was damn cute. And the fact that things had gotten so serious was only slightly scary, unlike in the beginning, when Dean really struggled with his guilt. But time and the sheer power of their connection had slowly and surely calmed those doubts. Hell, when Cas called his place home earlier, it was a little surprising how warm it made him feel, as opposed to freaked out.

 

When they pulled up to Bobby’s place, a nice, three bedroom cottage on a couple of acres, where he had a huge salvage yard behind the house and an enclosure for all of their dogs (and the training school Crowley ran); Baby lost her damn mind. A high pitched bark, essentially a demand to be let out. Dean hoped some day he’d be able to get a place with a big yard for her. She deserved it.

 

After unleashing the beasts onto each other  –  and goddamnit, Dean was grateful that Baby was fixed the way Ramsey would just… go to town on her. Juliet would eventually get pissed and nip at his tail to get him to back off. It was nice to see girl power like that  –  they had finally settled at the dinner table, Crowley serving them bangers and mash. 

 

Dean remembered the first time he made it for him and Sammy, how much they kicked up a fuss about weird ass british food. And now it was one of Dean’s go to comfort foods. Hell, the week after the funeral, Crowley made it for him everyday for almost two weeks. That’s when he realized Bobby had said something to him. Damn his daydreaming. 

 

“Sorry, Bobby. I wasn’t listening.”

 

"Haven't seen you daydreaming in a while, boy," Bobby replied with a barely there smile.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Is it a crime now?”

 

"Not at all." Bobby and Crowley exchanged a knowing smirk and Dean could feel Cas squeezing his hand under the table, giving him a wink before Bobby added, "I was just trying to tell you that we have some plywood you can have for your fort and I asked if you guys want it."

 

“Seriously?” Dean asked, unable to mask his smile. He turned to Cas. “Whaddya say? Wanna make a real fort?”

 

“Hell yes!" Cas looked as enthusiastic as Dean felt. "It would be so much more awesome to show Sammy a real fort, instead of one made out of boxes."

 

Dean nodded and turned back to Bobby and Crowley. “Thanks, guys. Yeah, is it stuff I can move in my hybrid or should we come back with Cas’s van?”

 

"If Cas has a van that’s probably easier. Some on them are pretty long and you have Baby in the back," Crowley replied thoughtfully.

 

Cas nodded. "Just tell me when you have time and I’ll drive down to get them."

 

“We’re free this weekend,” Crowley said, completely devoid of sarcasm. He was on his best behavior. They must both really like Cas. Dean couldn’t help but smile at that.

 

"Awesome. I’ll come over then. Thank you so much!" Cas gave them both a wide smile. "Do you want pictures when our Fort-ress of Solitude 2.0 is done?"

 

They shared another smug smile with each other. Crowley leaned over and handed Cas his cell phone. “Program your number in my mobile.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’ve lived here forever, call it a cell phone.”

 

Crowley quirked his brow at him, lips pursed with his lack of amusement. “Someone doesn’t want the trifle I made.”

 

Instantly Dean’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “Sorry, I do. Call it whatever you want.”

 

Cas chuckled as he looked at Crowley. "Pretty sure that threat was against the Geneva convention."

 

“You clearly don’t want any trifle either,” he quipped.

 

"Where can I vote for you to be our next president?" Cas returned quickly.

 

Crowley barked out a laugh. “Silly child, I’m clearly nowhere near enough of an egomaniacal arsehole with an IQ smaller than my prick to qualify for that job.”

 

Bobby was about to say something and Crowley held his hand up. “If you don’t want to sleep with Ramsey tonight, you better not speak.”

 

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. He leaned in and whispered to Cas, “Love goals, right?”

 

Cas replied with a mixture of charming smile and sassy grin. "Yeah, I'd say we already reached that."

 

He squeezed his hand and nodded. “Maybe even passed it.”

 

Cas squeezed his hand back, his smile grew wider. "I think so too."

 

Dean’s heart warmed even further. Before he could say anything, both Bobby and Crowley cleared their throats to get their attention. He gave them a sheepish smile and focused on his food again.

 

"The food is really awesome," Cas complimented Crowley. 

 

Crowley smirked. “I know.”

 

"So next to dogs, cooking is your passion?" Cas asked with a smile.

 

At that Crowley grabbed Bobby’s hand and smiled at him. “Cooking’s third on the list.”

 

Bobby gave him a quick smile before he replied gruffly, "You still got the charm."

 

When they leaned in to kiss each other, Dean rolled up his napkin and threw it at them. “Boo! It’s like watching my parents make out.” He then proceeded to shield his eyes.

 

“Great, Dean. You made it worse." Cas chuckled.

 

“No trifle for you!” Dean called out.

 

Crowley chuckled. “Oh, Squirrel, that’s not how that works.”

 

“Dean, you don’t mess with the man in power of the trifle.” Cas leaned over and whispered into his ear, “But I’ll share mine with you because I love you.”

 

Dean turned to him and cupped his face. “Ditto,” he whispered with an awed smile.

 

“You guys won’t need the trifle. You’re already too sweet. And that means more trifle for us.” Bobby grinned at Crowley.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “This is my cheat night. I don’t care if I have to steal it and binge eat it in my car, I’m getting trifle.”

 

Cas chuckled. “This trifle must be really good.”

 

“Dude, you don’t even know.”

 

Crowley chuckled. “Are you finished with your bangers? I could bring it out now?”

 

Cas hadn’t left even a crumb on his plate, so he must really have liked the food, something Crowley had positively noticed too. “I left extra space in my stomach for dessert.”

 

They shared a laugh at that, Crowley moving to stand as he held his hand out for their plates. “Come on, let me take care of these dishes and I’ll bring it out.”

 

Cas stood up as he grabbed Dean’s and his plate. “I’ll help you.”

 

As they disappeared into the kitchen together, Dean just stared at Cas’s retreating form and couldn’t help the small smile on his face.

 

“So, when’s the wedding?” Bobby asked suddenly.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and sank back against his chair. “Funny,” he replied dryly.

 

Bobby leaned forward on the table. “It’s nice to see you happy like this again. You found a good apple there.”

 

Dean nodded as he ducked his gaze. “I really did.”

 

“So it’s serious?”

 

“Bobby,” Dean started with a chuckle. “He makes me happy.”

 

Bobby gave him one of his rare wide smiles. “I can’t tell you how happy I am, seeing you like this. You got a second chance and those are pretty rare in life. Embrace it, son. Embrace it with everything you have.”

 

Dean got what he meant, but there was still this part of Dean, this illogical and lunatic voice that mocked his happiness by playing the memories of what he lost in a loop. Because Dean couldn’t lose another man he loved. 

 

And an even darker voice would flash with images of just how low Cas could get. That that loss could come sooner rather than later at the hands of the man he loved. He sighed. “I’m fucking terrified, Bobby.”

 

Bobby frowned and leaned closer over the table. "Why?"

 

“Why do you think?” He asked in a scoff.

 

Bobby sighed and shook his head. "Dean, if you keep worrying about death all the time, then you'll stop living. You will just be alone and unhappy for the rest of your life, missing all those moments you could have had, but were too afraid to reach for. I get that you're afraid, but, son... you need to take the risk again."

 

Dean took a sip of his beer, toying with the label as a means of focus. “I do think this could go the long haul, and the second it doesn’t terrify me, I know I’ll propose.”

 

Bobby grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I think this time it will work out."

 

He squeezed back and smiled. “You gonna roll me down the aisle?”

 

Bobby returned the smile. "Nothing would make me prouder, son."

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Then I’ll keep you posted.”

 

“You do that. And in the meantime you enjoy every second of what you got there.”

 

Dean couldn’t help but smile. He nodded again and sank back against his seat. “So, real talk. What do you think of him?”

 

Bobby shrugged. “I don’t know him that well yet, but a guy who makes you smile like that, can’t be that bad. He seems nice, maybe a little weird. But I know that’s your taste.”

 

“You see weird, I see amazing,” he countered with a smile. It was kind of crazy how much he loved Cas already.

 

Bobby gave him a quick smile. "And he also seems to be protective of you. Don't think we didn't notice how he 'saved' you from us when we pestered you about your new boyfriend at the gallery." 

 

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, he’s not very subtle.”

 

"Which isn't a bad thing. At least you know what you’re getting with him, right?" Bobby asked curiously, clearly trying to get information out of him.

 

Dean shook his head and let out a soft laugh. “Say what you wanna say, Bobby.”

 

"I don't wanna say anything." Bobby shrugged before he folded his hands over the table. "Just trying to see if the guy is good enough for our little idjit here."

 

“What makes you think he might not be?” Dean challenged.

 

Bobby raised his eyebrow. "I don't. Just want to make sure he's treating you right. Anything I should know? Is he a serial cheater? A commitment phobe?"

 

Dean stared at his beer bottle as he tried to think about Cas’s faults. He did have them. It wasn’t like people were perfect, Hallmark movie, compatible penguins, or whatever the analogy for true love was nowadays. “I’m not gonna talk about his faults, ‘cause it isn’t my place, but I can tell you, Bobby. They aren’t deal breakers.”

 

Bobby nodded slowly. "I'm just saying, if he hurts you, I'm gonna run him over."

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “No need for that. I’m a big boy.”

 

"I know you are, son. But still." Bobby shrugged before he gave him a smile. "I just want you to be happy."

 

“I am, Bobby, I really am,” he said with a soft smile. And damn, he meant it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Frankie here:_ Final Chapter! We hope you enjoyed the ride and like how it ends! 
> 
> Oh, man. This fic was super unplanned and random. We were in the middle of a couple other fics and working on certain sequels, when this rando idea popped into my head and Any was all ride or die about it and boom, we wrote this beast in a couple of weeks. Like, I fucking loved writing this AU. We went a little looser with their characterizations, but hopefully it’s not too OOC for anyone. We did throw in quite a few nods to their canon characterizations. Anyway, yeeeeahhh. This was fun to write because I am basically Dean when it comes to IT shit and Any is Cas, some of the dialogue was genuine responses. LOLOLOL
> 
>  **Any here:** This was so much fun. And also the first time we wrote a real sloooooooooooooow build!! Yeah! We usually are super bad with slow build cuz we love our porn but yeah I’m super proud with how long we lasted on this one. Also over 100k in such a short amount of time. Damn we write so much!!! 
> 
> _Frankie here:_ It’s just so much fucking fun when we write together. Speaking of which, we’ve got several fics slowly being beta’d in between writing spurts, we’re getting close to finishing the prequel to Playing with Fire, and oh, man, some fun fucking ideas for the In a Mirror, Darkly sequel. YEAH, all the writing!!
> 
>  **Any here:** Oh man, I can’t wait for all our finished babies to get out there. We got some serious gems here. Anyway, I hope y’all had fun and like always, we love to hear from you guys :D
> 
>  _Frankie here:_ For reals! And we look forward to bombarding you with fics soon, lolol.

**Chapter 13**

 

His muppets started to hum the melody of The Imperial March when they entered the office with a cupcake in their hands, a burning candle on top of it.

 

"It's not my birthday," Cas commented dryly as he leaned back against his chair, watching the procession with an amused smile.

 

“It’s been eight months!” Kevin announced with a grin.

 

“That is your personal record working for a company,” Charlie added as an explanation. “And we’re celebrating it ‘cause it’s binary.”

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head. “You want me to make a wish?”

 

“That’s usually what you’re supposed to do with candles. Their other use isn’t exactly G-rated,” a beautifully familiar voice said from the doorway. Dean was leaning against it, a smirk on his face.

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. "The moment you realize your boyfriend is way more kinky than you thought."

 

Charlie and Kevin groaned in unison before they pressed the cupcake unceremoniously into his hand. “Happy eighth anniversary,“ Charlie wished him with a wink.

 

“Thank you,” Cas smiled up at his muppets before he looked at Dean. He stared at him for a moment, wishing for Dean and him to be exactly this happy for the rest of their lives, as happy as they had been the past few months. “I think I have a good wish,” he murmured before he blew out the candle.

 

Dean chuckled and nodded for him to come outside.

 

Cas followed Dean outside with his cupcake, taking a bite from it with an appreciative groan, the flavor of pure chocolate instantly drowned his tongue. Someone knew his love for chocolate. “Woah, this cupcake is awesome. You wanna bite?”

 

Dean took a quick look around before pushing Cas into a supply closet a few doors down. When he shut the door he cupped Cas’s face and pressed a needy kiss to his lips.

 

Cas blindly sat the cupcake onto a shelf before he groaned into the kiss in surprise and grabbed Dean's ass to pull him up and into his arms, turning them around so he could push Dean against the shelf. "Fuck, baby," he breathed against his lips. "Did you miss me up there?"

 

“Yeah,” he growled against Cas’s lips as he started loosening his tie.

 

Cas quickly unbuttoned Dean’s shirt before he unbuckled Dean’s jeans. “Please tell me you brought lube.”

 

Dean pulled out a single serve packet, one of the many they’d picked up at some pride related event in Capitol Hill. He smirked as he dangled it. “And I’m already prepped. Just gotta slick your dick.”

 

Cas groaned and put Dean down before he grabbed the packet from his hand to trap it between his teeth. He quickly opened Dean’s pants and pulled them down with his underwear, just enough to free his ass and cock. His gaze wandered over the beautiful sight of his boyfriend as he pushed down his own jeans and boxers, opening the package with his teeth before he spread the lube over his cock. Cas slid his slick fingers in between Dean’s legs, fingering Dean’s hole. “Fuck, you weren't kidding. Turn around, baby.”

 

Dean turned and braced the rack behind them, widening his stance as best he could considering his pants were at his knees. “Less talky, more fucky.”

 

Cas chuckled and pressed his dick against Dean's hole. "Did you really just say that?" He asked breathlessly as he slowly pushed inside Dean's hot, tight ass.

 

“Yes,” Dean hissed out as he slammed himself onto Cas’s cock. Huge plus side of dating a pushy, power bottom.

 

Cas groaned and started to fuck Dean hard and fast. "Fuck, I love when you're like this."

 

“What?” Dean asked in a breathy chuckle, “all needy and desperate for your dick?”

 

"Yes," Cas pushed in deeper, harder. "I love when you fuck yourself on my cock, baby."

 

Dean started doing just that, undulating his hips in a frantic back and forth motion as his knuckles turned white from his grip on the racks. “No judgement, we haven’t had sex in two days… _two.”_

 

Cas moaned and spread Dean's ass cheeks with his fingers, watching his cock fucking into him. "Yeah, it's like three days too many."

 

“Too many,” Dean groaned out, “please fuck me harder.”

 

Cas picked up the pace, the shelf started to bump against the wall from how hard Cas was fucking Dean against it. He knew he would never get enough of fucking Dean in the office. He bit his lip when his balls started to tighten up. "Baby, I'm so fucking close," he groaned out as he snaked one of his hands to Dean cock, stroking it.

 

Dean whimpered in response, his hole clenching like a vice from how hard Dean came. He painted the packages of staples, but still kept fucking himself against Cas’s cock despite the momentary shudders.

 

Cas couldn't hold back any longer. The tightness just pushed him over and after a few more hard thrusts, he came deep inside of Dean with a gasp that he stifled by biting Dean's shoulder. "Fuck, baby." He panted as he slowly came down from his high and pulled out so he could draw Dean into a deep kiss. "I love you."

 

“Me, too, Kitten,” he murmured against his lips.

 

Cas leaned back to look at him. "Please don't call me kitten when we pick up my brother later, okay? I will never hear the end of it."

 

Dean waggled his eyebrows. “What’ll you give me if I don’t?”

 

“My first born child?” He suggested with a shrug.

 

“You’ve promised me that on seven different occasions now. Once for the other half of my doughnut. So, no. Try again.”

 

Cas squinted his eyes thoughtfully. "I will be your sex slave for a week. The offer includes massages and blowjobs."

 

Dean smirked. “Make it two and you give _me_ a strip tease in a pair of my satin panties, and you’ve got yourself a deal, Sunshine.”

 

Cas growled slightly, biting his lip. "Alright, alright. You got yourself a deal."

 

Dean pulled his pants up and winked. “Don’t be nervous.”

 

"You say that like I have a button that I can just push to shut down my absolute nerve wracking nervousness," Cas replied dryly as he pulled up his jeans and buttoned them. He didn’t sleep at all the night before. He hadn’t seen his brother in almost a year.

 

“If that was an option, I would’ve demanded access to that button months ago.” Dean cupped his face. After a beat of intense staring, Dean screwed his face up, trying to pull his “ugly” face.

 

Cas rolled his eyes and chuckled before he kissed Dean's nose. "Damn, I don't know why I feel so tense. I shouldn't really." He used a tissue from his pocket to clean the shelf from Dean's come and threw it in a waste basket. His work before had pretty much done a perfect job of distracting him. But now all his worries came back like a sudden flood bursting through a dam.

 

Dean stilled his hands and gave him a reassuring smile. “Eat the rest of your cupcake. Then we’re gonna grab some coffee so you can take a breath.”

 

“Am I that obvious?” Cas asked dryly before he took his cupcake to break it in half to offer the rest to Dean.

 

Dean surprisingly took it and stuffed it into his mouth. “Your turn,” he mumbled around the cake.

 

Cas put the rest of the cupcake in his mouth with a stupid grin. Dean never failed to make him laugh. He had never thought he would meet someone who he would fall in love with. These past few months were the happiest in his life and he felt more stable with his own issues since he had been with Dean. Just knowing that he was there, gave him the security to try out new things, to trust and to enjoy what he had. "Do you think Sammy will like our Fort-ress of Solitude?"

 

“How could he not?” Dean challenged as he started tucking in his shirt and straightening his tie.

 

"You're right." He probably was more nervous to see Gabriel than Sammy.

 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and braced his forehead against his. “You make me happy, Mr. Novak.”

 

"As do you, Mr. Winchester," Cas replied with a grin before he grabbed him and pulled him into his arms. "And I'm keeping you."

 

“Good thing, too. It would’ve been real hard to explain the property of Castiel tattoo on my ass to the next boyfriend,” he teased.

 

"There will be no next boyfriend," Cas growled possessively before he drew him into a deep kiss. He knew he would never get enough of Dean's lips. Even after so many months, his whole body still tingled from those kisses. When he leaned back, he put Dean on the ground again. "You said something about coffee? You wanna go over to Heavenly Coffee or is it still weird between you and Inias?"

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I think the girls threatened him, from the way Hannah was talking. Apparently finding out I was gay did the exact opposite of making them uninterested in me.”

 

“They threatened him?” Cas asked, feeling slightly worried.

 

“Before you get defensive, teen, college-aged baristas threatened him, so whatever that means. They probably threatened to unfollow him on social media. We’re okay is what I’m getting at, Cas.”

 

Cas nodded with a rueful smile. "I'm still a little over-protective of him. Sorry."

 

Dean shrugged. “Hey, he forgave you and agreed to be friends. And he only put whole milk in my drink five times. I think we’re okay.”

 

"That's good to know." He chuckled before he intertwined their hands and they carefully left the room. No one was on the floor so they were in luck. “Gabriel can be a little annoying. I apologize in advance.”

 

Dean smirked. “I’m easy-going. But if he gets on your ass about anything, I’m not the type who worries about impressing family. You come first for me. So, I’ll be protective of you. Hell, one of Aaron’s aunts still won’t talk to me ‘cause I put that homophobic bitch in her place.”

 

To say that Cas was worried about exactly that happening was an understatement. "I know you are, baby, and I love that about you. But Gabriel… he might say hurtful stuff to me and… do you think you can let it slide? Make an exception? He does so much for Sammy.”

 

Dean quirked his brow, the expression he usually gave Bela when she gave him attitude. “How about the three strikes and he’s out rule? He gets three, after that, I might not be able to keep my mouth shut.”

 

“Sounds fair,” Cas replied with a soft smile. He knew he was already asking a lot from Dean, to hold back like that and all. “I'm just saying. He does everything for Sammy. He drives him everywhere, to all his appointments. He remodelled his house so he can go everywhere... and he paid a lot of money to get me out of trouble in the past. I owe him a lot."

 

As Dean leaned forward to hit the up button for the elevator, he nodded his understanding. “Just because you owe him, doesn’t mean he gets to belittle or demean the man I love.”

 

Cas shrugged. "He won't belittle me, but sometimes he sounds a bit harsh when he thinks I need a good kick in the ass."

 

When the elevator opened, Dean pulled him in with a smile. “You see, the thing is… you aren’t the scared kid that made a mistake and had trouble processing his guilt anymore. You’re a strong, smart, sometimes funny man and your brother would do well to remember that.”

 

"Sometimes funny?" Cas complained with a smirk, trying to distract himself from the oncoming emotions Dean had provoked with his words. "I'm hilarious."

 

“No, honey. I’m hilarious. You’re mostly just adorable.”

 

Cas snickered. "You're right. You're especially hilarious with computers."

 

Dean rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him. "Stop making that face. I know you love me."

 

“Alas, you ensnared me with your elf magic.” Dean sighed dramatically.

 

"Yeah, don't call me elf either in front of Sammy."

 

Dean shook his head. “Well, that would just be outright lying.” And damn that smirk of his.

 

“Three weeks of being your sex slave?” Cas offered with a grin.

 

“You know I’m tempted to make up even worse nicknames for you now, right? How about… schmoopsykins?”

 

“Four weeks?” Cas begged with a puppy eye look, one Baby’s would have paled against.

 

Dean quirked his brow. “But Googly-Bear, how else can I express my love for you outside of terrible pet names?”

 

“Do you want a list?” Cas replied dryly.

 

“I will not, ever, completely clean my desktop, so if that’s on your list, then no.”

 

"Damn it. That was on the top of my list." He wasn't even kidding. He had a list.

 

Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes as he opened the main door for Cas. “Why am I not surprised?”

 

“Because you know me too well.” Cas pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Hopefully that doesn’t mean you will get bored of me.”

 

“If I get bored, I’ll just download a virus on your laptop. That’ll keep things fiery, right?” Dean winked at him as he high-fived Frank in passing.

 

Cas waved at Frank before he playfully glared at Dean. "The fiery thing will be your ass burning from when I spank you for a move like that."

 

Dean tsk’d him as he shook his head. “You really need to work on your punishment threats.”

 

Cas chuckled and pulled him closer. "Have I already mentioned how much I love you today?" He winked at him and opened the door of the café for Dean.

 

“Couldn’t hurt if you told me again…”

 

Cas smiled at him and kissed his nose. "I love you, baby."

 

They nearly collided with Inias on their way in, who glared at Cas. "Seriously, Cas? I know it's hard to look away from that guy for a moment, but try to not run over little folks like me."

 

Dean gave Cas a pointed look as he didn’t respond and headed to the register, leaving Cas a moment to talk to Inias without Dean ear hustling, as Dean liked to call it.

 

"Sorry for nearly running you over, Nias. But as you stated, it was hardly my fault."

 

Inias chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, can't believe you're still dating the local dreamboat."

 

Cas punched Inias's shoulder, returning his smile. "Well, guess I'm just lucky."

 

Inias turned around to return to the counter with a wistful nod. "That you are." He greeted Dean with a friendly smile. "What can I get you two?"

 

Dean smiled and said, “Americana double shot and nonfat milk for me.”

 

This time he could see that Inias was using the right milk for Dean’s order. Cas was still squinting his eyes at the chalkboard. Inias put the coffee in front of Dean and rolled his eyes at Cas. "Cas... you always order the same thing and you know it."

 

"Maybe I'll be adventurous this time."

 

Inias raised his eyebrow.

 

"Alright, I'm not. I’ll take the usual," Cas growled and crossed his arms over his chest as he paid for Dean and his coffee.

 

Inias snickered and pushed his Caffè Misto with extra caramel over the counter. "Predictable as always."

 

Cas gave Dean a pained look. "See? I'm boring."

 

Dean chuckled. “I never said you weren’t. I just so happen to like boring.”

 

"Yeah," Cas replied semi enthusiastically as he guided Dean to a table. "That's the dream."

 

As he sat down, Dean let out a soft laugh and shook his head. “The thing is, I _love_ your predictability. I love that when you see a bee, you friggin’ coo at it like it’s a damn puppy. And it’s not, by the way…”

 

Dean shuddered before he continued, “I love that when you order the same sugary monstrosity everytime you come in here, right before you’re insistent that you might change your mind. I love that you get this dazed look in your eyes whenever I mention Ryan Reynolds. That you know all of the words to Weird Al Yankovic’s weird _Star Wars_ \- _American Pie_ remake and that it’s an actual compulsion for you to sing it all the way through if you hear any part of it. I love that you make the same jokes over and over, because you can only remember a handful of them. I love how fiercely protective you are over people you love, to such an extent you dole out legit tough guy lines from 90’s action movies. So, yes. If loving the parts of you that make me smile, make me sigh from happiness, make me into a _When Harry Met Sally_ spouting cliche, all of these parts somehow comprising precisely _why_ I’m in love you… if that’s considered boring, then sign me the fuck up for boring.”

 

The wooden stick he had used to stir his coffee (just to lick the sugar from it) fell from his hand on the table as he stared at Dean. That had been the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him and the fact that Dean loved and noticed all of his silly idiosyncrasies just made him fall in love with Dean all over again. “Um,” Cas replied dumbfoundedly. _Well... smooth._

 

Dean chuckled. “And I love how speechless you get when I make good points.”

 

Cas stood up from his chair and rounded the table before he leaned over to draw Dean into a deeply passionate kiss. He leaned his forehead against him when he drew back. “That's the nicest thing someone has ever said to me. I… I love you. I just fell in love with you again.”

 

That was met with a soft laugh as Dean nodded. “Good. I love you and would be honored to be another predictable part of your life.”

 

Dean's laugh was infectious. Cas smiled at him and nodded. "You already are. Although predictable isn't the word I would choose. You never fail to amaze and surprise me, Dean."

 

Dean’s grin was beaming. “Then I guess you’re stuck with me.”

 

Cas mirrored the beaming smile. He couldn't help it from the sheer happiness he was feeling. "That's good news," he replied with a laugh.

 

Dean chuckled and pulled Cas onto his lap. “So what’s the plan for tonight?”

 

"We drive to the airport, grab my brothers and get them home and settled in, and then we go out for dinner at that Thai place we love? They don't have stairs and they make pretty good food," Cas suggested.

 

“Sounds good to me. I was gonna head out a little early to walk Baby, should we meet at your place or mine?”

 

"I’ll take my car and I'm going to pick you up later." And the nervousness was back. _Well, that was quick._

 

Dean smiled and chucked his chin. “Hey, anxious. You’re gonna see Sammy in less than six hours. Come on, let me see that adorable, nerdy excitement.”

 

Cas squinted his eyes at him before he leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "I just fucked you against a shelf in our supply closet and you still think I'm adorable?"

 

“Absolutely. Just because you’re sexy as hell and damn good in the sack, doesn’t mean you can’t be adorable too.”

 

“I guess I can live with that,” Cas replied with a shrug and a happy smile.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Did he bite his fingernails? Yes. Was he proud of it? Not really. Cas wobbled on his toes, staring at the arrival gate for Sammy and Gabe to finally come through it.

 

He hadn't felt this nervous in a long time and he knew why. He had built a new life. He had settled down. He had found someone he loved and would stay with. This was serious and he just hoped both his past and present lives wouldn't clash.

 

He needed this to work.

 

Dean appeared holding a coffee from the airport Starbucks for him. “Not that you need more caffeine, but figured you need something to stop you from gnawing your fingers.”

 

"Thank you, baby," Cas replied gratefully before he grabbed the coffee and sipped on it. "I hope you will like them."

 

“Already like Sammy, and even if I don’t like Gabe, I’ll pretend I do, for you.” Dean winked at him.

 

"I love you. I can't say it enough." Cas wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulder and stared at the door again. Everytime it opened and someone else passed through he felt like he was about to have a heart attack.

 

Dean chuckled. “I love how nervous you are.”

 

Cas gave him a quick smirk. “How can you possibly find this endearing? I mean, I’m not complaining.”

 

The door opened again and his heart stopped. It was Sammy and Gabriel, Gabriel pushing Sammy down the hallway while his younger brother waved happily at them.

 

Cas waved back with a huge smile. His nervousness instantly turning into excitement. "They're here. Finally."

 

He squeezed Dean's hand and pulled him to the barrier that was separating them, instantly drawing Sammy into a tight hug as soon as they were past it. “Hey, you.”

 

Sammy hugged him before he drew back with a chuckle. “What happened to your hair?”

 

“No, no, his hair has to wait,” Gabriel announced before he happily hugged him tightly. “Hey, little one.”

 

Cas chuckled and pulled him tight. Even though he was taller than Gabriel, his older brother never stopped calling him little one. When he drew back, he grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him closer. “Sammy, Gabe, this is Dean. The love of my life.”

 

Dean smiled and reached his hand out to Sammy first. “Nice to finally meet face to face, X.”

 

"Likewise," Sammy replied with a beaming smile as he shook Dean's hand. "I thought you would be wearing a superhero costume from how Cas keeps talking about you."

 

“Only on Thursdays,” he quipped as he turned his attention to Gabe. “And you’re the older brother I’m supposed to be good around?”

 

Gabe raised an eyebrow and looked at Cas before he shook Dean's hand in a tight grip. "Yes, that's me. Older brother and stand-in father for those two clowns."      

 

Dean nodded and smiled. “Well, from what I’ve seen so far, you’ve done a great job.”

 

Gabriel beamed at Dean. "Thank you." He looked at Sammy and Cas with his hands up in the air. "See? I've done a great job."

 

Cas pulled him into his arms again and Sammy laughed when he did. "We know Gabe and we love you for it. Come on, let me help you with your luggage," Cas offered as he grabbed one of the big suitcases.

 

Without asking, Dean grabbed the other one. “I’m not sure if Cas mentioned that I have a dog, but I can hide her away if either of you aren’t fans of dogs.”

 

"I love dogs! And yeah, Cas told us about Baby," Sammy replied enthusiastically.

 

Gabe rolled his eyes. "I'm a cat person. But I have no problem with dogs."

 

“Something you and Ki… uh, Cas have in common.” Dean cleared his throat and changed the subject quickly, “Are there any sights either of you want to see?”

 

Gabriel squinted his eyes at Dean, an amused glint in his eyes. _Oh, fuck._ "What did you want to call Cas?"

 

Cas gave Dean a wide eyed look and shook his head before he turned to Gabriel. "Nothing. Let's just go, um, you're probably tired and hungry. Or both."

 

“Nothing. I wasn’t sworn to not call him certain pet names in front of you or anything,” Dean defended, winking at Cas as he said it.

 

Cas rolled his eyes. He was fucked. Not even a second later both of his brothers started to guess.

 

"Kissybear? Ki-"

 

"KitKat? Kilimanjaro?" Sammy added with a smile.

 

"You two are ridiculous. Stop guessing," Cas growled as he started to pull the suitcase behind him to go in the direction they had parked.

 

“Sammy was closest,” Dean added unhelpfully.

 

Cas stared at him with an open mouth. "Dean!"

 

"Is is Kitty?" Sammy asked happily.

 

Cas wished the floor would open up and swallow him. Awesome, there went all of his preparations to keep the nickname a secret, and all under two minutes.

 

"I can't believe it's Kitty again!" Sammy laughed and Cas rubbed his hands over his face.

 

Gabriel clapped his shoulder, laughing. "You know what that means. That pet name was made for you."

 

Dean held his hand up and said, “Whoa, _again?_ I need backstory, now.”

 

"We have an Aunt. A pretty annoying one who has a fuck ton of cats." Gabriel snickered. "When Castiel was a teeny, tiny toddler she sometimes watched him and when we’d pick him up, every time he’d be surrounded by all her cats. So she started to call him Kitty too. Especially when he started to meow for food."

 

Cas closed his eyes. He just wanted to die.

 

The expression on Dean’s face was clearly, very dearly trying to not burst into laughter. He covered his mouth for a moment before he said, “You, uh… you used to meow?”

 

Cas took in a deep breath and glared at Gabriel. "I hate you."

 

“What do I gotta do to get you to meow for me, Kitten?” Dean asked as he stepped closer to Cas.

 

Cas closed his eyes and gave him a pained look. "You too, Brutus?"

 

“I’d call you Cesar, but maybe Selina Kyle is a better name for you,” he said with a wink before he pressed a kiss to his cheek. He then whispered, “You can punish me later for failing.”

 

"Oh, I will," he growled back.

 

Sammy was cheering though. "Can we call you Cat-woman now?"

 

Cas turned to Sammy with a shocked expression. "Did you just suggest naming me after a DC hero? Shame on you, X. Shame on you. If you wanna make me into a sexy cat woman, you could have chosen Black Cat!"

 

“Or Cheetara,” Dean added.

 

"Don't be ridiculous, Dean. I could never pull off that costume with my body," Cas replied with a laugh.

 

Dean smirked. “I’d pay damn good money to see you try.”

 

"Me, too," Sammy added.

 

"Me, three," Gabriel quipped a second later.

 

"Well, you can't buy me." Cas flipped them off with a smirk.

 

“Maybe not with money, but mark my words, Kitten. Every person has a price.” Dean winked at him as he pulled out Cas’s car keys. Dean had driven his van because he was too nervous.

 

His brothers snickered behind him as Dean called him kitten again. Cas rolled his eyes and loaded the suitcases in the trunk before he helped Sammy in the backseat and folded his wheelchair. He was happy that his van had such a huge trunk to fit everything.

 

When he sat down next to Dean in the front, he gave him a pointed look. “What do you think my price is?”

 

Dean smirked and said, “Something pink and satiny."

 

Cas scoffed and raised his eyebrow. “You tidying up your desktop.”

 

“Or that,” he returned as he started buckling his seatbelt.

 

“But since that is never going to happen…” He grinned at Dean with a shrug. “I’m not bribable.”

 

Dean shrugged. “You never know.” He put the car in reverse and looked over his shoulder. “We’re getting Thai tonight, but are you guys hungry now? Or just want to relax after the long flight?”

 

“Relaxing sounds good. I already ate so many snacks on the plane and I really want to see your fortress now,” Sammy replied from the backseat.

 

Dean nodded and started pulling the van out. “Alright, let’s get you to Cas’s place.”

 

"And before you ask, Gabe. I really unpacked everything. There are no boxes left," Cas added with a soft smile.

 

His brother leaned over and touched his shoulder. "I know, kiddo. You're pretty changed since the last time I saw you. It's nice to see you smile so much."

 

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "Well yeah, I have Dean to thank for that."

 

“He’ll have me to thank for packing again soon too.” Dean said with a knowing smile. He’d asked Cas to move in with him a week ago and since Cas had a month to month, that meant when he said yes, it also meant he had three weeks left to get his stuff packed. Again.

 

Cas gave him a bright smile. "Yeah, but then I hope I never have to move again."

 

“If you think I am not buying a house sometime in the next four years, _you_ are crazy,” Dean argued.

 

Cas snickered and held up his hands. "Alright, alright. You heard it, Gabe. I at least have two more times of boxing up stuff."

 

"At least you’ll stay in the same state." Gabe replied with a soft smile.

 

Dean chuckled and gave Cas a small smirk. “Until we retire to Florida and live out our days in some weird, new age, swinger retirement home. I think that’s the trope now.”

 

The fact that Dean made plans for their future together. Like buying a house and growing old together, made him feel all warm and fuzzy in his heart. He reached over to touch his knee, squeezing it. Showing him with just an exchanged look how happy he was.

 

"Hey, no fingering the driver," Gabriel quipped from the back seat.

 

Cas groaned. This was gonna be a long drive.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas had prepared his bed for Sammy to sleep in, whereas Gabriel was taking the Fort-couch. Of course Sammy had been envious about that, but they all agreed that Cas's bed was more comfortable to sleep in.

 

He helped his brother change into his pajamas before he lowered him onto the bed, pulling the covers over him. "So what do you think of the city so far? Did you have a fun night?"

 

Sammy nodded and smiled. “It’s so much smaller than New York. More intimate.”

 

"People here are much friendlier, too," Cas joked as he sat next to Sammy on the edge of the bed. "I'm glad you’re here."

 

Sammy braced his good hand over Cas’s. “You look real happy, Cas.”

 

Cas gave him a broad smile. "I am. I know... you told me over and over I should try to find happiness and I never thought I could... and now... now I have Dean. I didn't plan for this to happen. It just sort of did."

 

“That’s kinda how it works, I think. And he seems stupid for you.”

 

"Well, I hope so." Cas chuckled. "Otherwise this would be super embarrassing." He rubbed his thumb over Sammy's hand. "How are things at home?"

 

Sammy smiled a little sadly. “Good. I miss you, though.”

 

Cas swallowed dryly and bit his lower lip for a moment to keep his emotions in check. "Yeah, um, I miss you too. A fucking lot. I wish we could see each other more often."

 

“They’re, uh… they’re opening a base out here for Dark Horse comics, well, in Vancouver. Gabe refuses to let me move on my own.” Sammy sighed and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”

 

Cas's eyes widened. "What? You mean you could work here on the west coast?"

 

“Yeah. And just a couple hours drive from Seattle. They’re even offering to fund my move and help me find an apartment that can accomodate me. And the insurance authorizes an in house nurse, but… You know how Gabe is.”

 

"I could try to talk to Gabe. Not sure how much he would listen to me, but... fuck, if you feel ready to live your own life, you should do it. And I can be here for whenever you need me and if you think it's getting too much I can come or you can live here? Maybe, I mean I need to talk to Dean first, but..." He knew he was rambling, but hearing Sammy talk about moving to live on his own... it was huge!

 

Sammy smiled at Cas, his expression hopeful. “You mean it?”

 

"Of course! You know I would do anything for you to make you happy and achieve anything you want in your life. You have my full support if you wanna try this."

 

“I do. I really want to try and be on my own. I know Gabe means well, but… I can do this,” he said, voice determined.

 

“Hey, you also got a crazy ass awesome job. Of course you can do this.” He carded his hand through Sammy’s hair. “I’ll try my best to convince Gabe and if I can’t… then we’ll kidnap you.”

 

“We’ll do what now?” Dean asked from the doorway, jacket over his arm like he was about to leave.

 

Cas waved him over. "Sammy might get a job in Vancouver and he wants to live on his own. But there is still the matter of convincing Gabriel."

 

“That’s great. And I mean, he’s an adult. If Gabe isn’t cool with it, just do it anyway.” Dean said as he stepped into the room.

 

"It's not that easy..." Cas murmured as he exchanged a look with his brother.

 

Dean shrugged as he leaned against the wall. “I’m sure there’s legalities when it comes to care givers and rights, but my brother’s a lawyer and we can definitely try to get you emancipated. So, reality is: you can do it, with or without Gabe’s permission and if he’s smart, he’s gonna not cut off contact with you because of it.”

 

“It’s not just that, Dean. I don’t think Gabriel would be against it if Sammy really fights him on it.” Cas gave Sammy a quick nod. “But it’s his first time being on his own. Of course Gabe… and I will be worried. And I want Sammy to have some securities he can fall back on if everything becomes too much.”  

 

Dean smiled. “And he will. You’re here.”

 

Cas cleared his throat and looked up at Dean, feeling nervous, “I was hoping for a, ‘we're here’.”

 

“Well, that’s a given. But I’m pretty sure Sammy’s more interested in the you part of we.”

 

If there _had_ been any doubt left in Cas's mind, it would have been eradicated in that moment. Dean was going to stand by his side, no matter what happened. He knew he could rely on him to be there for him.

 

He gave Dean a soft smile and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I love you."

 

"Yuck," Sammy complained with a chuckle, "go somewhere else for smooching."

 

“You heard him, come on,” Dean said with a nod toward the door.

 

Cas leaned over to ruffle Sammy's hair. "Sleep well. We’ll talk with Gabe in the morning. I got your back."

 

"Thank you... Kitty," Sammy replied with a smug grin.

 

Cas rolled his eyes and walked up to Dean. "This will have consequences for you, just so you know."

 

Dean gave him a satisfied smile. “Worth it.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Two months later Sammy had his own apartment in Vancouver, which was pretty much perfect for him. There weren't any stairs and it was ground level, and Dean, Bobby, and even Gabriel had helped rebuild the rest of his apartment so he could be as independent as possible. Of course Gabriel was worrying like a mother hen, but Sammy seemed to be incredibly happy.

 

He also seemed to have befriended Meg. He had just video called Cas during his lunch break and she was the only topic. Meg this, Meg that. Cas was sure that friendship was soon to be updated into something more romantic.

 

He couldn't be more happy for Sammy.

 

He was also incredibly happy that the Fort-ress of Solitude had finally found a new place in Dean's apartment. Living with Dean, just being with him, sometimes still felt too good to be true.

 

He had been on the road for such a long time, always searching for something he thought he would never find and now he had found it. He suddenly had friends, a job he liked, a partner for better and worse... a home. He had found happiness.

 

Maybe not in this exact moment where one of the servers crashed and he tried to find the bug that was causing it, but yeah... he was damn happy to spend the rest of his life exactly the way it was.

 

And of course his damn phone had to start ringing.

 

He picked it up without looking at the display, too busy with staring at his screen. "Cas Novak. IT. What can I help you with?"

 

“Kitten, my computer hates me,” Dean grumbled.

 

Cas pursed his lips, trying to keep himself from laughing. He had slowly started to get used to the nickname. "Well, I wish I could say that is just your imagination, but I fear in this case… What’s happening?"

 

“My email keeps giving me a weird error message and shuts me out.”

 

Cas had given up asking Dean about the content of the error messages. He smiled softly. "Save all your work progress. Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

 

“You know damn well I haven’t. Don’t ask stupid questions and go into your email and fix mine,” he demanded.

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head, "Why do you want me to check my mail when yours doesn't work? Did you send me something?" He minimized the console and tabbed over to his mail program.

 

Dean sighed. “Why must you assume I’m trying to trick you into opening your email?”

 

“I’m not. I’m just…” There was no email to his direct account, but there was a new one to their IT support mail distributor. A mail that was public to everyone in his department.

 

* * *

  
_To: ITS Service Request <itservice_request@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Fr: Dean Winchester <d.winchester@smith-wesson.com>_  
_Subject: [No Subject]_

 

__

[image of Will Smith]

[image of a ewe]

[image of Mary Poppins]

[image of Mini Me]

 

 _Dean Winchester - M.B.A._  
_Marketing Director and Hopeful Proposal Asker_  
_Smith & Wesson_  
_1842 5th Ave., Seattle, WA, 98101_  
_P. 222-555-5309_  
_F. 222-555-8675_

* * *

 

Cas stared at the pictures and the, "WILL YOU MARRY ME," instantly popped into his head before he even noticed the addition in the footer of the mail.

 

His heart skipped a beat and his face hurt from how much he was smiling. He tried to take in a calming breath before he grinned. "Uh, Dean?"

 

“Yeah?” Dean responded, his tone adorably hopeful.

 

He loved his walking IT disaster and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life fixing his computer.

 

"You do realize that you sent this email to the whole IT department, right?"

 

There was a beat of silence before Dean cried out, “Motherfucker! I _hate_ computers!”

 

**The End**


End file.
